Tag Archives: habits

Seizing Moments

1 Reply

Yesterday I had the opportunity to have lunch with my admin team. Now when I say that I’m talking about 3 ‘teammates’ that do not work in the same building as me. So when we can get together and enjoy a meal it’s a special moment. The moment was made that much more special because two of the three people I met are moving on… one to a new position, and the other one retiring. Then, after work, I connected with some other administrators for a wellness gathering. It was wonderful to spend that time connecting with colleagues that I don’t always see during my typical work week. And when I came home, my wife and I had a wonderful evening together. We both seem to have a little more energy than we usually do on a Friday night. It was a fun night of laughter and conversation.

This morning I did the Coquitlam crunch with my buddy, and while it was cold and early, and we were the only ones in the parking lot, it was a ‘seize the moment kind’ of opportunity. This was our 120th Crunch since we started 3 years ago in January 2020. My buddy suggested that the title of this post should be “Just Do It”, and that was the initial plan, but my thoughts go a little beyond that this afternoon.

After our walk and coffee shop social, I went home and said bye to my wife and helped her pack the car to head over to the island to visit her parents. Then my daughter called and asked for a ride because she spent an anniversary night out with her boyfriend and they were heading home from downtown. After dropping her boyfriend at his house, my daughter and I decided to go and enjoy a sushi lunch at a wonderful restaurant. I can’t express how wonderful it is to have grown-up kids who still look forward to a meal with their father (and yes, especially when he’s paying).

Now I am sitting in my hot tub, penning my ideas using voice to text, and even enjoying a little visit for my cat.

Visits with colleagues, chats with my wife, walks with friends, meals with family, and hot tubs on a cold winter day, these are all small little moments individually… But weave them together, and they make for an absolutely wonderful life.

We sometimes go headlong into work, and bury ourselves in busyness, not realizing that we don’t have to put everything on hold until our next vacation, or gathering with family or friends. Tiny moments, planned, and unplanned, are the moments we need to seek and enjoy.

Rethinking sleep

Leave a reply

I probably shared this before, but as a 30 year old, new to teaching, I got used to very little sleep. I’d routinely get 5 or less hours sleep for several nights in a row. A friend and colleague who struggled when he had less than 8 hours sleep told me that I was burning my candle at both ends and that I was going to die 10 years younger because of my lack of sleep.

That night, some time after 1am, I sent him an email basically explaining that I’d done the math and if I lived to 70 and he lived to 80, then I would have been awake longer than him.

Now in my mid 50’s I definitely need more sleep. I also notice that I really don’t function as well when I’m tired. However I still struggle to get 6.5-7hrs sleep most nights in a week. My weekly average is probably closer to 6 than 7 hours nightly. And my sleep is a little more interrupted too.

And this is despite the fact that every medical professional I follow and learn from speaks about the value of sleep. I know I don’t get enough of it. I know this isn’t a healthy choice. Yet I’m still up late writing this and I’m going to be up before everyone else in my family tomorrow morning.

I need to rethink this. I need to schedule longer sleep times… and I need to go to sleep now.

Sweet dreams.

Hello 2024 – Healthy Living Goals

Leave a reply

A new year, a new plan.

I’ve learned a lot about setting goals and keeping them since I started my Healthy Living Goals back on January 1st, 2019.

I picked up the book Atomic Habits around then, and it both reinforced some good systems I had in place and also gave me new and powerful insights to keep my good habits going. I used a year-long calendar to track my goals and continued doing this for ’20, ’21, and ’22, but decided I didn’t need it for 2023. And while I did a fantastic job with my fitness. I did however develop a herniated disc in my neck that set me back quite a bit at the start of the year, but I came back with a new focus and feel that my body has responded and recovered. But on a less successful note, I totally let my meditation commitment slide.

For 2024 I’m going back to my calendar, and I’m publicly sharing my goals, because I know it’s a good external motivation for me to make my goals public. Here they are:

1. An average of 6 workouts a week. 20 minutes of cardio, stretching, and at least one body part pushed to 3 hard sets.

2. Meditation: A minimum of 10 minutes daily, and one day for longer than that, (tracked with a black dot on my daily sticker when I at least double the 10 minute minimum).

3. Writing my Daily-Ink every day… Continuing my streak from July 2019. While this is already a consistent daily habit, I think it’s great to have one goal on my calendar where I have a continuous streak running.

4. More writing/creating: My goal will be to write, or edit videos (a project with my uncle), or doing something creative, 3 times a week for at least an hour. Most if not all of this will be on the weekends, but I also plan on making more time for myself daily.

How will I find more time in my week? I plan on being on my phone less. A lot less. I haven’t always been great with my phone habits but I think it got worse in 2023. I’m going to cut my scrolling. I’m going to start writing blog posts on my laptop rather than phone. I’m going to schedule time when my phone is on the counter rather than on me.

I rarely watch TV, I don’t watch sports, I think I can meet my above goals by sticking to current habits and just using my time better. I’m writing this (admittedly on my phone) on New Year’s Eve. I tried before, but unsuccessfully, to write at night rather than in the morning, so that I have more time for things like meditation and stretching when I wake up.

So there you have it. I do have a few physical goals beyond regular workouts. But having just spent 6 and a half months getting my left arm (almost) back to full strength, because my herniated disc pinched a nerve that seriously impinged the strength of most exercises I did with that arm… I consider these goals secondary, and may cautiously change these if they push me too hard.

These goals include:

  • 30 pull-ups (I did 15 today for my first set and 10 on a second set). When I first had this goal it was also along with the goal of 60 pushups… I did that one morning last month. 💪😀👍
  • Bench 225 lbs (two 45 plates on each side of the bar). This is something I did (albeit not for full sets) at the start of the year, but I have a way to go to get back there, and even further to be doing full sets at that weight.
  • A 30 second unassisted handstand. I have had this (unattained) goal for a number of years. I was on a roll until a minor shoulder injury, then never got back to trying.

Again, these are goals that may change but I wanted to put them ‘out there’. My fully committed goals are the 4 numbered ones above. I’m truly excited about what 2024 has in store!

Uncertainty and doubt

1 Reply

I had a dream last night. In it someone I care about was asking my why I even bother writing my daily blog? She called it boring and a waste of time. In all honesty, this being said in my dream bugged me more than if the person in my dream actually said it in person. It bothered me because I am the author of my dreams, not the people I see in them.

So essentially I was casting doubt on myself. That’s harsh.

Why bother? Why make the effort? Who do I think I am, that anyone would care to read what I have to say? These are the internal voices of uncertainty and doubt. These are questions that tear me down rather than build me up.

These are the pangs that prevent people from sharing their ideas, their writing, their art, their creative expression, and even their love.

“I’m not good enough.”

“Other people are so much better.”

“I’m not creative enough.”

“I have nothing of value to say.”

It’s easier to silence the naysayers than it is to silence your own inner voice. I can handle all kinds of feedback. I can learn from the harshest of criticism. A perfect example is an angry, yelling coach never upset me, I just took the feedback.

But that inside voice… that nagging self-doubt, that self-uncertainty, that is something I do not always battle well with. It holds me back. It keeps me from speaking up, from stepping up, from confidently sharing my thoughts and opinions.

Why is it that the internal battles we face are so much harder than the outside ones?

What helps me is consistency. It’s developing habits where I can push through the uncertainty and doubt. It’s creating small accomplishments that lead me to successful outcomes. No, I’m not going to be the athlete I was in my 20’s ever again… but I’m fitter now than I ever was in my 30’s and 40’s, and I suffer less back pain than I did in my 20’s. Oh, and no one workout got me where I am today.

In fact it wasn’t the good workouts that got me here, it was the days that I didn’t want to work out, the times I had to talk myself into just going through the motions that made me get to this point. I’m floundering a bit right now with working out, but I still get my butt on my stationary bike or treadmill every day. I still don’t let myself miss 2 days in a row, and rarely let myself miss 3 days in a week.

Some days I might hit the publish button on my blog and think ‘that’s not a great post’. But I still hit the button, I still make the effort. I still read over my work and try to edit it. And I still get mad at myself when I see a typo or wrong word published. The same critic that tries to stop me can also be my friend. It doesn’t just shut me down, it adds an element of high expectations towards all my final work.

And that’s why my dream this morning hurt me a bit. It was my inner voice being a gremlin, trying to find fault with myself, my work, my creativity. Uncertainty and doubt are not usually our friends, they are the bedfellows of procrastination and excuses. They are the enemies of confidence and productivity. And while they may lay dormant for a while, they can creep up on us when we least expect it. Like in our dreams…

But I’m awake now. It’s time to hit the publish button. It’s time to get on the treadmill. There is work to be done and I’ll just tuck the uncertainty and doubt away.

Resilience building

3 Replies

I mentioned this in my post yesterday about Generation X, “for the most part this is a generation that is tough, tolerant, and resilient. Resilience is something I see a lot of younger generations struggling with.”

Here are a few ways I see a lack of resilience in students today:

• Feedback is viewed too critically. Comments on achievement or performance are taken personally, as if constructive feedback on an outcome is a personal attack on the person. “You could have done a better job with…” is interpreted as, “You are a failure”. There is little or no separation between feedback on a presentation or product and feedback on personal identity, all critical feedback feels like an attack.

In my role as a principal I recently gave some behavioural feedback to a student who later emailed me and said among other things, “I’m not a bad person.” At no time did I ever say or believe this person was bad, just making poor choices. It didn’t matter to the student that I separated the behavior out as the issue, it was still taken as a personal attack.

• Hurt feelings are not handled well. Words are treated like physical attacks. There is limited separation between minor and major harm. This can come across in many ways, but essentially the old ‘sticks and stones‘ nursery rhyme has been turned around and sounds more like, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will always harm me more.”

Now I’m not a proponent of the ideas that words don’t hurt. Social bullying can be far more brutal than a physical fight which ends in 20 seconds, and taunting and continuous verbal attacks can be devastating to deal with… But when a simple moment of teasing between friends is seen as just as hurtful as a verbal assault from a bully with a power differential between the bully and the victim, then there is a problem. When words instantly hurt and the scale of impact is always high, there is a definite issue of lack of resilience.

• Self loathing. Self talk like, “I’m not good enough.” Or, “It’s too hard.” Or simply, “I can’t!” …All get in the way of effort. There seems to be a (legitimate) struggle with the mental aspect of doing hard things. I added ‘(legitimate)’ because I’m not trying to say that the person is just quitting, rather there seems to be a mental roadblock that some students face which gets in the way of successful work.

This is very hard to deal with as a teacher. It comes across as the student being lazy, or distracted, or even defiant. But it’s not so much that the students doesn’t want to, they just really don’t know how to frame the work in a way that makes it a priority. I think this is a resilience issue too. When hard things are avoided rather than faced over and over again, the work of doing something hard becomes too difficult to face, and what gets defined as hard becomes less and less difficult over time.

I can’t put my finger on the causes for the lack of resilience I’m seeing today? It can be a trifecta of parenting, technology distraction, and media influences, or maybe just cultural norms? But we need to start thinking about resilience building as a teachable outcome.

Failure is not getting a bad result, failure is accepting a bad result without learning the hard lessons about what didn’t work. Failure is not seeking out the support to do better next time. Failure is a lack of reflection and feedback about how to improve. Failure is a lack of resilience, and resilience is something that isn’t strengthened without hearing hard things, and feeling hurt, or discouraged, or disappointed, and both working though and overcoming the difficulty.

Resilience is built, it is earned, it isn’t bestowed. It’s tough to toughen up. If it was easy it wouldn’t actually build resilience.

More than subsistence

Leave a reply

We need food to survive. We must feed ourselves. But how we do so varies considerably.

Some people eat purely for subsistence. They know they need to eat so they do. It’s a chore. Maybe they don’t care for food, maybe they are on a specific diet for weight loss,,, or weight gain like a bodybuilder, and they eat what they must to stick to their diet or a timeline.

Some people get immense pleasure from eating. Every meal is an opportunity to celebrate the joy and taste of food. Every bite is a dopamine fix, and an opportunity for enjoyment.

Some people eat for comfort. Food is a non-judgmental friend that is always there for them. They don’t just eat food, they have a loving relationship with it. Food is an entity in their lives, not just objects to be put in their mouths.

Some people don’t get enough food. Food to them is a goal, it’s not just a desire, it’s a need. I think this is where humans and animals all start their food relationships. Babies cry when they are hungry. Caveman spent the majority of their lives hunting and foraging and making weapons, all for the purpose of getting that next necessary and life sustaining meal.

Now, for much of the world food is not just about the next opportunity for subsistence, it’s the quest for something enjoyable. It’s not just a human thing, my cat will wait for me to open a can of wet food, while an endless supply of hard food is available to him. It’s not just about getting energy into our bodies, it’s the desire for an enjoyable meal. Food is a journey and not just a destination.

For that reason, I think food addictions are as challenging as any drug addiction can be. Just as food can be a friend, it can be a foe. In fact it is a horrible foe because it masquerades as a dear friend. It feeds you the illusion of comfort while all the while undermining your health and wellbeing.

Sugar can be as addictive as other more illicit white powders. It can change your gut biome, which in turn can influence your thought processes. It triggers your dopamine to spike and brings pleasure. Studies have demonstrated that mice would rather choose a sugary snack than a dose of morphine. We can have food relationships like these mice, seeking out the dopamine hit of food over drugs. Food over everything else.

Our relationship with food has so many influences, from how prone we are to addiction, to the availability of food when we were young, to the balance or imbalance of nutrients versus junk food we consume, to our pleasure we get or don’t get preparing food.

I think when we live in a world of abundant food, where food is much more than just for subsistence, we need to be conscious of our relationship to food. We need to be intentional about what we need to eat, and we need to be disciplined to reduce the foods that do not serve us well. With too much choice comes too many bad choices, and so we must cultivate a healthy diet, and a healthy relationship with food.

The positive thing about this is that we need not sacrifice taste, there are many foods that are both good for us and tasty. What we must sacrifice are choice and time: Limit choices of bad foods at our disposal, and find the time to make healthier meals that are not as convenient as takeout or premade and prepackaged… All the while being tempted and triggered by our desires to eat sweet, fast, and easy to access calories that don’t add any value to our wellbeing.

We can enjoy food that is also good for us, and we can define our relationship to food around healthy options, but it takes effort, will power, and time. Bon appétit.

It can be a struggle

Leave a reply

Committing to writing every day is a challenge. I’ve added to that the pressure to publish what I write… Every. Single. Day.

It is a comfort to know that it doesn’t have to be great. That my audience is small, and that sometimes I can write something I think is great and no one else notices… And sometimes something I wrote just off the cuff resonates with people. I find that fascinating.

Still, there are times I am stuck, have writer’s block, and yet feel immense pressure to be thoughtful and creative. It’s a real struggle. I can develop self-doubt and question myself. I wonder what’s so unique about my perspective that I should have so much to say? I feel like an imposter, spewing ramblings that aren’t worth sharing. Sometimes I just can’t think of anything to write. Nothing comes to me except the dread that I’ve got nothing else of any value to say.

Then I remember something. I remember that if it was really easy, I would have gotten bored and given up by now. I remember that I love to write and before writing daily, I seldom wrote at all, despite my desire to do so. I recognize that though the struggle is real, it’s a struggle I desire to have.

And then some days the words just flow. Other days they start slow and the flood gates open and I can’t type fast enough. And so the days that it’s really hard, the days when I feel that I have nothing of value to say, those are the days that matter most.

The hard days are the ones that provide me with the consist opportunity to write. The struggle is real, and necessary, and even enjoyable. Well, enjoyable may not be the right term, but more enjoyable than tolerable. The hard days are hard, but rewarding… that’s the better term. The days I struggle create the space for the great days.

The hard days are a necessary part of a routine that opens up a river of ideas to let creativity, thoughtfulness, and self expression flow in. The hard days can feel like a dam, but a dam allows for consistency of pressure, allowing for the generation of energy, of ideas, of words flowing regularly. The daily commitment is not to produce great work, it’s to produce work consistently, without excuses. Not without struggle, but despite it… Because of it. Yes, it’s a struggle, but a struggle I need to experience if I’m going to continue to create; continue to craft; continue to write. Every. Single. Day.

This, on a day when I thought I had absolutely nothing more to say.

(Re)stacking habits

Leave a reply

I used to wake up, write a blog post, meditate for 10 minutes, and work out, all before getting in the shower around 6:45-7am. I used the Atomic Habits strategy of stacking my habits one-after-the-other so that I reduced a lot of friction in my mornings. I’d start writing and the rest of the stacked habits just happened one after the other.

A couple things happened to change this. I have been spending more time writing, stopped meditating, and started spending more time stretching. However, it was the writing time that was the big change since both the meditation and stretching were both 10 minutes long. What I’ve noticed is that my workouts and stretching are getting shorter.

So, I need to unstack my current habits. I need to write most or all of my posts at night, then I can start my morning with meditation, cardio, stretch, then a strength routine dedicated to one or two muscles, which is my usual routine. Essentially I’m not really unstacking my habits, I’m re-stacking them in a way that they give me the outcomes I want without compromising any of them at the expense of others… I just changed the title of this post from ‘Unstacking habits’ to ‘(Re)stacking habits’… Because stacking works, but it needs to work for all the habits, not just some of them.

As a good friend said, I won’t know how well this works until I try it for at least a couple weeks, because a few days aren’t long enough for a pattern to be formed, for a habit to truly become a habit. Let’s see how this goes. If I remember, I’ll give a progress report some time later this month.

Staying consistent

Leave a reply

There have been a lot of reasons why my fitness routine has been challenging this year. It seem that I haven’t had a full month where there has been anything routine about my daily routine. I was just back in Toronto for my dad’s memorial and in 8 days I slept in 5 different places. I also ended the trip with a cold and spent the weekend recovering. I’m still not 100%, but I’m not coughing and I’ll wear a mask and get back to work this morning.

That said, I slept in a bit and I’m writing this as I pedal on my stationary bike at about 80% of my normal speed. The way I feel, I don’t think I’d go any faster if I wasn’t tapping these words into my phone. Just 3 days ago I was using speech-to-text to do my writing on an elliptical… This is not a normal thing to try and simultaneously hit two of my daily goals at once, but I’m making it work at a time when doing otherwise would make things harder for me.

It would be easy to skip something. It would take no effort on a day like this to give myself a pass. But I already did that Saturday and Sunday when I felt like crap. I haven’t skipped 3 days of exercise in over 3 years, and I’m not going to start now. So I’m muscling through, sweating far more than usual, while my output is lower than usual. But here is the point I didn’t know this post would be about that I realize now: It’s the days you just show up and totally don’t want to that matter the most.

Consistency isn’t about your regular routine. Your regular routine is a habit, it’s hard to make but once you’ve made it the effort is actually quite low. Consistency is getting you butt in gear and active, doing what needs to be done, when you really don’t want to. When you really aren’t up to it or in the mood or think you have time for it. Or when your routine gets disrupted and you have to go out of your way to follow through. Like being on an elliptical at a hotel at 9:30pm when my alarm is set for 3am, or sweating buckets on my stationary bike at the tail end of a cold, and simultaneously writing these words. This is harder than my normal workout. This is the grunt work. This is what it takes to be consistent.

We aren’t demonstrating consistency when everything is going smoothly, we have to demonstrate it when there is a disruption and and we still follow through.

The hard work of being consistent comes from actively doing what needs to be done when there is nothing consistent happening around you.

I’m going to make that into a poster and put it on my home gym wall.

Last lazy day

1 Reply

Well today I did a whole lot of nothing. I came down to the basement do a workout 3 hours ago, and I have successfully completed a 10 minute row, less than 10 minutes of stretching, and an abdominal workout that lasted the length of a 2 minute and 40 second song. Hey, this might not be a typical workout… but I didn’t skip the day. Not every workout needs to be at 100%.

I listened to a part of a podcast, watched a few TikToks, and I’m writing this lying on my back next to a magnetic toy where I successfully made a couple DNA strands out of triangles. 

I’ve spoken about playing with geometry before, this ‘playing’ was the most productive part of my day.

Tomorrow is Day 1 of the new school year and the pace for the next month will be anything but lazy. So, I look at my 3 hours of ‘wasted’ time as time very well wasted. Today was the calm before the storm. Batteries are charging, and I’m taking full advantage of my last lazy day, not even caring that I’m mixing my metaphors. 🤪

Now off to pick up pizza, ain’t no way my wife and I are cooking tonight! 😀

—-

To all the educators out there, I wish you a fabulous year of teaching and learning ahead!