Settled, not settling

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When I moved to Vancouver, I lived a couple blocks from a corner market store that I went to regularly. I got to know the owner, and he treated me to day-old newspapers for free. Unsold papers were not paid for by him, he simply had to cut out the name and date on the front page to return and then recycle the rest of the paper… but he’d save one for me rather than recycle it. For a few months I was a regular reader of the paper news, something I’ve seldom done before or after that time.

In a box in my garage, I know I have a file with clippings I kept from that time. It has been 20+ years since I’ve even seen this file, much less read any of the articles in it. However, there is one article I clipped because at the time it seemed unsettling to me. It was an autobiographical article about an ambitious journalist who got married, had a kid, and completely shifted his priorities. He no longer had the desire to be a travelling journalist seeking news and adventures in foreign lands. Instead, he found joy and desire to be home, spending time with family, and walking his kid to school each morning.

The article was very well written, and convincing… And it bothered me. I remember putting the paper into the recycling bin, and a day or two later before taking it out on trash day, I decided to clip the article out. I was a single, 26-year-old and I decided to keep it as a sort of cautionary tale, a reminder to keep my goals at the forefront, and not ‘settle down’… Not let my aspirations go just because of family.

So why am I thinking of this now? A couple reasons. First, I was young and foolish and didn’t understand the joy of raising kids. But the real reason this came to mind is that now as I head towards the first September in 30 years that I’m not thinking about what I’ll be doing at school, I realize how much my priorities will change.

I recognize that so much of what I defined myself by was about being a teacher and a leader. And that’s gone now. Work defined a large part of my day, and that in turn structured how I identified myself. Without that, what am I? I can see this question getting existential for some retirees… but I’m seeing it in a really good light.

Family and friends, projects I’ve always wanted to get done, more time to write, and even time to cook. These are some of the things I’m going to settle into.

I thought I was keeping that article as a cautionary tale, but I kept it to understand the writer’s perspective, just not as soon as him. He wasn’t settling for less, he was getting settled with priorities that matter.

I’ve got the time

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Yesterday evening my cousin texted me that his brother is in town. So today I changed my plans and am heading to visit them this afternoon. I know that seeing my visiting cousin will include beverages… and no way to drive home safely, so I’ve packed a bag and will plan to stay the night.

I also know that with my ‘Everest the Crunch’ event starting on Friday, I can’t have a late night like this later in the week. So I just changed my plans and made the visit tonight instead of on the coming days.

I love having the flexibility to make last minute decisions like this. I think that’s going to be one of the best parts of retirement. Sure I love my routines, and maintaining good habits, but I also enjoy letting loose on short notice. Knowing that I have the time to do this, not just in the summer but beyond, is a real gift I’m looking forward to!

News Lies

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When a world leader blatantly lies, and that lie is shared on social media by a news agency with no commentary, no attempt to share how false the information is, that news cast is doing a disservice to the communities they serve. It’s devoid of journalistic integrity.

We don’t live in an era where it’s ok for people to make their own judgements. A month ago a major news agency shared such a blatant exaggeration and series of lies on TikTok that I felt compelled to send them a private message: “Pathetic to share this post with no commentary on a news channel. This isn’t news it’s pandering to attention. Shame on you. Do better.”

I don’t think my comment made a difference. And so I’m starting to wonder what will? What will it take for news stations to have the backbone to speak out rather than complacently share falsehoods? Assuming somehow that the general public will ascertain fact from fiction, and truth from lie, when it’s the news source sharing the lie, is a major problem.

I understand attempts to be objective when sharing the news, but objectively sharing a lie and expecting the general public to figure it out is a pathetic approach, and I’m seeing more and more of it.

News media doesn’t need to make it a rant, they don’t need to scream, they don’t have to sensationalize. What they do need to do is fact check blatant falsehoods and call them out. To continue to share blatant lies from known liars and call that news… is essentially accepting the role as part of a propaganda machine, and that’s not news.

Everest The Crunch in a week!

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Dave Sands and I will be Everesting the Crunch starting a week from today. Our training has tapered, and we just need to stay injury free. This morning after a shoulder workout at the gym, we hopped onto the Crunch to do just one, and we created this video inviting people to join us next week.

I mentioned ‘Do hard things’ briefly in the video, this is something that has been on my mind a lot recently as I head into retirement. I’m not just going to the gym, I’m trying to make gains. I’m not just trying to go up the crunch again, I’m trying to walk up it 37 times in less than 48 hours, which involves walking up hill the distance of 2 marathons. I’m not just continuing my daily blog, I’m planning to write a book starting in November.

Hard things.

I think we find more meaning out of life when we try to do hard things. That said, I’m not trying to do it alone. We need to also make connections and maintain meaningful relationships. It means so much that I’m doing this with Dave, and it means so much to us that our family and friends will be there to support us.

New music obsession

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If you told me that I’d ever get obsessed with a techno band, I’d say you were crazy. I am not someone that gets into repetitive beats, or at least I didn’t think so. I am, however, someone who can fixate on a song or an album and listen to it non-stop for days or even weeks.

Right now, Imael Angel is that band. There are actually two songs I just can’t get enough of. The first one is ‘Albedo’. I have no idea how I ended up finding it, but it has enamoured my ears, and I can’t get enough of it.

The second one is a true theme song. Powerful and inspiring. I want turn the volume up to 11 every time I hear it: ‘I’m a Phoenix Rising’.

I now have a playlist called Techno Beats, but really it’s just 7 songs by Imael Angel… and for the next while it’s going to be the only playlist I listen to whenever I’m on my own. Hang around me long enough and you will hear it.

St. Mark’s Summit

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I had the opportunity to join my buddy Dave and family for a hike up to St. Mark’s Summit from Cypress Mountain today. It’s a 10km hike that took us 2.5 hours plus a bit more time at the viewpoint. We met a raven, a few very brave chipmunks, and a few other hikers, but unlike a lot of more popular hikes, it was quite quiet on the trail.

I feel blessed to live in such a beautiful area. We really have some spectacular hikes, with beautiful scenery here on the west coast. It feels magical and reminds me that I have so much more to explore in my ‘back yard’. 

Sugar bomb

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I just saw a clip from a very popular podcast where an ‘expert’ talked about the equivalent sugar in a bowl of cereal not being as bad as a bowl of plain white rice. It basically conflated carbohydrate energy with white sugar cubes. This is ridiculous. We have a hard enough time trying to cut sugar out of our diets to have this deceiving information shared to millions of people as if it’s informative much less helpful.

I’ve only ever spent a few weeks tracking my calorie intake and that was only about a year ago. I didn’t really give it an honest effort. However, 7 years ago I started paying attention to sugar content in foods and that had a dramatic effect on my healthiness. I reduced my sugar intake considerably, and I dropped the weight I needed to.*

It was really challenging. Almost everything had more sugar than I expected. Here are two examples:

1. Ketchup. Sugar isn’t on the ingredients list, it’s usually corn syrup. But a serving of one tablespoon has 4 grams of sugar – and who ever just uses one tablespoon of ketchup? I used to consider ketchup its own food group, I put it on everything. Now, I have almost completely eliminated ketchup from my diet. I’ll only have it occasionally on fries or cooked into a recipe, but I often substitute it with mustards (plain, Dijon, and/or honey Dijon, although you need to check the ingredients for sugar in the honey Dijon).

2. Granola. When you go into a granola aisle in a grocery store, you might think you’re choosing a healthy meal. Most granola has at least 14 grams of sugar per serving and some go up as high as 22g or more. The first time I looked, the lowest I could find was 8g. When you factor in that the recommended serving sizes are usually half to 1/3 the size of what my typical serving would be, all of a sudden this ‘healthy meal’ has a crap load of sugar in it!

There are also other very obvious places where it’s easy to cut out sugar. Cookies and soda are easy examples. I don’t drink a lot of pop, and when I do it’s usually sugar free. I will also have the occasional cookie (or 3), but occasionally means 2-3 times in a month at most.

Sugar is added to so many things, and it affects our gut biome, which in turn can generate cravings and a cycle of always seeking/desiring more sugar. I’m not immune to this, but by intentionally avoiding sugar I can say that my desire for it has been dramatically reduced.

The newest thing I’m keenly aware of is keeping away from sugar replacements as well. Foods don’t need to be sweet to be good. But again, this is hard. It seems like every processed item in the grocery store is filled with sugar, corn syrup, or sweeteners. It takes effort to avoid. But it’s worth the effort.

I like to think I’m already sweet enough, I don’t need loads of sugar to make me any sweeter. 😆

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*Note: When I lost the weight 7 years ago I didn’t just cut out sugar. Initially I combined this with a couple other strategies to get the greatest impact: 6 weeks on a ketogenic diet, and about 10 months of intermittent fasting, which I still try to follow several nights a week, eliminating after dinner snacking, which for me is seldom healthy. I still pay a lot of attention to my sugar intake.)

Intentional Inconvenience

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I used my Extended Health benefits beyond what was allowed without a Doctor’s note and it was denied. Fortunately, I have a doctor’s note, so I sent it in via snail mail… something I had previously done without issue. Months later I followed up with a phone call when I realized that the benefit still wasn’t approved. After waiting an inconsiderate amount of time to speak to a human, I was told that it would be better to use the health care company’s app and upload the doctor’s note, so that it’s attached to the claim. I did this, as instructed and was turned down again.

Today, after once again going through the automated phone tree of options, I was told by an automated voice that ‘My call was important’ and also that due to too many calls, please hang up and try again. Twice. The third time I was lucky enough to be put on hold. At this point I was offered an opportunity to hang up and be called back, but I chose to stay on the line. I didn’t want a callback when it was inconvenient and then have to go through this process again. Upon finally talking to a human almost 30 minutes later, she was able to see the unapproved benefits on my file. She then informed me that their automated system can not read the attachment uploads on the app, and so no one looked at my doctor’s note.

Here is a synopsis. Don’t mail in the doctor’s note like you used to, we won’t connect it to the benefit claim that needs it. Instead, use the app, which will allow you to upload the doctor’s note… so we can ignore it there too.

On top of that the app itself is inconvenient. It has a series of check boxes and boxes to fill, but interwoven are also tabs that are necessary to go to, to toggle or choose other options not on the original screen. Even after using it several times, I still end up trying to complete a claim only to be told that I’ve missed a toggle/tab (or two).

In this day and age, I doubt if this inconvenience isn’t at least somewhat intentional. I wonder how many people don’t get their (deserved) claims just because the process is designed such that you need to make a very inconvenient follow-up call to ensure payment? I wonder how many seniors and people with disabilities lose out on opportunities to claim benefits because the process is too challenging for them to navigate? We are intentionally inconvenienced because servicing our needs is not seen as the purpose, but as an expense… We are seen as the inconvenience.

Gains not pains

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I lift heavy in the gym. Not crazy or super strong, but for how much I weigh, I can move some heavy weights. That said, my age has changed my strategy on how I do this… safely. When I was younger, I’d often lift to my maximum, my one-rep max. Now, I don’t know what my one-rep max is for any of my exercises? I never try.

Instead, I work to get every set to 10-12 reps. When I can get 10-12 on my third set, that’s when I consider moving up in weight. That happened today on shoulder press. When I move up in weight next week, I will be at that new level for a long time, I’m not going to get to 10 reps any time soon… And that’s ok.

I haven’t moved up in weight for bar bench press in a couple years, but I have significantly improved my free weight barbell bench press. Why? With the bar, I feel a lot of pressure on my shoulders. That doesn’t mean I don’t push hard. I’m still only at 5-7 reps for my last 2 sets, I just haven’t seen gains with the bar, and again that’s ok with me.

The point being, with any set I’m still going to the point where I’m struggling to get to 10-12 on my second last set. I’m going to hopefully get 4-7 reps on the 3rd set. I’m going to be pushing my muscles to fatigue. What I won’t be doing is straining to lift a heavier weight which I can only lift 1-2 times. Those days are over.

I’m so much better at listening to my body now. I’ll lift lighter when I feel fatigued. I’ll adjust my hand placement or change my workout when a set doesn’t feel right. I’ll sacrifice lifting heavier for good form. That said, I still need to do a lot of self-talk to temper pushing hard with pushing smart.

And while I’m doing my best to lift safe and smart, I also want to push hard and make gains. I’ve got a few more years of gains to make, as long as I stay healthy.

The weakest link

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This is just me sharing some uncertainty and self-doubt. I’ve shared that in a couple weeks my buddy Dave and I are attempting a physical challenge of walking up a local hill 37 times in 2 days, which will be the equivalent of the hight of Mount Everest. You can search my blog for ‘Everest the Crunch’ to find out more. I’ve also mentioned that the distance travelled will be as far as 2 full marathons (up hill), and involve over 19 hours of walking over 2 days.

Here is something that I didn’t mention. Dave and I have both decided that if one of us can’t make it, the other person will not continue either. We aren’t doing this as some sort of badge of honour, we are doing this as a challenge… together. It was an idea born out of our finding a way to connect during Covid, and we value the opportunity to spend intentional (and healthy) time with a friend.

In fact, that’s why we also decided to raise money for men’s mental health. We recognize how important this time together has been for us. We also know that men usually don’t get together to have a coffee or even a beer and just chat… they usually need an event, be it a sports game, a barbecue, or a birthday… Or a walk or a hike. The act of doing something together becomes the reason to gather, and thus the opportunity to chat.

Dave and I have found this time invaluable. A fun fact about our walks, very early on we created a rule that we could only talk about work on the way up the hill, no ‘shop talk’ on the way down. So, we’ve had a lot of opportunity to talk about life, family, anything and everything; Time we would not have made if we were just meeting for a coffee, although very often we do meet for a coffee after our walks.

So, on August 21st and 22nd, with the support of family and friends, we will attempt to climb the Coquitlam Crunch 37 times. And we will do it together or we will fail together… and that’s where the idea of the weakest link comes in. So far, the most we’ve done in a day is 10 times up The Crunch. That’s just over 1/4 of what we have to do over 2 days. Today we did 5, and we probably won’t be doing more than 2 or maybe 3 in a day leading up to the challenge. Today felt really good and made me optimistic about our chances for success.

But… but it is clear to me that Dave is fitter than I am. His pace is slightly faster, and during the challenging 457 step segment my heart rate climbs a good 20+ beats a minute more than his. Dave knows I need to go slower than him and is very accommodating. I keep track of my heart rate to ensure that I’m not pushing too hard. But I feel like I’m the weakest link in our journey to 37 climbs. I feel like if WE are not successful it will be because of ME.

Dave is awesome, he would not begrudge me quitting. He knows that like him, I know how to push myself. We see it in each other in the weight room 5-6 times a week. He knows that if I can’t continue, I really can’t continue. I’m not worried about external judgement. I am worried that I’m the one that will let our team down.

Maybe it’s years of competitive sports. Maybe it’s just who I am, but the idea of me being the one that lets a team down is haunting. The idea that I could be the weakest link is painful.

The coach in me says, ‘Give it your all and be proud of what you can do.’

The competitor in me says, ‘Win at all cost, failure is not an option.’

Overall, my confidence is high, but I won’t lie, the idea of being the weakest link is unsettling.