Tag Archives: friends

Where does the time go?

Leave a reply

A few weeks ago I made some travel plan changes. I was planning to travel to Ontario today, but I called friends to let them know I was headed this way and one told me that they had a big party planned for last night, so I moved my plans to a day earlier and joined the celebrations.

I met these friends in 1986, when I went to university… 40 years ago. A few of the couple s there, and their kids, I’ve visited or reconnected with on and off over the years. They are truly awesome friends that I wish I lived closer to. But I moved to BC in ‘93 and visits have been sparse.

Also at the party were some of my friend’s friends whom I haven’t seen since moving. I was catching up with people I haven’t seen in more than 30 years. More grey hair and wrinkles, and whole families of kids to learn about, but still very much the same people.

An experience like last night really puts life in perspective. I’m left wondering how so much time could have passed? This will sound weird, but I wonder how ended up my parent’s age? I say that because the party included a live band, (a friend of the hosts who also met them 40 years ago), and as I looked at my generation and the next generation (my friend’s kids & their friends) dancing to Tragically Hip, the Rolling Stones, and even Led Zeppelin songs, I felt young again. I wasn’t a near 60 year old guy at a friend’s party, I was a kid at a backyard party. No adult supervision in sight.

Will feeling like I’m not old ever get old? Or am I going to forever wonder why I feel younger than I am… asking myself, ‘Where does the time go?’

Good People

1 Reply

We are in Nelson BC, where my wife grew up. While here we have connected with many of her friends from the past. Good people.

In October I’ll be travelling to Ontario to visit family and friends. Many of my friends date back to university days and even high school. Again, good people.

Despite the fact that we can stay connected online, geography matters when trying to stay connected with friends. While it’s fantastic to reconnect with wonderful people, it can feel a little unfortunate that we don’t see them more. Still, the reconnections have been (and will be) special. These are moments to appreciate. They are reminders of how lucky we are to have formed friendships we can always come back to.

St. Mark’s Summit

Leave a reply

I had the opportunity to join my buddy Dave and family for a hike up to St. Mark’s Summit from Cypress Mountain today. It’s a 10km hike that took us 2.5 hours plus a bit more time at the viewpoint. We met a raven, a few very brave chipmunks, and a few other hikers, but unlike a lot of more popular hikes, it was quite quiet on the trail.

I feel blessed to live in such a beautiful area. We really have some spectacular hikes, with beautiful scenery here on the west coast. It feels magical and reminds me that I have so much more to explore in my ‘back yard’. 

One… final… celebration

1 Reply

After what feels like more than enough attention on me, my wonderful wife has planned one more retirement celebration for me. This afternoon family and a few close friends will gather at our house to welcome me into the world of retirement.

As a last minute thing, my wife just had me staple this poster to our fence. Well, last minute for me, this was obviously planned. The adapted meme first showed up at my shared retirement with my buddy Dave, and I thought that was the end of it. Apparently not.

I truly feel blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people, and I think this is a Canada Day I’ll remember for years to come.

Proximity matters

Leave a reply

I got to see my sister and cousin this weekend. It was so nice to connect. My sister flew in, but my cousin lives 40 minutes to an hour away depending on the time of day I’m travelling there. It’s not far, and yet it is. I remember reading a stat that if you move just an hour away from someone you are likely to see that person more than 80% less than when they lived closer. My visits to my cousin would suggest that stat is higher.

I enjoy the company of him and his wife very much. Good people. Yet I barely see them. It takes my sister flying in to make it happen. Why? Busy lives. Time flies by and an hour drive is 2 hours travel when you also have to go home… well a little less because an evening drive is usually shorter, but still, it’s a lot of driving. It’s the end of April and the next time I’ll see my cousin is probably early July, when I have a gathering planned.

People have asked when I decide to downsize, where would I want to live? I might fantasize about living somewhere tropical but the reality is my wife and I won’t move that far from our kids, and also, we’d like to stay pretty close to where we are now. Why? Because we already don’t see our friends enough, and moving away will just make this harder. Finding time for friends and family is a lot easier when you’re close.

Proximity really matters.

Most valued

1 Reply

I spent the afternoon with my mom, her sister, my wife and my kids. My aunt had us in stitches. It was wonderful having a good belly laugh. My favourite line from my auntie. “I like living by myself. I’m fine to talk to myself, I don’t need anybody else. It’s only a problem if I hear voices talking back, other than that, I’m good.”

Before this, I spent most of the day with an old friend. I can’t travel back home to my mom and not find time to see my buddy.

It’s just wonderful to realize that what I value most are my family and friends. Give me this, and my health, and I really don’t need much else from this world.

I feel blessed.

The gatherings

Leave a reply

The events couldn’t be further apart with respect to the kinds of emotions felt, but as you get older it’s likely that the only times you meet for large gatherings are weddings and funerals. Celebrations of new beginnings and ultimate endings.

The one thing they have in common is bringing people together. Family and friends making the effort to travel long distances to share a common space with each other.

A chance to see once little people all grown up, and to see the age lines in those who are like you, starting to show the wear of time. A chance to catch up on the news of lives seen in bits and spurts. A chance to hug, to chat, to laugh, to cry.

A chance to be together, sporadically celebrating beginnings and endings.

Bad weather, good day

I dropped my car off at the designated location and my buddy picked me up, boat-in-tow. There was a light drizzle as we headed to Long Point on Lake Erie. When we arrived at the lake it was pouring rain. Fortunately the hard downpour didn’t last too long and settled back to a drizzle.

We fished along the outside of the retaining wall which served to protect the boat launch, not wanting to be too far away with a possible thunderstorm in the forecast. My buddy caught 3 small bass and I came up empty handed before we headed in for lunch.

We planned an early lunch to coincide with when the worst rain was scheduled according to our weather radar we had looked up on my phone. Sure enough the rain really picked up just as we were heading to the covered picnic area.

Then we ate delicious deli sandwiches as rain poured down. Like clockwork, the rain started to subside minutes after the radar map said the worst had passed, but it was possible it would continue to rain the rest of the day.

Still, we got back in the boat and headed out. We crossed the bay, knowing the worst of the rain was over and wanting to hit the shallow reeds we fished a couple years ago. Sure enough the fish started biting, and my friend was relieved that his guest was also able to catch some fish. And the rain stopped.

It would have been easy to let the rain discourage us. To cancel the trip, or to call it a day at lunchtime. But instead we decided to make the most of a very wet day. The reality is that we would have had a great day even if we didn’t catch fish… but I’d be lying if I said that catching 20+ fish between us didn’t make the day that much more special.

And that’s a wrap

My visit ‘home’ has come to an end. I had a wonderful time visiting with family and friends, and I achieved a lot. I sorted through the last of over 500 boxes of my dad’s files, and cleaned up my mom’s garage.

Last year working in the garage was almost all I did while here. This year I balanced the work with visits to friends and family. This year it really felt like a holiday. It helped that the majority of the work was done on my last trip, and yet it still took 7 trips to the dump with a packed RAV4 to clear out and recycle the last of his files.

I’ve kept 6 boxes of his work that I don’t know what I’m going to do with? This is his work that I know is innovative and brilliant, but who do I share it with? And how? My dad would have wanted it thrown away, but it would be sad to see the knowledge and insight he was able to achieve vanish.

But for tonight that is a question that will have to wait until another day, because I head home in the morning and this trip is a wrap.

— —

The accompanying image was taken with my mom after a walk earlier this evening.

The right tool for the job

Last weekend’s Coquitlam Crunch walk was cold. We were the only ones in the parking lot at 8:30am.

We walked about 1/3 the way up then we put on our grip-on cleats, and the cold air was a lot more difficult for me to tackle compared to the actual walking conditions. Still, we usually do the walk in 55 to 56 minutes and it took us 1 hour. A four minute difference.

Today was another story. It started the same with just us in the parking lot, but the lot was very slushy and slippery and so Dave and I put our over-shoe cleats on right away.

Walking conditions this time were much harder to tackle. One thing that added to the challenge was that we had to stop at least 10 times for Dave to adjust his cleats, which kept slipping off of his shoes. I don’t think Strava counted all the adjustment stops because when I stopped my timer it said 1 hour and 14 minutes, but it saved the time as 1 hour and 11 minutes.

That’s a significantly slower time due to the slippery, slushy conditions. We don’t mind, it wasn’t a race, and we love the opportunity to be together, get some exercise, and also feel the accomplishment of ‘just doing it’ even when conditions are less than favourable. But one thing that was quite clear was that my cleats provided a much better experience than Dave’s. In essence, my cleats were a tool that I used, but didn’t have to think about, didn’t have to manage. I put them on at the start, they did their job, and I took them off at the end. Dave’s cleats needed his attention. They took away from the flow of the experience… they interrupted our walk.

Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t a big deal, it didn’t ruin or walk or anything like that, they simply required our attention. On the way down Dave suggested that we think about a metaphor for the experience and the best one we came up with was, “Sometimes it’s worth getting a great tool instead of accepting and tolerating the use of a good tool.”

The cleats I own were just $21 on Amazon, and a few dollars more than the ones Dave has. The cost difference isn’t much, but the experience is so much better. Unfortunately after our walk last week, I forgot to share the link with Dave until yesterday, so he’ll get his by Monday and be ready for next week, but they didn’t come in time for today’s walk.

It’s a good lesson to think about though. Sometimes we just use a tool because it’s the one we have, the one we’ve always used, or the one that is easy to access, rather than seeking the best tool for the job. Sometimes it’s worth the time and research, and/or the extra cost, to get a tool that does the job extremely well… and reduce the challenges of using a less than ideal tool.

In the grand scheme of things, we’ll probably only need these cleats 1-3 more times this entire year, and if Dave stuck with his, it wouldn’t be a big deal. But there are things in our lives that we readily tolerate that could become ‘invisible’ and require less of our time, energy, focus, and attention… working seamlessly because we have found the right tool for the job.