Tag Archives: time

Still an excitement

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I’ve had zero regrets about choosing to retire. I was invited to visit my old schools on October 1st, and I stayed for about 3 hours. It was wonderful to connect with staff and students… and then I left.

No pangs. No doubt. No sorrow. And then I went to Ontario for 23 days. I had a very long October holiday, something I hadn’t done/couldn’t do in almost 30 years. It was wonderful.

Yesterday I spent a beautiful day on a boat with a friend. I ended up staying over at his place thanks to a flat tire. Today we had a workout when I’d normally be heading to work, then we had an in-depth conversation about education. I then came home and was looking for something I wrote on my blog. I followed a chain of posts that lead me to a post where Dean Shareski interviewed me for ‘The Canadian – Ed Leadership Show’. I listened to it while making dinner tonight.

The conversation this morning and listening to this discussion with Dean this evening made me realize just how much I’m still passionate about education. There’s more to think about, there’s more to write about and share … and now I have more time to do so.

The essence of flourishing

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I wrote a post recently, ‘I’m home’ where I said, “I’ve been retired for over three months and I don’t have a clue what a typical retirement day will look like? …That said, I do need to figure out some good routines. I know myself well enough that if I don’t have routines and systems in place, I can be very unproductive and ultimately unhappy. My extended summer was absolutely wonderful, it also wasn’t sustainable. It’s time to tune back into life at home…”

On LinkedIn Hannah Frostrand commented,

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” and “how will you fill your time when you’re retired?”.

Both feel like riding that miss the essence of flourishing…

I look forward to reading where you curiosity takes you, Dave!

I responded,

Hannah Flostrand ~ I love that you put those two questions together. For years leading up to retirement l’ve joked that I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up… yet, as you describe, that kind of misses the essence of the journey. I think it’s more about what do I want to ‘be’ rather than what I want to ‘do.

I think this might be a future Daily-Ink post:)

This is that post.

It has literally been for years that I’ve said, ‘I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up’. I’ve felt imposters syndrome, wondering how they let this kid run two and even three schools simultaneously, much less one? I’ve watched my hair begin to grey, still feeling like a kid who has stumbled into adulthood., parenthood, and a career with a lot of responsibility. And now I’m retired and I see that looking at my journey this way was making the journey smaller than it was.

I wasn’t a kid doing all of these things, I was (and am) those things. I really was missing the essence of the journey. That said, it’s not some profound difference, I don’t feel jilted for having the perspective I did… rather, seeing it now just allows me to feel freer about where I am now.

I’ve heard that some people struggle with retirement because what they did for work previously gave them meaning that was lost in retirement. I am happy, dare I say proud, with my past accomplishments. Whether I felt like a kid faking it as best as I could or not… I did good. But I don’t measure my worth to what has passed. Rather, I measure it to what I have become. I see the value in appreciation of the journey, to what got me here.

Like I said in my response to Hannah, “I think it’s more about what do I want to ‘be’ rather than what I want to ‘do.”

I want to be a good husband, parent, and friend. I want to be someone who still finds ways to contribute to the world around me. I want to spend time appreciating being present rather than scheduling time outside of a busy and exhausting schedule and being too tired to be present.

Last night I offered to pick my daughter up at the ferry late Sunday night, so that she could stay on the island to watch her cousin do a presentation and still get to school on Monday morning. Then I thought about it and decided that I’d go over to the island myself, take my daughter and her boyfriend out to lunch, watch the presentation with them, then take my daughter home that evening.

If I was working Monday morning, this would sound overwhelmingly exhausting. Now, I’ll do this and still meet my buddy for a 6am workout Monday morning, so he can get to work afterwards. Easy. If I’m tired, I’ll nap on Monday morning.

I get to be present for those around me in a way I never could before… that’s the essence of flourishing… and I like it!

Shared Experiences

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This was my first Thanksgiving that I spent away from my immediate family that I can remember. It’s not like Thanksgiving is a special holiday for us, but I’ve been away from my family for 22 of the last 30 days and so not being there for a family event was something I definitely noticed.

Meanwhile, for the past couple weeks I’ve had some amazing opportunities to connect with my mom, uncle, and family and friends I don’t normally see. It has been an absolute treat to spend time with them. So, it’s not like I’m missing out, I am just not used to being away from my wife and kids for so long.

What I’m noticing is how much I value shared experiences with people I care about. Time with family and friends is precious. The quality of our experiences are made richer by who we share our time with. This seems like something overly obvious to say, but I think it’s worth noting ‘out loud’… who we spend our time with really matters.

Preparation (and) Time

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It has been over 25 years since I did a hiking/camping trip where I had to pack everything I needed in a backpack. The good news is that there is a lot of lighter equipment now compared to back then. The tent I have now is about half the weight of the one I took years ago. The bad news is that I feel like a rookie and I know I’ve overpacked.

My buddy and I head to Tofino this weekend. Then on Wednesday we drop his van at the north end of the West Coast Trail and take a bus to the southern trailhead. We’ll spend a night at the trailhead before heading out on the 6 night, 75km trail.

Today was a prep day. I bought all my last minute supplies and started sorting food into daily rations. We did a preliminary 5km walk, with packs almost full, early this afternoon. Our packs are heavy, but manageable. I just need to make sure that now that I’ve got everything, it’s still all going to fit.

I’m not surprised how much prep is required, but it still feels like a lot when you are in the thick of it. The prep is worth it though, I’m looking forward to getting back to this trail after going 29 years ago. When I did it back then, it was with my in-laws, (before I married my wife), and my mother-in-law was my age now.

Something I think no one is prepared for is how quickly time flies when you get older. Prepared or not, I’m heading into my 59th birthday with an attitude that I’ve got a lot more life to live… and this camping trip is a perfect example of me trying to make the most of it.

I’ve got the time

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Yesterday evening my cousin texted me that his brother is in town. So today I changed my plans and am heading to visit them this afternoon. I know that seeing my visiting cousin will include beverages… and no way to drive home safely, so I’ve packed a bag and will plan to stay the night.

I also know that with my ‘Everest the Crunch’ event starting on Friday, I can’t have a late night like this later in the week. So I just changed my plans and made the visit tonight instead of on the coming days.

I love having the flexibility to make last minute decisions like this. I think that’s going to be one of the best parts of retirement. Sure I love my routines, and maintaining good habits, but I also enjoy letting loose on short notice. Knowing that I have the time to do this, not just in the summer but beyond, is a real gift I’m looking forward to!

So how are you going to fill your time?

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Since announcing my retirement I’ve heard different versions of the question, “So, what are you going to fill your time with?” at least a couple dozen times.

I guess that might be an issue for some, but not for me. I will fill my time. I will enjoy longer workouts. I will get more use out of my hot tub. I’ll write, and write, and write. I’ll edit videos. I’ll cook meals that take time to prepare. I’ll find more time to be outdoors.

I’ll be one of those people that complains about being more busy retired than when I worked.

My time will be filled.

Reverberations

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I’ve been thinking a lot recently about endings and closure. An endings can suggest a finality while closure has a more positive sense to it, like when you finish a puzzle.

This is a frame that really works for me… for the most part.

Yesterday I had a reminder about something that I had a different kind of closure around. The closure that comes with healing and forgiveness. There is the well known saying that ‘time heals all wounds’, but the lesser known counterpart to that is ‘time wounds all heals’. Sometimes healing comes with reverberations… tiny haunts that can surface in the real world, in the mind, or both.

This kind of closure isn’t the celebratory kind, it’s the kind that lets you move on, hopefully with a previously unknown strength. The reverberations are just a reminder that there wasn’t an ending, but rather an acceptance, a sense of moving on.

The challenge with reverberations such as this is that they are often out of your control. Guitar strings starting to vibrate as a tuning fork is brought close to them do not choose to vibrate. And so it is with reverberations long after what you thought was closure.

Do reverberations upset the healing, or are they part of healing? I don’t have an answer to that question. Is it better to metaphorically feel the full vibrations or push the tuning fork away? I don’t have an answer for this question either. Time will heal, until the next reverberation and then time will wound again… hopefully with a dullness that allows for greater closure when the vibrations settle down.

Time gaps

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I saw a social media post that was addressed to Gen X. It shared that:

The movie ‘Stand By Me’ came out in 1986 and it was about life in 1959. If ‘Stand By Me’ was made now, in 2026, it would be about life in 1999.

What??? That seems crazy to me. They would both about life 27 years before, but the gap from ‘59 to ‘86 seems so much greater in contrast compared to ‘99 to 2026. I couldn’t imagine someone trying to write a script about the nostalgic times of ‘99. Other than the panic around Y2K, what would the young friends in the movie experience ‘back then’ that would differentiate them from now, except maybe smart phones?

Is it only my lived experience that makes me think this way. Would someone my age back in 1986 feel about 1959 the same way I feel about 1999? I’m not sure, but I’d say ‘No’. The time gap of the movie seems so much longer than it would if we went back from today.

Observing time

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Yesterday’s post, ‘Let’s Do the Time Warp Again’ is still messing with my head a bit. The idea of the Andromeda paradox suggests that if we are in motion compared to another bystander, our view of very distant events can be days apart.

I understood relativity with respect to travel, a twin in a spaceship travelling close to the speed of light goes to a distant galaxy. When he comes back to earth a few years later he would be younger than the twin left behind… demonstrating the relativity of time. But the idea that distant events can ‘happen’ at different times for people witnessing it from almost the same spot, simply because of their relative motion to each other is perplexing.

So then I suggested that we could re-witness an event by changing our motion such that we are moving quickly away from a very, very distant event, so that from that relative perspective the event hadn’t happened yet. I’m no physicist, the distances would have to be huge, and I don’t know what speeds would need to be achieved, but it seems pretty conceivable to me.

What’s messing with my head is that if this is possible, what does ‘now’ mean?

We have to wait 8 minutes for the sun’s light to reach us. When it reaches us, the sun is already 8 minutes older. We don’t see the sun now, we see its history. Our concept of now has a perpetual lag.

This then got me thinking about animals and their reaction times. Have you ever seen a video of a cat toying with a snake? A cat can avoid the bite of a snake, always reacting faster than we would be able to. How does a cat perceive ‘now’ differently than us?

How do birds fly in a murmuration? The flock changes direction in waves, so quickly that they can stay in formation despite hundreds of them having to coordinate with each other. How does a bird in a murmur perceive ‘now’ differently than us?

To a ten year old, 5 years is half a lifetime, to me it’s less than 1/11th of my life. Is it any wonder that as we get older, time seems to go by faster?

Like I said, these ideas are messing a bit with my head. They make me wonder what ‘now’ means and if in reality we share a ‘now’ with anyone? Is the mere act of observing ‘now’ just a relative glance of varying histories? And yet the only thing any of us ever experience beyond our memories and imagination… is now.

Let’s Do the Time Warp Again

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“It’s just a jump to the left… it’s a jump to the ri-ight🎵”

…And that’s all it takes to witness two completely different views of what ‘right now’ means:

“The Andromeda paradox, proposed by physicist Roger Penrose, is a thought experiment in relativity that highlights how simultaneity depends on an observer’s motion. It imagines two people walking past each other on Earth: one toward the Andromeda galaxy and one away. Because of special relativity, the plane of simultaneity for each observer tilts slightly, meaning that the events they consider “happening right now” in Andromeda could differ by entire days. This illustrates that what is considered the present in distant regions of space is relative to an observer’s motion.” (ChatGPT)

Here is my thought experiment based on the Andromeda paradox:

If we were to witness a supernova of a star hundreds of light years away, could we send a rocket hurling at a high speed away from that event and capture the event happening again? Could we re-witness the supernova, a past event that happened many years ago, but from farther away? Would it be possible that from that perspective the event has not been witnessed yet, and so we can ‘get ahead of it’ focus our cameras on it, and wait for it to happen again, just for the first time from that relative perspective?

My head hurts a bit trying to make sense of this, but my hunch is that it would be possible. So instead of the Andromeda paradox, it’s more like the Andromeda mirror, bouncing back the same light but at a slightly later time than the present… which already is what a mirror does.