This is just me sharing some uncertainty and self-doubt. I’ve shared that in a couple weeks my buddy Dave and I are attempting a physical challenge of walking up a local hill 37 times in 2 days, which will be the equivalent of the hight of Mount Everest. You can search my blog for ‘Everest the Crunch’ to find out more. I’ve also mentioned that the distance travelled will be as far as 2 full marathons (up hill), and involve over 19 hours of walking over 2 days.

Here is something that I didn’t mention. Dave and I have both decided that if one of us can’t make it, the other person will not continue either. We aren’t doing this as some sort of badge of honour, we are doing this as a challenge… together. It was an idea born out of our finding a way to connect during Covid, and we value the opportunity to spend intentional (and healthy) time with a friend.

In fact, that’s why we also decided to raise money for men’s mental health. We recognize how important this time together has been for us. We also know that men usually don’t get together to have a coffee or even a beer and just chat… they usually need an event, be it a sports game, a barbecue, or a birthday… Or a walk or a hike. The act of doing something together becomes the reason to gather, and thus the opportunity to chat.

Dave and I have found this time invaluable. A fun fact about our walks, very early on we created a rule that we could only talk about work on the way up the hill, no ‘shop talk’ on the way down. So, we’ve had a lot of opportunity to talk about life, family, anything and everything; Time we would not have made if we were just meeting for a coffee, although very often we do meet for a coffee after our walks.

So, on August 21st and 22nd, with the support of family and friends, we will attempt to climb the Coquitlam Crunch 37 times. And we will do it together or we will fail together… and that’s where the idea of the weakest link comes in. So far, the most we’ve done in a day is 10 times up The Crunch. That’s just over 1/4 of what we have to do over 2 days. Today we did 5, and we probably won’t be doing more than 2 or maybe 3 in a day leading up to the challenge. Today felt really good and made me optimistic about our chances for success.

But… but it is clear to me that Dave is fitter than I am. His pace is slightly faster, and during the challenging 457 step segment my heart rate climbs a good 20+ beats a minute more than his. Dave knows I need to go slower than him and is very accommodating. I keep track of my heart rate to ensure that I’m not pushing too hard. But I feel like I’m the weakest link in our journey to 37 climbs. I feel like if WE are not successful it will be because of ME.

Dave is awesome, he would not begrudge me quitting. He knows that like him, I know how to push myself. We see it in each other in the weight room 5-6 times a week. He knows that if I can’t continue, I really can’t continue. I’m not worried about external judgement. I am worried that I’m the one that will let our team down.

Maybe it’s years of competitive sports. Maybe it’s just who I am, but the idea of me being the one that lets a team down is haunting. The idea that I could be the weakest link is painful.

The coach in me says, ‘Give it your all and be proud of what you can do.’

The competitor in me says, ‘Win at all cost, failure is not an option.’

Overall, my confidence is high, but I won’t lie, the idea of being the weakest link is unsettling.