Tag Archives: commitment

It can be a struggle

Committing to writing every day is a challenge. I’ve added to that the pressure to publish what I write… Every. Single. Day.

It is a comfort to know that it doesn’t have to be great. That my audience is small, and that sometimes I can write something I think is great and no one else notices… And sometimes something I wrote just off the cuff resonates with people. I find that fascinating.

Still, there are times I am stuck, have writer’s block, and yet feel immense pressure to be thoughtful and creative. It’s a real struggle. I can develop self-doubt and question myself. I wonder what’s so unique about my perspective that I should have so much to say? I feel like an imposter, spewing ramblings that aren’t worth sharing. Sometimes I just can’t think of anything to write. Nothing comes to me except the dread that I’ve got nothing else of any value to say.

Then I remember something. I remember that if it was really easy, I would have gotten bored and given up by now. I remember that I love to write and before writing daily, I seldom wrote at all, despite my desire to do so. I recognize that though the struggle is real, it’s a struggle I desire to have.

And then some days the words just flow. Other days they start slow and the flood gates open and I can’t type fast enough. And so the days that it’s really hard, the days when I feel that I have nothing of value to say, those are the days that matter most.

The hard days are the ones that provide me with the consist opportunity to write. The struggle is real, and necessary, and even enjoyable. Well, enjoyable may not be the right term, but more enjoyable than tolerable. The hard days are hard, but rewarding… that’s the better term. The days I struggle create the space for the great days.

The hard days are a necessary part of a routine that opens up a river of ideas to let creativity, thoughtfulness, and self expression flow in. The hard days can feel like a dam, but a dam allows for consistency of pressure, allowing for the generation of energy, of ideas, of words flowing regularly. The daily commitment is not to produce great work, it’s to produce work consistently, without excuses. Not without struggle, but despite it… Because of it. Yes, it’s a struggle, but a struggle I need to experience if I’m going to continue to create; continue to craft; continue to write. Every. Single. Day.

This, on a day when I thought I had absolutely nothing more to say.

Sneaking it in

It’s 11pm and I just realized that I haven’t written my Daily Ink yet. I blame the holidays. I sat to write this and my wife asked if we could go for a walk. So I gladly went for a walk with her and then I forgot! I don’t think that I’ve missed a day since I started writing daily in July 2019, but maybe there was a day like this that I just don’t remember? I’ll probably never know because I’m not going to count, and I have (occasional) posts on here dating back to 2009, so total posts won’t help me, I’d have to count one-by-one or month-by-month.

But my point here is that I can’t let a day slip by when I am aware and still have time to write. I don’t have to write every day, I want to write every day! I want to make the commitment and I want to follow through. How upset will I be if I do miss a day? Not terribly… I’ll just write the next day and keep going. On the other hand, thinking ‘it’s too late’, when there is still time in the day is a cop-out.

All that said, some days are really tough. I sit with a blank page and nothing comes to mind. I start a post, then something sounds/seems familiar, so I do a search and see that I’ve already written something similar. Or I start something and just don’t like it. Days like these, I remind myself that it’s hard to be truly original. I remind myself that not everything I write will be good, much less great. But I will write, and I will publish, and I’ll do it daily. My blog description says it all:

Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.

Let down

Yesterday I made a decision not to run an online blended program we’ve run for 6 years. It’s a great course but we couldn’t get the attendance to fill it enough the last couple years. The course required the work of a not-for-profit organization organizing community presentations, and they too struggled with supporting our course with such low numbers.

It’s such a let down to take away something good from our roster of courses we offer. It feels worse because I think I could have done more to promote the course and get more students interested. But sometimes it’s important to recognize what your own personal limits are and not chase after something that requires too much work and energy. Schools already offer a version of this class and it’s hard to promote students taking an online and blended class where students need to go to another school to meet. The struggle to get students interested and enrolled was just too high.

And yet I feel disappointed. I feel I’ve let down people. I feel that I’m the reason we failed to fill the course. I think out of everyone, I let down myself the most. On the one hand I absolutely know I could have done more. On the other hand I feel like this wasn’t a year that I could have put more into anything. This doesn’t soften the disappointment much, but it reminds me that I’m better off giving less things 100% effort than spreading myself thin and giving everything 75% or less.

That’s the lesson, but it still stings.

Master the art of showing up

The biggest change I’ve made to taking care of myself in the past few years is this:

“When determining the size or complexity of a new habit ask yourself, “What can I stick to—even on my worst day?”

Start there. Master the art of showing up. Then advance.” ~ James Clear

I’m not in the mood to work out today, but I’ll go get on my row machine for 10 minutes. That would be it, but I’m also going to run the weight club this morning and I’ll do a bit of weights. Then one of our students ends the session leading us through 15 minutes of yoga.

I could skip the row machine, I’ve got an excuse, I’m doing weight club. But how hard is it to do 10 minutes on the row machine listening to my audiobook? It’s faster than 20 minutes on the bicycle or treadmill. These are the minimums I allow myself. I know I can do these things even when I don’t want to. I know that I don’t have to go all out, I just have to put in the time. That’s what I can do on my worst day… I can go through the motions for 10 or 20 minutes.

Sometimes that’s all I really do… go through the motions. But more often than not, after planning to do just the minimum, I end up pushing myself just a little harder than expected. The plan is to show up, but I do more. That’s what happens when you master the art of showing up.

So just show up, and maybe you’ll do more. You just need to commit to showing up and doing the minimum, and being ok with when that’s all you do. Be happy with this low bar on your low days… and you’ll be amazed how often you achieve more.

Just do it… just show up!

Just show up

I shared this in an email home to parents recently:

While I know this has been a challenging year for many students and families, I think it’s important this time of year, as we head into a report card next week, to remind families of how important attendance is at our school. Students with significant absences tend to fall into a very unhealthy loop that includes:
Falling behind in work; Telling parents they work better at home, but missing key instructions to help them at home; Not getting the support they need; Not feeling good about being behind and finding reasons to avoid school.

Ultimately, we can’t help students that aren’t here at school, and the best ‘medicine’ for a student with too many absences is a dedication to getting to school as long as health conditions don’t prevent it. This isn’t a problem we can find a solution for without parent support. Please contact us if you’d like to discuss attendance further. I, or one of our team, will be contacting some of you after report cards go out.

—-

Report cards have now gone out and I will be calling a few parents to talk about concerns we have around poor attendance.

We live in a society now where there is so much pressure to do well; to be your best; to shine. It’s not easy. But sometimes the message doesn’t have to be ‘you are awesome’, ‘you have so much potential’, or ‘push yourself’. Sometimes the message of ‘just show up’ is all we need to hear.

  • Don’t plan an hour workout, just show up at the gym.
  • Don’t worry about how much you have to do, just start.
  • Don’t create a huge ‘to do’ list, pick 2-3 things you know you can get done and check those off… even if showing up is one of those things!

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than thinking your way into a new way of acting. ~Richard Pascale

Just show up!