Tag Archives: routines

Being vs Doing

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I was listening to a guided meditation, and it mentioned that how we live in the world is more focused on doing rather than being.

This made me think about the multitude of tasks we do on autopilot, and how we aren’t always fully present when we do them. It made me think about my work day and how much of it is spent focused on tasks, and not at all on the experience.

Doing is an external experience focused on productivity and achievement. Being is intrinsic, it emphasizes awareness, mindfulness, and the value of life. Doing is all about chasing goals and getting stuff done, it’s what moves us ahead and lets us make things happen. But being… That’s about soaking in the moment, really living it up, and savoring life’s journey as it happens.

This isn’t an either/or thing, but I feel like we, I feel like I, could benefit from being more… More present, more aware, more in the moment. Whole days can go by where I’m task oriented, focused on what needs to be done, and not aware or appreciative of my experience. It’s really about valuing the life we have as it unfolds, rather than just checking off boxes of tasks and achievements mindlessly.

If we are too busy only doing, are we allowing ourselves the opportunity to value and appreciate this wonderful life we are living? Are we living at all, or just moving from task to task, like mindless robots. I laugh a lot more when I’m being and not just doing. I connect with people more meaningfully. I find joy in the tasks that I do. Being is an awareness that sits above the things we do, and it changes a life of activity for the sake of activity, to one where we can find meaning, and joy, throughout our day, and on days yet to come.

Habit versus motivation

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It’s so blatantly clear to me now how good habits require less motivation. On any given week day I wake up and I just start my routine: Wordle -> blog post -> mediation -> cardio -> stretch -> strength set -> shower. My habits are stacked, and I just have to start solving the daily Wordle puzzle and the rest of my routine effortlessly falls into place. No thinking, no effort, no motivation needed.

But I do things differently on weekends and here I am at 5:30pm writing my blog post, and I am needing to motivate myself to get anything else done. Motivation is hard. Stacked habits are easy.

Now, I just need to figure out how to stack these things on my weekends, because starting this routine when I should be thinking about dinner sucks.

Alarm set for a bedtime meditation, and off to the treadmill I go.

Maintain and Sustain

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If you asked me, before today, I’d say that I was slumping with respect to my daily workouts. But what does that really mean? For many, slumping would mean that I’ve ‘fallen off the wagon’, or that I’ve stopped my habits and routines and need to get back into them. That’s not the case. I’ve only missed 2 workouts out of the first 32 days of 2024. That’s not a slump, that’s a great habit. One of those 2 days was a choice, the other was an unexpected day trip to the island, and I was either with people or traveling from 6:15am to after 11pm. So why was I thinking I was slumping?

Well, even though I’ve been pushing myself on my daily 20 minute cardio, my weights workouts have been tough. I tend to only do one muscle group every day, and so it’s not like I’m in my home gym for a long time. I’m usually in and out in less than 45 minutes, including my cardio and 10 minutes of stretching. So, basically I’m talking about 3 sets of 1 exercise, sometimes a bit more, but not much more. And this one part of my workout has been, well, ‘slumpy’. Normally I can get to my last few reps and really push hard. I can focus and push and grunt my way past the mental pressure to stop, and eek out reps that are unpleasant but very beneficial for growth and/or increases in strength. Recently I just don’t have what it takes to get those last few reps out, and I stop when I should be pushing through… that’s my slump, and it has been a challenge since the Christmas holidays.

The reframe for this, after talking to my buddy after our Saturday morning Crunch walk,  is that this is not a slump. He framed it as ‘the space between’. That didn’t work for me, because I think of those between spaces as sacred times that are productive. Still, I understood the message he was sharing, that I was beating myself up about not making gains, when I was still committed and showing up! I’m not running a sprint, I’m working on perseverance and the long game, and so 30/32 days so far this year is better than the start of any year so far. That’s not a slump.

We live our lives with expectations of always improving. The whole 1% better every day, fake it ’till you make it, push, persevere, strive, and even ‘try-try again’, are all messages that we have to keep going and we have to be better than we were yesterday. These make for wonderful quotes on posters, but the expectation is unrealistic. What about the spaces in between the 1% improvements? What happens there really matters. Are we maintaining and sustaining our previous gains or are we slumping and letting things slide?

I’m not slumping, I’m just not making fast gains. I’m maintaining my positive habits, I’m sustaining my routine so that when I’m both physically and mentally ready I can and will be able to make small, incremental improvements. I’ll repeat that for emphasis: small, incremental improvements. I’m no longer that guy that went on holidays in March of 2018 and couldn’t see the strings on my bathing suit because of my belly paunch. I look better at 56 than I did at 36, (well maybe not my hairline, but everything else).

Right now I can’t seem to get that extra push at the end of my workout sets… the sets I do almost every single day, even when I don’t want to do them. I’m not slumping, I’m just in between gains, I am maintaining and sustaining awesome habits and more improvements are in my future. The more I let go of the expectations, while keeping the positive habits, the happier and healthier I’ll be!

Uncertainty and doubt

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I had a dream last night. In it someone I care about was asking my why I even bother writing my daily blog? She called it boring and a waste of time. In all honesty, this being said in my dream bugged me more than if the person in my dream actually said it in person. It bothered me because I am the author of my dreams, not the people I see in them.

So essentially I was casting doubt on myself. That’s harsh.

Why bother? Why make the effort? Who do I think I am, that anyone would care to read what I have to say? These are the internal voices of uncertainty and doubt. These are questions that tear me down rather than build me up.

These are the pangs that prevent people from sharing their ideas, their writing, their art, their creative expression, and even their love.

“I’m not good enough.”

“Other people are so much better.”

“I’m not creative enough.”

“I have nothing of value to say.”

It’s easier to silence the naysayers than it is to silence your own inner voice. I can handle all kinds of feedback. I can learn from the harshest of criticism. A perfect example is an angry, yelling coach never upset me, I just took the feedback.

But that inside voice… that nagging self-doubt, that self-uncertainty, that is something I do not always battle well with. It holds me back. It keeps me from speaking up, from stepping up, from confidently sharing my thoughts and opinions.

Why is it that the internal battles we face are so much harder than the outside ones?

What helps me is consistency. It’s developing habits where I can push through the uncertainty and doubt. It’s creating small accomplishments that lead me to successful outcomes. No, I’m not going to be the athlete I was in my 20’s ever again… but I’m fitter now than I ever was in my 30’s and 40’s, and I suffer less back pain than I did in my 20’s. Oh, and no one workout got me where I am today.

In fact it wasn’t the good workouts that got me here, it was the days that I didn’t want to work out, the times I had to talk myself into just going through the motions that made me get to this point. I’m floundering a bit right now with working out, but I still get my butt on my stationary bike or treadmill every day. I still don’t let myself miss 2 days in a row, and rarely let myself miss 3 days in a week.

Some days I might hit the publish button on my blog and think ‘that’s not a great post’. But I still hit the button, I still make the effort. I still read over my work and try to edit it. And I still get mad at myself when I see a typo or wrong word published. The same critic that tries to stop me can also be my friend. It doesn’t just shut me down, it adds an element of high expectations towards all my final work.

And that’s why my dream this morning hurt me a bit. It was my inner voice being a gremlin, trying to find fault with myself, my work, my creativity. Uncertainty and doubt are not usually our friends, they are the bedfellows of procrastination and excuses. They are the enemies of confidence and productivity. And while they may lay dormant for a while, they can creep up on us when we least expect it. Like in our dreams…

But I’m awake now. It’s time to hit the publish button. It’s time to get on the treadmill. There is work to be done and I’ll just tuck the uncertainty and doubt away.

(Re)stacking habits

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I used to wake up, write a blog post, meditate for 10 minutes, and work out, all before getting in the shower around 6:45-7am. I used the Atomic Habits strategy of stacking my habits one-after-the-other so that I reduced a lot of friction in my mornings. I’d start writing and the rest of the stacked habits just happened one after the other.

A couple things happened to change this. I have been spending more time writing, stopped meditating, and started spending more time stretching. However, it was the writing time that was the big change since both the meditation and stretching were both 10 minutes long. What I’ve noticed is that my workouts and stretching are getting shorter.

So, I need to unstack my current habits. I need to write most or all of my posts at night, then I can start my morning with meditation, cardio, stretch, then a strength routine dedicated to one or two muscles, which is my usual routine. Essentially I’m not really unstacking my habits, I’m re-stacking them in a way that they give me the outcomes I want without compromising any of them at the expense of others… I just changed the title of this post from ‘Unstacking habits’ to ‘(Re)stacking habits’… Because stacking works, but it needs to work for all the habits, not just some of them.

As a good friend said, I won’t know how well this works until I try it for at least a couple weeks, because a few days aren’t long enough for a pattern to be formed, for a habit to truly become a habit. Let’s see how this goes. If I remember, I’ll give a progress report some time later this month.

Do it well

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How long will it take… to do it well?

What resources do you need… to do it well?

Who can help you… to do it well?

What can you put off… so that you do it well?

Some jobs just need to get done, others should only be done if they are done well. The work is rewarded with a job well done. So give it the time, put in the resources, get the support you need, and put forward an honest, concerted effort… to do it well.

Hard to build routines back

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I should have written this an hour ago. I was up, but I kept myself distracted. I should have worked out already, but I haven’t started. I’m probably going to do my meditation on my exercise bike to reclaim some time.

It doesn’t really matter today, because I can stroll into work at 8:30am and still spend a full day there. Only my secretaries will be in the building and my first meeting is at 11am. So it’s not like this wasted time hurt my schedule. But it hurts.

It hurts because it’s going to take a while before my routine is automated again. It hurts because it’s me pushing off things that are good for me. If this was next week, I’d have to skip my workout right now.

However the nice thing is that it’s not next week. It’s not like I have to scramble or miss anything. I’m just acknowledging that routines take time to develop and redevelop. It’s not easy leaving my routines for a full summer then jumping right back into them. But once I get my routine going again it feeds itself.

I feel the benefits of getting a whole list of things done for myself before I even start my workday. Writing, meditating, stretching, and working out, all done before I even shower to start my day. The only hard part is now, it’s when the pattern isn’t set and I actually have to make an effort to do it. By early next week it will just be what I do when I wake up: Routine initiated.

Today it was a slog.

Back to the routine

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After 6 weeks holidays, I’m back to work today. While work creeped into these holidays a fair bit, it was the most ‘off’ I’ve been in years… and quite frankly I needed it. I spent over a month of this break away from home, and it’s nice to be back in my own bed.

I feel refreshed and ready for the new school year. The long hours don’t start until September, and so I can get acclimatized over the next couple weeks. This starts today with my writing, meditation, exercise, and stretching first thing in the morning.

I’m someone who both dislikes and requires good routines. I dislike them because they make the days seem a bit robotic, like I’m just going through the motions. I require (and even like) them because I can get a lot done and feel accomplished.

This holiday started really strong with maintaining my routines but my Toronto trip home was quite disruptive. I was stuck on Vancouver time, staying up until well after midnight in Toronto, but still waking up early. I moved a lot of boxes, but didn’t do any cardio, and I don’t think I meditated more than once in 11 days. I accomplished a lot helping my mom, but really broke my routine and ate too much.

But then again, I was on holidays, and had a wonderful time. I got to spend a lot of time with my wife, and a bit of time with my kids too. I think as school starts, I need to build time in with them as part of my routine as well. It’s easy to put in long hours and not make time for family… not on purpose, just by nature of the job.

Routines can help to regulate things that can normally be neglected. My morning routine lets me feel like I’ve accomplished something for myself before I start my job in the service of others. I think the next step is to routinize some quality time with family, or before I know it the school year is over and work was the only priority after my morning routine.

Afternoon nap

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I just woke up from a 2+ hour nap. I didn’t sleep well last night, but now I’m in jeopardy of a repeat, because I won’t be able to fall asleep until after midnight. I remember reading that an ideal nap time is about 20 minutes. This gives you the rest you need, without over-doing it. I really over-did it!

I wish they I lived in a country that had siesta times. I love late nights, I love early mornings. If I were to design my own schedule, I’d go to bed after midnight, sleep until 5:30, and have a 1-2 hour nap starting at 2pm. Unfortunately, that schedule would be awful for my wife, so I don’t think I’ll adopt it even after retiring.

Maybe with this lengthy nap, I’ll give that schedule a test run for tonight, and be back on a ‘normal’ schedule tomorrow. 7 hours is about my ideal length of sleep each night, 9 hours leads to a headache. I wonder if my idea of an ideal schedule is only that… an idea, and really I should just stick to 7 hours a night and maybe 20 minute naps on weekends.

2 hours is just a bit unrealistic, and probably going to mess me up. What’s your ideal nap time?

June fatigue

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I’m tired. My routines are a mess. I’m playing constant catch-up rather than being on top of things. That’s June in a nutshell. So much to do, so little time.

The good news is that we have grad tomorrow. And while it’s going to be a 12+ hour work day, it’s also going to end on a really positive note. So, as I lay in bed writing something I usually write 16 hours earlier, (if I was on a regular routine), I am thinking about how I can revitalize my routines and and make June a little less crazy.

Routines and positive habits are self-fulfilling. They add energy to the system rather than drain them. And on that note, I need to get off my screen and get enough sleep for a big day. If you see another post in about 8 hours, that’s a good sign that I good to bed and am back on track. Two things that help with June fatigue are my regular routines, and at least 7 hours of sleep. June is now 66.6% done… only 1/3 more to go!