Monthly Archives: December 2020

Insomnia strikes again

I tried exercising before bed yesterday to help combat it. Found myself eating an hour later and still up well past midnight.

I don’t know what’s different right now? I can see the holidays ahead. I feel things are going as well as can be at home and work. I am feeling fit. I see positive news about a vaccine coming months sooner than I would have predicted. So what’s keeping me up?

I wouldn’t mind so much if it was creative time, but it isn’t. It’s unproductive time that I can’t concentrate on anything I would really want to do with more awake time. And it makes me feel more unproductive during the rest of the day, when I feel not tired, but slow.

Meditation is all but useless because I can’t stop my mind from racing long enough to actually meditate. I’m scattered and not doing more than putting myself through the (attempted mental) motions. My mind is too noisy to be still. Too restless to be useful. Too sleep deprived to be productive.

Reading this, I make it sound a lot worse than it is. I’m still functioning well enough that I can get things done. I feel like a six cylinder engine running on four cylinders… Still running, still capable of getting me where I need to go… just not at full capacity.

I think I’ll really try and stay away from my phone and laptop this weekend, other than listening to a novel. I think I need to stop distracting my distracted and sleep deprived mind with a screen. But even as I say this, I know it will be tough because I don’t enjoy it when my insomnia brain has nothing to be distracted by, but it can’t be productive.

Meanwhile, it’s still Friday and I need to focus on a good day at work ahead. I’ll exercise earlier than last night (couldn’t wake up early enough for my morning routine)… and hopefully early to sleep tonight.

Failure is a frame of mind, not an outcome

I’ve written a lot about learning and failure. In a post titled, Learning Through Failure vs Failing to Learn, I said,

“When we talk about learning from failure, we are not actually talking about failure, we are talking about perseverance, and resilience, and tenacity. We are talking about coming up to resistance and unplanned outcomes and working through them to achieve a goal. We are talking about students learning significantly more than if everything went their way.“

Listening to many students at Inquiry Hub, you hear them talk about this in an amazing way. They share the very ethos behind this idea:

For anyone that didn’t bother to watch these two short clips, here is what Thia said in the second one,

“Inquiry projects aren’t about always being successful. It’s about trying something new, learning new skills, creating something. It isn’t always about being the best at it, or succeeding in it. You might have a failed inquiry, and that’s completely ok. It doesn’t always have to be a success for it to be a good quality project. It’s all about the process.”

What’s interesting is that if you don’t understand this idea, it sounds like accepting failure is ‘OK’. If you don’t recognize that students are talking about putting themselves ‘out there’ and trying something beyond their comfort zone, then it sounds like they are giving themselves a participation badge for just showing up. But if you truly understand and embrace the idea of learning through failure, you aren’t talking about failure at all.

Elon Musk just had a rocket explode upon landing and called it a success because of the data they collected.


I’m sure there are people who get this. I’m also sure there are people who laugh, “Ha, you call that a success? What a loser.”

A real loser is one who doesn’t try. A real loser is one who gets an outcome they don’t want and quits. A real loser is someone that makes excuses rather than steps up to make things right.

People who do epic things, and people who try epic things and don’t succeed, understand that failure is a frame of mind, not an outcome. They understand that learning is a journey, not a destination.

Stop pig wrestling

Like my Papa used to say, “Never wrestle a pig, you both get dirty but the big likes it.”

I’ve shared that quote before and also said, ‘Bad ideas get unwarranted publicity when the battles get messy… and the weak-minded get fuel to oppose good ideas when those with the good ideas act in bad faith. You do not have to ‘turn the other cheek’ but you do have to act in a way that is decent and good, if you want to fight for things that are decent and good.‘

Recently, across many social media platforms, I’ve seen people using the strategy of sharing hurtful, mean, and ignorant comments from internet trolls, and doing one of two things: 1. Calling out the person for being mean (or essentially saying ‘ouch’ or ‘look at this idiot’). Or, 2. Sharing it to launch an attack.

While I get why, and understand that sharing like this can garner sympathy, or feel like a way to vindicate yourself, or attack the attacker… this is a bad idea! It’s pig wrestling.

These people aren’t worth your time. They don’t deserve you, or those who follow you on these platforms, as an audience. Don’t surrender your time and energy to them. They. Aren’t. Worth. It!

Delete the comment, block the idiot.

Let me say that again: You get a rude/mean/nasty comment on a social media post, so what do you do?

1. DELETE 2. BLOCK.

… and move on. They don’t deserve your time; they don’t deserve your attention; they don’t deserve your mental energy. So why give it to them? Why allow them more time in your thoughts than they deserve?

They are pigs. Don’t let them get you dirty just because they like to get dirty. And hey, I get that it’s hard to turn the other cheek sometimes, and if they threaten you in some way, then sure, take it seriously. But most internet trolls are playing a game, they are purposefully trying to engage and enrage you. To steal your time and attention, and to hurt your feelings. The act of mud wrestling with these losers helps them win.

You want to strike back at these mean people making mean comments? Diffuse their energy by not giving them any of yours: Delete. Block. And move on to spend time and energy on people that are better than them.

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Addendum: I’m not suggesting you delete and block people just because they disagree with you, this is only about comments with malice intent. We don’t learn from them but we can learn from people who disagree with us.

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I wrote this a decade ago:

I remember watching The Razor’s Edge years ago. Bill Murray plays Larry Darrell a taxi driver ‘in search of himself’ who at one point serves as an ambulance driver in World War II. His partner/co-attendant Piedmont is a sour man that is bitter and unpleasant.

If memory serves me correctly there are also two wonderfully optimistic, volunteer, British ambulance drivers that work with Larry and Piedmont. In a scene, these two happy-go-lucky ambulance attendants have engine trouble as they attempt to bring injured soldiers to safety while under fire. Stalled, the Brits attempt to repair their ambulance while enemy fire pinpoints their stationary location. Bombs get closer and closer until they blow up the ambulance, killing these two men. Larry is distraught and the bitter Piedmont says a few kind words about how nice these two were and then says, to Larry’s disgust, “They will be forgotten.”

Later, Piedmont is killed (I don’t remember how), and in a monologue Larry talks of this unruly, unkind and cantankerous man and then says, “He will be remembered.”

I was still a teenager when I saw this movie but it has a powerful lasting affect on me. I realized then and there that we tend to pay far more attention to people and things that are negative and annoy us than on the things we should be happy and appreciative about. I’d like to think that this is learned and not human nature. We don’t have to focus on the negative, and we are better people when we don’t.

Shifting Dreams

I’ve already shared that I almost never dream of people that are currently in my life, dreams for me usually include people I have not seen in a while. That has shifted a bit recently. So has the number of dreams I seem to recall. I am waking up regularly during the night with a full dream in my head.

They are ridiculous. One of them last night included me being a twin double agent that was subjected to a life-altering test administered by a rogue lizard-man. This beast was an escaped prisoner that we were not allowed to catch, and when we found him we just had to surrender to being hit with spray from a water gun that had dangerous chemicals in it.

Another dream last night turned into a covid dream… I went to visit the archery range, without my bow, and one of the volunteers talked me into shooting guns with them since archery was cancelled. He loaned me a gun, had me sign a waiver (that I didn’t have to read) then took me to a signup building that ended up being an indoor shooting range. Only after being packed into this thing with dozens of people did I realize that I was in a crowded room of anti-maskers, with a sick kid coughing next to me. Stressful. And bizarrely stupid.

When I was in university, I went through a phase of really vivid dreams and I trained myself to make them lucid. The trick was to realize I was dreaming and raise my hand in front of my face. Once I could do this, I realized in my dream that I had the power to choose what I did in the dream. The first couple times I did this, I got too excited about it and woke up.

The third and subsequent times I was able to stay dreaming and I would choose to fly. The sensation was exhilarating and absolutely amazing. I loved it. The only two times I had sensations stronger than the sense of flying in a dream were when I woke up once before my body did and I was comatose, trapped in a disconnected body, this was horrifying. The second was when I met the Messiah in a dream and felt compassion that was so intense, it brought so much love and joy to me, that I crumbled to my knees. One day I’ll share that dream, but not today.

I think I’m at a phase of dreaming where I could get back to lucid dreaming. I think I’m going to go to bed reminding myself to look at my hand and then take control of my dreams. I want to shift from dreams that are silly and stressful to ones where I can enjoy sensations that I can’t in real life. I want to fly again.

Stretching my back and my mind

Stretching my body has always been a chore. I find the discomfort of stretching tight muscles painful rather than uncomfortable. But I need to do it. I was 4’11 at the end of Grade 9, and grew to 5’6½” at the end of Grade 10. That growth spurt included a torque in my back that left me with mild scoliosis and back issues that persist to this day. Add hamstrings that are tighter than a piano wire and I’m a walking corpse with rigor mortis set in, when I don’t take the time to stretch.

But I hate the feeling of stretching.

My challenge now is to stretch my mind before my body. I need to re-evaluate how I think about stretching. I need it to be part of my routine, rather than feeling like an add-on that I don’t want to do.

Both stretching my mind and my body in this area feels unnatural. Just saying that tells you I’m failing at stretching my mind. I realize there is a knowing and doing gap here, but telling myself this doesn’t seem to help.

I wonder what mental roadblocks other people have that are similar? Is there something you do that you know is bad for you, or don’t do and know that you should? Where do you need to stretch?

And if you made that stretch… what’s your secret?

Humanity – versus – Reality

I saw a video a few days ago of hundreds of unmasked protesters, packed together in a square in the United Kingdom, singing ‘Stick your poison vaccines up your ass’ to the tune of ‘She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain When She Comes’. I wanted to write about it sooner, but I could only come from an angle of anger and disgust. It would have been a good rant, that would probably have made me feel better, but I’m done ranting with the purpose of making myself feel better. I’ve been seeking out joy, determination, fun facts, and when dealing with our current situation, humour, as sort of coping mechanisms for dealing with the discord that seems to be pervasive right now.

There is an epic battle going on. It is a battle on many battle grounds. It is a battle happening across the world. It is a battle that pits humanity against reality. Here are six of the battlegrounds:

  1. The Covid-19 Pandemic: Many people are dying – versus – Protests against the preventions and lockdowns to prevent the spread.
  2. Vaccines: They save lives – versus – They are dangerous (or they will be used to monitor and track us).
  3. Climate change: It’s the greatest threat we face as a species – versus – It’s a hoax.
  4. Science: Seeking objective facts – versus – un-objective and agenda-driven propaganda.
  5. Freedom: Government are here to serve and protect us – versus – Governments are corrupt and stripping away our freedoms in an attempt to control us.
  6. Civil liberties: Issues like racism, gender identity, pro-choice, freedom of expression – versus – Religious values, as well as both right-wing (QAnon) and left-wing (Antifa extremists) using hateful tactics to argue their points.

I purposely didn’t use the word ‘Truth’ before now. I believe that we are living in a post-Truth era (with an intentional capital ‘T’).  I’ll leave you with Stuart McMillan’s webcomic about Neil Postman’s book, ‘Amusing Ourselves to Death‘. I recently listened to both 1984 and Brave New World back-to-back. I was struck by the contrast between a world run based on fear – versus – one run based on pleasure. I think that things are so messed up right now that we are stuck in a dystopian novel where both worlds exist simultaneously. Many people live in constant fear based on ‘facts’ that are cherry-picked, on half-truths, and even made up completely. Many more are living in a social media based alternate reality where their truths are based on a ‘news’ feed designed to entertain with a confusing mix of facts and fiction.

I don’t know how so many people could be naive enough to believe that the world is flat and other ridiculous conspiracies; That vaccines will be used to monitor you; That so many people can confuse mask use with being a sheep; Or that so many people can believe one group’s fight for rights undermines their own rights? Yet, across the globe, millions of people are so sure they are right, that protests and propaganda based on ignorance are now commonplace.

We are living in an era where humanity has no grasp on reality. Fiction and fact are interchangeable. ‘T’ruth is subjective. And a common, collective plan for peace and prosperity seems further away than any worlds that Huxley or Orwell could fabricate.

The future of conferences

In the past few weeks I’ve participated in Microsoft Teams and Zoom meetings with Jeff Borden and Dean Shareski. Both of them did a great job, but I look forward to doing face-to-face conferences again. Dean recently wrote, ‘The Future of Professional Learning Part 1‘,

“I do wonder if we’ll be more intentional about what constitutes and justifies a great face to face experience and what can be highly effective as a virtual option?”

This got be thinking about where we go with conferences post-pandemic? In response to a tweet about his post, I said,  “I was tiring of regular conferences, now I miss them. I think they will evolve to be more engaging (why travel somewhere for a PowerPoint that could be on Zoom) and I also think we might see more (online) pre/post conference engagement and learning.”

To expand on this idea, I don’t see things like pre-presentations or assignments and tasks being given before a conference (read as ‘not homework’), but I do see opportunities for conversation, interaction with the presenter, and with other conference attendees. I see icebreakers and teasers.  I see feedback to the presenter about what the attendees want. I see presenters providing clear learning intentions and a framework for their talk. I see presenters providing a personal introduction so that instead of the first 5-10 minutes of a 1 hour presentation slot being “This is who I am”, the presentation starts with an activity, engaging people with other people who have already connected online. I see interactive presentations that rely on participants being involved and engaged with the material.

Think about it. Why spend hundreds of dollars in flights, hotels, and food, to go to a room and get a PowerPoint and ‘talking head’ that could easily have been delivered to you at home? When I went to ISTE, my favourite memories are the blogger’s cafe, and meeting friends to do podcasts with (Shelly Sanchez Terrell and Kathleen McClaskey), and the people I went to ISTE with from my district. When I went to SXSW EDU, the people I went with and the podcasts that I did are the only things I remember (David Jakes, Jeff Richardson, and after the conference Miguel Guhlin). The future of conferences will need to be much more about creating experiences and making connections and less about presentations… this was already happening, but now that we have created digital experiences that will compete, the pull of conferences needs to be about enriching the experience and making it worth the effort to travel.

The act of writing

Twitter inspired my to write this morning. The first tweet is by Marcus Blair, but let me share some tweets by him before I get to the one that originally inspired me.

Marcus has become one of my favourite educators on Twitter. He shares tweets about what he does in the classroom and he reflects on his teaching and his interactions with his class. In a time when there is so much stress and anxiety, he shares tweets that I find uplifting, and that remind me why I wanted to get into education.

Here are 3 recent tweets by him:

The tweet that inspired me to write now was this one where Marcus reflected on his own writing:


I responded:


Then almost a couple hours later I read James Clear’s 3-2-1 weekly email and wrote this about one of the 3 quotes he shared:

The act of writing makes me a better writer. The commitment to this act every  single day is itself a reward, making me feel like I’ve accomplished something before I even start my work day.

Yes, some mornings it is really hard to get started. There have been days that I’ve spent more time thinking than writing. Yes, there have been days when I’ve had to rush or even postpone my morning workout because I was too slow to get my writing started, or too long winded to finish what I was writing in a timely manner. Yes, some things I’ve written should have been left unwritten. But sometimes… sometimes my writing speaks to me. Sometimes it is metaphorically a song I had to sing. Sometimes the act of writing is a form of expression that leaves me feeling like I’ve added something worth sharing with the world.

For those moments I write. Not for the actual contribution I’ve shared, but for the feeling I get sharing it. Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.

Falling fairies

It was meant to be funny, but it was mean. Not one of proudest moments as a dad.

My oldest daughter was three, and we were outside, playing in the fresh snow on a weekend morning. The snow was deep, but way too fluffy and soft for a snowman. I went over to the huge tree in our front yard, covered in snow, branches laden with powdered snow, and decided it would be funny to shake the snow onto my daughter. A harmless joke.

I called here over. ‘Come here’.

“Why”

I gently pulled a branch lower. “Come over here.’

“Why”

‘If you listen carefully you can hear the tree fairies sing.’

My daughter came over, trying to listen, and I shook the branch. Puffy snowflakes came falling down into her. This wasn’t a dump of snow, it was a powdering, but still, a solid covering of her toque and face.

And then the tears came so fast that I couldn’t even laugh. Thank goodness because that would have been meaner that it already was. I gave her a hug and she cried on my shoulder. I realized my mistake and hugged her tight. At this point I did laugh embarrassingly, but held it in, my body shaking as I held back the noise, still hugging her and hiding my guilty grin. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry sweetie, it was just a joke.’

My mistake wasn’t dumping snow on her, that would have been funny. It was the comment about the fairies that was hurtful. I played on the gullibility of a three year old who really believed she was going to hear a tree fairy. When I tricked her, it wasn’t just a prank by dad for the sake of a joke, it was a betrayal, and a disappointment that made the betrayal actually hurt.

She got over it pretty quickly, and we were back to playing and having fun a few moments after the tears. Now that she’s almost 21, I’m sure this isn’t a scarring memory that she’ll end up needing therapy for, but it was not a great parenting moment for me.

We don’t always realize the way we hurt people with the things we say. To us it’s nothing but a lighthearted joke, a little poke, a passing comment. But to the receiver it can be more. It was falling fairies, not falling snow, that really hurt my daughter.

We don’t always see how our words and actions can really affect others. We say ‘It’s not a big deal’, others feel it really is. We see misunderstanding, others see malcontent. We see honest mistakes, others see betrayal. What others hear and feel is far more important than what we think they hear and feel.

And sometimes a sincere apology, or even a hug, can go a long way in mending fallen feelings.

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A related story, “T’was two nights after Christmas… A story of lost innocence.“

When students own the learning

Last night was Inquiry Hub’s open house. I shared a post about our open house last year: A Place to Dream, Create, and Learn. A year ago we packed around 200 people into our gym and had a great night of presentations:

But with Covid-19 this year the event had to go digital. We held a YouTube Live event. Show starts 26 minutes in or you can watch topic-based sections here: InquiryHub.org/open2020

It is such a privilege producing something like this with these students. They worked so hard preparing the event. They created scripts, videos, music, and designed posters, (like the 16 individual posters that fit together to create a single poster below, used as one of our backdrops). And students learned how to use all the equipment along the way. We had 3 cameras and a slideshow presentation, and while transitions could have been a bit tighter, I’m so impressed with how this student-organized event went.

One neat thing that we did was that we had a question submission form that we advertised before and during the show, where viewers could ask questions. Then we answered them live, throughout the show. Our student producer fed the questions to our student MC, and she directed them to our student and teacher panel depending on who she thought should answer. This is a challenging thing to do well in a live show… especially having never done it before. Of all the questions asked, I think I offered one of the weakest answers (because I rambled a bit on what should have been a 10 second answer). Beyond that flub, we didn’t need to have an answer clarified by someone else.

We had over 180 live viewers at the start of the show and still had over 170 viewers 40 minutes in. To keep that many people watching for that long is a testament to how smoothly things went.

Through the night, one thing was clear: when students take pride in their school, when they feel they own the learning, they will step up and deliver a great product when called upon to do so. Students thrive when they own the learning.

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(Just dug up another similar post I wrote about one of our previous open houses, prompted by a Facebook memory,)

 

Logo Composite Design by Maddison D, Grade 10