Tag Archives: self-care

Balancing fitness and wellness

On January 19th my brother-in-law and I bet that we would be able to do a couple fitness challenges by February 19th. The first one is 60 push-ups, and the second one is 30 pull-ups.

I began at a point where I was regularly doing 25-30 push-ups and 10-12 pull-ups, and felt that 60 consecutive push-ups was easy to get to, but the pull-ups would be a challenge. I was right, and while a week ago I was able to do 60 push-ups (the last 15 very slowly and more vocal than I would have liked), I was only at 18 pull-ups and knew I would struggle to hit my goal by the 19th.

Then my upper back started to tighten up. I have always had to take special care of my back, dealing with issues since I grew 7.5 inches in a year as a teenager. I have mild scoliosis, and deal with discomfort daily, and pain when I’m not caring for myself, or when I do something silly or accidental. This upper back pain wasn’t an injury feeling, just an overall tightness that wouldn’t go away.

So, last week Wednesday I had a very deep massage that was one of the more uncomfortable ones I’ve had in ages, and came home had a hot tub after dinner. In the hot tub, finally feeling normal, I decided I needed to give my shoulders a break and I paused my push-up and pull-up regimen. I’ve kept up my cardio, I took Saturday off, I took it easy yesterday, and will do so again today when I head down to my home gym after writing this.

The reality is that I’m stubborn and I plan on meeting the pull-up challenge eventually. I’m fitter than I’ve been in a couple decades. I’m lighter than I’ve been in a couple decades. And half a life ago I used to do 3 sets of 28 chin-ups with a 25lb weight hanging off of me. I know 30 pull-ups is something I’ll be able to ‘pull off’. The challenge is that I can’t live my life trying to meet unrealistic fitness goals, and feeling like my back is in a constant state of flexing too hard. I can’t sacrifice my wellness for a fitness goal.

I’ve been on a 2-year healthy living path. My back has been better than it has been in years, but I would still be lying to myself if I said my back didn’t give me issues. Stretching and very deep massage help a lot. Staying fit helps a lot. But over-exertion and pushing myself doesn’t help. I can progress and improve slowly, but I can’t race.

At 53, I don’t plan on slowing down and taking it easy. I plan on reaching new fitness goals… but I need to be the tortoise and not the hare. Slow and steady progress is what will benefit me, while pretending I’m youthful and invincible will cause avoidable injury. This will hurt both my overall wellness and my ability to not just improve but also maintain my fitness. I won’t be doing 30 pull-ups any time soon, but I will work to get there, and I believe it’s achievable… without sacrificing the well-being of my back.

Going for walks

The best part of this whole pandemic has been that I have been outside on walks far more that I have in years. Just got back from the usual 5k walk I take with my wife, and we also did a masked walk with a couple, who are close friends, last night. There is something cathartic about walking and talking. Equally so, walking alone and thinking, or even listening to music, or a podcast or an audio book. I don’t know why walks are so enjoyable, but they make me feel great.

Get outside. Go for a walk. So what if it’s dark, take a flashlight or a bike light with you. So what if it’s raining or snowing, wear appropriately dry/warm clothing. So what if you don’t have someone’s go with, walk alone. Whatever the path you may be on, part of it can be walked.

What the new year does and does not bring

The new year brings an end to a difficult year.

The new year does not bring any tangible changes as a result of our planet crossing an arbitrary point in our rotation around the sun.

The new year brings hope, for a heard immunity against Covid-19, thanks to a number of different vaccines.

The new year does not bring any immediate relief from the spread of Covid-19, with a greater threat of spread due to a more contagious new variant coming out of the UK.

The new year brings resolutions and promises of self-improvement and ambitious goals.

The new year does not bring any promise of fulfilling these new goals without a dedicated effort to change habits and behaviours.

The new year brings a political and ideological shift in power in the United States.

The new year does not bring a promise of less divisiveness in the American people who seem too ideologically divided.

The new year brings inconsistent approaches to dealing with the virus, from being scarily too open to being confusingly too locked down.

The new year does not bring any promise of clarity about how best to deal with the virus while we wait for widespread vaccine distribution.

The new year brings continued paranoia and conspiracy filled misinformation, shared virally on social media.

The new year does not bring any way to meaningfully combat the spread of bad ideas.

The new year brings anticipation for a better year than 2020.

The new year brings promise of post pandemic world.

The new year brings opportunity for positive change.

The new year brings us more of the same, unless we choose to think, say, and act differently.

Let’s be different, better, more loving, kind, and caring… to ourselves, our community, and our environment. We do not get to choose the world we live in, but we do get to choose our impact on it and those in our community we share it with.

Walk with a friend

Yesterday after work I went for a walk with a buddy. It was damp and a little cold out, but I overdressed and was comfortably warm with a couple layers open/unzipped. I’ve always been someone more comfortable warm than cold, and believe that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing for the weather.

One of the topics we discussed was that while on the outside everyone is coping and doing the best they can, the long game of dealing with Covid-19, which probably isn’t even half over, and the social effects of dealing with a pandemic are wearing people down. Pretending we are ok isn’t enough, when so many of us are struggling for such a long time.

I spoke to a firefighter recently and asked him what keeps him most busy at work right now. He said 3 things: Car accidents, overdoses, and suicides. Overdoses and suicides have gotten a lot worse since the pandemic started.

And we aren’t close to things getting better. Yesterday there were almost a half million (recorded) new cases of Covid.

I believe this was the worst one-day increase we’ve ever seen!

This is a depressing statistic that flies in the face of people who downplay the seriousness of the pandemic we are facing.

So things are not getting better, and people are struggling. What can we do?

First, take Vitamin D.

Next, check in with friends or family that might be really struggling. I saw this Facebook post from a friend today,

“Phone is always on, and coffee can easily be brewed. I’m doing a brother/sister check in. Especially this time of year. Showing support for one another…”

And one more thing I strongly suggest is getting outside with a friend. My walk yesterday was rejuvenating. My buddy and I talked openly and honestly about how we are doing, what we are struggling with, and what we just needed to vent about. But it didn’t feel like a rant. It was an opportunity to be honest about how we really feel right now. It was better than a phone call, although a phone call or video call can be good too. Meeting and doing something active was wonderful.

When I wrote “It’s just this” a few days ago I said,

We might have made these adjustments fairly quickly on the outside, but ‘this’ is still not normal, and so it’s draining, and requires more effort than usual. ‘This’ will take a bit more time to fully adjust to… We will get used to ‘this’ eventually, and when we do, we will find ways to thrive.

If we want to find ways to thrive, we need to first take care of ourselves. Go do something active with family or friends (within your bubble). Find reasons to be outside. Walk and talk. Connect with someone who you can be honest with about how you are really doing. Lean on those who can support you and let others lean on you if they need the same.

The battle beyond

Yesterday I wrote, ‘The battle within‘ and said,

“The battle within is greater than the battle beyond.“

And while I firmly believe this I am seeing countless tweets from educators and educational leaders across different districts, provinces, states, and international borders, talking about the overwhelm and exhaustion of their role in a pandemic. The challenge ‘beyond’ is taxing the battles ‘within’ and burnout seems endemic.

I’ve seen comments like:

“I can’t sleep thinking about how much I have to do.”

“I have no time to exercise or take care of myself.”

“I have to take the weekend off.”

“I asked for help but it isn’t coming fast enough.”

“I’m in my second year teaching and I feel I have to quit.”

“I’m tired of just doing an adequate job.”

“This is unsustainable.”

“I won’t make it to June at this pace.”

“My students deserve more, but I have nothing more to give.”

Here are a few suggestions I hope can help:

  • Take care of yourself. Busy times are exactly when self care matters most. Everything you do for yourself during these times will give you the energy to help and provide for others… but more importantly, you will just feel better!
  • Ask for help. It’s ok to let others know you need support.
  • Collaborate. Find others who can share the load, and find energy by working with others.
  • Reduce your own expectations around work load. What can you do to reduce marking, or to provide assessment that is student rather than grade focussed? Example: Instead of giving a test that takes 10 min. each to mark, give a 1-1 assessment that takes 5-10 minutes. You and your students will both get more out of the experience.
  • Take body and brain breaks. Have fun, while recharging yourself and your students.
  • Turn off work for a set time each night… be militant about this. Go for a no technology walk with someone. Put a block of time in your calendar. Play a board game.
  • Do something creative.
  • Meditate daily.
  • Get to bed early.
  • Exercise. Suggestion: Try to do a quick workout early in the morning… get your heart rate up for 20 minutes to start the day.
  • Pack healthy treats that you enjoy, so that food breaks are rewarding in more ways than one.
  • Connect with friends digitally. Your digital bubble need not be small just because your face to face one is.

This is a time when the battle beyond can overwhelm the battle within… so make intentional efforts to care for yourself and not only you, but those around you will benefit!

The battle within

The battle within is greater than the battle beyond.

It is challenging to realize that our ultimate enemy is ourselves. Our vices vary. Our demons come in different sizes. But they come from within, not from outside.

In today’s Daily Calm meditation, I heard this quote worth contemplating, “You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

Anger, frustration, jealousy, hurt, upset, sadness, embarrassment, pride, guilt, shame, fear, regret, anxiety… These are all things that we can not simply close our eyes to when we feel them. We rarely have complete control over how deeply we feel them. But we can decide how much we fuel them. How much we let them burn us up.

I chose my words carefully when I said, “We rarely have complete control over how deeply we feel them.” If I feel sad, I can not easily make the sadness disappear. Just like when you shut your eyes in direct sunlight, light shines through your eyelids, so too does an emotion like sadness seep in as you try to block it out.

Sometimes it’s better to feel than it is to block emotions, even if they are negative. Embrace the emotion and let it come over you. But how long do you allow this? At what point does the emotion take over? At what point does a feeling like sadness or anxiety or grief become an enemy within? At what point does it take control of you?

‘Don’t be sad.’

‘Don’t be anxious.’

There are few words that can be said with good intentions that could be worse than saying one of these phrases to a person feeling those emotions.These worlds only magnify the emotion’s hold on a person, who desperately wants to escape the overpowering feelings that are burning inside.

So if it is a battle within, how does one fight it? I’m not sure I have an answer that works for others. What works for me is to play with the ideas that bring those feelings to me. I imagine the emotion being first worse and then better. Not just worse but horrific. How much more could it hurt, how much worse could it feel. I take it to places further than it could possible go. Then I weigh how bad I really feel. Then I think about how I could feel better.

That’s how I battle. I shine the light brighter than I can look at it, then look away and the brightness seems so much less intense. I don’t try first to look away, I look more intensely, and then I choose to look away. Then it feels less like a battle to fight and more like something I have fought and moved on from. But I also don’t pretend it’s gone, I simply care less that it is there.

I don’t pretend this always works, I don’t imagine it would work for everyone, but I seldom spend time on battles I see others struggle with… and I’m sure some of my battles within are battles others could handle with ease.

I think it’s true for most everyone that the battle within is greater than the battle beyond. But I also believe that these battles need not be as big as we make them.

What is your response?

When someone asks, “How are you doing?” What’s your response?

Alright. Ok. Great. Good. Fine. Not bad. Could be better. Busy. Surviving. Keeping my head above water. Meh. Hanging on. Surviving.

I bet that if you think back to your childhood, your answer was probably almost always ‘Good’ for anyone beyond your parents, who might have gotten a more explicit answer.

For many years of my adult life, I used to respond, ‘Busy, but good’. Then I went to an Ignite presentation by Dean Shareski that he titled, ‘Busy is not a badge of honour’.

That short presentation made me rethink my response. Everyone is busy. It’s not a thing in my life that should define how I’m doing or feeling. When I think back, I can’t remember a time when work wasn’t busy. When I think back to the people who ask me how I’m doing, seldom are they not busy too.

Right now, if you were to ask 10 people, ‘How are you doing?’ And then after their trivial response you replied, ‘No, how are you really doing.’ What kind of responses would you get?

What response would you give to that follow-up question? Really?

A couple days ago I wrote about self care, and making time for yourself. It’s a thought that I keep coming back to. I’m not sure how well people are doing right now?

I’m up every morning by about 5am to write, meditate, and listen to an audio book while exercising. This is my self care. I’m getting on my exercise bike right after I schedule this post. This routine makes me feel good. I have accomplished a few things for myself before I get to work. If I have to work late, I’m not missing my self care.

This makes it easier to say that things are good. That I’m doing well. What about you?

How are you really doing?

Self care

Apparently yesterday was Mental Health (awareness) Day. I didn’t realize until I saw a number of tweets come through my feed. What’s interesting is that two days ago, after coming home from a long week at school, I saw many tweets from educators talking about being exhausted, feeling overwhelmed, and essentially saying, ‘the struggle is real’!

I felt it too, as I shared in this stress-releasing tweet I shared on Thursday:


These are interesting and exhausting times, and overwhelm seems to be palpable to many. So now is a good time to remember the importance of self care. When we care for ourselves, we have more to offer others.

  • Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Walking (for pleasure, not to get somewhere)
  • Hobbies
  • A glass of wine
  • Binging on Netflix
  • Conversations with friends or distant family
  • A technology free dinner with family
  • A good book
  • Creating an upbeat playlist
  • Cuddling with a loved one
  • Ordering in a favourite meal
  • A long shower or bath
  • A funny podcast
  • An extra hour or two of sleep
  • Playing a mindless game
  • Puzzles, crosswords, Sudoko

What you probably don’t need is to spend more time on social media, unless you have a stream that’s intentionally funny or entertaining. You don’t need to think about the work you have to do all weekend, schedule a bit of time and that’s the time to think about it.

When there are many things beyond your control, when spare time seems nonexistent, that’s a hint to make time for yourself. You’ll feel better because of it. You’ll have more energy because of it. And most importantly, you deserve it.

How are you doing?

Really, how are you?

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

Who are you making an effort to connect with, to call rather than text, to see on video rather than just hear on an audio call?

What are your eating habits like?

Are you following an exercise routine? Going for walks?

Are you getting enough sleep?

Are you asking for or seeking help if you need it?

We have more to offer others when we first care for ourselves.

When is your next workout?

Even without dealing with a pandemic, this is a crazy time of year for educators. I will avoid sharing what time I’m writing this, but let’s just say it has been a long day! I bet 2/3rds or more educators can’t believe it’s only Thursday, and not the weekend yet!

So with all the craziness of September, who has time for a workout?

You do!

Until January 2019, my pattern was to stop working out during my busy times at school, like September and report card time. Then I realized that fair weather fitness wasn’t fitness. I decided that if I wanted to be healthy, I had to be consistent. So I stopped letting ‘busy’ stop me from working out.

The result: more energy, and more to give! More vibrancy, and a great feeling that I’m actually caring for both my current and future self.

Busy times aren’t times to push heavy weights, run longer, or ride faster. Its dedicating small windows of time to self care. It’s about raising the heartbeat, walking when you’re too tired to run, and maintaining a level of fitness at a time when it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself.

If fitness isn’t a priority when you are ‘too busy’ then it’s not a priority. Period.

You deserve to treat yourself better than that. So, when is your next workout?