Tag Archives: metaphor

Be Fearless

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“It is better to negate the positive than it is to state the negative.” ~ Joe Truss

I had a fantastic conversation with Joe (my uncle) this morning. We discussed the importance of framing the things we don’t want in the positive. Our minds negate the ‘No’ in front of the thing we don’t like. We have no choice but to think about the negative action in order to know what not to do… and so we are fundamentally thinking about the wrong things when we are negating an inherently negative idea.

Instead of “No Fear!” -> Be Fearless!

To understand ‘No Fear’, we must understand Fear. To understand ‘Be fearless’, we must understand fearlessness, and maybe bravery or courageousness too.

So, negate the positive:

• ‘I hate this’ -> I am not in love with this.

• Don’t cheat -> Play fair.

• I am angry -> This doesn’t feel good, I am not at ease, or I am not happy with…

You will feel much happier if you do this little life hack, and so will those you hope to inspire, lead, and love.

On Being Invisible

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At our school, when we run a special event the students are in charge of the sound system. My line to them is that their job is to: ‘Be invisible’. The best job they can do is not to be noticed. We notice the sound crew when we hear microphone feedback, or static, or music starts too early, too late, or too loudly. Or someone speaks but the mic is off or too quiet. If none of these hiccups happen, the sound team are not ever in the limelight… and they have done an excellent job.

At a dinner meeting last night a colleague reminded me of a different kind of invisible, and that’s being invisible until it’s important to be seen. The metaphor he used was a referee. A referee should be invisible or not a factor in the game, doing his or her job, making the right calls, and not disrupting the flow of the game. However, there are also times when refs need to be the center of attention. They need to stop the game and make the big call. At this point they are crucial, and the wrong call can be devastating for a team.

They can spend most of the game being somewhat invisible, and going relatively unnoticed, and then suddenly they are front and center, making a key call that could pivot the outcome of the game significantly. A lot of jobs are more like the referee than the sound tech, as long as the person in the job is focussed on wanting to be invisible.

A good teacher or school counsellor can invisibly be doing a fantastic job, handling behavioural or social issues that never reach the office to be dealt with by a principal. These staff members may not get a lot of attention but they are quietly doing an excellent job… and when they ask for help or escalate a situation, the leader knows to step in and support them. Rather than explain the opposite, just know that sometimes situations demand more attention regardless of how good a teacher or school counsellor is, and other times the attention is required because the ‘referee’ is making less than ideal calls.

The point being, it’s ideal in many positions to be invisible, to take care of issues in the background, unseen. But there are also times to make the tough calls and to be in front of the issues and addressing them head on. The magic is in staying invisible most of the time and knowing when to reveal yourself.

Being vs Doing

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I was listening to a guided meditation, and it mentioned that how we live in the world is more focused on doing rather than being.

This made me think about the multitude of tasks we do on autopilot, and how we aren’t always fully present when we do them. It made me think about my work day and how much of it is spent focused on tasks, and not at all on the experience.

Doing is an external experience focused on productivity and achievement. Being is intrinsic, it emphasizes awareness, mindfulness, and the value of life. Doing is all about chasing goals and getting stuff done, it’s what moves us ahead and lets us make things happen. But being… That’s about soaking in the moment, really living it up, and savoring life’s journey as it happens.

This isn’t an either/or thing, but I feel like we, I feel like I, could benefit from being more… More present, more aware, more in the moment. Whole days can go by where I’m task oriented, focused on what needs to be done, and not aware or appreciative of my experience. It’s really about valuing the life we have as it unfolds, rather than just checking off boxes of tasks and achievements mindlessly.

If we are too busy only doing, are we allowing ourselves the opportunity to value and appreciate this wonderful life we are living? Are we living at all, or just moving from task to task, like mindless robots. I laugh a lot more when I’m being and not just doing. I connect with people more meaningfully. I find joy in the tasks that I do. Being is an awareness that sits above the things we do, and it changes a life of activity for the sake of activity, to one where we can find meaning, and joy, throughout our day, and on days yet to come.

Attention and distraction

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Do you ever look at the length of an article or a video before deciding if you’ll bother reading or watching it? Do you ever stop what you are doing to read an incoming message or notification?

How many notifications do you get in a day? How many times is your attention on a task taken away by digital distractions?

After years of these interruptions, how are our brains being re-wired? However much the distractions affect us, they are distracting our younger generations more. I have many notifications turned off on my phone, and I’m not using apps as a means to communicate with friends regularly. Teens today are in constant contact with friends, and even parents, and the interruptions are continuous.

I recently had a lunch at a restaurant with family and no phones came out the entire meal. This is normal for us, but not what we see around us. My daughter mentioned a dinner we had on holidays in Whistler, where a family of a mother and three girls sat next to us. The youngest had headphones on and barely looked up from her iPad. Another was glued to her phone. The third was drawing and had one earphone in. None of them had a single conversation with their mom that any of us witnessed.

I have to wonder, are our attention spans shrinking? Are digital distractions affecting our ability to hold continued focus without interruption? Are we no more than Pavlov’s dogs, salivating at the sound of the next notification?

This isn’t new. TV used to interrupt our shows for commercials. Kids shows like Sponge Bob don’t hold the same camera angle for more than 4 or 5 seconds, giving constant stimulation even when nothing is happening. So, interruptions aren’t new, but they are exponentially worse on unlimited data, social media packed phones.

We are, as Neil Postman suggests, ‘Amusing Ourselves to Death‘. We are slowly destroying our ability to sit focused and uninterrupted on a single task. More than one notification came up while I was writing this, so I’ve obviously not figured out how to reduce the distractions myself. How many years of these distractions before we become incapable of staying on one task for any extended period of time?

Writing your own chapters

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If your life were a chapter book, how many chapters would it have?

Would you choose to write about long periods of time in a single chapter? Would you provide vignettes? Would you think of your life as seasons or interludes or would it have features and long gaps between stories shared?

How complete would the story be right now?

What chapters are waiting to be written? And how long have you waited?

What would highlight in the current chapter?

Start writing.

I’m heading home

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It’s almost noon and I’m sitting poolside, but in the shade. I had a shower and really don’t want to lather up with sunscreen when I’m going to be taking a cab to the airport in just over an hour. After writing this I’ll put my audio spy novel back on for 20 minutes before heading to a shack restaurant in the strip of restaurants and shops across the street. I’ll order one more delicious breakfast burrito and savour it.

I usually prefer more active holidays, rather than planning my day between pool chairs and meals, but I have say that this was a fabulous trip! I was with great people, and my wife and I had more quality time together than we’ve had in quite some time. It’s easy at home to get busy and live side-by-side lives, without spending enough quality time together. It sometimes takes a holiday to really enjoy each other’s company and not just spend time planning the next thing, the next meal, the next shopping list, the next… and the next, and the next ‘thing’ we need to do.

I’m heading home today, but I hope to be able to find some chill time at home that keeps this holiday-time feeling going, ‘small slices of relaxation every day’ or ‘holidays in a cup’. I won’t have this gorgeous poolside view, but I can still find moments, slices, and tiny tastes of holiday every day.

The greatest threat to mankind

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I recently wrote about the Top Risks of 2024, which were in order of concern:

  • The United States versus itself
  • The Middle East on the brink
  • Partitioned Ukraine

Any of these three risks can have dire consequences on the stability of global politics, global trade, and global conflicts far beyond the borders of the mentioned countries.

These are imminent dangers that leave the rest of the world feeling like pawns on a chessboard filled with ‘other’ power pieces making all the strategic moves. But there is one danger on the geopolitical chessboard that I think will become the biggest threat we face when in the near future, and that’s the pawns themselves. Not the powerful pieces, but rather a rogue ‘nobody’.

While people fear Artificial Intelligence, and the rise of AI robots, what I fear is rogue humans using AI with harmful intent. The future will permit individuals with evil intentions to have too much power. It comes down to two well known adages: information is power, and power corrupts.

The problem isn’t a rogue leader, or a rogue country, it’s a rogue individual with too much information and too much power. A perfect example? See #5 on this article: ‘Why we’ll never actually destroy the last samples of smallpox’,

5) We could always recreate smallpox from genetic information

One could argue that in the information and genetics age, nothing really dies forever. It just dies until the technology to resurrect it appears. And for smallpox, that time is now.

The technology is here. And so is the necessary information: the complete DNA sequences of roughly 50 smallpox samples are available to the general public. This means that people could make smallpox in the lab. “Someone could if they wished recreate live virus from scratch just from that public information,”

We are less than a decade away from one intelligent crackpot, working in his or her (more likely an incel ‘his’) basement lab, creating or recreating a deadly virus and having it spread covid-19 style across the globe.

We are 15-20 years away from some crackpot scientist developing a nuclear bomb from parts and resources ordered online… without ever raising red flags to warn of his intentions.

The greatest threat to mankind isn’t wealthy people, politicians, and powerful countries, it’s one individual with malice in his heart and access to knowledge and information more power than anyone should ever have.

Missing the big picture

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A couple weeks back I was in a problem solving situation where I was brought in to give some perspective on how one of my programs could assist with a problem at a school. I was an add-on to a conversation that was already happening, and I found it frustrating. I kept having to speak up and give perspective on the big picture and how what seemed like a simple fix was actually something that would have unforeseen consequences. My grandfather used to say, “Don’t put lipstick on a pig,” and that seemed to be the approach. “Let’s make it look like we are addressing the issue, all the while just making an ugly situation seem like it’s not as bad.

Yesterday I was in a meeting and it was completely different. Everyone was thinking big picture. How does this affect students? Staff? Funding? Optics? When a suggestion was brought up, the team of people I was working with took each idea and put it through a big picture lens. When a suggestion was knocked down, there were no egos attached, it was just a change in frame, and the new perspective provided more useful information.

A one hour meeting took over an hour and a half, and afterwards I had another 45 minutes of hammering out one possible solution, which may not be the one we go with. However, even if the idea I suggest isn’t the one we go with, I know the final decision will be one that considers multiple perspectives, and will be a viable solution to the problem we are working on.

What a contrast it is between these two scenarios. In the first case, the focus was on a quick fix, and in the second case the focus was on a sustainable solution. The difference was being with a team of people focused on the big picture rather than just trying to make a problem go away.

It’s a matter of the frame you put around your problem… and when in fix-it mode, the bigger the frame the better.

Do you hear the music?

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“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
~Friedrich Nietzsche

Sometimes we let our perception cloud our perspective. We get caught up in our own world and don’t recognize that we are focused on minutia that clutter our attention, and we lose perspective.

We don’t see the the early season budding flowers, we don’t feel a light breeze, we don’t taste the food we rush to eat. We don’t hear the music. We don’t dance. We don’t perceive the beauty of the world around us.

When you see someone joyful, be perceptive, what is making their heart dance? Listen carefully and you too will hear the music.

James Clear on hats, haircuts, and tattoos

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I love this! James Clear has a weekly email, 3-2-1 Thursday, with 3 ideas from him, 2 quotes, and one question. I have shared this a few times because I think this weekly email is one of the only subscriptions I read every single time I get it.

A couple weeks ago this was one of the items from him:

“I think about decisions in three ways: hats, haircuts, and tattoos.

Most decisions are like hats. Try one and if you don’t like it, put it back and try another. The cost of a mistake is low, so move quickly and try a bunch of hats.

Some decisions are like haircuts. You can fix a bad one, but it won’t be quick and you might feel foolish for awhile. That said, don’t be scared of a bad haircut. Trying something new is usually a risk worth taking. If it doesn’t work out, by this time next year you will have moved on and so will everyone else.

A few decisions are like tattoos. Once you make them, you have to live with them. Some mistakes are irreversible. Maybe you’ll move on for a moment, but then you’ll glance in the mirror and be reminded of that choice all over again. Even years later, the decision leaves a mark. When you’re dealing with an irreversible choice, move slowly and think carefully.”

How often do we think of hat decisions as if they are haircut decisions, or haircut decisions as if they are tattoo decisions? I think that we tend to overdramatize or exaggerate the consequences of small risks or decisions, and this holds us back from a lot of opportunity for adventure, growth, and learning.

Try some different hats on… and don’t worry so much about the ones that don’t fit.