Tag Archives: family

Connecting with friends

Since the pandemic hit, I’ve been on a group chat on WhatsApp with my sisters, and have communicated with them more than I have in years. It has been wonderful. But beyond that my circle of communication has been really small.

Yesterday I was playfully called out by a presenter that I know, before his presentation started, for not connecting. He was right. I knew he was presenting, and knew he probably wouldn’t realize that I was going to be in the audience, and yet didn’t reach out before the presentation started. Truth be told, I hadn’t even signed up until 2 days before even though I’ve known I’d attend for months. But that’s not my point. The point is, while I’ve been really good at connecting with a very small group of people, I’ve been a bit closed off beyond that circle. I haven’t really reached out to very many people.

I’d like to blame the pandemic, but that’s not being honest. The truth is that I can live a little too much in my head, and not outside it. I might think of someone, but I don’t reach out and call them. If I’m honest, I don’t often make the effort I should.

I’ve got one really good local friend that’s the same and when we connect, it’s like a minute has gone by since we last spoke or saw each other. But then we go a month or two not thinking to call or text. My friends that I do connect with often usually make the first contact, or more of an effort to connect. This isn’t a really flattering thing to admit, but it’s true.

I know it’s a two-way street when it comes to regular communication with friends, but when I’m not someone that puts forth enough effort, I can only expect the same from others. It’s easy to point your finger outwards, a lot harder, but more sincere, to point inwards. I need to realize that I’ve got to make the effort, it’s on me… if I value the friendship.

That said, reach out if you read this feel it has been too long since we connected. 😃

Results are in

I did DNA testing with 23andMe and the results are in. I didn’t expect or get any surprises in my heritage: I’m 55% Ashkenazi Jew, 20% Chinese, and the remainder is split between British and Southern European. My grandparents are a Polish Jew, a Ukrainian Jew, Chinese, and a mix of English with Spanish and Portuguese (my grandmother who thought her father secretly had some Jewish in him, which could explain the above 50% Jewish results). So, my wife’s description of me as a Chinese Jew from Barbados remains a fitting description.

It’s interesting that the category ‘Ashkenazi Jew’ doesn’t break down further, but even though my two grandfathers lived in neighbouring countries, they seem to have come from the same roots. And having been persecuted and ‘othered’ since the Middle Ages, as well as the desire to marry within their own faith, I’m not surprised that there wasn’t a lot of mixed blood in that part of my heritage.

I’m looking forward to exploring this a little further. I’m also interested in digging into other health aspects of the results.

Axe throwing

I went axe throwing for the first time today. It was a lot of fun. It’s the kind of activity where a little coaching and a little practice can go a long way. I really enjoyed throwing one-handed as opposed to with two hands over my head.

https://daily-ink.davidtruss.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/img_7624.mov

One of the coaches showed us an underhanded technique as well. I was far less consistent with most shots going too low, and some too high, but I found the bullseyes a few times with that technique too.

This would be a lot harder if the target distance changed, they set you up at a perfect distance for one full rotation of the exe. But even for archery I do the same thing, shooting again and again from the same distances. I imagine that after 1,000 throws, changing distances would be easy to learn.

For anyone that wants to try a fun activity with an easy entry point, this is a great activity to do with your family.

Taking a real break

There’s always more to do.

Always.

But sometimes you just need a break. Or rather, I do.

Spring break is here and I’ve got a two week break. Shortly after I return I’ll have an opportunity to book my vaccine. I’m heading into a break with optimism and hope… and I’m letting go of work for a good part of this time.

I’ll spend time with family, shoot a lot of arrows, workout (hard), binge watch some shows, listen to a fictional book… and do a little bit of nothing without feeling like I’m procrastinating.

There’s always more to do, but now is a time to do things for me.

Reconnecting with friends

Yesterday I was listening to a podcast and there was a poem on Friendship by David Whyte. I shared a minute of it on Twitter and a few other places.

I think that the absolute hardest part of the pandemic has been the challenge of not seeing friends and family. Yes, we can connect digitally, but I miss those face-to-face connections. However, if I’m honest, I am missing an opportunity that I didn’t take full advantage of before the pandemic. I didn’t take enough time to see friends even before restrictions were in place.

Life gets so busy and we all get caught up in our own worlds. This is a lame but honest excuse. We spend our days without filling it with the company we enjoy. We get caught up in routines and recycle our days rather than plan them. I hope to be more intentional when things open up.

I have a buddy that I see and don’t see in waves. Sometimes we get into a rut where we see each other and just sit and chat about life and the awesome history we have together. Sometimes we get bored with that and plan experiences because we want to make new memories rather than rehash the old. Right now, I’d like nothing better than to sit and have a beverage with him and just be in his presence.

Connecting for the sake of connecting… that’s what I’m looking forward to. Hugs, clinking glasses, and sharing time in the presence of friends.

A night out

Went out for a dinner with my family tonight. My wife’s birthday is coming up in a few days. It’s nice to have a family night out, to feel a little normalcy.

I know the vaccine is headed our way. I also know that this will mean slow and gradual changes, not a sudden reset. So nights like this are still pretty special.

Rewind

A year ago we were heading towards the March break and, at the end of February, had no idea that we would return from the break doing remote learning. I was recovering from breaking my kneecap, and not mentioning Covid-19 or physical distancing yet here on my Daily-Ink. That changed in March.

What a year it has been! Part of me wants to call it a rollercoaster ride, part of me wants to call it a long straight drive on a deserted road through the prairies. No matter how you look at this past year, it is nothing any of us expected a year ago.

Rewind to the end of February 2011, I was a principal in China, and found out I’d be coming back to BC to be vice principal of the adult learning centre. This would lead me to my current position both with Coquitlam Open Learning and co-founding Inquiry Hub.

Rewind to February 2001 and my wife and I had a 1 year old who completely changed our lives. February 2002 our second was born.

Rewind to 1991 and I had not graduated on time from university and went to a different university to finish my degree, choosing this school so that I could play varsity water polo. This brought me back home and I ended up lifeguarding and coaching at a high school. I wouldn’t be a teacher today if I hadn’t made this move and got experience working with and coaching students.

How will I look at February 2021 a decade from now? Will it be a blur in the covid years, or will it be stepping out into a post-covid frontier? Maybe that’s going to be February 2022… I think we will have to keep driving the long prairie road for a while, and look forward to slow and gradual changes in the coming year.

Work-Life Balance

I chatted with a friend recently and he said, “Imagine having a job that you just arrived at on time, left on time at the end of the day, and you didn’t have to think about work while you weren’t at work.”

I have to say that while I might romanticize that work/life balance, I also don’t know too many of those jobs that would appeal to me. Even if I had some kind of existential crisis and quit my job, I don’t think I’d find a new job like that anyway. So my focus for work/life balance is about finding the time to do things that fill my bucket… things that make me appreciate my home and work life; My family and friends; My health and mental well-being.

This isn’t an easy journey to do well. Living through a pandemic doesn’t make it any easier. So, find reasons to be joyful, do activities that are enjoyable, spend time (physically and digitally) with those you love.

I don’t think solitude helps, unless you are somehow enlightened. I don’t think sloth, laziness, or a bag of potato chips helps. Connections do help. Making time for others you care about is something that helps to balance you. Who can you connect with right now?

What are you waiting for?

Old home movies

Recently my wife had our home made DVD (digital) tapes converted to MP4 so that we could watch them on our computers. Last night we watched a few. The videos ranged from 15-20 years ago. With my daughters now at 21 and almost 19, it was a wonderful trip down memory lane.

Taking videos like these really dropped off after those early years. I think this was a combination of two things happening. First, the kids were older and in school, which made for changes in the dynamics at home. Next, the iphone came out and suddenly you always had a video camera available. However, as convenient as this was, it also made me less likely to record everyday activities, when I knew that I’d also have my recorder ‘right there with me’ the next time. So, video became reserved for happy birthday wishes, and graduations, and ‘special’ experiences like these.

When I was watching these videos last night, I was so thankful for the experiences I recorded. I was sharing snippets with my parents and siblings, laughing with my family, and making comments about how young my wife and I, and my parents and siblings, looked. Moments in time captured and then re-lived.

With the advent of 3D video and fully developed 360° immersive cameras, I wonder what home movies of the future will look like? Will we be able to put on some immersive goggles and enter a scene from the past? Will we be able to enter a scene, turn our heads and see the expression on our own faces as we take the video? What will the experience of looking at ‘old’ home made videos look like for our grandkids?

It’s exciting to think how the experience could be different in the future, but for now, I’m quite grateful for what we do have. It’s nice to have easier access to our old videos, and we are going to enjoy the fond memories for years to come.

Holiday greetings

My parents were Jewish in background, but not really in faith. They decided when we were young that we would celebrate Christmas ‘like the other kids’, and so we always had Christmas trees and gifts from Santa. We had so many gifts from our grandparents, aunts, and uncles that it was embarrassing to have friends over to see half a tree above a massive pile of gifts.

My grandfather called our tree the Hanukkah bush. We would have turkey and a ham, and my dad would tell the same joke every year about the pig being circumcised, so the ham was kosher. So, (totally tongue-in-cheek) Christmas was about consumerism and blasphemy in our household.

But above and beyond that, it has always been about the spirit of giving and spending time with family. It’s about love and memories. It’s about being grateful and feeling blessed.

No matter if you celebrate Christmas or not, whether it’s a religious holiday for you or not, or whether you celebrate a different holiday around this originally pagan mid-winter holiday… season’s greetings and happy holidays. May the holiday season bring you joy, and may you find hope and promise in the year ahead.

Be well, be strong, and be kind.