Tag Archives: home

Proximity matters

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I got to see my sister and cousin this weekend. It was so nice to connect. My sister flew in, but my cousin lives 40 minutes to an hour away depending on the time of day I’m travelling there. It’s not far, and yet it is. I remember reading a stat that if you move just an hour away from someone you are likely to see that person more than 80% less than when they lived closer. My visits to my cousin would suggest that stat is higher.

I enjoy the company of him and his wife very much. Good people. Yet I barely see them. It takes my sister flying in to make it happen. Why? Busy lives. Time flies by and an hour drive is 2 hours travel when you also have to go home… well a little less because an evening drive is usually shorter, but still, it’s a lot of driving. It’s the end of April and the next time I’ll see my cousin is probably early July, when I have a gathering planned.

People have asked when I decide to downsize, where would I want to live? I might fantasize about living somewhere tropical but the reality is my wife and I won’t move that far from our kids, and also, we’d like to stay pretty close to where we are now. Why? Because we already don’t see our friends enough, and moving away will just make this harder. Finding time for friends and family is a lot easier when you’re close.

Proximity really matters.

Coming home

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I spent the day travelling today and now I’m home. What a fabulous holiday my wife and I had. It was wonderful to visit with my mom and sister. Unfortunately I spent the entire 10 days with a cough that I still haven’t shaken, but that helped me see the importance of rest.

Normally when a holiday is filled with a lot of down time, I end up feeling guilty, like I wasted the holiday. Not this time. I truly relaxed. I even took time away from my regular routines like meditation and working out… and I did this without the need to beat myself up about it. I just took the time to recover. And as a byproduct, my sciatica has completely gone. I’m not sure if it will return with more activity, but I am thrilled to not feel pain just from standing for a few minutes.

And now I’m home, and the routines return. I’ll be back in the gym early tomorrow. I’ll get back to daily meditation. I’ll start back at work on Monday, ready to enjoy my last 3 months before retirement.

Coming home after a break can often feel like a bit of a slog, but I’m excited to be back, and I’m looking forward to returning to my usual routine… Especially since it’s coming from a desire to get back to my good habits, without beating myself up because I took a bit of time off.

The corner staircase

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I’ve always had this vision of building my own house. I have no experience with architecture, I struggle to build IKEA furniture, and lack basic handyman skills… but I’ve always wanted to design my own dream home. One feature I envision is a staircase in an all-glass corner of the house. It’s kind of a double spiral staircase, and it is designed such that both at the top and the bottom, you walk towards the corner to go both up and down the stairs, and they turn at the halfway point. At the top, you just walk towards the corner and then have a choice of turning either to the left or right. Essentially, you go down about 5 or six steps to a landing where the spiral splits both ways, going away from the corner and along the side walls.

At the bottom of the steps, the first 2 steps create a half circle or crescent, going completely across the corner. Then the stairs spiral left or right with a railing that is only about 6 inches above and behind the second step at the center, and then spirals up with the steps to railing hight by the 4th or 5th step. This creates an empty space on the inside of the spiral, behind the first 2 steps. In this space, underneath the stairs that are coming  down from the floor above, there is a waterfall and then a fish pond in the void behind the spirals.

One more feature is that the wall behind the waterfall has 2 possible positions, one is just less than 90º and the other is just a bit more than 90º. This allows the waterfall to either be a true falls, with water splashing as it lands in the pond, or it can be subtle with water silently sliding down the wall into the pond. So, it’s a wonderful, natural background noise when you want it, but also a subtle trickle when you’d like quiet.

I’ve tried drawing it, but can’t seem to get it right. The AI image I created here is a start of the idea, although not completely what I envision. I’ve tried many times to tweak this image, or use other tools, but I lack the descriptive skills to really get what I want. Still, this would be one feature I’d love to have if I was ever given the chance to design my own house.

Strangers in a familiar land

My wife’s cousin and her husband are visiting from England. They did a bus tour book-ended with family visits. Listening to their itinerary made me realize just how little of BC I’ve actually seen. I’ve now lived in this province for over 30 years and many tourists have seen more of it than me.

I spend so much time thinking about all the countries I want to visit, in order to explore more of the world… and yet I’m a stranger to where I live.

I’m heading home

It’s almost noon and I’m sitting poolside, but in the shade. I had a shower and really don’t want to lather up with sunscreen when I’m going to be taking a cab to the airport in just over an hour. After writing this I’ll put my audio spy novel back on for 20 minutes before heading to a shack restaurant in the strip of restaurants and shops across the street. I’ll order one more delicious breakfast burrito and savour it.

I usually prefer more active holidays, rather than planning my day between pool chairs and meals, but I have say that this was a fabulous trip! I was with great people, and my wife and I had more quality time together than we’ve had in quite some time. It’s easy at home to get busy and live side-by-side lives, without spending enough quality time together. It sometimes takes a holiday to really enjoy each other’s company and not just spend time planning the next thing, the next meal, the next shopping list, the next… and the next, and the next ‘thing’ we need to do.

I’m heading home today, but I hope to be able to find some chill time at home that keeps this holiday-time feeling going, ‘small slices of relaxation every day’ or ‘holidays in a cup’. I won’t have this gorgeous poolside view, but I can still find moments, slices, and tiny tastes of holiday every day.

A five minute job it wasn’t.

Yesterday I changed a toilet seat. It’s a 5 minute job… until I tried to do it. Unfortunately for me one of the old metal screws was rusted and even though the head could take both a flathead and the Robertson square head, they were both stripped in a matter of minutes of trying to use them. Then the plastic bolt got shredded and I was stuck. Exasperating the issue, the toilet is in a tiny alcove and I had to use my phone like a mirror just to see the bolt.

I spent way too long trying to somehow grip the screw head and undo the bold, leaning over the bowl and messing with the bolt I couldn’t directly see. It was futile, but I’m stubborn and continued to waste my time. But it actually wasn’t a complete waste because I shredded the old washer and that provided a little room between the toilet top and the screw head.

What was my next step? I took a new hacksaw blade and stuck it between the toilet top and the screw, and with a tiny 2 to 3-inch back-and-forth motion I cut the screw. It was a process that took over 10 minutes to do. The whole process left an absolute mess to clean up behind the toilet, and from start to finish I was there for close to an hour and a half.

I seem to be cursed when it comes to doing anything ‘handy’. It doesn’t matter what the job is, I end up taking much longer than expected to complete it. Eighteen times longer in this case. I made about 7 or 8 trips to the basement. At least it was only one trip to the hardware store to buy the seat, usually it ends up being 2-3 visits. I always end the job just relieved it’s over rather than having any sense of accomplishment.

My rule of thumb is, don’t start a a quick handyman job unless I have at least two hours to get it done, because for me there is no such thing as a 5-minute repair.

Off again

In a few hours I fly back ‘home’ to Toronto to visit my mom and sisters. It’s just me going, my family is staying back. It’s hard to believe that I’m already more than 2/3rds through summer and I’m basically back at work after this trip.

That said this has been a rejuvenating summer and will continue to be so on this next trip. I needed this. I really needed this.

Holidays are battery charges and I feel like I’ve already had a good charge. Last school year was filled with new challenges and new health issues and the loss of my dad. Sure I still have a long road ahead with my pinched nerve from a herniated disc, but I am not in pain and I’m on the mend… and I’m on the road again.

This is my third of 4 trips home this summer and the first one where I won’t be in agony, I’m really looking forward to it!

Heading home

It’s our last morning in Kelowna at Bear Creek Campground and it’s quite hazy with smoke. We actually had fantastic, clear days for our holidays, especially compared to 2 years ago when most days we could barely see across the lake.

A highlight of our trip was our daily 35 minute walk on the other side of the highway.

It starts with 149 steps and basically goes up and around a waterfall that you can hear, but not see, on the hike. Another highlight was the waterfall hike.

We love this holiday, and spending it with our friends 2 campsites over makes it all the more wonderful.

Now we are sitting and waiting for the trailer pick-up, (we rent it and have it delivered to our site), and then we start are 4 hour drive home. I find it humorous that Canadians are just about the only people who share distances as time travelled. Kelowna isn’t 373 kilometres away, it’s 4 hours. When you live in a huge country, it doesn’t matter what the kilometres are, it matters how long it takes to get where you are going.

Going home is always bitter sweet. There is a comfort in getting back to home base, but there is also a subtle melancholy about ending your vacation. I say subtle because it’s not as pervasive as the positive memories, but it is present. Unlike heading on holidays, there is no excited anticipation, no thoughts of what’s to come (other than unpacking and laundry), but there is still a positive feel to the journey. Like the cliche ending of a movie where the star rides off into the sunset, there are more stories to come, more adventures for another day, but first, the journey home.

Packing up

It’s amazing how much time we spend preparing to go on a vacation and then preparing to go home. This is especially true camping, but also when flying somewhere.

Whether it’s packing the car or a suitcase, it takes time. Whether driving or flying, it takes time. Holidays are wonderful, but how much of the holidays are spent in transition… from one location to another and from closet to suitcase? Entire days are spent getting to and from a location, settling in, and preparing to leave.

One of our favourite family vacations was to Costa Rica. But we made one mistake on that trip. Three places we stayed at were for only 2 nights. Day one you are traveling, day two is the only full day, and day three you need to get out of your hotel before noon. A better plan is at least 3 nights in a location.

Give yourself two full days to explore a city. If not, you spend more time traveling, unpacking, and repacking, and planning your next stop, than you do actually enjoying yourself.

Our current trailer camping trip was almost 2 weeks, so we didn’t have that problem, but still I’m amazed how much time we spend getting ready to travel both to and from home. The good news is that we won’t be in a rush tomorrow, we are already 90% packed. I’ve enjoyed my trip and look forward to being home… at least I’m looking forward to it after we’ve completely unpacked!

Holiday from the holiday

Ever find that the day after a holiday is a day of recovery? It’s like needing a holiday to rest up from your holiday. I did a few necessary errands, but it’s taken me the whole day to get to my workout and now to writing, and I still haven’t meditated. It’s almost 5pm and I’m making frozen waffles for lunch.

That said, it’s date night at the theatre tonight and so it’s still going to be a great day overall. Yet I can’t help but feel like today was a recovery day. Just wondering if it’s only me or do others struggle with the after-holiday ‘blahs’ even though it feels good to be home?