Tag Archives: home

I’m home

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I officially retired in July. My wife and I had a regular educator’s summer off, then I got busy. First it was Everest The Crunch, then 12 days away for Tofino and the West Coast Trail. Then it was 8 days at home, getting my house back in order after a renovation. Then I just completed 23 beautiful fall days in Ontario including 10 stops and driving over 2,000km.

In other words, I’ve been retired for over three months and I don’t have a clue what a typical retirement day will look like? That starts tomorrow when I head to the gym and get back into a daily routine with things like writing in the morning rather than before I head to bed. Regardless, I think it’s going to be December before I figure everything out.. and even then I’ll probably tweak my schedule well into the new year.

That said, I do need to figure out some good routines. I know myself well enough that if I don’t have routines and systems in place, I can be very unproductive and ultimately unhappy. My extended summer was absolutely wonderful, it also wasn’t sustainable. It’s time to tune back into life at home, and figure out this next year of retirement before my wife joins me.

I’m excited to start this new phase of my life. I don’t have everything figured out yet, but I have a good outline mapped out, I’m willing to experiment, make mistakes, and learn as I go. I’ve already given myself far more grace than I have in the past, so things are already going in the right direction. The big question is, am I going to enjoy the things I think I am going to enjoy or not? I hope so, but I won’t know until I try.

I’m going home

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I’ve been away 43 of the last 51 days. First I was in Tofino, then I did the West Coast Trail before heading back home… and then I took off to Ontario. In the last 22 days in Ontario I’ve moved 10 times and travelled 2,000km in a rental car.

I am thrilled about all my travel, and I can’t wait to get home. I can’t think of anything I would want to take away from my trip and simultaneously feel like I’ve been gone too long. Does that make sense?

I think I feel this way because it’s the longest I’ve travelled without my wife and kids. Meanwhile, I’ve had so many adventures with other people I love to spend time with.

All this to say that the trips I’ve taken have been wonderful, but I really want to go home.

The return

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I had a wonderful holiday break. We got home yesterday and were fully unpacked before bedtime. I met my buddy this morning and went for a workout and then we were back on the Coquitlam Crunch for a couple training walks up it, getting ready for our challenge just two weeks away.

…and that was my entire day.

Isn’t it weird how even after a very relaxing holiday, the first full day home feels like you need to recover from your holiday? Is this just something I experience or do others feel it too?

I’ve heard the expression, ‘I need a holiday to recover from my holiday,’ but that’s usually because you’ve had an action-packed holiday. I did nothing but relax on my holiday. I ate well, I did a wine tour. I enjoyed a short walk to a waterfall. I listened to an audio book. Sure, I exercised a few times, but not a single workout compared to anything I usually do at home.

So how did I come back and feel I had to take the entire afternoon and evening off?

Proximity matters

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I got to see my sister and cousin this weekend. It was so nice to connect. My sister flew in, but my cousin lives 40 minutes to an hour away depending on the time of day I’m travelling there. It’s not far, and yet it is. I remember reading a stat that if you move just an hour away from someone you are likely to see that person more than 80% less than when they lived closer. My visits to my cousin would suggest that stat is higher.

I enjoy the company of him and his wife very much. Good people. Yet I barely see them. It takes my sister flying in to make it happen. Why? Busy lives. Time flies by and an hour drive is 2 hours travel when you also have to go home… well a little less because an evening drive is usually shorter, but still, it’s a lot of driving. It’s the end of April and the next time I’ll see my cousin is probably early July, when I have a gathering planned.

People have asked when I decide to downsize, where would I want to live? I might fantasize about living somewhere tropical but the reality is my wife and I won’t move that far from our kids, and also, we’d like to stay pretty close to where we are now. Why? Because we already don’t see our friends enough, and moving away will just make this harder. Finding time for friends and family is a lot easier when you’re close.

Proximity really matters.

Coming home

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I spent the day travelling today and now I’m home. What a fabulous holiday my wife and I had. It was wonderful to visit with my mom and sister. Unfortunately I spent the entire 10 days with a cough that I still haven’t shaken, but that helped me see the importance of rest.

Normally when a holiday is filled with a lot of down time, I end up feeling guilty, like I wasted the holiday. Not this time. I truly relaxed. I even took time away from my regular routines like meditation and working out… and I did this without the need to beat myself up about it. I just took the time to recover. And as a byproduct, my sciatica has completely gone. I’m not sure if it will return with more activity, but I am thrilled to not feel pain just from standing for a few minutes.

And now I’m home, and the routines return. I’ll be back in the gym early tomorrow. I’ll get back to daily meditation. I’ll start back at work on Monday, ready to enjoy my last 3 months before retirement.

Coming home after a break can often feel like a bit of a slog, but I’m excited to be back, and I’m looking forward to returning to my usual routine… Especially since it’s coming from a desire to get back to my good habits, without beating myself up because I took a bit of time off.

The corner staircase

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I’ve always had this vision of building my own house. I have no experience with architecture, I struggle to build IKEA furniture, and lack basic handyman skills… but I’ve always wanted to design my own dream home. One feature I envision is a staircase in an all-glass corner of the house. It’s kind of a double spiral staircase, and it is designed such that both at the top and the bottom, you walk towards the corner to go both up and down the stairs, and they turn at the halfway point. At the top, you just walk towards the corner and then have a choice of turning either to the left or right. Essentially, you go down about 5 or six steps to a landing where the spiral splits both ways, going away from the corner and along the side walls.

At the bottom of the steps, the first 2 steps create a half circle or crescent, going completely across the corner. Then the stairs spiral left or right with a railing that is only about 6 inches above and behind the second step at the center, and then spirals up with the steps to railing hight by the 4th or 5th step. This creates an empty space on the inside of the spiral, behind the first 2 steps. In this space, underneath the stairs that are coming  down from the floor above, there is a waterfall and then a fish pond in the void behind the spirals.

One more feature is that the wall behind the waterfall has 2 possible positions, one is just less than 90º and the other is just a bit more than 90º. This allows the waterfall to either be a true falls, with water splashing as it lands in the pond, or it can be subtle with water silently sliding down the wall into the pond. So, it’s a wonderful, natural background noise when you want it, but also a subtle trickle when you’d like quiet.

I’ve tried drawing it, but can’t seem to get it right. The AI image I created here is a start of the idea, although not completely what I envision. I’ve tried many times to tweak this image, or use other tools, but I lack the descriptive skills to really get what I want. Still, this would be one feature I’d love to have if I was ever given the chance to design my own house.

Strangers in a familiar land

My wife’s cousin and her husband are visiting from England. They did a bus tour book-ended with family visits. Listening to their itinerary made me realize just how little of BC I’ve actually seen. I’ve now lived in this province for over 30 years and many tourists have seen more of it than me.

I spend so much time thinking about all the countries I want to visit, in order to explore more of the world… and yet I’m a stranger to where I live.

I’m heading home

It’s almost noon and I’m sitting poolside, but in the shade. I had a shower and really don’t want to lather up with sunscreen when I’m going to be taking a cab to the airport in just over an hour. After writing this I’ll put my audio spy novel back on for 20 minutes before heading to a shack restaurant in the strip of restaurants and shops across the street. I’ll order one more delicious breakfast burrito and savour it.

I usually prefer more active holidays, rather than planning my day between pool chairs and meals, but I have say that this was a fabulous trip! I was with great people, and my wife and I had more quality time together than we’ve had in quite some time. It’s easy at home to get busy and live side-by-side lives, without spending enough quality time together. It sometimes takes a holiday to really enjoy each other’s company and not just spend time planning the next thing, the next meal, the next shopping list, the next… and the next, and the next ‘thing’ we need to do.

I’m heading home today, but I hope to be able to find some chill time at home that keeps this holiday-time feeling going, ‘small slices of relaxation every day’ or ‘holidays in a cup’. I won’t have this gorgeous poolside view, but I can still find moments, slices, and tiny tastes of holiday every day.

A five minute job it wasn’t.

Yesterday I changed a toilet seat. It’s a 5 minute job… until I tried to do it. Unfortunately for me one of the old metal screws was rusted and even though the head could take both a flathead and the Robertson square head, they were both stripped in a matter of minutes of trying to use them. Then the plastic bolt got shredded and I was stuck. Exasperating the issue, the toilet is in a tiny alcove and I had to use my phone like a mirror just to see the bolt.

I spent way too long trying to somehow grip the screw head and undo the bold, leaning over the bowl and messing with the bolt I couldn’t directly see. It was futile, but I’m stubborn and continued to waste my time. But it actually wasn’t a complete waste because I shredded the old washer and that provided a little room between the toilet top and the screw head.

What was my next step? I took a new hacksaw blade and stuck it between the toilet top and the screw, and with a tiny 2 to 3-inch back-and-forth motion I cut the screw. It was a process that took over 10 minutes to do. The whole process left an absolute mess to clean up behind the toilet, and from start to finish I was there for close to an hour and a half.

I seem to be cursed when it comes to doing anything ‘handy’. It doesn’t matter what the job is, I end up taking much longer than expected to complete it. Eighteen times longer in this case. I made about 7 or 8 trips to the basement. At least it was only one trip to the hardware store to buy the seat, usually it ends up being 2-3 visits. I always end the job just relieved it’s over rather than having any sense of accomplishment.

My rule of thumb is, don’t start a a quick handyman job unless I have at least two hours to get it done, because for me there is no such thing as a 5-minute repair.

Off again

In a few hours I fly back ‘home’ to Toronto to visit my mom and sisters. It’s just me going, my family is staying back. It’s hard to believe that I’m already more than 2/3rds through summer and I’m basically back at work after this trip.

That said this has been a rejuvenating summer and will continue to be so on this next trip. I needed this. I really needed this.

Holidays are battery charges and I feel like I’ve already had a good charge. Last school year was filled with new challenges and new health issues and the loss of my dad. Sure I still have a long road ahead with my pinched nerve from a herniated disc, but I am not in pain and I’m on the mend… and I’m on the road again.

This is my third of 4 trips home this summer and the first one where I won’t be in agony, I’m really looking forward to it!