Yesterday I changed a toilet seat. It’s a 5 minute job… until I tried to do it. Unfortunately for me one of the old metal screws was rusted and even though the head could take both a flathead and the Robertson square head, they were both stripped in a matter of minutes of trying to use them. Then the plastic bolt got shredded and I was stuck. Exasperating the issue, the toilet is in a tiny alcove and I had to use my phone like a mirror just to see the bolt.
I spent way too long trying to somehow grip the screw head and undo the bold, leaning over the bowl and messing with the bolt I couldn’t directly see. It was futile, but I’m stubborn and continued to waste my time. But it actually wasn’t a complete waste because I shredded the old washer and that provided a little room between the toilet top and the screw head.
What was my next step? I took a new hacksaw blade and stuck it between the toilet top and the screw, and with a tiny 2 to 3-inch back-and-forth motion I cut the screw. It was a process that took over 10 minutes to do. The whole process left an absolute mess to clean up behind the toilet, and from start to finish I was there for close to an hour and a half.
I seem to be cursed when it comes to doing anything ‘handy’. It doesn’t matter what the job is, I end up taking much longer than expected to complete it. Eighteen times longer in this case. I made about 7 or 8 trips to the basement. At least it was only one trip to the hardware store to buy the seat, usually it ends up being 2-3 visits. I always end the job just relieved it’s over rather than having any sense of accomplishment.
My rule of thumb is, don’t start a a quick handyman job unless I have at least two hours to get it done, because for me there is no such thing as a 5-minute repair.
