The push

I’ve been in a workout slump recently. I haven’t stopped working out, it’s just my effort has waned. I’m finding it hard to push myself and get the most out of my workouts. I know it’s just a phase and I’ll get through it, but it’s lasting a bit longer than I hoped.

I mention it because it builds a little fear in me. The lack of drive, of push, scares me a bit. It whispers in my ear, ‘you are getting old’, it says to me, ‘you aren’t an athlete anymore’.

It hits me when I’m doing a short sprint on the treadmill and there is 30 seconds left and I want to shorten the sprint time… Not push through, not muscle it, just end it early. It hits me when I’m on my 3rd set with weights, and I start the set thinking I can get 8 reps, then at 4 reps I’ve already decided I can only do 6… and then I do 5. Or when I know I have more gas in my tank and still I leave a few reps undone, because while I wasn’t at full fatigue, my mind said ‘that’s good enough’, and I can’t push myself anymore.

Part of it might be that I’ve been working out on my own too much and I need some external motivation. It might also just be a slump. But it eats away at my confidence. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that makes the next push experience harder.

I’m confident that I’ll find my focus again, and I know that the fact that I’m still showing up and not letting this discourage my commitment is a real positive. But I have to say that this slump has been mentally challenging for me. I want to feel I’ve left nothing in reserves after I finish a set or a sprint. I want to really feel ‘the push’ again.

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