Tag Archives: communication

A world of meetings

Today is the first day in a while that I don’t have an 8:30am neeting, but I have one at 9, a long one at 10, then 12, 12:30. And 1pm. For almost four and a half hours I’ll be sitting at my desk staring at my computer screen in meetings. That’s less than what I had yesterday. And yesterday, I ended up on 3 one-on-one conversations with teachers, and a phone call with a student as well. I barely got out of my chair.

I know things will settle down. I value much of the work being done in many of these meetings, but right now I feel like these meetings are equally a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I still get to connect with colleagues and video helps me feel far more connected than voice alone. Cursed because many meetings could just be informational meetings take 1/10th of the time.

Spending 4-6 hours a day in meetings is not efficient or effective, and some days even small ‘to do’ lists are taken home, or added to tomorrow’s list.

What’s really making this tough is that when I normally have days like this, I can take a break by walking down the hall and checking in on kids. I can peek in on teachers teaching a class. I can sit in a busy staff room and join a conversation. My daily 12:30 meeting is a staff check-in organized by the teachers and still feels like this, but for the most part I miss the opportunities to connect with students and teachers in a busy school… and I’m getting a bit tired of non-stop meetings.

Are we Social Distancing or Physical Distancing?

Disclaimer: Continue Social Distancing as recommended by health professionals! I’m not talking about changing practice, only changing perspective! We all need to do our part to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

A couple days ago, I wrote about how Connecting Online is Easier Than Ever:

The social distancing due to Covid-19 has been challenging, and getting outside once a day for a walk has made me feel a little boxed in. But we live in a time when it is easier than ever to connect with people online.

Since then I’ve come across the term ‘Physical Distancing’ a lot more. This is really the issue. Reducing or actually eliminating our physical proximity to others long enough that the virus doesn’t spread. However, we can still be social in the digital world. Video helps. It’s nice to see the people we connect with. 

More than ever, I think this is a time to be social and to not let the idea of being isolated get you down. As we head into a long period of physically distancing ourselves, I think we should find ways to connect with people socially. Be intentional and thoughtful, whether connecting for fun, for learning, or for work… but no matter what your intention, make sure that you make the time to be more social and to connect in ways that meet your needs to spend time with others.

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Change of plans

Starting today I was going to write a 7-day series on 7 Virtues, like I did on the 7 Sins. I totally don’t feel like doing that right now. Also, I thought I was going to give myself a social media break… but I kinda want to stay connected now, so I’m not doing that either. What I am doing is leaving my phone behind on family walks… but I’m not going dark now when Social Distancing for Coronavirus is making feel disconnected enough.

So what now? I’m going to experiment with getting connected with people online and doing some video chats and podcasts. I might put out some quick videos. I’m going to share my #SDFitnessChallenge progress.

What I’m not going to do is lock myself into 7 days of writing on specific topics. And while I’ll put my phone away for parts of the day, I’m not locking myself away from digital connections. This is a time to experiment, do some new things, stay connected… and learn.

The time for regular routines will be back soon enough, for now I’ll keep things open, and try something new on a regular basis. Tonight, it will be handstand push-ups, inspired by Kelly Christopherson (@kellywchris).

If you’ve been letting ‘Social Distancing’ isolate you, it’s time for a change of plans… reach out to someone, reach out to me… connect, learn something new, get fitter… enjoy the time you never thought you would have. Be great.

Adopting tools in a transformative rather than additive way

Years ago I was doing a presentation to high school educators and things didn’t go as planned:

I started my presentation and within 30 seconds the power went out. I picked up my laptop and said to the 100+ audience members, “Ok, everybody gather around here.” 😉

I started a conversation about ‘What tech tool can’t you live without, that didn’t exist 5 years ago… and by the time people had discussed this with their neighbours and we started sharing as a group the power turned on… “POP” … that would be the sound of the ceiling mounted LCD light bulb burning out.

That’s when I asked a new question: “How many of you have had the experience before of having a lesson planning epiphany… suddenly you are up late at night planning… you head into the school before class starts in the morning and when you get to the photocopier… it’s BROKEN! ~Most teachers raised their hands.

“So, keep your hands up if you said something like, ‘That’s it, I’m never using the photocopier again?’ ~All hands went down.

Sometimes ‘technology’, be it a photocopier, a presentation, or even a pen doesn’t work.

Other times the technology is new, and different, and not intuitively transformative. That doesn’t mean the tool can’t be transformative, it just means it’s hard to see the benefit or the value.

This afternoon a good friend and educational leader, Dave Sands, and I will be presenting to principal and vice principal colleagues. We will be sharing the value we see in using Microsoft Teams with our staff in schools.

For some people this is just one more tool to add to the list of other things they need to look at in a day… it doesn’t add value, it adds work. However Dave and I see it differently. We see how this tool can change workflow in a positive way, making it an effective way to streamline communication with different teams of people that you work with. Here are a few key points about how a tool like Microsoft Teams can be transformative:

1. It can reduce and be more efficient than email.

Have you ever shared an email that requires a response from a group of people? Some ‘Reply All’, some don’t. And you’ve got to figure out what’s what, and collate the information while responses trickle in.

Have you ever shared information with a group and one-by-one people ask the same clarifying question that you end having to respond to individually?

Have you received an email from someone that you wish you looked at sooner than you did, but instead you were dealing with 30+ other emails that came in after that?

Using Teams contextualizes conversations. It allows you to keep responses public to the team, and to clarify responses in contained conversations rather than scattered throughout email. It also allows you to prioritize your teams over the most recent items in your email inbox.

2. Using Teams creates a shared learning space within your community.

Have you ever worked as a staff on professional development, sharing paper resources that never get looked at again? Then someone shares a great resource through email, but that resource stays in your email?

My staff has created channels within a Team to work on our professional development. We co-create the notes, share files, and publicly follow through with our plans. Afterwards if someone adds anything, everyone has that resource available within the context of the learning that happened, not lost in email.

3. You are working with a team of people in other buildings and you don’t see them often.

Email is brutal for this. Conversations get scattered, supporting each other is challenging, it doesn’t feel like you are a community. When you create a Team with this group, everything is shared in one public space. When a question is asked, the whole team is there to respond, and resource sharing is easy. It shifts the environment from a broken up group into a shared community.

That’s three quick examples of how a tool like Teams can be more effective than other tools like email, but it requires shifting practice to be truly transformative. If you are communicating with your team or staff using both Teams and email, then you are being ineffective and adding more to your plate. But if you replace communicating through email with Teams, now you have a few key advantages you didn’t have before:

  • You can actually prioritize the people within your community that you want to give your attention to by going to teams first, before dealing with the most recent and often erroneous emails at the top of your inbox.
  • Communication on Teams is public to your team, and responses are easily clarified for everyone.
  • You can embed forms where everyone can see everyone else’s responses.
  • You can easily switch to the private chat function when information becomes relevant to just one or a few people.
  • You can use the @name function to specially address a person or a whole Team.
  • You can build a sense of community and support that email does not provide.
  • Conversations are contextual. I can prioritize what I look at first, at a glance, not just by the most recent items.
  • You can reduce the amount of email you get! My email has gone down by more than 1/3 since adopting Teams.

For me the ability to prioritize my teams in a space outside of email, and reducing the amount of emails I get, have been the greatest benefits to moving to Microsoft Teams.

Note: I share expectations and etiquette with my teams about how and where to communicate. It’s a good idea with any new tool to make the intentions and expectations about how to use the tool clear. Otherwise, the tool isn’t transformative, it’s just one more shiny new thing to check, without really seeing the value in using it.

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Related: Transformative or just flashy educational tools? (Written almost a decade ago.)

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Also shared on my Pair-a-Dimes for Your Thoughts blog

Purposeful Contributions

Yesterday I was part of a meeting with teachers offering a new course this year. Teachers and administrators (principals or vice principals) from each high school were there, and the VP in charge had us go around the table sharing. When it was my turn, I passed it over to one of my teachers who supports this course online. Since she works closely with the Inquiry Hub teacher who teaches the course, and she knows the content of the course better than I do, I knew she would do a better job than me sharing.

The next round, the conversation was more specific about delivery in the schools. When it got to me, I realized that in the context of both the online school and Inquiry Hub, nothing I could share would benefit a school of 1,000+ students, like the other schools that were sharing. So, I passed when it was my turn.

Anyone who has been in a meeting with me knows that I am not afraid to speak up or speak out. I’m happy to share my thoughts, ask a question, or present an idea. But I don’t need to hear my own voice. There was nothing I could have added to the conversation that would have benefited others.

The meeting was excellent. I think everyone left knowing a lot more than when they came, and my online teacher is creating a shared repository for all the teachers to contribute to, and benefit from. I definitely benefited more from listening than talking, and think that I would not have added value by saying more… I would have wasted the time of the group.

Moral of the story: Make positive and purposeful contributions, or shut up and listen.

The Dalai Lama is a bit more eloquent:

When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.

The Dalai Lama

Rhythm and Rapport

I felt it. I mean I really felt it. A rhythmic wave resonated throughout my body. Before this moment I had enjoyed music but I never had it consume me so completely. And I was surrounded by others who felt the same way.

It was the early summer of 1992, and I was 24 years old. My uncle had introduced me to an NLP teacher, paying for me to take his course, and I loved it. NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming is about harnessing communication patterns, that we all use, in more effective and powerful ways. The course I was in was very interesting because it seemed as if half the people were there to learn to be more effective and the other half seemed to be there for therapy.

The 9-day course started on a Saturday and ran daily from 8am to 4pm through the week and into the second weekend. It was the Friday morning and we were told we were in for a treat. We were taken to a small room filled with drums, shakers, tambourines, cow bells and assorted traditional music makers. The lesson was on rapport and we were going to use music to demonstrate it.

I think there were about 18 of us in this small room and we were broken up into groups of 2, 3, and 4, depending on the number of similar instruments. I don’t remember if we ended up with 5 or 6 groups. Next, each group was given a different beat to play. For instance, the cow bell players got tap-tap, tap-tap, pause, tap-tap, while a few drummers got a beat of 1-2, 1-2-3, 1-2-3-4, 1-2. That second example would have been the most complicated of the options with most others being quite simple.

We got counted down and everyone started playing their own beat in their groupings. As someone that doesn’t have musical training, it was good to have other people playing the same beat as me so that I could follow along and not be too distracted by the other groups. That said it was a ruckus in this small room. To put it kindly, we were making noise, horrible and loud clattering, pounding, clanging, dinging noise. It was awful.

I understood that we were supposed to build rapport and the music was somehow supposed to come together but it didn’t. There was just noise. We switched instruments and tried again. Noise. We switched beats. Noise. We switched instruments again, and I was given cow bells. More noise.

We were tired, and we were overwhelmed with the echo of instruments clamouring out of synch, and then something interesting happened. A professional dance instructor that was taking the course had a big gourd shaker in his hand, he stepped forward into the middle of our circle and connected with an older man on drums. This older gentleman that the dancer connected with was a retired music teacher. They sped up the beat slightly and I could hear their individual beats come together as if they were one pattern. The dancer with the gourd shaker was dancing to their beat and my beat fell into synch with his feet.

That was the moment it happened for me, and it was obvious that it was happening for everyone else in the room… our noise became music. But this was so much more than music, it was a wave of sound that reverberated through my body. I watched the dancer and realized that his gourd and feet were the backbone of the beat. We were all following his lead. Then I looked at the retired musician’s drum and I realized that it was him driving the beat. Then I looked at my cow bells and realized it was me that was leading the beat. Then I really understood what was happening. We were in perfect unison, we were one.

None of us were in the lead. All of us were in the lead. This was full rapport. We were all connected, all one beat, all one musical experience. We built up the sound to a full crescendo, it was all-consuming, bordering on ecstasy. There was a countdown, 3-2-1, and we all stopped playing. The instant silence was a final exclamation on an overwhelmingly beautiful experience. For the first time in my life I had felt, truly and to my core felt, the sound of music.

Missing out – The Art of Miscommunication

I believe that most miscommunication results from being out of context, out of place, or our of time.

Examples:

Context – Someone uses acronyms with people that are not familiar with them.

Place – Someone gives their boss marching orders.

Time  – Someone explains something everyone already found out about.

I think that a lot of news outlets intentionally focus on, or omit information from, one of these areas in order to entice, excite, anger, and/or engage viewers and readers.

While being ‘out of’ one of these makes for a great plot for a comedy, it is not ideal when we want to be fully informed, or if we want our team, or our customers, or our students to be fully informed.

The next time you are frustrated, ask yourself what you are missing out on?

 

3 sides to every story

It was my sister many years ago who said this to me the first time, but I’ve heard it many times since. There are 3 sides to every story: The first person’s perspective, the second person’s perspective, and somewhere in between there is the Truth.

We all want to feel that our experience is the Truth, but in reality we can’t always see where the other person is coming from. Relationships often have perceived truths that limit us from seeing the full Truth that lies in the middle. Our bias doesn’t have to come from malice, it can come from innocent ignorance. But when we see the bigger Truth, when we are reflecting back on a conversation, we can sometimes see our own flaws in perspective if we are honest with ourselves.

When this happens, we need to decide if it is more important to come back with the new Truth (or at least our perspective of it), or is it more important to concede that our truth was wrong, and think about how holding on to that truth affected the other person? Because even at this new juncture there might still be 3 sides to the story. Pause and reflect again. Maybe the relationship is more important than the Truth?

Opportunities not Obligations

Opportunities not obligations

We live in an era of obligations. Even the things we enjoy doing can sometimes feel more like a commitment and a chore. Then on top of that something else always seems to come up:

“No, unfortunately I can’t join you, I have my fitness class.”

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“Sorry, I’d love to, but I’m working late.”

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“I really wish I could, but I already have another obligation.”

While sometimes ‘I wish I could’ is actually, ‘thank the heavens I didn’t have to’, many times things come up that we really want to do, but our busy lives don’t allow it. You might have to turn down concert tickets, dinner, a beverage, or a dip in a hot tub. You really want to do these things but you have no choice but to apologize for not being able to indulge.

Recently, when I’ve provided opportunities for friends to connect, the moment they are unsure or can’t make it I say, “It’s an opportunity, not an obligation.” This does two things:

  1. It removes the need for an apology. No one is being let down. No one needs to feel guilty. You aren’t turning down an obligation, you simply had an opportunity presented and the opportunity is not one that can be taken advantage of at this time.
  2. It removes my own disappointment. It decreases expectations, and I don’t particularly like hearing my friends or colleagues apologize unnecessarily. It leaves me in a positive frame of mind. This opportunity didn’t work, I wonder if we can find another one soon?

You are not obligated to try this out yourself. Feel free to keep doing what you are doing if that works for you. However, you might want to try saying, ‘It’s an opportunity, not an obligation’, the next time a friend guiltily apologizes for not being able to meet with you. You have an opportunity to make that exchange feel better for both of you.

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Update: March 9, 2022 – More thinking on this topic: Opportunity not Obligation revisited

Reducing email

Here is something that I’ve done the past couple years with my staff, to help reduce email.

I have a slide that I present to (all 3 of) my schools in one of the few meetings I have with them all together. This slide, and my description of it, breaks down how to connect with me:

1. Can it wait for a face-to-face meeting? If so, no need to do any of the items below.

2. Call me. I get a phone call, it means come now! This doesn’t happen often, but it happens.

3. Text me. I’m trying to reduce this with #4, but if you need an answer, or would like me to come, without it being an emergency, a text is fine.

4. Microsoft Teams. No more ‘reply-all’ discussions in email! Teams has 2 key benefits to email. First, the conversations are contextualized – I have no idea what’s coming in for email, but when I have a notification in one of my teams, I know the group and topic of the message. Secondly, my teams get priority over the most recent email.

Also, rather that texts, @message me on Teams… I’m going to look here first, before email, to deal with my teams first.

5. Email. Really only used to follow up on emails from outside the teams, such as a parent asking a question or sharing something to be shared with me.

My final point, I describe a couple very specific circumstances to ‘double-dip’ (such as texting me to deal with a very sensitive email communication that I should address quickly). But, in general I emphasize that double-dipping shouldn’t happen. Choose one means of communication for a specific issue.

What I’m hoping to achieve isn’t less communication with my team, but rather more focussed and timely communication with them. This does not happen when their communication is buried in my email.