Tag Archives: caring

Good people

I was reminded yesterday that there are a lot of good people in this world. I’m not going to share the thing that led me to this, it’s not my story to tell. But the world seems pretty messed up right now. There is strife, upset, and war dominating our news feeds. And yesterday the kindness of strangers made a difference for a person I care about.

In our day to day experience we meet so many good people. We work with good people. We walk by good people. We spend our free time with good people. I watched a news clip about a Canadian woman who flew to the Ukraine to help support displaced orphans. Good people.

There are so many good people in this world. You are probably one of them. Thank you. And yes, I’m talking to YOU. Not some other person, you. Thank you for being inherently good. It makes a difference to the people you are surrounded by… and thus it makes a difference in the world.

You are good people. 😀

A quick thought on the new school year

For a large number of us the new school year brings excitement and possibilities. There is so much potential in a new school year, so many future opportunities to learn and grow.

It’s just good to remember that this is also a time of great anxiety and nervousness for some students. It’s a time of unknowns, and unfamiliarity, and fear.

It’s easy to get lost in the enthusiasm of students who are excited, and while this is wonderful and fully encouraged… remember that someone hesitant to join in an activity isn’t necessarily being difficult or noncompliant. Sometimes just coming to school is all the effort they can give.

We don’t always know what a kid is capable of, or what a kid needs, until we get to know the kid. And for some kids, it takes a while to get there… time they deserve to be given. A school year is a marathon rather than a sprint. Let’s make sure we give the slow starters the time, encouragement, care, and support they need to get to the finish line. Because it isn’t just getting to the finish line that’s important, it’s the journey there that really matters.

Smooth rocks and glass

“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.”

― Lao Tzu

This seems to be a time of strong dichotomies, where people hold to their principles and biases. The response to opposing sides runs along two lines, harsh or sarcastic. I would argue that sarcasm is just another form of harsh. In both cases, there is no attempt to win over the other side, merely to call it stupid, or to make fun of it. Neither is an attempt to convince because it is believed that it is too late, that people are too set in their ways.

But compassion, though appearing to be soft, is strong. Authentically caring may seem yielding, but it is strong. “Be like water“. This is not a time to win points, to be louder, to be right in such a way that you only want to prove someone else to be wrong. It is a time to be soft, caring, and kind. To show genuine concern for others. This will not work for everyone, but it will be far more effective than being harsh or sarcastic.

The tides will ebb and flow, and the sharp edges of rocks and glass will slowly be rounded.

What the new year does and does not bring

The new year brings an end to a difficult year.

The new year does not bring any tangible changes as a result of our planet crossing an arbitrary point in our rotation around the sun.

The new year brings hope, for a heard immunity against Covid-19, thanks to a number of different vaccines.

The new year does not bring any immediate relief from the spread of Covid-19, with a greater threat of spread due to a more contagious new variant coming out of the UK.

The new year brings resolutions and promises of self-improvement and ambitious goals.

The new year does not bring any promise of fulfilling these new goals without a dedicated effort to change habits and behaviours.

The new year brings a political and ideological shift in power in the United States.

The new year does not bring a promise of less divisiveness in the American people who seem too ideologically divided.

The new year brings inconsistent approaches to dealing with the virus, from being scarily too open to being confusingly too locked down.

The new year does not bring any promise of clarity about how best to deal with the virus while we wait for widespread vaccine distribution.

The new year brings continued paranoia and conspiracy filled misinformation, shared virally on social media.

The new year does not bring any way to meaningfully combat the spread of bad ideas.

The new year brings anticipation for a better year than 2020.

The new year brings promise of post pandemic world.

The new year brings opportunity for positive change.

The new year brings us more of the same, unless we choose to think, say, and act differently.

Let’s be different, better, more loving, kind, and caring… to ourselves, our community, and our environment. We do not get to choose the world we live in, but we do get to choose our impact on it and those in our community we share it with.

A simple question

It’s a simple question, but one that somebody you know needs to hear.

How are you doing? Really?

I’m not sure who it is you need to ask this. It might be at home, at school, at work. Just follow your instinct and ask the question.

Then listen. Full on listen, without judgment or a desire to share how you can relate. Just listen.

And if it’s you that needs to hear it, how are you doing?

I’d rather be a sheep than a lemming

Dear anti-masker,

Go ahead and call me sheeple. You might think of me as easily influenced or docile. You might think I’m willing to give up my rights to follow the crowd. Sheep find comfort in community, and the herd helps others to be safe, not just themselves… kinda like masks do.

At least I’m not lemming, running off a dangerous cliff because others are doing the same. I’m not willing to endanger others with my choice of behaviour.

Now in reality lemmings aren’t really suicidal, and people thinking about their community doesn’t make them sheeple. In fact, most communal animals are very community minded and they do their part to keep their community safe.

It pains me to see something like this happening in Toronto. This isn’t community minded, it isn’t considerate of others. It’s metaphorical lemmings, except they aren’t just jumping off the edge, they are pulling the weakest and most vulnerable along with them.

How are you doing?

Really, how are you?

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

Who are you making an effort to connect with, to call rather than text, to see on video rather than just hear on an audio call?

What are your eating habits like?

Are you following an exercise routine? Going for walks?

Are you getting enough sleep?

Are you asking for or seeking help if you need it?

We have more to offer others when we first care for ourselves.

The power of a good teacher

Last night I asked this question onTwitter:

I didn’t know that I would become a teacher until I was almost 30, so I can’t say that any teachers influenced me to become a teacher, but I had many that inspired the kind of teacher I wanted to be.

Mr. Lapoint taught me not to be a marshmallow in class, and I started my career telling kids to speak up, go beyond the expected answers, and to not be marshmallows. That said, this motorcycle loving hippie was tough as nails and had high expectations… and scared me a little.

Mrs. Lane taught me to love fiction and helped me find my writing voice. She was one of my favourites and I think of her as inspiring me to be the kind of teacher I want to be.

Mrs. Forster made me appreciate social studies. She also stepped up to coach a sport she knew nothing about, and encouraged me to become a player coach… in a way this was inspiration to becoming a teacher since continuing on as a coach is where my passion for working with kids came from.

Mr. Towe taught me that I have a creative side.

Mr. Harrison made learning fun.

I had other teachers that influenced me and helped me know what kind of teacher I wouldn’t want to be, but that’s not the spirit with which I started this post and I won’t mention any names.

Mr. Greven was never my teacher, but he taught in the high school where I worked as a lifeguard and coach, and he came to work every day whistling with joy. And when a kid was late with an assignment, he would tap me and ask me to nudge the kid, because he knew I had a good relationship with them as their coach.

Overall, I had many good and great teachers, and while they may not be the reason I became a teacher, they gave me respect for the profession, and left me with positive learning experiences.

Teachers make a difference!

Vulnerability can be a double edged sword.

This morning I did my second outdoor run (read light jog) since breaking kneecap at the end of February. I’m staying at my sister’s place down at the beeches near Queen Street, and jogged the board walk. It was early and fairly empty. Weird feeling to watch a man, a good 15+ years my senior, jog past me at a pace slower than I usually run. But I’ve been rehabilitating this knee for too long to do something stupid to acquiesce my ego.

After the jog I stopped at a bench to do my knee exercises with some other workout exercises in between and the walked up the hill home. At that point I decided to do my Calm App meditation while walking. At the end of each meditation Tamara Levitt always does a little lesson and today’s was about Vulnerability.

I enjoy these lessons and appreciate the insights Tamara shares, but today I struggled with the lesson. The main example Tamara gave was when someone at work asks how you are doing, and not giving the typical, ‘fine’, ‘ok’, or ‘busy’ response. Instead pause, and be willing to be vulnerable and share how you really feel.

While I appreciate how that could help someone who is struggling and feeling isolated, if this colleague is just an acquaintance, and not necessarily a true friend, it could make things worse.

We are all vulnerable in different ways, but to me vulnerability is not a good thing to share too openly. I’ve seen way too many bullying issues start because a student showed their vulnerability with the wrong kids, and grownups aren’t always much better.

It’s a double edged sword because if you hide your vulnerability and struggles from everyone, you are missing out on the love and support you could get in a time of need. However, if you are too open, the very vulnerability you are sharing could make you susceptible to being targeted, or the topic of gossip, and more in need of a real confident to share your vulnerabilities with!

Be vulnerable when you need to with those you trust and love… but beyond that, be thoughtful and careful.

Being intentionally kind

Be intentional with your kindness:

• Look a person in the eye and smile, as you hold the door open for them.

• Turn and listen, after asking ‘how are you?’

• Say ‘please’ to start your sentence, rather than as an ending afterthought.

It’s easy to confuse politeness with kindness, but while kindness is almost always polite, politeness isn’t always kind.

Being present, recognizing and acknowledging the person you are with, and showing genuine appreciation, is kind.

There is no mistake that you are being both polite and kind, when you are being intentionally kind.