Tag Archives: respect

Career spanning wisdom

Leave a reply

When I shared this story with my Principal and Vice Principal colleagues this morning, I joked that I’d blogged about it previously. However, while I was able to find a couple references to the story, I realized after a search of my blogs that I have not shared the full story before.

This morning was our final face-to-face meeting of the year, and our assistant superintendents shared a few words about retirees before each retiree got a chance to say something. I shared this story.

~

It was early on in my teaching career, long before I knew if I’d ever get into administration, and so I didn’t know the impact this conversation would have on me.

I was teaching a class about 10-15 minutes after lunch when a good student, Garrett, showed up at my door. He didn’t show up after lunch and I just assumed he signed out, this is not a kid who would skip a class. I looked up at him as if to ask ‘Where were you?’ And his face sunk as he said, “I got in trouble.”

We had the attention of the whole class and I didn’t want him to have to share what happened in front of everyone. “Have a seat,” I said, “We’ll talk about it later,” and then I caught him up on what he missed. The day ended and I totally forgot to follow up with him, so around 4pm I headed down to the office to learn about what Garrett had done.

When I got down to the office our Vice Principal, Gary Kern, was just finishing up with a student. I didn’t teach this student, but I knew of him. In fact, just a couple months before this, I saw this student being arrested with a man, who I think was his dad, outside of a neighbourhood grocery store. As this student walked out of the office, Gary trailed behind him, shaking his head with a bit of an exasperated expression on his face.

I asked what Garrett got in trouble for? Gary said it wasn’t a big deal, he and a friend were horsing around at lunch and Garrett pushed his friend, who fell back and hit his head on a tree. It was witnessed by a noon-hour supervisor who brought the kids to the office, and the only follow up was an apology. Then Gary said something and I carried this ‘lesson’ with me for my entire career.

Gary said, “This job has taught me a new respect for the kid I’d never want to be.”

He continued, ‘Your kid, Garrett, I’d trade lives with him… Good family, respectful, plays hockey, good friends.’

‘…This other kid? No way I’d want his life. This job teaches you to provide a kid, who you’d never switch lives with, with forgiveness, understanding, and respect, because if you wouldn’t want to be them, they deserve a break.’

I know my colleagues understood this when I shared it with them. I went on to share how this impacted me. And I thanked all of my colleagues for their understanding of this idea. I thanked them for not treating kids like life is baseball and knowing when a kid deserves more than 3 strikes. I thanked them for being a student’s advocate and for treating a kid with dignity and respect, even when the kid’s parent didn’t treat them the same way. I thanked them for all they do to support the needs of the students in their community, and thus making our entire community better.

~

I can’t tell you how many times I thought of this conversation with Gary in my career, but I will say that this was a frame of reference that I held with me, and reminded myself of time and again. It gave me strength when I felt frustrated. It allowed me deal with angry people, and to not take a kid’s attitude personally.

Now, at the end of my career, I can say that Gary was absolutely correct, “This job has taught me a new respect for the kid I’d never want to be.” Because that’s the kid that needs us to be their advocate.

Transparency Versus Need To Know

Leave a reply

There seems to be an inverse relationship between the higher up you go in an organization and how transparent decisions are. Yet most organization claim to be striving for transparency.

“It gets complicated.”

“We can’t appear to…”

“We don’t want people thinking that…”

“We wouldn’t get buy-in if we admitted these are the reasons…”

“Our customer wouldn’t understand…”

“That wouldn’t align with our messaging…”

These are all justifications while simultaneously touting that, “We value transparency.”

No you don’t. You value being perceived as valuing transparency. But the reality is that transparency means that you admit that you were wrong. Transparency is explaining an unpopular decision because you feel it is the right decision. Transparency is not hiding the uncomfortable truth.

Sure, there are things that should only be shared on a need to know basis, but other than for respect and privacy reasons, most of those less frequently shared things would not be a secret in a truly transparent organization. And it’s not just customers but employees who would appreciate transparency, and maybe feel more valued in the process.

Abnormally Normal

Leave a reply

If I wanted to make light of the sense I’m feeling, I’d say that I feel ‘a disturbance in the force’. Or I’d reference that meme of a dog in a house fire, sitting at a table having coffee, as if the world is fine.

But the new normal is not normal. The dichotomy of politics, the hatred between religious extremists, the focus on vengeance and public shaming in social media, police violence against citizens, the inability to share middle-ground opinions without fear of being ‘othered’ by both sides of the political dichotomy… it’s like we’ve slipped into a dystopian movie, and we are left wondering if this is real life?

It is.

We are bearing witness. We are seeing the collapse of modern society. Sovereignty used to matter, it doesn’t matter anymore. Neighbourly love used to matter, it doesn’t anymore. The rule of law used to matter, it doesn’t anymore. Civility, etiquette, respect, and even kindness used to matter, they don’t matter anymore.

And yet in our day-to-day not much is different. We can rant because we don’t like what we see, or we can move forward blissfully and blind to the world beyond our own existence. Our tolerances vary, but the shenanigans that alter what’s normal in society seem to slip greater into the abnormal without us being able to influence it in any way.

Pick a decade after WWII and tell me how it was more abnormal than what we are seeing today. I can’t.

When I say, “We are seeing the collapse of modern society,” I am not being hyperbolic. I’ve only mentioned social/political abnormalities, without mentioning climate change, microplastics, artificial intelligence, or even cost of living and the decline of the middle class. Factor all these things in and the new normal is anything but normal. Except that’s exactly the point… somehow this is what normal is.

It’s your job

Leave a reply

I heard a great quote today, ‘Nobody will ever love you exactly the way you want… Because that’s your job.’

It reminds me of an insightful question, “Would you hang out with a person who speaks to you the way you speak to yourself?’

We can be our own worst critics, and yet it costs us nothing to appreciate ourselves rather than put ourselves down. That doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be better. It’s not about accepting mediocrity. It is however an opportunity for us to find value and appreciation in who we are and what we accomplish.

It starts with acceptance, and ultimately self-love. There are enough critics in the world, it doesn’t make sense that the one you hear the most is yourself. It’s ultimately your job to love you first. And when you’ve humbly, yet sincerely achieved that, the love of others is sure to follow.

Honouring Ceremony

Last night I went to our district’s Indigenous Education Grad Honouring Ceremony. It’s a celebration of heritage and culture. It reminds me that we need to make sure that we provide spaces for people of all backgrounds to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be honoured.

This seems particularly prescient with what is happening south of our border. Using book-banning in Texas as an example, individual communities can decide what books are acceptable and not acceptable to be in schools. Books about different cultures or life choices can be banned simply because the majority are not in favour of them. I am dumbfounded that this is something happening in 2025. But it is.

Inclusion, acceptance, tolerance, and ultimately kindness and love are all being threatened. I grew up in a very multicultural family. We celebrated our differences through food, and at meal time everyone was always welcome. That was our way of honouring. We welcomed you even if your potato salad had raisins in it. But jokes aside, I see what’s happening in the States right now and it scares me.

Our work is not done yet. Inequities still fall along heritage lines, and injustices of the past are far from reconciled. And in this polarized environment, we need events like our Indigenous Education Grad Honouring Ceremony to remind us to celebrate our differences, respect and value heritage, and provide an avenue where the cultures and heritage of our youth are not only respected, but revered and truly honoured.

Here we go

The school year begins. 180 school days.

I am nervous about the balance of things: work/home life/exercise; leadership/management; priorities/budgets; teaching & learning; support & independence; planning & follow through; time & efficiency.

I may be nervous but I can feel the potential… the promise of a great year ahead. Physiologically there is almost no difference between anxious nervousness and excitement. So I’ll reframe my thinking, I am excited.

I hope all educators are equally excited. We are in an incredible occupation. We change lives. We make learning fun and engaging. And our teaching goes well beyond the curriculum. We don’t teach subjects, we teach kids. We teach kindness, collaboration, cooperation, and creativity. We don’t just teach classes, we teach young adults who want to do well, who soar, who struggle, and who do the best with the resources they have.

Some come to us full of support and resources, others come to us with much less. The less the resources, the more compassion we need. The greater the challenge, the more patience we must have. The more we are challenged, the higher we must rise.

We can be the purveyor of the status quo, or we can be the change agents we want to be. It all begins today… here we go!

— — —

I wrote the following in 2011:

My Open Educator Manifesto

‘We’ educate future citizens of the world

Teaching is my professional practice

I Share by default

I am Open, Transparent, Collaborative, and Social

My students own their own:   (Learning)

• learning process

• learning environment

• learning products

• learning assessment

My students belong to learning networks

Every student deserves customized learning

• Student voice

• Student choice

Every educator deserves customized learning

I have high expectations

I Care, Share, and Dare

I am a role model

I am the change I want to see in Education!

We teach values

Mathematician and philosopher Gian-Carlo Rota on teaching: “A good teacher does not teach facts, he or she teaches enthusiasm, open-mindedness and values.” Source: Indiscrete Thoughts

I remember once, early in my career, the topic of abortion came up in my class. It was a student that brought it up as we were discussing debating skills. I decided that I wouldn’t share my opinion. I would let the class make their own choice. That they deserve to decide for themselves.

It was at that moment I realized that I was telling them my choice. I was sharing my values.

We can’t teach without sharing our values. To pretend otherwise is ignorant. And so we should be thoughtful about the values we choose to share.

We need to value kindness, forgiveness, and openness to new and different ideas. We need to value effort. We need to show that when we discipline bad behaviour, we are disappointed in the behaviour not the child. We need to be restorative, not punitive. Patient, not easily frustrated. Willing to admit we are wrong. Tough with our expectations, but supportive rather than combative when expectations are not met.

Our values define the kind of teachers we are… and we pass those values on to our students whether we think we do or not.

TJ’s Story

Today we will wear our orange shirts. At Inquiry Hub, students will be wearing ones with a design by one of our students with indigenous heritage, Madison D.

On Orange Shirt Day 3 years ago, I shared this on Facebook:

Tomorrow will be the first Truth and Reconciliation Day holiday. We are moving forward, and people will remember.

The wrong hill to die on

I came across this Tweet and felt compelled to discuss it,

“Can someone please explain why a student wearing a hat or a hood in class is so bad?

Why is that a hill so many teachers are willing to die on?” @ryanr_lester

I’ve worked in schools where ‘No hats’ was the rule, I’ve worked, and still work, in schools where it doesn’t. Students appreciate the freedom to wear hoodies and hats, and while I’ve dealt with policing this in schools where it is policed, I can’t think of an instance where this was a major issue in the schools where it isn’t.

Could a kid pull the rim of a hat down low to hide their face? Yes, but that might be something that helps them cope in a stressful situation, and that might also be something a teacher addresses… it depends on the moment. And if you think that moment that needs addressing would have vanished if the hat wasn’t on, well then you probably haven’t worked with that many kids who would do this… they would find another way.

Rules like this are about control and compliance, masked as issues of respect. Respect is neither earned nor demonstrated through control and compliance.

This is an uphill battle. You are better off choosing a different hill, and taking the high ground.

I’d rather be a sheep than a lemming

Dear anti-masker,

Go ahead and call me sheeple. You might think of me as easily influenced or docile. You might think I’m willing to give up my rights to follow the crowd. Sheep find comfort in community, and the herd helps others to be safe, not just themselves… kinda like masks do.

At least I’m not lemming, running off a dangerous cliff because others are doing the same. I’m not willing to endanger others with my choice of behaviour.

Now in reality lemmings aren’t really suicidal, and people thinking about their community doesn’t make them sheeple. In fact, most communal animals are very community minded and they do their part to keep their community safe.

It pains me to see something like this happening in Toronto. This isn’t community minded, it isn’t considerate of others. It’s metaphorical lemmings, except they aren’t just jumping off the edge, they are pulling the weakest and most vulnerable along with them.