Author Archives: David Truss

The challenge of hindsight

Recently I had a student come to me for advice. He played a joke on a friend, and then kept the joke going digitally on a digital discussion board. It wasn’t a bullying issue, there wasn’t a power struggle. But the kid who came to me recognized that his friend was struggling a bit and he felt that his joke added stress and added to his struggles. He just wasn’t sure how to fix it.

I could see and hear the anxiety that he had gone too far with the joke and hurt his friend. There was a lot of guilt, and the awareness that he could have contributed to a friend’s struggles was really burdening him. He felt awful. I think he came to me partially because he wanted advice and partially because he felt he should somehow be punished for hurting his friend. I mentioned that there was no power struggle and so it wasn’t bullying, but in this kids eyes he did something that hurt someone so it was bullying.

I tried to put him at ease by talking about how hindsight is 20/20 and it’s easy for him to see that he took the joke too far now, but it would have been much harder to see this at the time. And I said that the fact that he could look back and see that now was actually a good thing. Good because it shows he’s reflective and cares for his friend, and good because he has the power now to make things better. But that it’s easy to see this now only by looking back and being thoughtful.

I then guided him through a good apology. He wanted to make it about the struggles his friend was going through as part of the apology. I suggested this wasn’t an ideal approach. A version of “I’m sorry you have problems that I added to” doesn’t instil a sense that the conversation is about an apology. Instead I suggested he focus on his own behavior. “I’m sorry that I took the joke to far, I didn’t mean for it to be hurtful in any way, but I think it was. I apologize and I’ll be more thoughtful next time.”

At one point when I was finishing up with him he said, “I’m sorry if I seem distracted but the longer I’m here the longer my friend has to wait for my apology.” I had to hold back a little chuckle as I let him go to talk to his friend.

This is a good kid. He used hindsight to see that he had done something wrong to a friend, but then he beat himself up for not seeing his mistake sooner. How often do we all do this? We look back at our actions and feel guilty, stupid, or embarrassed for what we did. Then we magnify those feelings and feel even worse. Our hindsight gives us insight into how we could have and should have acted previously… but now it’s too late. Now it feels like all we can do is feel bad.

…Or we can be humble, recognize our mistake, and try to make things better. The challenge with hindsight is that we can’t undo our stupidity, we can only pretend it didn’t happen, beat ourselves up about it, or actually try to face the mistake we made, own it, and be willing to make amends or ‘make it right’. This latter choice isn’t the easiest path to take, but it is the best path to take and the faster we do it, the less time we spend worrying or feeling bad about it.

A message to high school teachers

If you are in a semestered high school, you are about to finish semester 1 and start semester 2. That means it’s time to give students final marks in half of their courses. How do you work out their marks? Is it a matter of just looking at your mark book and averaging or tallying up marks from September to now?

Consider this little analogy I’ve shared before… and ask yourself if there’s a kid or two who might deserve a better mark considering how they are doing now compared to 4 months ago:

__________

The Parachute Packing Analogy

I love the simplicity of this example! There are 3 students who are in a parachute packing class:

Students take 3 tests during the course.

Student A starts off strong and gets an A on the first test, gets a B on the second test, is over-confident, flounders and gets a C on their final test.

Student B is a solid B student and gets B’s on all 3 tests.

Student C struggles on the first test and gets a C, starts understanding the concepts and gets a B on the second test, then totally understands all the concepts and finishes with an A on the final test.

All 3 students have a ‘B’ average in the course.

Which student do you want to pack your parachute?

__________

You don’t ‘need’ to mark the way you used to. You don’t ‘need’ to mark the kid getting 46% just by the numbers, especially if their mark was 36% at the start of the year and they are much more successful now. You can bump the one kid up 2% for the ‘A’ because they did poorly on one test the whole semester… And totally justify not giving another kid that 2% because they are short of getting an ‘A’ from consistently getting the harder questions wrong, and have not demonstrated that they are a ‘A’ student.

Equal ≠ Fair

Equal is not equal to fair. You can be fair without treating everyone equal… with assessments, with support, and even with how much homework you give them.

Assessment isn’t just about averaging and tallying marks, and fairness isn’t determined by equal treatment.

Consistently showing up

It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’ve listened to it twice and have white-boarded some ideas I hope to share with students as soon as things settle down a bit.

So when I saw that James was a recent guest on the Tim Ferriss podcast, I had to start listening.

Yesterday morning after waking up a bit later than usual, and taking a little longer than usual to write, I wasn’t sure if I had time for my workout. But rather than skip it, I decided to do a 10 minute row instead of 20 minute stationary bike, and then do 3 quick sets of tricep pull downs with elastic bands rather than weights… Less than the usual plan, but a workout nonetheless!

As I was rowing, I was listening to the podcast and came across this gem of a quote:

Here it is in-text quote:

The first thing is I give myself permission to reduce the scope but stick to the schedule. So if my typical workout takes 45 minutes, but I only have 15 that day, it’s easy to get into the story where you’re like, ‘Ah, I don’t have time to do it all, like why bother?’ But instead, I try to remind myself to reduce the scope and stick to the schedule, and there’s been a lot of days where all I have time for is to go in and do a couple sets of squats, but I’m glad that I did that rather than doing nothing, and it counts for a lot to, like, not throw a zero up for another day. In a sense, in the long run I almost feel like the bad days matter more than a good days, because if you showing up on the bad days, even if it’s less than what you had hoped for you maintain the habit. And if you maintain that habit, then all you need a time, so it counts for a lot. You also prove to yourself, you know, you can look yourself in the mirror at the end the night, and be like, ‘You know what, circumstances weren’t ideal, situation wasn’t perfect, but I still found a way to show up and, you know, like get some reps in today.’

It was so timely for me to hear this. I was on the row machine on a morning where I had reduced the scope but stuck to the schedule. I couldn’t do what was ideal, but I didn’t skip the workout. I showed up. And hearing this I went from feeling kind of guilty that I was cutting my routine short to realizing that I stuck with it. I did it anyway. I didn’t have a zero workout day. Because in the end consistency really matters, and a lighter, faster workout is still a workout.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to get on my exercise bike and put a bit more time into my workout today.

The learning cliff

Whenever I am talking to new or potentially new employees of our online school I share the idea of a learning cliff. We all know about a learning curve… when you are learning something new, there is an effort you have to exert as you gain knowledge and learn how to use new systems and tools available to you. There’s a slow uphill climb to learn the new job. But some jobs have a few too many systems to learn just by doing things once. I call this the learning cliff.

In a new position you’ll inevitably get to a point where you don’t know how to do something and you need to ask for help: This is true for both the learning curve and the learning cliff… With the learning curve , you ask, you learn, and you don’t need to ask again. But in an organization where too many things are new, you try to absorb so much information at once that you don’t actually remember the help you got the next time you have to deal with the same situation… You asked, you got the help you needed, but you didn’t actually learn because your brain was taxed with too much new information to retain one more thing. So a few hours, days, or weeks later you have to ask the same question again.

You’ve left the learning curve and hit the learning cliff. I tell my new employees that with so many new systems to learn, we have all hit those cliffs and every one of us knows you will too. So, ask again. Ask a third time. We won’t judge. We remember hitting the cliff ourselves. We know you feel bad having to ask again when you feel you should know. We know you can’t, just like we couldn’t, remember everything and need to ask again. We expect it and want to assist you.

A learning cliff is not a scalable slope without help, so let us help you over the edge, and when you come back to the same issue, or a new one, and it’s still not a traversable slope… ask again. We are expecting it and happy to help.

Baked just right

It would have been harder 150 years ago to bake bread or a cake to perfection. There were no thermometers in the oven, few clocks to tell how long it was in the oven, no real way to regulate the heat. It was an art as much as a science.

That idea of being baked just right comes to mind when I think about our universe. So many things had to be just right to ‘cook up’ our existence. If we live in a multiverse with countless other universes, it is likely most of them would harbour conditions impossible for a planet like earth to exist. This is for some people a way to reconcile their belief in an omnipotent and omnipresent God. For without the divine intervention of a ‘designer’ we could not exist.

But for me this is simply a game of numbers. In the billions of universes in a multiverse, we were the lottery winners. We won the grand prize of being able to harbour consciousness in a universe among so many others that did not have the right ingredients, did not have the right conditions, and/or were baked for too long or not long enough.

We exist because our universe was baked just right. And the fact that it was right enough for us, suggests to me that it is right enough on another not-so-near-by planet. We probably aren’t alone in this universe, but our universe is probably lonely in comparison to other universes.

We might not be the only one, but just like we are alone in our galaxy, our university is probably alone in being baked to perfection… for us. Maybe there are some nitrogen breathing conscious beings in another universe writing about the crazy possibility of oxygen breathing beings in a universe like ours?

We probably won’t need a couple hundred more years to figure this out. We are too inquisitive and we keep looking out into the universe and asking complex questions beyond my understanding. What I do understand is that we live in a universe that was baked well enough to produce us, and while we may not be baked to perfection, we are the lottery winners (or likely one of very few lottery winners) in the multiverse.

Good head space

After writing History Repeats yesterday I’ve had a couple people ask if I’m feeling ok, or in a good head space? Reading it again today I can see how that post can be interpreted as gloomy and dark. But that was just a mood after watching Fidler on the Roof and hearing the dedication afterwards to the people of Ukraine. It isn’t an overarching mental state.

But being asked makes me realize that by sharing a daily blog, I probably give readers a sense of my overall head space by the tone and temperament of the things I share… and writing a post about how we are no more civilized than an ant colony can certainly come off as a gloomy disposition.

Well in this case it’s not. I’m in a good space. I’m getting over a nasty cold, and am slowly but incrementally better each day. As a result I’m exercising regularly again (something I couldn’t do without a coughing fit two and three weeks ago). And I’ve had some good quality time with my wife and friends that I haven’t had when I couldn’t talk without coughing.

So, yes, yesterday’s post was gloomy, but it was a momentary mood, and not a state-of-the-nation address forecasting dark and gloomy days ahead. It was a reaction to an experience, and even though it was kind of dark, the experience of seeing Fiddler on the Roof performed live, with friends, was wonderful.

Overall head space right now: pretty good! 😁👍

History Repeats

We went to see a theatre performance of Fiddler On The Roof last night. The story ends with the Ukrainian Jews being kicked off their lands and dispersed across Europe and to America. After the show the lead star said that last night’s performance, and all of their performances, were dedicated to the Ukrainian people.

It makes me realize that we are not a truly civilized species. We fight over land and over resources. We kill in the name of God and Country. We judge based on skin colour and cultural differences. We act like unruly children against each other and we allow ourselves to repeat historical errors, none the wiser that lessons could have been learned.

We might have bigger brains, but we are no better than warring ant colonies, or a rutting animal fighting for dominance. We are animals pretending to be civilized. Power corrupts and corruption leads to injustice, and injustice undermines civility. We let history repeat itself because politics is more important that people and countries matter more than compassion.

Tiny little boxes

The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the over examined life isn’t worth living either. 

Isn’t it interesting how two people can look at the same experience and see it completely differently? How is it that 2 prisoners of war with similar experiences can come out of the ordeal and one has PTSD while the other emerges strong and resilient?

I think some people let past experiences spill into their everyday life, while others compartmentalize their past into tiny little boxes. Some people tie their identity to things that make them feel like they are not in control, that things happen to them, that they must continue to endure what has already happened. The past is as in front of them as it is behind them.

Other people see past events in a metaphorical rear view window… there when you are looking at it, but the memories in the reflection seem distant. And the mirror is somewhere in your peripheral vision when you aren’t looking, and easy to forget to pay attention to, unless there is a reason to look back.

A loss of someone you love can haunt you, or it can provoke feelings of love and fond memories. A loss of limb can leave one person devastated with respect to what they can no longer do, and another person is left thankful for what they still can do. Both of these are painful things to endure. But the frame around the experiences can be very different. Two people and one experience. One frames the experiences into tiny little boxes, the other lets the past experience spill into new experiences.

Do we get to decide? Or are we wired a certain way? Maybe a bit of both.

Does our upbringing influence our ability to cope? Certainly! Trauma transcends generations, and growing up in a psychologically unhealthy environment will impact one’s ability to cope. Tiny boxes aren’t built in stressful environments, and it’s hard to ignore the rear view mirror when you are constantly reminded that objects there are much closer than they appear.

But there is always an opportunity to wrap things up in tiny little boxes… still there, still available, just not spilled out into the present when the memories don’t enrich the current moment. Because when we spend too much time looking in the rear view mirror, it’s hard to see the road ahead.

Culture and kids

I was visiting the Philippines back in 2010, my kids were 8 and 10. We went to the beach and immediately they wanted to build sand castles with me. I spent about 25-30 minutes playing then told them I was going to sit with their mom for a bit. I’d had enough. They wanted me to play longer.

Then a family with a mom, dad, and 3 or 4 year old kid came and sat near us. The kid had a shovel and her dad had a spoon, and they started playing in the sand. We stayed on the beach for well over an hour, probably closer to 2 hours and that dad was on his hands and knees or squatting next to his kid playing in the sand the entire time. I think they were speaking Tagalog so I didn’t understand the conversations they weee having, but this dad was engaged with his kid the entire time. During that time, I played with my kids in the sand for another 20-25 minutes.

I remember telling my wife that this guy was making me feel like a crappy dad. I was amazed how his little girl was the center of his attention for so long. It makes me wonder about how our culture and our upbringing influences the raising of our kids?

Visiting Thailand around that same time we stayed for a few days in a resort with tree house rooms near a national forest. The first morning we went to breakfast and there was a makeshift playpen, for a kid who wasn’t quite walking age, near where we ate. When we arrived at the restaurant, the owner was sitting in the playpen with the kid. He left when another worker came to tend to the kid. Then later we saw his wife doing the same thing. We assumed it was their granddaughter. My wife asked if this was the case and we were told no. One of the cook’s mother’s was sick and couldn’t take care of her kid, and so she had to bring her baby to work… they were just all taking shifts when they could so the employee could do her job.

One of the best parts of travel is seeing how some cultures differ from our own, and appreciating that their lifestyles include little things that we can learn from. And I think you can learn a lot about people by watching how they care for their kids, and kids in their community.

You can’t police it

I said Chat GPT is a game changer in education in my post Fear of Disruptive Technology. Then I started to see more and more social media posts sharing that Artificial Intelligence (AI) detectors can identify passages written by AI. But that doesn’t mean a person can’t use a tool like Chat GPT and then do some of their own editing. Or, as seen here: just input the AI written text into CopyGenius.io and ‘rephrase’, and then AI detectors can’t recognize the text as written by AI.

The first instinct with combating new technology is to ban and/or police it: No cell phones in class, leave them in your lockers; You can’t use Wikipedia as a source; Block Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok on the school wifi. These are all gut reactions to new technologies that frame the problem as policeable… Teachers are not teachers, they aren’t teaching, when they are being police.

Read that last sentence again. Let it sink in. We aren’t going to police away student use of AI writing tools, so maybe we should embrace these tools and help manage how they are used. We can teach students how to use AI appropriately and effectively. Teach rather than police.