Monthly Archives: July 2020

Do I keep going?

I was looking forward to celebrating a year of Daily-Ink on July 16th… however, I just checked and my first daily ritual post (this time around) was on July 6th, 2019. The anniversary has come and gone!

Do I keep going?

I think so.

I need to make some changes though. I’m not happy writing for the sake of writing. If I don’t have something worth saying, I don’t want to fill the (public) page for the sake of filling the page. That said, if I skip a day here and there, I know what will happen: I will get busy, I will put writing on the back-burner, I’ll miss more days, and my daily habit will disappear.

I know myself enough to know that if I don’t commit to do this daily, it will not be something I’m consistently doing a year from now.

I know so. I know that I will keep going.

What I might do is skip a day or two, here or there, with respect to choosing to write publicly for my blog. What I won’t do is skip a day of writing. As long as I’m honest with myself and dedicate to writing every day, I’ll be happy. It took a long time to finally get my Daily-Ink going, and now over a year later… I’m not going to stop.

Goodbyes are tough

No matter how long I visit with family, the goodbyes are hard to do. I don’t know if anyone handles them well?

I’m not one that shows my emotions externally much, and this isn’t because I’m holding anything in… I am introverted and I internalize a lot. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.

It’s so much easier these days to say goodbye, with instant contact available at any time, but there is something special about giving your parents a hug. Sitting with them. Laughing with them.

Every opportunity is a treasure.

Some people

Today I had a funny interaction in a store. I was returning an item and an older gentleman decided that the lineup was too big and came along side me to make his purchase at the returns/customer service booth. Although he arrived just after me, I said he could go ahead of me. However Mrs. Persnickety working at Returns wanted to send him back. I was the only other person and I said it was ok, I’d wait. She rolled her eyes and let the old guy go ahead of me. When it was time for him to pay he struggled to find his Visa card and she helped him with another eye roll and an impatient tone.

When it was my turn, she curtly told me, the item had been opened, so I could only get exchange or store credit rather than a refund. I said I’d take a look around for exchange and her response was, ‘it has to be this value’ which I took as not getting store credit if it was less, so I took the store credit before looking to spend it, knowing I wouldn’t have to spend the credit all at once like I thought she was suggesting.

Overall Mrs. Persnickety was curt and a little unpleasant. She seems like one of those people who would be better off not working in the customer service department. Her exchanges with both the older gentleman before me and with me could’ve been a lot nicer with just a little bit of effort.

I went in the store and didn’t see anything to buy, so on the way out I saw that she was not serving anyone and so I asked her a clarifying question. “Is the store credit just for this store or can I use it in British Columbia as well?” I would’ve been happy with either response, if it was only the local store I would give the credit to my parents, and if I could use it across the chain, in BC, then I would take it home with me. Her response was that I can use it in any of the stores in Canada.

Then she asked me where in BC I was from, and started to tell me all the different cities where she had family in BC. We had a nice short conversation about how much she liked going there to visit, and how much she enjoyed the weather there. I said, “I used to live here in Toronto, however I have to say that the humidity is really getting to me this past week.”

She admitted that the heat was really bad this summer, and then said to me, “The worst part about the heat is how grumpy it makes some people.”

I agreed, with a little chuckle, and left the store.

Summer chat with Robert Martellacci @MindShareLearn

I dropped my mom off for her first hair appointment since covid hit, and there isn’t a waiting room to hang out in… so off to Starbucks for a coffee and then a parking lot chat with Robert Martellacci from MindShareLearning.ca.

I hope that you enjoy this episode of This Week in EdTech’s MindShareLearning Report. 🇨🇦

Notes:

My Twitter is @datruss (not dtruss in the tweet above)

Free e-book: Twitter EDU

My Daily-Ink about students/parents showing my wife appreciation.

Inquiry Hub Secondary (iHub) ~ And our website for educators.

Snapshots of another time

Recently I was telling my kids about these ashtrays that my parents had when I was a kid. They were totally inappropriate. One in particular was painfully over-the-top-bad.

I’m currently helping my parents move and we opened a box to determine what was in it and found these very ashtrays at the top of the box.

Here is the worst of them: A child, still in the womb, and the caption, “OH, OH… THE OLD LADY SNEAKED ANOTHER MARTINI!”

IMG_0004

  1. It’s an ashtray depicting a child in a womb.
  2. It is about a pregnant mom drinking enough alcohol to affect the baby.

Could you imagine this item being sold today?

It was a different time, with different norms. Pregnant women smoked and drank. Kids would sit in smoke filled cars, 4-6 of them in the back of a station wagon with no seatbelts. It was unheard of for a kid on a bicycle to wear a helmet.

We are talking about 50 years ago.

It’s fascinating to see how social norms change… mostly for the better. It’s also interesting to see how some of the old norms fade away while others (deservingly) are highlighted for being appalling. All transgressions of today, some causing upheaval, some (sadly) resurfacing, others just snapshots of a time long ago.

Ashtrays in general are relics. This one probably won’t ever leave the box, but I can’t see my mom throwing it away.

Significantly Insignificant

As far as scientists know:

  • The human species originated in Africa about 250,000 to 300,000 years ago.
  • Dinosaurs existed for over 180,000,000 years.
  • Dinosaurs went extinct about 66,000,000 years ago.

To put this into perspective, as a percentage, humans have been around 0.167% as long as dinosaurs were. Put another way, dinosaurs existed for 600 times longer than humans have so far. Beyond that, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 times longer than humans have been around.

We are a species that has lived for an insignificant amount of time, on a tiny planet, not far from an insignificant sun, in an insignificant part of our galaxy, which lies in an insignificant part of our universe. We are insignificant specs of cosmic dust.

Yet we are conscious, thinking and dreaming entities, who are creative, inventive, and future focused. It’s unlikely that we are the only beings capable of this in the universe, but it is likely we will be extinct before we meet any other beings as capable of thinking and creating like us… or destroying like us. To the earth, our cities are like parasites. We have created weapons of mass destruction. We consume natural resources at an alarming rate. We have caused the extinction of countless species. We have had a significant impact on our planet.

We are showing our significance in the ugliest of ways. Perhaps we should think about being a little more insignificant, because at this rate, it’s unlikely that we’ll be around as a species for any significant amount of time.

4-point-6-billion-years-in-one-hour.jpg

Through Persistence

We are living in a time of incredible change. It is not often that we have widespread changes in cultural norms, and shifts in the way we communicate with each other daily. Yet, now I have to read the signs on the floors of stores to know which way to walk and where to stand, and I need to navigate around people coming towards me giving them a wide birth. We also spend hours communicating digitally instead of meeting face-to-face, and shop far more online than ever before.

Amidst all these changes it is easy to forget that many important changes we want to see take persistence and time. My back aches every day, but regular exercise reduces this to the background of my mind, rather than having it become pain.

My daily meditation isn’t about reaching an end goal, but consistently being less distracted, and understanding that while meditating is a simple task, it is not an easy task.

My relationships that I foster do not get better unless I make an effort every day, every interaction, being intentionally giving, kind, and patient.

We can get lost looking for quick fixes and immediate changes. We can forget that certain aspects of our lives are about playing the long game, seeking incremental improvements, and keeping ourselves on a good path… making positive changes through persistence.

“Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistence.” ~ Ovid

Uncertainty as the new norm

When people make goals, they often ask themselves or are asked by others coaching them, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I can pretty much guarantee that anyone asked where they saw themselves in five years, back in 2015, was pretty much wrong. Every. Single. One. I made light of this idea with a fun post ‘Truth is Stranger than Fiction‘, back in April.

Now I’m looking at the same thing in a different light. It’s one thing to understand how hard it is to visualize where we will be in 5 years, yet another when we don’t have any idea where we will be in the next couple months? Schools ‘re-open’ in September and our province has said that we won’t know what ‘open’ means until the middle of August. We could be completely open, mostly open, partially open, or fully teaching from a distance. My guess is that learning will be blended, but by how much, I honestly don’t have a clue? Are students only coming in once a week or twice a week? Will students have an option to stay home and still expect teachers to work with them? Will teachers report to school every day? I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

Will there be a second wave of Covid-19 in Canada? Will the virus mutate significantly? Has it already done so? Will the virus be an issue right into 2022? Will there be a vaccine, or will we manage/mitigate the spread or impact in some other way? Will the borders to the US re-open soon? Will there be a major recession? Will Covid-19 be with us for years to come like flus that return every winter? I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I’m used to people asking me questions and giving them answers. I am usually someone that is ‘in the know’, but this virus has humbled me. It has made me far less certain about where things are going next. Ambiguity is the norm now. So is uncertainty.

Within every crisis lies an opportunity. Our perspective has a huge role to play in this. When we are stuck thinking ‘woe is me‘, well then a crisis is a crises. When we recognize that ‘stuff happens‘ and that stuff is separate from how we respond to it, then we can start to see the opportunities.

How can we support local businesses? How can we help the needy in our communities?

What can we do to meaningfully engage students in classes from a distance? How can we leverage the right tools so that when ‘learning from home’  students get more voice and choice in the work that they are doing? How can we make the student experience seamless as we bounce between varying amounts of time students spend at school vs home? How do we meaningfully build community without having our students spend much, if any, time together? …At least for these questions I have a few ideas.

The new school year will bring many challenges, and with those challenges we will also have opportunities. Opportunities to challenge the status quo, and to do things differently. I won’t pretend that I know what’s in store. I understand that there is a lot of uncertainty ahead. Uncertainty is the new norm, and we’ll just have to get used to this.

Vulnerability can be a double edged sword.

This morning I did my second outdoor run (read light jog) since breaking kneecap at the end of February. I’m staying at my sister’s place down at the beeches near Queen Street, and jogged the board walk. It was early and fairly empty. Weird feeling to watch a man, a good 15+ years my senior, jog past me at a pace slower than I usually run. But I’ve been rehabilitating this knee for too long to do something stupid to acquiesce my ego.

After the jog I stopped at a bench to do my knee exercises with some other workout exercises in between and the walked up the hill home. At that point I decided to do my Calm App meditation while walking. At the end of each meditation Tamara Levitt always does a little lesson and today’s was about Vulnerability.

I enjoy these lessons and appreciate the insights Tamara shares, but today I struggled with the lesson. The main example Tamara gave was when someone at work asks how you are doing, and not giving the typical, ‘fine’, ‘ok’, or ‘busy’ response. Instead pause, and be willing to be vulnerable and share how you really feel.

While I appreciate how that could help someone who is struggling and feeling isolated, if this colleague is just an acquaintance, and not necessarily a true friend, it could make things worse.

We are all vulnerable in different ways, but to me vulnerability is not a good thing to share too openly. I’ve seen way too many bullying issues start because a student showed their vulnerability with the wrong kids, and grownups aren’t always much better.

It’s a double edged sword because if you hide your vulnerability and struggles from everyone, you are missing out on the love and support you could get in a time of need. However, if you are too open, the very vulnerability you are sharing could make you susceptible to being targeted, or the topic of gossip, and more in need of a real confident to share your vulnerabilities with!

Be vulnerable when you need to with those you trust and love… but beyond that, be thoughtful and careful.

Reciprocal influence

After a discussion with my Uncle Joe (Truss) last night on the topic of free will, I’ve reread my posts:

The Bell Curve of Free Will

And:

What does in mean to be conscious?

Joe said a couple interesting things, “Freedom comes with restraints.” And, “We influence the world and the world influences us.”

I speak of restraints on freedom in my bell curve post, but I don’t say this explicitly. I think restrictions to our freedom of choice can be circumstantial, or based on how virtuous we live our lives, or by things like our physical and emotional health. These restraints to our freedom can make us feel like we have less choice.

The simple, yet profound statement that, “We influence the world and the world influences us,” is one that I’m interested in deconstructing. When we react to the environment or situation we are in, we ultimately change that environment or situation. There are many experiments that prove the observer changes the experiment. We don’t live in a vacuum, and our interactions with the world alter that world, which alters our future interactions.

An example I’m thinking of is a crisis situation where the person in charge is calm and thoughtfully responsive vs the same crisis situation with a panicked and frantic leader. The crisis can be well handled or escalated. In both cases the leaders work in feedback loops that can help them deal with the situation at hand appropriately or have the situation become unmanageable. The leader’s actions (or inaction) changes the situation, which in turn influences their next action or reaction.

How often do we get stuck in a feedback loop of reciprocal influences between what we feel we can do next and how the outside world reacts? We move through situation after situation feeling like we lack choice and freedom because the restraints on us limit our responses… which in turn limits what we believe can happen next, and what our next actions can or need to be.

There are times when we do what we need to do, or feel obligated to do, and don’t recognize that we are in a feedback loop that continually limits our choices and decision-making. This can be especially true in work and family situations where past relationships and patterns of interactions influence our likelihood of reacting similarly the next time.

“I better do it this way or Peter will be upset.”

“Amy is going to complain about this no matter how hard I try.”

“My brother won’t want to join us, I won’t bother asking.”

We get into pattern ruts, habitual grooves where we get stuck limiting our own choices and freedom to do things differently.

I realize now that my thinking is less about free will, and more about how our habits dictate our future thinking. Our habits influence our world, our world changes and we react by reinforcing the same habits that can ultimately limit our future choices. In some ways we construct a limited future based on our habits, which emboldens our choice to keep these limiting habits. (You can also replace the word ‘habits’ with ‘addictions’.)

“We influence the world and the world influences us.”

Is this a reciprocal relationship, or is it one where we can choose to have more influence? I think there are countless self-help books written to suggest that we have more influence than we believe we do… we just need to make conscious choices rather than letting our past actions and habits limit our ability to influence the world around us.