It’s rare for both my physical and social batteries to both hit empty at the same time. I’m there now.
Normally I can’t sleep for very long during the day without inducing a headache and feeling like I’ve messed up my sleep cycle. But I’ve slept for most of the day and I don’t think I’ll have an issue going to sleep tonight.
I’m in slow (re)charge mode.
One of the best parts of getting older is that unlike when I was half my age, I actually listen to my body. Four days ago I did my Norwegian Protocol cardio workout and really pushed hard. I also did a bicep workout. Three days ago I did a hard incline walk with a 34lb weighted vest. Then I did pull-ups and step ups with the vest still on.
Two days ago I did a really challenging leg workout out then had some knee aches through the day. Yesterday I did a light 20 minute stationary bike ride to get the blood flow to my legs and hopefully reduce the lactic acid buildup from the leg workout. Then I did a hard chest workout.
Today I know I need a break. Sure I spread out my workouts and don’t overdo any one area, except maybe going a bit too hard on legs. Sure I have areas like my back or abs that I could focus on today while giving my other muscles a rest. But I can tell I need a rest day… my body is telling me so.
Younger me would have felt guilty taking the day off. Younger me would have pushed through, not realizing that my very healthy knees almost never bother me and maybe a rest day is in order. Younger me would probably have worked out today and dealt with any pain as a result, as if it’s nothing to worry about, until it was too painful to continue.
But not today. Today I rest. It’s a wonderful rest day! And I’ll be back at it tomorrow.
One of my favourite poems is Robert Frost’s ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’, and my favourite stanza from that poem is the final one:
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”
I love that idea of honouring your promises, and understanding that there is more in life to do. I especially value the idea of keeping promises you’ve made to yourself.
In my 10Lessons on Atomic Habits, specifically Lesson 8 – Habit Tracking, I say, “The calendar doesn’t lie. You be honest to the calendar, and when you look at the calendar, it’s honest right back at you.”
In this Instagram Reel, Chris Williamson says, “Stop breaking promises to yourself. When you say, I’m going to… wake up tomorrow at 7am, and when the option comes to hit the snooze button… don’t do it. There’s one win you’ve got for the day.”
How many times have you done everything in your power to ensure that you keep your promises to other people… and compare that to how often you will break a promise to yourself, and sacrifice your own personal commitments in order to fulfill promises and commitments to others. You stay late for work and then miss a workout. You worry about your kids eating a healthy lunch at school but don’t share the same concern for your own lunch. You cancel social plans to attend a meeting… compare the frequency of that versus postponing a meeting to do something social with friends.
The most important promises to keep are the promises you make to yourself.
Arianna Huffington is 74 years old and she just recently started a new AI business. She started the Huffington Post at age 55 and sold it 6 years later for 315 million dollars. In this The Diary of a CEO podcast interview with Steven Bartlett she shares this gem of a story.
The moral of the story is simple: Leaders need to take care of themselves, and get enough sleep, in order to be at their best. She says, “All the science now makes it very clear that when we are depleted we are going to make bad decisions.”
Then quoting Jeff Bezos, “I sleep 8 hours a night… I’m judged by the quality of my decisions, not the quantity of my decisions.”
As the new school year begins, take this as a reminder to take care of yourself first, if you really want to take care of your staff and students. It’s not good enough to only exercise, and eat well, and get enough sleep when you are not busy. You owe it to yourself, those you serve, and your job, to treat yourself well. It’s not selfish to put on your oxygen mask first, it’s how you get enough air to take care of others.
Build good habits and take the time to care for yourself first, when you are busiest, and it will become very easy to do so all the time. You will benefit as a person, as a friend, as a partner, as a parent, as an employee, and as a leader. It starts with you taking care of you.
A cough and low-grade headache are going to keep me home from work for one more day. I’ve noticed that the past few years I seem to get a headache as both a precursor to flu symptoms, and it stays with me while sick. This forces me to have less screen time, and frankly I get quite bored. Even ebooks don’t really work for me because I can’t concentrate on them and keep having to rewind parts.
So, I’m moping at home. The good news is, no matter how much my sinuses bother me, I seem to never lose my appetite and enjoy the taste of food. So, that’s my joy in the day, eating… and a hot tub.
I just hope tonight I can get more sleep because the last few nights have been really broken, and I’m wanting that to improve tonight. So away goes this screen and while I hope to be down for the night, I’m also hoping tomorrow and the weekend will rejuvenate me and get me ready for June… the busiest month of the school year!
Sometimes something happens without rhyme or reason, with no logical reason for it to happen. Other times it is abundantly clear… to some people but not to others. So while an observer can see and make connections between events or experiences, the person in the situation believes there is no rhyme or reason, no connections at all. I witnessed this first hand in a conversation recently.
I was talking to someone who was very upset with the behaviors of another person. Why couldn’t this other person understand how to help themselves? Why did this other person not do what needed to be done? There was much frustration because this other person wouldn’t respond well to feedback. Then the person I was talking to shared a personal struggle, and it was abundantly clear to me that the rhyme and reason for their struggle was identical for them as it was for this other person. The situation was completely different, but the points of struggle were the same.
Isn’t that fascinating how we can see and be frustrated with the challenges we see others struggle with, and yet be blind to how we struggle in similar way? Simultaneously asking ‘Why can’t this other person see what needs to be done’, while being oblivious to the fact that we struggle in the same way in other areas of our own lives. Maybe I’m being unfair in saying they are oblivious? Maybe the frustration they see in themselves is precisely why there is frustration in the other person.
‘I hate seeing this other person struggle, because in this other person I see the thing I least like about myself.’
I saw the rhyme and reason. But that doesn’t mean I handled it well. On the contrary, and upon reflection, I could have navigated the conversation much better. I realize this only after the fact. The person I was talking to knew the other person wouldn’t respond well to feedback because they knew they wouldn’t. When I saw the connection, the parallel relationship, I should have realized the it was the wrong time for me to offer feedback. It wouldn’t be well received… it wasn’t well received. The pattern was there for me to see, but I missed it.
We don’t always see the rhyme and reason for why we do what we do. But maybe it’s easier to see this in other people… maybe we project our own insecurities and frustrations on others because we struggle ourselves. The very reason it bugs us in others is because it bugs us in us. But even knowing this, it hurts to hear it.
A happy thought,
A quiet walk,
A restful pause,
A candid talk.
A social night,
A laugh out loud,
A mutual friend,
A gap in the crowd.
A good book,
A favourite meal,
A restful nap,
A bargain deal.
Simple little things
that come our way.
Simple little things
that make our day.
We can appreciate
what we’ve got.
We can be happy
with our lot.
As long as we
are aware,
that we really
needn’t care…
About things we lack,
and things we dread.
And avoid negative thoughts
in our heads.
As long as we
are aware,
that we really
should care…
About the people we love,
and people in need.
About doing what’s right,
and doing good deeds.
Simple little things
that help us cope.
Simple little things
that bring us hope.
Appreciate the little things
that come our way.
And remember to cherish
each and every day.
The best gifts we have
are love and time.
A life well lived
is truly sublime.
Life need not be filled
with accolades and aclaim,
It need not be a life of
excessive wealth and fame.
What makes us rich are
the simple little things,
that bring us joy
and make our hearts sing.
Simple little things.
I was having a conversation with my daughter yesterday and I mentioned a podcast I was listening to with Dr. Daniel Amen. The point I shared with her was how Dr. Amen talks about killing ANTs… Automatic Negative Thoughts. My daughter liked that idea and added something she has been working on, which is, “Don’t let a positive thought go unsaid.”
I really like this idea and think I’m going to work on the same.
How often do we complain about bad customer service, but we just appreciate good customer service, yet leave those thoughts unsaid?
How often do we get frustrated with a loved one or a coworker who doesn’t do what we expect them to do, but don’t really value them when they do a little extra?
How often do we focus on ANTs, but leave our positive thoughts unsaid?
On the 30th I started feeling a cough coming on and it was full blown with a lot of sinus pain on New Year’s Eve. Thank goodness the sinus pain subsided for my flights home on the 1st because I’ve travelled on a plane with sinus pain before and it was a horrible experience. However, my cough got progressively worse and I’ve been knocked on my butt, coughing and exhausted for 3 days now.
I started to feel a bit more human again around noon today, but I’m still feeling hit pretty hard by this bug. I have to say that this flu and Covid back in November have both been the hardest I can ever recall being hit by the flu. I don’t normally spend most of the day exhausted and sleeping, and I usually bounce back quick, even if a cough lingers a while. These last two time have been much harder on me, they are hitting different.
I can’t wait to get back to my regular routine again but right now I really need to listen to my body and take the time I need to recover…Easier said than done… I’ve got so much to do!
Spending a week isolated at home has completely messed up my schedule. Waking up with a headache to start the day sucks. It makes it hard to be and feel productive. This afternoon seems to be the positive turn I was looking for, but I’m not sure how fast I’ll be able to jump back into my regular routine. Writing, meditation, and workouts have usually been done before I’ve even been waking up this past week.
The one good thing to come of this is that I actually miss my routine. It’s not a big effort to do it. It’s something I want to do. And I’m looking forward to getting back to work on Monday too. I guess a pattern interruption every once in a while is good so that you can do a gut check and make sure that what you regularly do is something you actually want to do.
