Tag Archives: memories

Daily coffee routine

Almost 40 years ago, when I got hired as an assistant manager at Starbucks, I spent the first few weeks taste testing coffees and espresso drinks on every break. I’d end up having 5-7 coffees in a shift. Then I’d go home on weekends and by noon on Saturday I’d have a pounding headache… basically my body would be craving caffeine. It took me a while to realize what the problem was. I started taking regular breaks from coffee, and I’d sometimes go a week with no coffee. Then I’d keep to two or less cups when I did drink it.

Now I basically drink one cup a day. Occasionally I have two, but it’s quite seldom, and if I forget a day it’s not usually a big deal. Well yesterday I slept in and didn’t have coffee right away, and sure enough a headache started. It has been a long time since I’ve felt it, but I knew it was a withdrawal headache. It’s amazing how the lack of regular caffeine can have so much power over me.

This makes me think about the many small ‘addictions’ we have. The craving for sugar, for salt, for adrenaline, for exercise, for love, for belonging. When we get these things regularly, we take them for granted, but when we are missing then… in some way we develop a headache.

Our routines, both healthy and unhealthy, help us meet the needs we create.

Wait for it

Anticipation is a funny thing. When you look forward to something that you are excited about, the anticipation can work in your favour or against you. It can be a big part of the event, the buildup actually becomes part of the experience. It can be more fun than the actual event, like planning a surprise party for someone else where the organizing and conspiring brings great joy. It could also ruin the event when expectations exceed outcomes.

I have never been someone that gets overly excited in anticipation, and so it always fascinates me to see others build up anticipation. When my kids were young, I used to fake anticipation to play along with theirs. I didn’t want my lack of anticipation to be something that took away their joy in looking forward to an event.

I remember when we lived in China, my wife and her sister planned to surprise our kids on a visit to Thailand. My sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and their two kids were going to meet us in Chang Mai, and our kids didn’t know. The day came after a lot of excited planning and we went to a night market knowing they would be there too. The surprise was amazing. It was a wonderful reunion!

After the holiday we were flying home and one of my daughters said, “I wish that I knew they were coming so that I could have been excited longer.” I wasn’t expecting to hear this. Upon reflection of the surprise, she thought it would have been more fun to know in advance and be thrilled in the knowing. It wasn’t like she was sad, she really loved the time together, she just wished the knowing and anticipatory waiting was part of the event rather than the surprise.

That little conversation helped me appreciate the value of anticipation more. It helped me see that if you don’t build it up too much anticipation could be part of the fun. They say good things come to those who wait, but maybe sometimes the wait itself is a good thing.

24 years ago

On the 26th of August 1997 I proposed to my wife. Today we celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary. If I were to pick something as my best life decision my proposal to Ann would be it. I remember when we started dating, I was talking to my mom on the phone and told her, “I think I met the girl I’m going to mary, she just doesn’t know it yet.” And while I try to be the best husband I can be, my wife is giving and caring in a way I always aspire to be.

I am blessed, and I hope the next 24 years bring as much or more joy to me, to us, that we have had in the last quarter century. We live in an amazing country with fantastic opportunities for us and our kids. We have two amazing kids that are delightful to watch grow up, and who have grown into fantastic young women. We have great jobs that we love, and a beautiful home. And we have great friends that we both enjoy being around.

Today I don’t just celebrate my anniversary, I celebrate the wonderful lives my wife and I have built together.

Blast from the past

Today I played water polo for only the second time this century, (my playing experience spanned the mid ’80’s to late 90’s). My buddy Ross, who was both my coach, and later who I also coached with is visiting… and he was invited to drop by and play with a masters team visiting from Calgary, doing a training camp before the US Open. And, as luck would have it, it was happening in a lake just 20 minutes from my house.

I was nervous. I haven’t played in years and have not been swimming either, so the idea that I’d be jumping in a lake and playing players that never really left the game like me was daunting. Water polo isn’t a sport you can easily leave for 20 years and then just start back up again like riding a bicycle.

It was so wonderful to play again, the guys were awesome. I got to get in the pool water with my buddy and play with him for the first time in 30 years. I’ve played in many outdoor pools, but we were at Sasamat Lake, which was warm and picturesque, and the entire experience was great.

That said, I thought I was fit, but this was humbling. For the last two and a half years my workouts have consisted of steady cardio on a bicycle, treadmill, or row machine. To switch to swimming, and add in starts and stops, sprints, and the taxing thinking process of doing something I haven’t done in years had me exhausted in no time at all. I spent a lot of time taking deep breaths and trying to lower my heart rate. It’s a whole different kind of fit to play a game like water polo. It also doesn’t help much that I never was a very efficient swimmer.

I used to have a resting heart rate between 35-40 beats per minute and it could get as low as 32 in the morning before getting out of bed. That was mostly because I trained a lot and my inefficient swim stroke meant that I was usually working harder than anyone else to do the same amount of work.

Add to that, I was never a great player to begin with. I was good, but not great. So a 20+ year gap from playing left me unable to do what I though I could do. On this topic, the Calgary team’s motto on their shirts gave me a good chuckle:

The Older I Get The Better I was

We might join them for one more practice tomorrow, we’ll see how my and my buddy’s bodies feel in the morning.

A Dawn Remembered

I wrote this in my late teens, some time before summer, 1986, when I was still in high school.

___

A Dawn Remembered

Early morning I did wake
To gaze across a chilly lake
I then looked to the sky
That dropped a little lonely flake

The cold glistened in my eye
Though the furnace was nearby
My body felt what it saw
It made me shiver where I lie

The morning air, so crisp and raw
In its virginity was not a flaw
So pure and simple the day did start
That for a moment I stood in awe

This admiration is an art
That must come from your heart
This early morning I did wake
To watch this beauty fall apart.

Soap on a rope

In grade 13, I had an amazing English teacher, Mrs. Elle (Not her real name). She actually taught me to enjoy reading. She made me interested in writing. She brought life to English class. Mrs. Elle was one of my absolute favourite teachers.

Ms. Elle was a full figured woman and she was always dressed impeccably. Dress slacks and long sleeved sweaters or blouses that made her look like she was going to a fancy restaurant right after school. For jewelry, she always wore large earrings and a large necklace. A typical outfit would be dress pants, and a single colour knitted sweater, with a feature necklace that was rather large. One of these necklaces was a shell on a rope.

I sat next to Christine, one of my good friend’s girlfriends, and she often commented on how nice Mrs. Elle dressed. I walked in to class one day when Ms. Elle was wearing the shell on a rope and commented to Christine, “Oh, I see Ms. Elle is wearing her ‘Soap on a Rope’ today. This was actually a thing people owned back when I was a kid. I’m not sure how functional it was, but it certainly wasn’t something anyone would wear out as jewelry. Christine started to laugh and that started me laughing, and then we couldn’t stop.

Mrs. Elle quieted us down and then we both started laughing again. Christine stopped before me, and then without malice Mrs. Elle said to me, “You look like you are enjoying yourself David, would you like to share what’s so funny with the rest of the class?

I lost it. I started to shake my head ‘no’ and I laughed uncontrollably. The idea of saying this out loud horrified me, and the nervousness of the situation was spent in full laughter. Mrs. Elle looked at me and said, “Why don’t you go get a drink of water.” As giggles went through the class.

We were in a portable so I went outside laughing. I went to get a drink in the nearest hallway with a fountain and I was still laughing. Then when I calmed down I went back to the portable and sat on the top step by the door to the class and waited about 3 or 4 minutes to compose myself. I took a deep breath, exhaled, opened the door and headed to my seat. Mrs. Elle looked at me and said, “Better now?” and I lost it again. Full, uncontrollable laughter with other students starting to laugh as well, which just magnified my lack of control. Mrs. Elle, just looked at me and said, “Why don’t we try again tomorrow?” I grabbed my books and left the class.

That was the second last class of the day. After my last class, I rushed to the portable because I knew Mrs. Elle taught another class right after ours, and I wanted to catch her before she left. I waited until I thought all the kids were gone and then went into her class. I waited a moment at the door as the last couple students left the portable, then I approached Mrs. Elle. I apologized and she took it in full stride. She said, “I could tell you wanted to stop but you just couldn’t” I apologized again, and then she asked, “So, what was so funny?”

If I wasn’t expecting this I would I lost it again, but I knew this question was coming. I told her that what I said was very rude, that I shouldn’t have said it in class, and it wasn’t appropriate to share. She gave me a smile and I could tell she wanted to ask again, but she didn’t, instead she took a few minutes to share what they did in class, and let me know what I needed to get done for the next day.

There are so many ways that this could have gone very wrong. Mrs. Elle had every right to be upset at me disrupting her class not once, but twice. She could easily have disciplined me for it. She didn’t have to let me out of class for the day. She didn’t have to take time at the end of her day to catch me up. She handled this so well, and while I felt like I could have lost a lot of respect, she showed me the utmost respect and let this just slip by. But I won’t lie to you… I almost lost it again the next time she wore that shell on a rope, and Christine had to move to another seat away from me before we both started laughing again.

What’s Truth

I wrote this on March 11th, 1985. I was 17. I’m digging up a lot of old writing, and while I find it a bit challenging to do so, I’ll share the poem below without editing it… I think I’d rather have it sit as an old work, not something re-worked because I’d change so much if I started editing now.

A poem by 17-year-old me:
—

What’s Truth

Everyone sees you a different way
Yet you the same from day to day.

You always worry about what they think
You feel paranoid with every blink.

You tell yourself don’t worry ’bout it
But inside you know that’s really shit.

You really worry and that’s a fact
About what they say behind your back.

People say things when not at face
You do the same with them in your place.

So why can’t people just be true
And tell everything right to you.

This separates man, from other life
The ability for words to cut like a knife.

Man is inable to be perfect
Because of feelings of love and respect.

These protect us from each other’s fire
So as not to hurt, we all become liars.

“Do you like my hat?”
“Yes I like it a lot.”
[It should be ripped to shreds and left to rot.]

What purpose was man put on this earth
What are his feelings really… really worth?

He cannot live in full honesty
He won’t care about this humble plea.

You know as you read that this is true
But you ask yourself, “What can I do?”

And it’s at this point that this dream
Starts falling apart at the seams. ~David

David: Did you like it?
Reader: Yeah, it’s kind a neat.
David: The truth…
Reader: …It’s good.
David: thanks?

The purge

Our garage was a mess before our big renovation, and since then it has been an absolute disaster. A couple days ago we threw out a lot of garbage. Yesterday I started cleaning out boxes I’ve had stored for years. The last time I did go through them, I just went down a nostalgic path and kept everything. This time I purged.

I was pretty ruthless. I took a few photos of things, but I also dumped a lot, including photos too. I realized that if these things have stayed in boxes for 15 or 20+ years already, why keep them in a box for another 20? It’s not going to get easier moving them around at 74 years old.

Besides, I just don’t feel attached to ‘stuff’ anymore. Here’s an example:

I wore #13 in high school, and when the school got rid of the reversible caps and got a set with ear protection, the coach gave me my number… that was 1985 and I still have it. The blue & white #9’s and red suit were from the Maccabiah games in Israel… that was 1993. Well now I have that photo above and the items are off to the dump. These, and many other items that would otherwise end up in a box for many more years, have now been tossed out.

Some of the more unique items I dumped: the rough start of a script for a water polo movie; A collection of tacky owls that my grandmother bought for me over many years because she knew I liked owls (these were sold by my wife on Facebook marketplace for a whopping $40); Wedding albums I used to promote my wedding photography business (I gave enlargements of any photos I kept to the couple, and they got all the negatives, so I wasn’t throwing away anything unique); Animal bones… So, this probably needs an explanation… No I wasn’t a kid who tortured animals and kept their bones, I travelled all through the southern US with my dad and kept some pretty neat skulls I found on our adventures.

Stuff.

Stuff I’ll never use. Stuff I don’t need. Stuff that doesn’t need to sit in my garage for another decade or two.

I’ll keep a few items. Books I find hard to part with, and other nostalgic articles, but what was 6 or 7 boxes will probably become just one. Still just stuff, but a lot less of it.

Early morning silence

There is a special kind of quiet in waking up before the birds start chirping. A stillness. My cat knows it’s too early for me to let him out, and he nestles into my lap. The leaves outside are motionless. Even the air feels still, though not stale.

It reminds me of being at a cottage in Ontario. I can imagine the glass-smooth reflection of the water, the quiet of an open, still space. The crispness of the morning air.

It’s like my mind is taking still photographs, witnessing frame after frame, rather than a continuity of time. The silence is the space between the shots.

Silence is the space in between. In between the night and morning. In between the sound of my fingers typing letters. In between sounds of any kind. Silence is a comfortable solitude. Early morning silence is not lonely, it’s comfortable. Silence keeps me company.

There is no better way to start the day, than with early morning silence.

Grad celebration

Tonight I’m off to Victoria for my daughter’s university convocation tomorrow. Then on Wednesday evening my high school graduation ceremony is combined with our school award ceremony in an event we call iHub Annual (named so by a former student). Being a small school, we started this tradition in order to create a bigger audience for our grads, but this year we are only inviting grads and their families and we are hosting a YouTube Live event for the rest of the students. This might become our new way of running the event from now on.

Graduation is a special event for students. However, I didn’t go to my first two graduations. I was undergoing nose surgery for my high school grad, straightening a break that happened in a water polo game. Then my first university graduation happened almost 3 years after it should have and I decided not to go because I literally would have known no one else in the grad class. I hadn’t even set foot on the campus for two years at that point. Oddly enough, this delay was also for water polo, I took my final courses at a different university so that I could play varsity water polo for a year, then I ended up not applying for graduation… not knowing that this was necessary.

The first time I crossed the stage was for my UBC education degree with my new wife in the audience. Then she was there again with me when I crossed the stage in Eugene Oregon for my Masters. When I got my first university degree I shared, “I’m done with school, never again.” When I finished my Education degree, I declared again to anyone who would listen, “I’m done with school, never again.” Since finishing my masters, I haven’t said it… because that phrase doesn’t seem to be something I follow through with as intended. 🤣

Despite missing my first two grads, I understand the significance of the celebration. I know that for students it’s an important day. The end of high school, the end of a hard earned degree, these are big transition moments in a students life, a time to both look forward and back. It’s a time of trepidation and of excitement. It’s as right of passage ceremony that signifies the end of one part of a student’s life and the start of a new adventure.