Tag Archives: habits

Habit versus motivation

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It’s so blatantly clear to me now how good habits require less motivation. On any given week day I wake up and I just start my routine: Wordle -> blog post -> mediation -> cardio -> stretch -> strength set -> shower. My habits are stacked, and I just have to start solving the daily Wordle puzzle and the rest of my routine effortlessly falls into place. No thinking, no effort, no motivation needed.

But I do things differently on weekends and here I am at 5:30pm writing my blog post, and I am needing to motivate myself to get anything else done. Motivation is hard. Stacked habits are easy.

Now, I just need to figure out how to stack these things on my weekends, because starting this routine when I should be thinking about dinner sucks.

Alarm set for a bedtime meditation, and off to the treadmill I go.

Positive Peer Pressure

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I think part of growing up involves being peer pressured into doing something stupid. It doesn’t have to be big and life-altering. It can be as simple as being pressured by friends to ask someone you like out, but you knew all along you were going to face rejection. Or you were pressured to go first off of a giant toboggan ramp you and your friends built on an icy day. The dumbest things I was peer pressured into are not going to make it into a list of things I plan on sharing, so the above examples are going to have to do.

When you get into adulthood peer pressure doesn’t have as strong a hold on you, and so in most cases you really aren’t going to be pressured into doing something stupid, or something you really don’t want to do. But what about things you do want to do? I think here we have amazing opportunities to use peer pressure to our advantage.

A perfect example is that I never would have done 2,000 pushups in February without my buddy Dave challenging me. And we held each other accountable, checking in with progress and reminders. Another great example is a spotter in the gym. Done well, spotting isn’t just about safety, it’s also about encouragement and motivation. I know that I push myself much harder when I’ve got a workout buddy telling me to push one more rep out when I want to just give up and end the set.

We can really use positive peer pressure to our advantage. Want to build a powerful habit? Do it with a friend or have your friends hold you accountable. Want to try something for the first time? A friend or life partner’s encouragement is invaluable. Increase the pressure when things don’t go as well, or there is a slip, and praise the behavior when things are going well.

As a kid, peer pressure is usually something to avoid. But as an adult it’s something to seek out… as long as the outcome is positive.

2,000 pushups in February

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It started as a challenge from a friend. I didn’t get started until February 3rd. So I did some math, and realized that 80 pushups a day for 25 days would get me to 2,000.

Here are my daily sets, tracked for the month, including two rest days, since there were still 27 days left to go:

2,000 pushups sounds like a lot. 80 a day isn’t necessarily fun. 80 in one set, that really wasn’t fun. But 80 in a day is totally achievable. How many things seem insurmountable, but really aren’t if we just break them down into smaller, attainable chunks?

Habits and goals

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I know setting goals works. I have a few fitness goals and they inspire me to work harder. But I’ve never really been someone who sets a lot of goals and I am not overly goal driven. I can remember teaching students SMART Goals and watching them create goals that I just knew they wouldn’t hit… SMART or not.

Habits are what get you to your goals. Habits are the repeated patterns that lead you to improvements. Goals are just lofty ideas until you build systems and habits that move you towards them.

A career goal doesn’t happen if you haven’t built solid habits and routines to consistently do your current job well.

A diet weight is a goal you want to hit. A habit of regular exercise and a habit of eating well are what get you there.

Goals are important, but it’s the habits you create that get you to those goals.

Maintain and Sustain

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If you asked me, before today, I’d say that I was slumping with respect to my daily workouts. But what does that really mean? For many, slumping would mean that I’ve ‘fallen off the wagon’, or that I’ve stopped my habits and routines and need to get back into them. That’s not the case. I’ve only missed 2 workouts out of the first 32 days of 2024. That’s not a slump, that’s a great habit. One of those 2 days was a choice, the other was an unexpected day trip to the island, and I was either with people or traveling from 6:15am to after 11pm. So why was I thinking I was slumping?

Well, even though I’ve been pushing myself on my daily 20 minute cardio, my weights workouts have been tough. I tend to only do one muscle group every day, and so it’s not like I’m in my home gym for a long time. I’m usually in and out in less than 45 minutes, including my cardio and 10 minutes of stretching. So, basically I’m talking about 3 sets of 1 exercise, sometimes a bit more, but not much more. And this one part of my workout has been, well, ‘slumpy’. Normally I can get to my last few reps and really push hard. I can focus and push and grunt my way past the mental pressure to stop, and eek out reps that are unpleasant but very beneficial for growth and/or increases in strength. Recently I just don’t have what it takes to get those last few reps out, and I stop when I should be pushing through… that’s my slump, and it has been a challenge since the Christmas holidays.

The reframe for this, after talking to my buddy after our Saturday morning Crunch walk,  is that this is not a slump. He framed it as ‘the space between’. That didn’t work for me, because I think of those between spaces as sacred times that are productive. Still, I understood the message he was sharing, that I was beating myself up about not making gains, when I was still committed and showing up! I’m not running a sprint, I’m working on perseverance and the long game, and so 30/32 days so far this year is better than the start of any year so far. That’s not a slump.

We live our lives with expectations of always improving. The whole 1% better every day, fake it ’till you make it, push, persevere, strive, and even ‘try-try again’, are all messages that we have to keep going and we have to be better than we were yesterday. These make for wonderful quotes on posters, but the expectation is unrealistic. What about the spaces in between the 1% improvements? What happens there really matters. Are we maintaining and sustaining our previous gains or are we slumping and letting things slide?

I’m not slumping, I’m just not making fast gains. I’m maintaining my positive habits, I’m sustaining my routine so that when I’m both physically and mentally ready I can and will be able to make small, incremental improvements. I’ll repeat that for emphasis: small, incremental improvements. I’m no longer that guy that went on holidays in March of 2018 and couldn’t see the strings on my bathing suit because of my belly paunch. I look better at 56 than I did at 36, (well maybe not my hairline, but everything else).

Right now I can’t seem to get that extra push at the end of my workout sets… the sets I do almost every single day, even when I don’t want to do them. I’m not slumping, I’m just in between gains, I am maintaining and sustaining awesome habits and more improvements are in my future. The more I let go of the expectations, while keeping the positive habits, the happier and healthier I’ll be!

Bad choices

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We all make bad choices. The collective ‘we’ do so in so many categories: Food, exercise, sleep, relationships, procrastination, gaming, social media, alcohol & drugs, even hygiene… Did you know that flossing your teeth can increase life expectancy?

The operative word in ‘bad choice’ is choice. Choice suggests that we have power, we have control, and we can make other choices. That’s easier said than done. It’s easy to skip a workout, to buy a fast food meal, to distract yourself with attention seeking media, and avoid doing something harder, even if it’s better for you.

For me, that’s where my healthy living calendar comes in handy. I can see my progress, and I can see when I’ve made a mistake. I can see the bad habit repeating itself… and I can actually stop it. I’ve missed two daily mediations so far this year. I’ve chosen to take just 2 days off from working out so far (which is still an average of more than 6 days a week). I’ve written every day. I don’t lie to my calendar, and my calendar doesn’t lie to me.

But I have other goals, other good habits that I want to implement, and a few bad habits I want to reduce. I’ve put the dental floss in front of my toothbrush, so I actually have to move it to brush my teeth, but I still don’t floss regularly. I’ve put a mid-week 30 minute time limit on TikTok… my version of watching TV, but I’ll often end up distracted watching similar videos on other platforms. Easy entertainment and also an easy distraction from some of the other things I want to do.

I still make some bad choices. I still distract myself with everything from watching videos to work emails. I still stay up way too late and still get up early to start my routine. I’m writing this late at night, past my bedtime goal. Like I wrote yesterday, the impediment becomes the way. But when I wrote that I made it sound like I had my shit together… I really got the point of the book, and I was living by the quote, “It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than think your way into a new way of acting.”

However, while it’s easier to act your way, rather than think your way, into doing better things, it’s also easier to embrace the impediment: To live in the status quo and continue to make bad choices. I’m not beating myself up about it, I’m just admitting that it’s hard to change, it’s hard to make good choices when the bad ones are so easy and even attractive. Still, I’m winning a lot of battles. I write every day. I exercise and meditate almost every day. I feel fit, healthy, and even happy. Yeah, I’m still going to make some bad choices, I’m just not going to make really bad choices, and I’m not going to let the bad choices define me. The good things I’m doing are pretty good, and pretty good is a pretty good place to be.

Seizing Moments

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Yesterday I had the opportunity to have lunch with my admin team. Now when I say that I’m talking about 3 ‘teammates’ that do not work in the same building as me. So when we can get together and enjoy a meal it’s a special moment. The moment was made that much more special because two of the three people I met are moving on… one to a new position, and the other one retiring. Then, after work, I connected with some other administrators for a wellness gathering. It was wonderful to spend that time connecting with colleagues that I don’t always see during my typical work week. And when I came home, my wife and I had a wonderful evening together. We both seem to have a little more energy than we usually do on a Friday night. It was a fun night of laughter and conversation.

This morning I did the Coquitlam crunch with my buddy, and while it was cold and early, and we were the only ones in the parking lot, it was a ‘seize the moment kind’ of opportunity. This was our 120th Crunch since we started 3 years ago in January 2020. My buddy suggested that the title of this post should be “Just Do It”, and that was the initial plan, but my thoughts go a little beyond that this afternoon.

After our walk and coffee shop social, I went home and said bye to my wife and helped her pack the car to head over to the island to visit her parents. Then my daughter called and asked for a ride because she spent an anniversary night out with her boyfriend and they were heading home from downtown. After dropping her boyfriend at his house, my daughter and I decided to go and enjoy a sushi lunch at a wonderful restaurant. I can’t express how wonderful it is to have grown-up kids who still look forward to a meal with their father (and yes, especially when he’s paying).

Now I am sitting in my hot tub, penning my ideas using voice to text, and even enjoying a little visit for my cat.

Visits with colleagues, chats with my wife, walks with friends, meals with family, and hot tubs on a cold winter day, these are all small little moments individually… But weave them together, and they make for an absolutely wonderful life.

We sometimes go headlong into work, and bury ourselves in busyness, not realizing that we don’t have to put everything on hold until our next vacation, or gathering with family or friends. Tiny moments, planned, and unplanned, are the moments we need to seek and enjoy.

Rethinking sleep

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I probably shared this before, but as a 30 year old, new to teaching, I got used to very little sleep. I’d routinely get 5 or less hours sleep for several nights in a row. A friend and colleague who struggled when he had less than 8 hours sleep told me that I was burning my candle at both ends and that I was going to die 10 years younger because of my lack of sleep.

That night, some time after 1am, I sent him an email basically explaining that I’d done the math and if I lived to 70 and he lived to 80, then I would have been awake longer than him.

Now in my mid 50’s I definitely need more sleep. I also notice that I really don’t function as well when I’m tired. However I still struggle to get 6.5-7hrs sleep most nights in a week. My weekly average is probably closer to 6 than 7 hours nightly. And my sleep is a little more interrupted too.

And this is despite the fact that every medical professional I follow and learn from speaks about the value of sleep. I know I don’t get enough of it. I know this isn’t a healthy choice. Yet I’m still up late writing this and I’m going to be up before everyone else in my family tomorrow morning.

I need to rethink this. I need to schedule longer sleep times… and I need to go to sleep now.

Sweet dreams.

Hello 2024 – Healthy Living Goals

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A new year, a new plan.

I’ve learned a lot about setting goals and keeping them since I started my Healthy Living Goals back on January 1st, 2019.

I picked up the book Atomic Habits around then, and it both reinforced some good systems I had in place and also gave me new and powerful insights to keep my good habits going. I used a year-long calendar to track my goals and continued doing this for ’20, ’21, and ’22, but decided I didn’t need it for 2023. And while I did a fantastic job with my fitness. I did however develop a herniated disc in my neck that set me back quite a bit at the start of the year, but I came back with a new focus and feel that my body has responded and recovered. But on a less successful note, I totally let my meditation commitment slide.

For 2024 I’m going back to my calendar, and I’m publicly sharing my goals, because I know it’s a good external motivation for me to make my goals public. Here they are:

1. An average of 6 workouts a week. 20 minutes of cardio, stretching, and at least one body part pushed to 3 hard sets.

2. Meditation: A minimum of 10 minutes daily, and one day for longer than that, (tracked with a black dot on my daily sticker when I at least double the 10 minute minimum).

3. Writing my Daily-Ink every day… Continuing my streak from July 2019. While this is already a consistent daily habit, I think it’s great to have one goal on my calendar where I have a continuous streak running.

4. More writing/creating: My goal will be to write, or edit videos (a project with my uncle), or doing something creative, 3 times a week for at least an hour. Most if not all of this will be on the weekends, but I also plan on making more time for myself daily.

How will I find more time in my week? I plan on being on my phone less. A lot less. I haven’t always been great with my phone habits but I think it got worse in 2023. I’m going to cut my scrolling. I’m going to start writing blog posts on my laptop rather than phone. I’m going to schedule time when my phone is on the counter rather than on me.

I rarely watch TV, I don’t watch sports, I think I can meet my above goals by sticking to current habits and just using my time better. I’m writing this (admittedly on my phone) on New Year’s Eve. I tried before, but unsuccessfully, to write at night rather than in the morning, so that I have more time for things like meditation and stretching when I wake up.

So there you have it. I do have a few physical goals beyond regular workouts. But having just spent 6 and a half months getting my left arm (almost) back to full strength, because my herniated disc pinched a nerve that seriously impinged the strength of most exercises I did with that arm… I consider these goals secondary, and may cautiously change these if they push me too hard.

These goals include:

  • 30 pull-ups (I did 15 today for my first set and 10 on a second set). When I first had this goal it was also along with the goal of 60 pushups… I did that one morning last month. 💪😀👍
  • Bench 225 lbs (two 45 plates on each side of the bar). This is something I did (albeit not for full sets) at the start of the year, but I have a way to go to get back there, and even further to be doing full sets at that weight.
  • A 30 second unassisted handstand. I have had this (unattained) goal for a number of years. I was on a roll until a minor shoulder injury, then never got back to trying.

Again, these are goals that may change but I wanted to put them ‘out there’. My fully committed goals are the 4 numbered ones above. I’m truly excited about what 2024 has in store!

Uncertainty and doubt

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I had a dream last night. In it someone I care about was asking my why I even bother writing my daily blog? She called it boring and a waste of time. In all honesty, this being said in my dream bugged me more than if the person in my dream actually said it in person. It bothered me because I am the author of my dreams, not the people I see in them.

So essentially I was casting doubt on myself. That’s harsh.

Why bother? Why make the effort? Who do I think I am, that anyone would care to read what I have to say? These are the internal voices of uncertainty and doubt. These are questions that tear me down rather than build me up.

These are the pangs that prevent people from sharing their ideas, their writing, their art, their creative expression, and even their love.

“I’m not good enough.”

“Other people are so much better.”

“I’m not creative enough.”

“I have nothing of value to say.”

It’s easier to silence the naysayers than it is to silence your own inner voice. I can handle all kinds of feedback. I can learn from the harshest of criticism. A perfect example is an angry, yelling coach never upset me, I just took the feedback.

But that inside voice… that nagging self-doubt, that self-uncertainty, that is something I do not always battle well with. It holds me back. It keeps me from speaking up, from stepping up, from confidently sharing my thoughts and opinions.

Why is it that the internal battles we face are so much harder than the outside ones?

What helps me is consistency. It’s developing habits where I can push through the uncertainty and doubt. It’s creating small accomplishments that lead me to successful outcomes. No, I’m not going to be the athlete I was in my 20’s ever again… but I’m fitter now than I ever was in my 30’s and 40’s, and I suffer less back pain than I did in my 20’s. Oh, and no one workout got me where I am today.

In fact it wasn’t the good workouts that got me here, it was the days that I didn’t want to work out, the times I had to talk myself into just going through the motions that made me get to this point. I’m floundering a bit right now with working out, but I still get my butt on my stationary bike or treadmill every day. I still don’t let myself miss 2 days in a row, and rarely let myself miss 3 days in a week.

Some days I might hit the publish button on my blog and think ‘that’s not a great post’. But I still hit the button, I still make the effort. I still read over my work and try to edit it. And I still get mad at myself when I see a typo or wrong word published. The same critic that tries to stop me can also be my friend. It doesn’t just shut me down, it adds an element of high expectations towards all my final work.

And that’s why my dream this morning hurt me a bit. It was my inner voice being a gremlin, trying to find fault with myself, my work, my creativity. Uncertainty and doubt are not usually our friends, they are the bedfellows of procrastination and excuses. They are the enemies of confidence and productivity. And while they may lay dormant for a while, they can creep up on us when we least expect it. Like in our dreams…

But I’m awake now. It’s time to hit the publish button. It’s time to get on the treadmill. There is work to be done and I’ll just tuck the uncertainty and doubt away.