Tag Archives: action

The impediment becomes the way

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I’m re-listening to Gary John Bishop’s book, ‘Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life’, which has a very stoic approach. One quote that speaks to me from the book is from Marcus Aurelius:

“The impediment to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.”

On a positive note, the obstacles to learning can become the impetus to new learning, like this example from a student at Inquiry Hub… where a roadblock to continuing a project led to new, creative approaches and learning.

But often the impediment or obstacle becomes the block to new learning, or new approaches, or different, better ways of doing things. The impediment becomes the way, it becomes what you do, or rather what you do to avoid change, or worse yet what you use to define yourself. “I can’t” becomes the mantra, the limiting thought that makes not changing, not improving easier than doing what’s best. “I’m too tired, too lazy, too fat, too stubborn, too ‘insert-excuse-here’ to change. You continue to do what you did before, or you try something new, but decide that what you are already doing is either easier or more comfortable than the thing you had hoped to do. What stands in the way becomes the way. Inaction becomes the action.

This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes, attributed to Jerry Sternin, but I read it in ‘Surfing the Edge of Chaos‘.

“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking,
than think your way into a new way of acting.”

We often convince ourselves of things we should not do, we talk ourselves out of trying new things, and we limit ourselves by thinking something is too hard… we think our way out of acting differently. The reality is that we are quite good at that. Our thoughts themselves become the impediment. The trick to overcoming this is to act… to actually start doing regardless of the thinking. Start small. Start really, really small but start to ‘do’ the thing we want to do. We are far more likely to achieve our goals if we act our way into doing them rather than trying to convince ourselves that we can do them.

Our thoughts can impede us, or our actions can push our thoughts forwards so that the thoughts (eventually) follow our actions.

“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking,
than think your way into a new way of acting.”

Otherwise, the impediment to action advances (non) action.  Start small… but start now.

Do the thing

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“Preparing to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Scheduling time to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Making a to-do list for the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Telling people you’re going to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Writing a banger tweet about how you’re going to do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn’t doing the thing. Hating on other people who have done the thing isn’t doing the thing. Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Fantasizing about all of the adoration you’ll receive once you do the thing isn’t doing the thing.

Reading about how to do the thing isn’t doing the thing. Reading about how other people did the thing isn’t doing the thing. Reading this essay isn’t doing the thing.

The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.” ~ Strangest Loop

It doesn’t matter if it’s a workout, a phone call, a challenging conversation, or even a blog post. The task won’t get done unless you actually do it. That said, if you want it done, it’s good to schedule it, it’s good to add it to your tasks, and it’s good to tell people and make the thing public. The quote above doesn’t dismiss doing these preparatory things, it just identifies that these aren’t enough.

The only thing that is enough is doing the thing.

Execution, not just ideas.

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I came across this quote by Felix Dennis:

“If you never have a single great idea in your life, but become skilled in executing the great ideas of others you can succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Seek them out and make them work. They do not have to be your ideas. Execution is all, in this regard. If on the other hand, you spend your days thinking up and developing in your mind this great idea or that, you are unlikely to get rich. Although you are likely to make many others rich. That’s usually the way of it. Ideas don’t make you rich, the correct execution of ideas does.”

I think this message is equally true for achieving any goals, not just getting rich. Execution, execution, execution.

I’m reminded of a joke about an old man praying. He says, “God, I’ve been a good man, a loving husband, a devoted father, a loyal employee. I’ve lived a good life. I’ve never asked you for anything. Now I am old, and I am tired. Please, can you help me win the lottery?”

He doesn’t win. Each night he repeats this prayer. Again, and again, and again. After a full year of saying this prayer before bed, nothing. And on the 366th day of saying this prayer, he finishes with, “…Please, can you help me win the lottery?” Then in a thundering and frustrated voice God replies, “I want to help you, but can you at least buy a ticket?

Execution, execution, execution.

Actions, not words – Derek Sivers

I’m a fan of Derek Sivers. He’s someone who seems to have really figured out how to live life meaningfully and I think he lives a joyful life. Other people I follow live good lives, but I’m not sure they are truly happy. I think Derek is a rare kind of person that finds joy wherever he looks. He does what he wants to do, when he wants to do it, and is brutally honest with himself about what he really wants to do. I don’t think he spends a lot of time thinking, I really want to do ‘this’. He just decides to do it.

I’ve written specifically about him a couple times:

And I’ve mentioned him a few more times.

I listened to him on a podcast and this really hit a chord with me (related to his idea about goals, shared above):

“I have a concept that says that your actions reveal your values better than your words. So no matter what you say you want to do, your actions show what your values really are.”

How often do we have goals or plans that we never get to?

‘I’m going to start this project after…’

And no matter what we say next, something else comes up to delay us.

Or, ‘I really want to do this but…’

And after the ‘but’ comes an excuse about not having time, money, resources.

Do you really want to do it, or is it just wishful thinking?

I wanted to do a daily blog for years. I started this ‘Daily-Ink’ in 2010, but I didn’t really decide to do it until 2019. For 9 years it was wishful thinking. Then I decided: it’s not that I want to be a writer, I am a writer… and the way to be a writer is to write every day. So, it’s not even 6am yet, and I’m done my daily write.

Actions, not words… Or in my case the action of consistently writing words. 😃

Just show up

I shared this in an email home to parents recently:

While I know this has been a challenging year for many students and families, I think it’s important this time of year, as we head into a report card next week, to remind families of how important attendance is at our school. Students with significant absences tend to fall into a very unhealthy loop that includes:
Falling behind in work; Telling parents they work better at home, but missing key instructions to help them at home; Not getting the support they need; Not feeling good about being behind and finding reasons to avoid school.

Ultimately, we can’t help students that aren’t here at school, and the best ‘medicine’ for a student with too many absences is a dedication to getting to school as long as health conditions don’t prevent it. This isn’t a problem we can find a solution for without parent support. Please contact us if you’d like to discuss attendance further. I, or one of our team, will be contacting some of you after report cards go out.

—-

Report cards have now gone out and I will be calling a few parents to talk about concerns we have around poor attendance.

We live in a society now where there is so much pressure to do well; to be your best; to shine. It’s not easy. But sometimes the message doesn’t have to be ‘you are awesome’, ‘you have so much potential’, or ‘push yourself’. Sometimes the message of ‘just show up’ is all we need to hear.

  • Don’t plan an hour workout, just show up at the gym.
  • Don’t worry about how much you have to do, just start.
  • Don’t create a huge ‘to do’ list, pick 2-3 things you know you can get done and check those off… even if showing up is one of those things!

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than thinking your way into a new way of acting. ~Richard Pascale

Just show up!

Choosing not to act

There are moments in your life when doing nothing is better than doing something. These are seldom moments when nothing feels like the right thing to do, but then time and reflection allow you to see that you made the right decision. Here are a few examples:

  • You are in an incident where someone is displaying road rage. They get out of the car and want to confront you. You keep your windows up and doors locked and drive away.
  • You own shares and the whole market does a dive (not just your stocks), and rather than selling low, you do nothing. A week and a half later your stock prices are where they were before the crash.
  • Your child tells you about a very bad choice they made, but they chose to tell you rather than to hide it from you. You want to punish him/her but know that this could cost you the relationship where they feel they can come to you.

Choosing not to act is different than passively doing nothing. That’s the fundamental difference: One is a choice, the other is a lack of choice. Knowing and understanding the difference, that comes with experience, and a good dose of reflection. Because choosing not to act doesn’t always feel right, and only after looking back at the experience later can you truly see if non-action was the best, or at least a good, choice.

7 Sins, Part 7 – Sloth

Sloth is procrastination without the pressure of a looming deadline. It is void of inspiration. It leaves us wanting less, doing less, accomplishing less.We all feel reluctance and laziness at points in our lives, resistance to things we know we must do.

Sloth is our enemy masked as a friend. It sits there exuding complacency, comfort in lethargy, inviting us to join it on the couch, in front of the television. Sloth tells us the 5th hour of a Netflix series binge is entertainment we deserve. It convinces us that the gym can wait until tomorrow. It comforts us as we scroll, aimlessly lurking on social media. It permits us to tidy up and clean up another day… soon, or maybe just later, yes, later sounds much better than soon.

Sloth is an ailment that convinces you there is no cure. It convinces you that there is no ailment. You are fine just the way you are. Sloth clears your agenda, and gives you less new information and less new experiences to stimulate your mind, making nothing something comfortable to do. In this way, sloth perpetuates itself. It is a sickness that blind you to itself, dulling your experiences and numbing your thoughts of new and different opportunities.

The remedy to sloth is action, no matter how small it may seem. It is turning off the TV, putting down your phone, getting off the couch and going for a walk. It is raising your head and looking around, calling a friend, or getting 15 min of exercise. The wonderful thing about the remedy to sloth is that action invites more action. Just as sloth perpetuates itself, so does the cure. Once we have momentum, it is easy to recognize that the best time to start something new is now!

7 Sins Series

  1. Gluttony
  2. Envy
  3. Pride
  4. Lust
  5. Wrath
  6. Greed
  7. Sloth

Windows and doors

A closed windows let you see what is beyond your reach. Closed doors do not.

Closed windows still let you envision where you can go, while shut doors block your view and your path.

When windows open, they let fresh air in. When doors open, they let you out.

Windows of opportunity can provide you with the chance to see what’s possible, but you can’t get there until the door is open and you are ready to step through it.

Are you a viewer or a doer?

Most doors do not open themselves.

The pain of inaction

“Most failures are one-time costs. Most regrets are recurring costs.

The pain of inaction stings longer than the pain of incorrect action.
~ James Clear

When I look back on my life, I have very few regrets. I do not look back longingly, I look back fondly. I look at my mistakes as lessons, and my repeated mistakes as necessary because I wasn’t yet ready to learn the lesson. But when I do think of regrets, it is almost never for the things that I did, but rather the things that I did not do.

I regret not appreciating the outdoors enough on a beautiful day, not taking a photo, not spending more quality time with a lost friend or family member. I do not regret trying something challenging or new. Indecision or lack of action are far more likely to haunt me than a bad decision.

I remember reading once that this Shakespeare quote was wrong,

“A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.”

In reality the hero confronts the same thousand deaths the coward does, except the hero actually faces them. Heroes are not ignorant of the same fears and worries of the coward, they just don’t cower at them.

“The pain of inaction stings longer than the pain of incorrect action.”

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Image by MDARIFLIMAT

Expand Your Horizons

We were cleaning out our garage on Sunday and my wife was sorting things for a garage sale.

She came across 2 home repair books I’ve used in the past and asked me if we should keep them. “Yes”, I said, remembering one of the book’s usefulness when replacing a toilet. Then “Actually no”, I said, remembering that I haven’t looked at either of those books in years, having gone instead to YouTube.

Just the day before, I couldn’t figure out how to remove an old-style door knob from our basement, and I watched a young boy on YouTube show me how… with his small hands and an off-camera voice that could not have been more than 12 years old.

We are so lucky to live in an era where learning something new is always within our reach. Not just home repair, but new skills and new approaches to the way we think, learn, work, and play.

What are you currently trying to do that you couldn’t do before? How are you expanding your horizons?

“If you only do what you can do, you’ll never be more than you are.” ~ Shifu, Kung Fu Panda 3