Reflections of the past

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I noticed it just as I was hitting ‘send’. My daughter had sent a Snapchat from a cottage she was leaving, a quick note to her family to say that she enjoyed her little getaway. I sent a response photo, a quick selfie as a replay with a comment like, ‘Hope you had fun’ written over the image. I didn’t pose. I didn’t concern myself with how I looked. It was only a quick picture going to my family, and so I just clicked the photo, wrote the text, and sent the image off to the group chat… knowing that it would disappear just after my family saw it. That’s the thing about Snapchat, unless one of my family saved the image in the chat, it would be gone after they look at it.

Except, for a split second before I hit the send button I saw something I didn’t expect. I saw a reflection of my grandfather in the image of myself. This was unusual, because I don’t really look like him. Sure, I often see reflections of my dad in my own reflection, we have similar traits and they seem to converge as I age, but I don’t have a lot of similar features to my grandfather, my mother’s dad.

I’d only seen this once before, years ago, and again on Snapchat. I used the aging filter and for the first time ever I saw a resemblance to my grandfather when I added about 25 years to my current age. But this time there was no filter, no gimmick, just a quick, unposed image of myself and a peek of my grandfather looking back at me.

It has been almost a quarter of a century since my grandfather passed away. Just over 38 years since the other one passed. That amazes me, because some of the memories of them still feel close. A friend recently shared this about aging, “The days seem longer, and the years seem shorter.” This resonates with me. A day seems to last about a day long, it doesn’t fly by, but the years have. My reflection in the mirror is somehow older than it should be. The man looking back has seen more years than I expect him to see.

It was just a quick glimpse of my own reflection, but one that has me reflecting on how quickly time passes. One that has me appreciating those who have been part of my life, and are gone, as well as those who are here with me now. The years are short, but they are lengthened by the memories we form, the moments that are not just ordinary. If we don’t make efforts to connect with others and create special moments, then those moments are nothing more than Snapchat memories… gone moments after we look at them.

Trade your expectation with appreciation

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I was listening to The Tim Ferriss Show today and heard this great quote from Tony Robbins: “You want to change your life fast then trade your expectation for appreciation and you have a whole new life.”

(Listen to the full gratitude & appreciation quote by Tony Robbins here.)

It’s easy to forget sometimes how blessed we are. It can be all consuming as we seek and want more, while forgetting how much we have already.

Possible future you robs happiness from the present you.

Don’t let future you steal your happiness today.

Bask in appreciation of what you have: Family, friends, health, work, hobbies, food, health, wealth… you might not be exactly where you want future you to be, but if you take stock right now, you probably have a lot to appreciate and be happy about.

Epic Tales

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I’m watching Foundation on Apple TV. It’s loosely based on Isaac Asimov’s novel series by the same name. It’s about an empire roughly 25,000 years in the future. It has all the components of an epic tale, with power and greed, betrayal, uprising, rebels, assassins, and unlikely heroes.

I am in awe of writers who can come up with tales in imagined worlds like this, The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, and other epics that involve intricate world building and cultures or alien life forms. I love when storylines weave together, and when tangential incidents become entire storylines.

The art of telling a grand story that spans generations is one that I truly admire. To be able to build entire worlds, like Philip Pullman did in His Dark Materials series, leaves me in awe. That such worlds can be created in one’s mind… it’s just absolutely incredible.

If you watched Back to the Future as a kid like me, you probably thought we’d have hoverboards instead of skateboards by now. If you also watched the Jetsons, you’d probably have expected robot maids and flying cars. We haven’t progressed as fast as our imaginations, but that’s to be expected.

We have an incredible ability to imagine far more than we are capable of. And as I write this, somewhere in the world a child is being born. He or she won’t be the saviour of the human race, they won’t be a hero that stops the destruction of the universe, but they just might be the next author to capture the imaginations of us all in an epic tale that we couldn’t imagine right now.

Who is an author who has created an epic tale that kept you enthralled?

The Reality of the Job

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I just did a meditation that led to a short nap, and now I’m reflecting on my day ‘off’.

There are some jobs that you never have to take home with you. A Starbucks barista doesn’t have to think about their job when they aren’t working. Even when I was a Starbucks manager, there were many days when my shift was over and I didn’t think much about work until I returned for my next shift… although there were times I ended up working much more than an 8 hour day. However, I didn’t enjoy being a Starbucks manager nearly as much as being a teacher or principal of a school… but those are two very different jobs than the ones at Starbucks. The reality of being in education is that you take the job home with you.

I’ve been sick and away from work most of this week. And for a lot of it, I was truly off. A low-grade but persistent headache, flu symptoms and unpleasant coughing kept me from work, both physically and mentally. But it’s hiring time for next year and a couple positions I posted closed last night. And so today I spent most of the day coughing my way through interviews, catching up  on emails, and making some phone calls. I worked a 6+ hour day, despite it being a sick day. That’s the nature of work sometimes. I’m not complaining. I really rested yesterday and feel a lot better (though I sound a lot worse) today. It would have been nice to take today fully off too, but the reality is that some jobs just aren’t like that… and I chose a job that’s just not like that.

It’s pretty awesome being in a job with so many caring and thoughtful people that are dedicated to their jobs. It inspires me and makes days like this, days where I’m off, but not really off, to appreciate the dedication of others who do the same, don’t complain, and do a fantastic job. Whenever I hear someone complain about teachers having it easy, and having summers off, or any talk like that, it usually comes from one of two places: Either it’s from someone who doesn’t take their work home with them, or it’s from someone who does, but also benefits financially from doing so (working towards commission, a bonus, or getting paid overtime). Meanwhile teachers and principals work many extra unpaid hours and even when not well, despite having hundreds of sick days accumulated… And they put time in on weekends marking, and stay after school to prepare lessons, coach, and run events well into the evenings.

It’s the reality of the job, and it’s done for the love of serving others… Even when we aren’t at 100%.

The good news is that my headache has subsided, and I’m on the mend. I’m going to spend my weekend catching up on some shows I’ve neglected and getting a bit more sleep. I need to give myself the time I need to fully recover, to ensure that I stay healthy for the crazy month ahead.

 

Still down for the count

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A cough and low-grade headache are going to keep me home from work for one more day. I’ve noticed that the past few years I seem to get a headache as both a precursor to flu symptoms, and it stays with me while sick. This forces me to have less screen time, and frankly I get quite bored. Even ebooks don’t really work for me because I can’t concentrate on them and keep having to rewind parts.

So, I’m moping at home. The good news is, no matter how much my sinuses bother me, I seem to never lose my appetite and enjoy the taste of food. So, that’s my joy in the day, eating… and a hot tub.

I just hope tonight I can get more sleep because the last few nights have been really broken, and I’m wanting that to improve tonight. So away goes this screen and while I hope to be down for the night, I’m also hoping tomorrow and the weekend will rejuvenate me and get me ready for June… the busiest month of the school year!

Unnecessary conflict

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When expectations of outcomes are different, there is often unnecessary conflict.

When people are faced with unknowns that worry them, there is often unnecessary conflict.

When there is misunderstanding, there is often unnecessary conflict.

When there is disappointment, there is often unnecessary conflict.

When there is disagreement, there is often unnecessary conflict.

Things don’t go as planned, people don’t always see things from the same perspective, goals often vary from person to person. This is just part of life. Conflict is often built up unnecessarily. Conflict is created by seeing things from just one viewpoint.

Conflict is often optional. A choice. A defence mechanism. Not necessarily desired, but brought on from holding a perspective that is biased or fixed.

At times, conflict is also necessary. And in these rare cases it should not be avoided. Running away from a conflict can create a greater conflict later.

But more often than not conflict can be avoided… it is unnecessary. It results not from need but from misunderstanding, or lack of awareness. Seek to understand, not to be right. Ask questions before making statements. Listen with intent to understand, not to defend a viewpoint. And look for common ground rather than reasons to disagree.

Conflict is often optional.

Empty Cup

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The timing was perfect. I was not feeling well and took the day off. Then I saw this later in the day:

There was a bit of work that still had to be done, but I needed this day… and I took it. I think now of all the times I didn’t. I’m not sure I was my best, and it probably showed. We can’t be at our best when our own cup is empty.

Social Battery

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I’m often mistaken as an extrovert. Because I’ve been blogging for about 18 years now, and putting my thoughts and my work ‘out there’, that is often mistaken as being an extrovert. Because I can get up in front of a group of people and do a presentation, I am obviously an extrovert.

But I’m not.

Putting my work ‘out there’ is a solitary thing. I’m writing this in the silence of my house, before 6am, when everyone else here is sleeping. Presenting in front of people makes me a bit nervous, but it also is a solitary act. It’s not a group conversation. Ask me to act a scene out and a freeze. Give me 5 lines to memorize and perform, and I’m a mess.

Social gatherings of more than 6 people are a stressful situation for me. I’d rather sit and chat with one person all day than be in a party with 12 people I know very well. And in bigger groups, or with people I don’t know that well, I’d rather crawl under a rock.

For me, large groups are where my social battery runs out. I get tired, I disengage. I feel the need to isolate myself. I never feel that way when I’m on my own, or in a one-on-one conversation. I’m never bored when I’m by myself.

My battery gets drained when I have to be in large groups for long periods of time, and especially over several days. It’s an introvert’s life for me. My focus is inward, my connections are individual rather than group oriented. And my battery gets charged when I’m having a conversation with one other person, or maybe two, rather than in a group.

I’m often mistaken as an extrovert, and while that’s not a bad thing, it can be hard on my social battery. And after a while I need a bit of solitude in order to recharge. And solitude time doesn’t drain my battery at all… it’s like during that time I’m remaining plugged in, keeping myself fully charged.

Next level DJ

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I was at my niece’s wedding last night. The music was great and we had a wonderful time dancing the night away. No complaints, it was wonderful… but it wasn’t John David Akin AMAZING.

Most people know him as a Global News journalist, but I know him as the best DJ I’ve ever heard in a bar. This was back in the late 1980’s, in Guelph Ontario, and JDA was so well liked that his name would come before the event. It wasn’t the Bullring Halloween Dance, it was John David Akin’s Halloween at the Bullring. He was the draw to the event.

He had this skill of blending and teasing in the next song that was so seamless that you missed it. You’d be dancing to one song, hear a teaser of the next song, and a cheer would come from the dancers. Then you’d hear the tease again, and 10 -20 seconds later you’d be dancing to the new song with zero memory of a transition from the last song. If this happened once, it would be a cool trick, but when it happened over and over again, it felt like magic.

The other thing he did was to masterfully choose 5 songs that kept you on the dance floor. You never went on for one song and then didn’t like the next song. No, you’d hear a song you loved, get on the dance floor and then you were there for a guaranteed 4-5 songs. Then there would be a shift in musical style, a scream from people off the dance floor, and 1/3 to 1/2 of the people on the dance floor and in the seating area and isles would trade places.

This was great for business too. Dance yourself thirsty for several songs then a mass switch to get new people dancing and thirsty while drinks are being ordered by those who just got off the dance floor.

There was no denying the artistry of his work. I was reminded of this last night. The DJ tried to tease and blend, but it was clunky. The transitions were a bit rough. And I’m not even throwing shade at the DJ, I had a great time last night… It’s just when you’ve heard the absolute best, good just isn’t great, and I’m going to notice the difference.

Oh and JDA sang a mean version of Grandmaster Flash’s White Lines. The first time I heard it, I didn’t even know it was him singing until I heard the name of the bar we were in sung in the lyrics. He had many skills, but when it came to teasing and blending songs, John David Akin was the GOAT.

Generation bump

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It’s the first one in our family. My niece, my sister-in-law’s daughter, is getting married today. This is the start of a new chapter for our family. I haven’t been to a wedding in many years, but they will become more frequent in the coming years.

It’s a little surreal to realize that we are now the parent generation. We are the sandwich generation often thinking (and sometimes worrying) about both our parents and our kids. We are the adults. That sounds silly to say, but I’m probably not the only one that questions how I got to this phase of life, how I’m not the kid still trying to figure things out?

New life adventures lay ahead, new firsts in a new chapter of our lives.