Tag Archives: dedication

Routine Ownership

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I heard this quote by Alex Hormozi from Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom podcast:

“…if you cannot function without your routine, your routine owns you, you do not own it. Full stop.”

At first this hit me hard. I’m so committed to my routines that I thought he was talking directly to me… a metaphorical gut punch of insight that I needed to hear. That was my first instinct. Now I see it differently.

Basically this is true if you are obsessed with your routine, but otherwise it’s healthy. Only if your routine is costing you your wellbeing or your relationships with others would I agree that a routine owning you is an issue. Beyond the routine costing you in a very unhealthy way, you need the routine to pull you, to ‘own’ you in a way, or it wouldn’t be a routine.

We have some routines that are non-negotiable commitments. For example, if you have kids, you need to feed them. You don’t break the routine and not feed them dinner. But if the routine (or habit) is something negotiable, like meditation, or working out, or a minimum number of steps in a day, for example… Then there are always reasons to break the routine, or break the streak. If you don’t let the routine own you, it will quickly not become routine.

The routine needs to own you or it will no longer be something you regularly do. It’s that simple. If I’m headed to bed, exhausted, and I haven’t written my daily blog post, it’s easy to say, ‘I’ll just skip today.” But then it’s easier and easier to have other ‘acceptable’ excuses… And I would not have recently achieved 7 years of daily blogging. It’s not that I can’t function otherwise, it’s not an issue that the routine owns me more than I own it. In fact, this is precisely what is needed to ensure the routine continues.

I’ll end where I started just two days ago when I said about ‘Streaks and hard things’:

1. Our streaks are part of our identity. They don’t define us, we are defined by the act of keeping them.

2. Do hard things. The effort is its own reward. I don’t know anyone with a hard-to-keep streak who isn’t also doing well in other aspects of their lives, and ‘crushing it’… A life with intentional hard things begets a life where challenges are met and overcome rather than seen as barriers and limitations. 

There might be a reason to stop in the future… but until then the streak will keep streaking.

And the routines will keep routining… but they’ve got to own you a bit for this to happen.

Approaching 200

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We didn’t know on a cold, wet, and dark Friday in January of 2021 that we would make this a usual thing. Two friends, feeling isolated with covid restrictions decided to do the Coquitlam Crunch so that we could meet outdoors when indoor meetings were restricted to your family circle. Now, over 4 and a half years later, we’ve completed our 190th Crunch together, averaging more than 40 a year.

We were about 50 in when we decided that 200 would be a great goal to achieve before we retired, and now that is all but guaranteed. Did we fathom this when we had done just one Crunch? No. We didn’t even know if we’d go again. But sure enough we kept going, with a goal of 40 a year to match the amount of school weeks in the year.

Now, I can’t think of anything I’ve been more dedicated to (besides my wife of course). We do everything we can to not to miss a week. We usually go out on Saturdays, but we’ll squeeze in a Thursday after school if one of us is away on the weekend.

Imagine being just over a year into a routine and deciding on a 5-year goal… then sticking to it. Sounds challenging, but it’s something I look forward to every week. I’d never have spent so much time with my buddy, Dave, if we hadn’t made this a goal, and an expectation. And there are more goals to come… stay tuned.

The Reality of the Job

I just did a meditation that led to a short nap, and now I’m reflecting on my day ‘off’.

There are some jobs that you never have to take home with you. A Starbucks barista doesn’t have to think about their job when they aren’t working. Even when I was a Starbucks manager, there were many days when my shift was over and I didn’t think much about work until I returned for my next shift… although there were times I ended up working much more than an 8 hour day. However, I didn’t enjoy being a Starbucks manager nearly as much as being a teacher or principal of a school… but those are two very different jobs than the ones at Starbucks. The reality of being in education is that you take the job home with you.

I’ve been sick and away from work most of this week. And for a lot of it, I was truly off. A low-grade but persistent headache, flu symptoms and unpleasant coughing kept me from work, both physically and mentally. But it’s hiring time for next year and a couple positions I posted closed last night. And so today I spent most of the day coughing my way through interviews, catching up  on emails, and making some phone calls. I worked a 6+ hour day, despite it being a sick day. That’s the nature of work sometimes. I’m not complaining. I really rested yesterday and feel a lot better (though I sound a lot worse) today. It would have been nice to take today fully off too, but the reality is that some jobs just aren’t like that… and I chose a job that’s just not like that.

It’s pretty awesome being in a job with so many caring and thoughtful people that are dedicated to their jobs. It inspires me and makes days like this, days where I’m off, but not really off, to appreciate the dedication of others who do the same, don’t complain, and do a fantastic job. Whenever I hear someone complain about teachers having it easy, and having summers off, or any talk like that, it usually comes from one of two places: Either it’s from someone who doesn’t take their work home with them, or it’s from someone who does, but also benefits financially from doing so (working towards commission, a bonus, or getting paid overtime). Meanwhile teachers and principals work many extra unpaid hours and even when not well, despite having hundreds of sick days accumulated… And they put time in on weekends marking, and stay after school to prepare lessons, coach, and run events well into the evenings.

It’s the reality of the job, and it’s done for the love of serving others… Even when we aren’t at 100%.

The good news is that my headache has subsided, and I’m on the mend. I’m going to spend my weekend catching up on some shows I’ve neglected and getting a bit more sleep. I need to give myself the time I need to fully recover, to ensure that I stay healthy for the crazy month ahead.

 

Easier and hard

It’s easier to eat unhealthy. It’s hard to avoid unhealthy snacks.

It’s easier to watch TV. It’s hard to push yourself hard in the gym.

It’s easier to scroll on your phone. It’s hard to get to bed early and get enough sleep.

It’s easier to skip a day. It’s harder to start a new streak.

It’s easier to make excuses. It’s harder to stick to a disciplined schedule.

It’s easier to make excuses. It’s hard to avoid excuses and do what needs to be done.

It’s easier to make excuses. It’s hard to convince yourself that your excuses aren’t good.

In the end, doing harder things is more rewarding. Easy things just aren’t as memorable, and aren’t as rewarding, and the satisfaction they provide are fleeting. Harder things bring results that you can see, and feel… and done often enough, the hard journey itself gets easier, even if the individual tasks remain hard. That’s the end goal, to make the hard things that are good for you easier to do, than the easy things that aren’t good for you.

And remember, you are always a work in progress… as long as you are moving in the right direction, don’t be too hard on yourself.

Kids and sports

I don’t know Trevlyn, but she wrote this on Facebook, I re-shared it 4 years ago, and it came up as a FB memory yesterday.

“One of my friends asked “Why do you pay so much money for your kids to do all their sports”? Well I have a confession to make; I don’t pay for my kids to to do sports. Personally, I couldn’t care less about what sport they do.

So, if I am not paying for sports what am I paying for?

– I pay for those moments when my kids become so tired they want to quit but don’t.

– I pay for those days when my kids come home from school and are “too tired” to go to their training but they go anyway.

– I pay for my kids to learn to be disciplined, focused and dedicated.

– I pay for my kids to learn to take care of their body and equipment.

– I pay for my kids to learn to work with others and to be good team mates, gracious in defeat and humble in success.

– I pay for my kids to learn to deal with disappointment, when they don’t get that placing or title they’d hoped for, but still they go back week after week giving it their best shot.

– I pay for my kids to learn to make and accomplish goals.

– I pay for my kids to respect, not only themselves, but other riders, officials and coaches.

– I pay for my kids to learn that it takes hours and hours, years and years of hard work and practice to create a champion and that success does not happen overnight.

– I pay for my kids to be proud of small achievements, and to work towards long term goals.

– I pay for the opportunity my kids have and will have to make life-long friendships, create lifelong memories, to be as proud of their achievements as I am.

– I pay so that my kids can be out on the track instead of in front of a screen…

…I could go on but, to be short, I don’t pay for sports; I pay for the opportunities that sports provides my kids with to develop attributes that will serve them well throughout their lives and give them the opportunity to bless the lives of others. From what I have seen so far I think it is a great investment!” – By Trevlyn Mayo Palframan

As a former coach this really speaks to me. As a parent, I can say that this applies equally to sport as to dance and theatre when it comes to competition, tryouts, and your kid not getting the part they want and still performing at their best.

Putting kids into activities they love is so valuable. So too is them trying a sport and not liking it, but committing to the team anyway. One of my daughters started a sport and a few months in she realized she wasn’t enjoying it. We told her that her team needed her and that she had to finish the season. She kept a positive attitude and gave her best at practices and games. I was as proud of that as I have been of trophies and awards. And she knew in the end that it was the right thing to do.

Sports aren’t just about learning skills in that sport, they are also about learning life skills, and creating memories and friendships that can last a lifetime.