Tag Archives: routines

What I’m dealing with

Any regular reader of my daily blog knows I’ve been dealing with neck, back, and shoulder pain. I was scheduled for a CT scan and fortunately a cancellation allowed me to jump the queue and I’ve already had it. Diagnosis: left sided disc herniation at C4/5, most likely impinging the C5 nerve route.

I just have the diagnosis from a nurse and haven’t spoken to my doctor, but I do know there is no quick fix. Its disappointing, quite literally ‘disc’ was the one word I was hoping not to hear.

I’ve made a decision that I won’t post about this issue any more, unless it’s good news. So, no more sharing about the pain I’m in, but maybe that means that I might miss posting on the occasional day. Quite simply, I don’t have a lot to share when my brain is taxed with a constant ache or pain.

I’m giving myself permission not to post daily until my physical condition changes. So that’s why there wasn’t a post yesterday, a day I took off of work after getting very little sleep Sunday night. I struggle to write when I’m in pain, it takes me much longer to write and edit. So for the next couple months at least, my Daily Ink might not be daily. I hope to be myself and posting religiously every day again soon.

Routine interrupted

Everything is out of whack for me. My whole routine is interrupted. I’ve got a bandaged knee with a lot of new skin that won’t allow me to comfortably go on the treadmill or stationary bike. I’ve got a pinched nerve that seizes up my neck and sends pain down my shoulder, and I’m concerned about doing exercises that tighten up these areas. And the nerve pain has affected the strength in my left arm and so even something like curls for biceps or any exercises for triceps are hindered even when I’m not doing shoulder exercises.

I can stretch, but I really can’t workout. I just weighed myself yesterday and I’ve lost 7 pounds in the last 7 weeks since hurting my shoulder. I have a track record of losing muscle pretty fast when I don’t work out consistently. I know that’s only a pound a week but it’s a 4% loss in weight and it’s the kind of weight I want to keep… not the little extra weight around my waist.

My Physio says I can exercise but my arm aches when I try. My knee is preventing any meaningful cardio, I can’t even walk down stairs other than doing one step at a time, bad foot first, then good foot onto the same step, while holding the rail. I know this is temporary but it’s very frustrating. It’s very painful too. I look forward to not depending on painkillers to get through the day. I look forward to getting my routine back!

Back inside

While visiting Barcelona I said, “It’s fascinating to see how the city is designed for pedestrians.” I loved that streets were converted to one-way so that there could be more sidewalks, and every nook and open space between buildings would be transformed into courtyards and places to sit and be outside.

Now, after returning home I realize that I’m always indoors. Yes, I enjoy walks with a friend and with my wife, and the trails we walk on are beautiful, and I’m surrounded by trees. Living here gives us amazing access to the natural beauty of the west coast rainforest.

But other than a few walks, the last 5 weeks at home have been almost entirely inside. My outdoor time is spent going from my house to my car, and from my car to work or whatever other destination I was heading to. Other than that, I’m in a building or in my car. I have made one walking trip to our neighbourhood donut shop, in the same way I’d walk to a pastry shop in Spain, and beyond that my travels have all been by car. Even my beautiful walks I go on are destinations I drive to.

I miss the liveability of Barcelona and Madrid. The buzz of people all around. The convenience of small neighbourhood stores, pastry shops, and restaurants. I am fully aware that I was on vacation and that’s different than being here at work full time, and if I had the same job in Spain, I’d spend most of my time indoors. But there is something about living in a city made for walking that I’m drawn to. I want to be able to park my car and leave it behind when I go to pick up groceries. I want to walk to restaurants. I want to walk 10,000+ steps in a day as part of my routine and not just on designated walks 1-2 times a week.

I know it’s more challenging because I live in the suburbs. Yet some of this I can do, if I allow myself the time. Our grocery store is walking distance, as long as I’m not buying too much to carry. I can walk to work if I allot myself 40 minutes each way, and if I don’t have out of school meetings. I could sacrifice the convenience of my car, and walk a bit more, but it will take an effort and time that I’m not sure I’d be willing to give up. It’s much harder to do this in a city designed around roads rather than sidewalks… but I will make more of an effort.

Every single day

Some days it’s really hard to start writing. Today I stared at a blank page long enough that I realized I’d get nowhere stating longer, and so I did my meditation first. Then I thought, ‘I’m the only one that cares about my streak of writing every day, so what if I skip a day?’ And that was the right question to ask myself.

“So what if I skip a day?”

Well, it’s not just about breaking this streak, it’s the permission I give myself to be a streak breaker. It’s the identity that I’ve created that gets broken, not just the pattern. I’m a daily writer, I commit to writing, to putting something creative out into the world. Some days it won’t be great. Some days it will feel like a chore. Some days I’ll stare at a blank page for too long. But every day I’ll write.

“So what if I skip a day?”

If I do it intentionally, I’m opening a door to not being a daily writer. I’m giving myself permission to make exceptions every time it feels tough. Some days you just have to show up. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to the gym, dragging yourself to work on a day when you just want to stay under the covers, heading to a practice you don’t want to go to, or writing every day.

The blank page can be daunting, but it’s not scary, it’s just hard to look at. It’s not a beast, it’s a gremlin. And it’s not blank if you get one sentence down with a commitment not to erase that sentence until you are ready to replace it.

Daily writing is an identity based habit not a calendar based habit. I am a writer, and I can only say that if I’m writing. I live an active lifestyle, and I can only say that if I’m consistently staying active. It’s not about the act as much as it is about the identity. This is who I am. I show up, I get it done, and I know that I’ll do the same tomorrow. Skip a day? That’s a choice somebody else gets to make, not me.

Consistently showing up

It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Atomic Habits by James Clear. I’ve listened to it twice and have white-boarded some ideas I hope to share with students as soon as things settle down a bit.

So when I saw that James was a recent guest on the Tim Ferriss podcast, I had to start listening.

Yesterday morning after waking up a bit later than usual, and taking a little longer than usual to write, I wasn’t sure if I had time for my workout. But rather than skip it, I decided to do a 10 minute row instead of 20 minute stationary bike, and then do 3 quick sets of tricep pull downs with elastic bands rather than weights… Less than the usual plan, but a workout nonetheless!

As I was rowing, I was listening to the podcast and came across this gem of a quote:

Here it is in-text quote:

The first thing is I give myself permission to reduce the scope but stick to the schedule. So if my typical workout takes 45 minutes, but I only have 15 that day, it’s easy to get into the story where you’re like, ‘Ah, I don’t have time to do it all, like why bother?’ But instead, I try to remind myself to reduce the scope and stick to the schedule, and there’s been a lot of days where all I have time for is to go in and do a couple sets of squats, but I’m glad that I did that rather than doing nothing, and it counts for a lot to, like, not throw a zero up for another day. In a sense, in the long run I almost feel like the bad days matter more than a good days, because if you showing up on the bad days, even if it’s less than what you had hoped for you maintain the habit. And if you maintain that habit, then all you need a time, so it counts for a lot. You also prove to yourself, you know, you can look yourself in the mirror at the end the night, and be like, ‘You know what, circumstances weren’t ideal, situation wasn’t perfect, but I still found a way to show up and, you know, like get some reps in today.’

It was so timely for me to hear this. I was on the row machine on a morning where I had reduced the scope but stuck to the schedule. I couldn’t do what was ideal, but I didn’t skip the workout. I showed up. And hearing this I went from feeling kind of guilty that I was cutting my routine short to realizing that I stuck with it. I did it anyway. I didn’t have a zero workout day. Because in the end consistency really matters, and a lighter, faster workout is still a workout.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to get on my exercise bike and put a bit more time into my workout today.

Pattern interrupted

Spending a week isolated at home has completely messed up my schedule. Waking up with a headache to start the day sucks. It makes it hard to be and feel productive. This afternoon seems to be the positive turn I was looking for, but I’m not sure how fast I’ll be able to jump back into my regular routine. Writing, meditation, and workouts have usually been done before I’ve even been waking up this past week.

The one good thing to come of this is that I actually miss my routine. It’s not a big effort to do it. It’s something I want to do. And I’m looking forward to getting back to work on Monday too. I guess a pattern interruption every once in a while is good so that you can do a gut check and make sure that what you regularly do is something you actually want to do.

80 Crunches

In January of 2021 my buddy Dave Sands and I decided to do the Coquitlam Crunch, an uphill trek along the power lines on the north side of our city. It includes a segment with 450+ steps, and at the top we take a small circular detour that makes the walk feel more like a round trip than just up then down again. We started doing this at the height of the pandemic when we really weren’t socializing at all, and this was a great place to meet that was outdoors, or we would not have gotten together.

We enjoyed it so much that we made it a weekly event. Early on it was every Friday, rain, shine, and even snow. Later, we switched to Saturday mornings, and we treat ourselves to breakfast at Starbucks afterwards. Today we did our 80th walk together since we started.

That’s 400 kilometres we’ve travelled. But it’s not about the distance, it’s the time together that really matters. We naturally and unintentionally created a routine of ‘talking shop’ (talking about work) at the start of the walk, and usually ending that part of the conversation by the time we reach the top of the stairs, barely half way up. Then the rest of the walk is filled with conversations about life, the universe, everything, and anything.

When we started, this was like therapy. We had been bottled up with pandemic restrictions and just having someone outside our tiny family bubble to talk to was such a boost to our mental health. While it still serves that purpose, it’s also so much more. I’m looking forward to keeping this tradition going, and hitting milestones like 100 Crunches and 1,000 kilometres… and beyond.

What’s a tradition that you have with family or friends that you plan to keep for a very long time?

Going through the motions

My workouts have been minimalist recently. I’m going through the motions but not pushing myself. And I’ve come to realize that this is ok. 5 years ago, I would have just stopped my routine. I’d have made excuses that I was too busy. And, I probably would have stopped for over a month.

Instead, I’ve kept the routine up, and am committing to still getting up early, writing, then working out. In the last week I’ve taken a couple days off exercise, but I am still good with 5 days a week… after I started this regimen in January of 2019 in my first year I averaged only 4 days a week, and now it’s unusual for me not to do 6. I have slowly improved my habit such that only working out 5 days a week is less than normal, while I was actually proud of averaging 4 days a week when I started.

My point is that I need to give myself some slack. I’m not quitting, I’m not breaking my pattern, I’m just coasting a bit while still putting in the time, even if I’m not giving 100%. I can’t give 100% for 100% of the time, and right now I’m just not up to ‘giving it my all’.

Will I meditate? Yes. Will I do a short stretch? Yes. Will I get my heart rate up for a 20 minute cardio? Yes. Will I do at least one strength exercise? Yes.

Done. Mission accomplished. Pat on the back and move on. There will be time to give it my all when I’m ready, but for now going through the motions isn’t just good enough, it’s exactly what I need to do in order to maintain the healthy lifestyle I want to keep, even when I don’t feel up to it.

Daily coffee routine

Almost 40 years ago, when I got hired as an assistant manager at Starbucks, I spent the first few weeks taste testing coffees and espresso drinks on every break. I’d end up having 5-7 coffees in a shift. Then I’d go home on weekends and by noon on Saturday I’d have a pounding headache… basically my body would be craving caffeine. It took me a while to realize what the problem was. I started taking regular breaks from coffee, and I’d sometimes go a week with no coffee. Then I’d keep to two or less cups when I did drink it.

Now I basically drink one cup a day. Occasionally I have two, but it’s quite seldom, and if I forget a day it’s not usually a big deal. Well yesterday I slept in and didn’t have coffee right away, and sure enough a headache started. It has been a long time since I’ve felt it, but I knew it was a withdrawal headache. It’s amazing how the lack of regular caffeine can have so much power over me.

This makes me think about the many small ‘addictions’ we have. The craving for sugar, for salt, for adrenaline, for exercise, for love, for belonging. When we get these things regularly, we take them for granted, but when we are missing then… in some way we develop a headache.

Our routines, both healthy and unhealthy, help us meet the needs we create.

Not the right headspace

I’ve started three posts before settling on this topic. One has been tucked into my drafts, the other two I just deleted. The one in my drafts is related to an issue I’m dealing with and I realize it’s too sensitive to mention right now… I’m still sorting out a sensitive challenge and a public blog is not where I should be hashing our my thoughts on the topic. The other two ideas are both things I’ve addressed in the past, and I’m not sure I’d add any value bringing them up again.

It bugs me when the main creative thought going through my head is one that I don’t feel comfortable writing about. It’s hard to turn off those thoughts and come up with some other line of thinking to share. When my thoughts are so focused on the things I can’t write about, I get stuck. I’m writing this 49 minutes later than planned and I’m going to miss my morning workout.

This doesn’t happen often, and so when it does it bothers me. I think it’s part of getting back to work and having a more disciplined routine than I had to have in the summer. In the summer, if I was stuck, if I wasn’t in the right headspace, I’d delay my write. But now I’m back to a more focused time crunch, and being overly thoughtful about a topic I can’t write about is enough to put me in a rut.

It’s pretty darn hard to write something every single day. To hit that publish button on days when you don’t feel like it. To write something less thoughtful or expressive than hoped and still decide to share it. But that’s part of the art. Nobody writes their best every day. Nobody finds the right headspace day in and day out.

Sometimes the art of showing up is how you ensure you are practicing your art. Today I was in the wrong headspace, and yet here I am finishing my post. I believe tomorrow, and in the future, I will be a better writer because I chose to write anyway… To write despite my headspace, rather than skipping a day because the muse wasn’t there.

“Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.” – Madeleine L’Engle