How long will it take… to do it well?
What resources do you need… to do it well?
Who can help you… to do it well?
What can you put off… so that you do it well?
Some jobs just need to get done, others should only be done if they are done well. The work is rewarded with a job well done. So give it the time, put in the resources, get the support you need, and put forward an honest, concerted effort… to do it well.
I should have written this an hour ago. I was up, but I kept myself distracted. I should have worked out already, but I haven’t started. I’m probably going to do my meditation on my exercise bike to reclaim some time.
It doesn’t really matter today, because I can stroll into work at 8:30am and still spend a full day there. Only my secretaries will be in the building and my first meeting is at 11am. So it’s not like this wasted time hurt my schedule. But it hurts.
It hurts because it’s going to take a while before my routine is automated again. It hurts because it’s me pushing off things that are good for me. If this was next week, I’d have to skip my workout right now.
However the nice thing is that it’s not next week. It’s not like I have to scramble or miss anything. I’m just acknowledging that routines take time to develop and redevelop. It’s not easy leaving my routines for a full summer then jumping right back into them. But once I get my routine going again it feeds itself.
I feel the benefits of getting a whole list of things done for myself before I even start my workday. Writing, meditating, stretching, and working out, all done before I even shower to start my day. The only hard part is now, it’s when the pattern isn’t set and I actually have to make an effort to do it. By early next week it will just be what I do when I wake up: Routine initiated.
Today it was a slog.
After 6 weeks holidays, I’m back to work today. While work creeped into these holidays a fair bit, it was the most ‘off’ I’ve been in years… and quite frankly I needed it. I spent over a month of this break away from home, and it’s nice to be back in my own bed.
I feel refreshed and ready for the new school year. The long hours don’t start until September, and so I can get acclimatized over the next couple weeks. This starts today with my writing, meditation, exercise, and stretching first thing in the morning.
I’m someone who both dislikes and requires good routines. I dislike them because they make the days seem a bit robotic, like I’m just going through the motions. I require (and even like) them because I can get a lot done and feel accomplished.
This holiday started really strong with maintaining my routines but my Toronto trip home was quite disruptive. I was stuck on Vancouver time, staying up until well after midnight in Toronto, but still waking up early. I moved a lot of boxes, but didn’t do any cardio, and I don’t think I meditated more than once in 11 days. I accomplished a lot helping my mom, but really broke my routine and ate too much.
But then again, I was on holidays, and had a wonderful time. I got to spend a lot of time with my wife, and a bit of time with my kids too. I think as school starts, I need to build time in with them as part of my routine as well. It’s easy to put in long hours and not make time for family… not on purpose, just by nature of the job.
Routines can help to regulate things that can normally be neglected. My morning routine lets me feel like I’ve accomplished something for myself before I start my job in the service of others. I think the next step is to routinize some quality time with family, or before I know it the school year is over and work was the only priority after my morning routine.
I just woke up from a 2+ hour nap. I didn’t sleep well last night, but now I’m in jeopardy of a repeat, because I won’t be able to fall asleep until after midnight. I remember reading that an ideal nap time is about 20 minutes. This gives you the rest you need, without over-doing it. I really over-did it!
I wish they I lived in a country that had siesta times. I love late nights, I love early mornings. If I were to design my own schedule, I’d go to bed after midnight, sleep until 5:30, and have a 1-2 hour nap starting at 2pm. Unfortunately, that schedule would be awful for my wife, so I don’t think I’ll adopt it even after retiring.
Maybe with this lengthy nap, I’ll give that schedule a test run for tonight, and be back on a ‘normal’ schedule tomorrow. 7 hours is about my ideal length of sleep each night, 9 hours leads to a headache. I wonder if my idea of an ideal schedule is only that… an idea, and really I should just stick to 7 hours a night and maybe 20 minute naps on weekends.
2 hours is just a bit unrealistic, and probably going to mess me up. What’s your ideal nap time?
I’m tired. My routines are a mess. I’m playing constant catch-up rather than being on top of things. That’s June in a nutshell. So much to do, so little time.
The good news is that we have grad tomorrow. And while it’s going to be a 12+ hour work day, it’s also going to end on a really positive note. So, as I lay in bed writing something I usually write 16 hours earlier, (if I was on a regular routine), I am thinking about how I can revitalize my routines and and make June a little less crazy.
Routines and positive habits are self-fulfilling. They add energy to the system rather than drain them. And on that note, I need to get off my screen and get enough sleep for a big day. If you see another post in about 8 hours, that’s a good sign that I good to bed and am back on track. Two things that help with June fatigue are my regular routines, and at least 7 hours of sleep. June is now 66.6% done… only 1/3 more to go!
Yes, I went back home to my parents house after my father’s death, and spent no time alone except sleep and going to the bathroom.
Yes, I’m dealing with a herniated disc and choosing between feeling loopy on drugs or in pain.
Yes, I also fell and it took weeks for my knee to heal because the wound would re-open every time I bent my knee.
Yes, I’ve missed a few days posting here in the last few weeks. I’ve also had the least amount of exercise since I started tracking in January 2019. I’ve also missed more meditations than I have in that same time.
Yes, I’ve missed more work in the past month than I’ve missed in any 10 years of working combined.
Yes, I’m further behind in email than I ever have been… (I’m smart enough not to try to be on email when loopy or in pain).
Yes, I’m really hard on myself when I can’t do the things I think I should be doing.
But I also know how important these routines are for my mental health. It’s 10:45am and I’m finally out of bed and the loopy feeling of the drugs have worn off enough that while I’m not in pain, I feel that I can sit here and write this. I also feel like it’s not safe to walk on a treadmill, like I did for the first time in weeks last night before taking my meds for bed. Sitting in bed this morning I realized that I can lie on the floor and do some stretching. I can definitely meditate. I can listen to my body and go for walks outside, rather than navigating a treadmill.
I can’t rebuild the routines I had before all this just yet, but I can build new routines that keep me thinking positively rather than lying on my back with a pillow below my knees for most of the day. Well, actually that might still be a big part of my coming week, but at least I can (re)build i some routines that make me feel better both physically and mentally.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… I have tremendous sympathy for anyone who lives with chronic pain. It inspires me to see people who deal with daily or constant pain and still live out their daily lives. For now, I just need to build in some routines that make me feel more human.
I need to un-break my break in routines… not trying to do what I did before… not trying to do too much and setting myself back. Just trying to build a new routine that lets me feel good. On that note, my neck and shoulder have told me that this is enough sitting and typing for a few hours, if not the rest of the day. I’m going to go lay on the floor, listen to some music, stretch and meditate. The best time to start a new habit is right now!
Any regular reader of my daily blog knows I’ve been dealing with neck, back, and shoulder pain. I was scheduled for a CT scan and fortunately a cancellation allowed me to jump the queue and I’ve already had it. Diagnosis: left sided disc herniation at C4/5, most likely impinging the C5 nerve route.
I just have the diagnosis from a nurse and haven’t spoken to my doctor, but I do know there is no quick fix. Its disappointing, quite literally ‘disc’ was the one word I was hoping not to hear.
I’ve made a decision that I won’t post about this issue any more, unless it’s good news. So, no more sharing about the pain I’m in, but maybe that means that I might miss posting on the occasional day. Quite simply, I don’t have a lot to share when my brain is taxed with a constant ache or pain.
I’m giving myself permission not to post daily until my physical condition changes. So that’s why there wasn’t a post yesterday, a day I took off of work after getting very little sleep Sunday night. I struggle to write when I’m in pain, it takes me much longer to write and edit. So for the next couple months at least, my Daily Ink might not be daily. I hope to be myself and posting religiously every day again soon.
Everything is out of whack for me. My whole routine is interrupted. I’ve got a bandaged knee with a lot of new skin that won’t allow me to comfortably go on the treadmill or stationary bike. I’ve got a pinched nerve that seizes up my neck and sends pain down my shoulder, and I’m concerned about doing exercises that tighten up these areas. And the nerve pain has affected the strength in my left arm and so even something like curls for biceps or any exercises for triceps are hindered even when I’m not doing shoulder exercises.
I can stretch, but I really can’t workout. I just weighed myself yesterday and I’ve lost 7 pounds in the last 7 weeks since hurting my shoulder. I have a track record of losing muscle pretty fast when I don’t work out consistently. I know that’s only a pound a week but it’s a 4% loss in weight and it’s the kind of weight I want to keep… not the little extra weight around my waist.
My Physio says I can exercise but my arm aches when I try. My knee is preventing any meaningful cardio, I can’t even walk down stairs other than doing one step at a time, bad foot first, then good foot onto the same step, while holding the rail. I know this is temporary but it’s very frustrating. It’s very painful too. I look forward to not depending on painkillers to get through the day. I look forward to getting my routine back!
While visiting Barcelona I said, “It’s fascinating to see how the city is designed for pedestrians.” I loved that streets were converted to one-way so that there could be more sidewalks, and every nook and open space between buildings would be transformed into courtyards and places to sit and be outside.
Now, after returning home I realize that I’m always indoors. Yes, I enjoy walks with a friend and with my wife, and the trails we walk on are beautiful, and I’m surrounded by trees. Living here gives us amazing access to the natural beauty of the west coast rainforest.
But other than a few walks, the last 5 weeks at home have been almost entirely inside. My outdoor time is spent going from my house to my car, and from my car to work or whatever other destination I was heading to. Other than that, I’m in a building or in my car. I have made one walking trip to our neighbourhood donut shop, in the same way I’d walk to a pastry shop in Spain, and beyond that my travels have all been by car. Even my beautiful walks I go on are destinations I drive to.
I miss the liveability of Barcelona and Madrid. The buzz of people all around. The convenience of small neighbourhood stores, pastry shops, and restaurants. I am fully aware that I was on vacation and that’s different than being here at work full time, and if I had the same job in Spain, I’d spend most of my time indoors. But there is something about living in a city made for walking that I’m drawn to. I want to be able to park my car and leave it behind when I go to pick up groceries. I want to walk to restaurants. I want to walk 10,000+ steps in a day as part of my routine and not just on designated walks 1-2 times a week.
I know it’s more challenging because I live in the suburbs. Yet some of this I can do, if I allow myself the time. Our grocery store is walking distance, as long as I’m not buying too much to carry. I can walk to work if I allot myself 40 minutes each way, and if I don’t have out of school meetings. I could sacrifice the convenience of my car, and walk a bit more, but it will take an effort and time that I’m not sure I’d be willing to give up. It’s much harder to do this in a city designed around roads rather than sidewalks… but I will make more of an effort.
Some days it’s really hard to start writing. Today I stared at a blank page long enough that I realized I’d get nowhere stating longer, and so I did my meditation first. Then I thought, ‘I’m the only one that cares about my streak of writing every day, so what if I skip a day?’ And that was the right question to ask myself.
“So what if I skip a day?”
Well, it’s not just about breaking this streak, it’s the permission I give myself to be a streak breaker. It’s the identity that I’ve created that gets broken, not just the pattern. I’m a daily writer, I commit to writing, to putting something creative out into the world. Some days it won’t be great. Some days it will feel like a chore. Some days I’ll stare at a blank page for too long. But every day I’ll write.
“So what if I skip a day?”
If I do it intentionally, I’m opening a door to not being a daily writer. I’m giving myself permission to make exceptions every time it feels tough. Some days you just have to show up. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to the gym, dragging yourself to work on a day when you just want to stay under the covers, heading to a practice you don’t want to go to, or writing every day.
The blank page can be daunting, but it’s not scary, it’s just hard to look at. It’s not a beast, it’s a gremlin. And it’s not blank if you get one sentence down with a commitment not to erase that sentence until you are ready to replace it.
Daily writing is an identity based habit not a calendar based habit. I am a writer, and I can only say that if I’m writing. I live an active lifestyle, and I can only say that if I’m consistently staying active. It’s not about the act as much as it is about the identity. This is who I am. I show up, I get it done, and I know that I’ll do the same tomorrow. Skip a day? That’s a choice somebody else gets to make, not me.
