Writing is my artistic expression. My keyboard is my brush. Words are my medium. My blog is my canvas. And committing to writing daily makes me feel like an artist.
If you ask most people what causes waves they will tell you the gravitational pull of the moon. While that is the reason for the tides, the most common cause of waves is… wind. On my hike yesterday it was quite windy and I got to see the wind ‘playing’ on the surface of the water.
I also remember seeing dust devils, mini tornados, on my many adventures through the southern states with my dad. And I once saw a water spout off the coast of Jeju Island in Korea.
It’s fascinating to see the power of the wind. Harnessed, it can generate power. It can also be devastatingly destructive.
But looking at the way wind travels along the surface of water, creating waves, is mesmerizing. I love to watch it dance and control the water, with the wind taking the lead and the water following along at the leader’s whim. But to say the water is ‘following’ the wind is a misnomer.
Like fans doing the wave in a stadium, the water itself does not travel with the wind, but rather as a disturbance traveling through the water. A beautiful disturbance. A dance of wind and waves. In a way, tides and waves are the dance of the sun and moon. The moon influences the tides and the sun unevenly heats the earth creating wind. So the dance of wind on water is a dance of sun and moon, of heat and gravity, of power and beauty.
Four years. Not 3 or 6 months, not even 1 year, four. I started my fitness journey with a calendar on January 1, 2019. This was my reflection after a year. The path has been a tiny bit bumpy, but overall extremely consistent and without any significant injury as a result of my fitness regimen.
So often people (including me in the past) go on fitness binges and/or eating diets. It’s a race to see results. And while results can come from these brief attempts to improve, unrealistic fitness plans and unsustainable diets eventually lead to a point where they can’t be sustained.
I’m not trying to run ultra marathons or have a bodybuilder physique. I’m actually going to let myself let loose and eat a bit more gluttonous while on vacation. But I’m also going to find time to exercise, I’m going to return home and be more thoughtful about my diet after my vacation. I’m going to keep playing the long game and not worry about minor fluctuations in my schedule. Because while there will be fluctuations, I’m going to keep a schedule of writing, meditation, and exercise. I’m not looking for quick gains, I’m just working on staying on a healthy path, knowing positive results are still to come… in time. Perseverance and the long game are the path I’m on.
I’ve had some physical challenges this year, and still have a long path of recovery, but on reflection I really haven’t been playing the long game I spoke about in December. This year I decided I didn’t need my tracking calendar any longer.
I tracked 4 goals with this calendar for 4 years, 2019-2022, and saw small improvements every year. This year I stopped. I believed the patterns were built. I thought I would maintain my commitments without needing a tracker.
I was wrong.
So I will start again this weekend. I’ll pick up a calendar and track the last 6 months of the year. My 4 positive habits this year will be 3 oldies:
1. Workouts: 20 min. cardio, stretching, and strength training for at least one muscle group.
2. Meditation: 10 min. minimum, and a second sticker if I exceed 20 minutes.
3. Daily writing here on Daily-Ink.
And I’m going to add something new this year.
4. At least 20 min. of writing that isn’t for my blog.
For this last goal, I’m going to shoot for 26 days, or one day a week for the rest of the year… An admittedly low bar, but still 26 more times that I will have written beyond blogging without this goal! I know that while I watch almost no TV and no sports, I still waste time watching a screen (my phone), and I think like the other goals, tracking will inspire me to build and maintain the habit. I want to write more, I haven’t been writing… let’s see if I can develop the habit.
I realize that in playing the long game, gains are slow. I don’t see quick results and I’m not rewarded explicitly for good behaviour and good habits. I need my calendar to keep me honest. I need it to motivate me when I just don’t feel like working out, and to prevent me from skipping days and building bad habits.
I know the calendar motivates me. I know it shows me when I need to metaphorically ‘pull up my socks’ and avoid ‘no dot’, and ‘one dot days‘. And so starting today my calendar shall be resurrected. It’s time to resume effectively playing the long game.
The end of the year can feel like a constant pace of go-go-go! From wake up to head on pillow that night there is too much to do and too little time. Then things (finally) wind down and you see all that you’d like to do but you’ve been too busy doing what you needed to do. Time suddenly slows, and tasks are more easily accomplishable.
This becomes a time when I need others to collaborate with. Time to have learning conversations and time to co-plan. I notice that working with others motivates me and keeps my productivity pace up.
It’s easy to take a deep sigh of relief as things slow down, and to slow down myself. But the year hasn’t ended and there is still a lot to get done, a lot to accomplish, and an opportunity to better prepare for the new year. Just because the pace has slowed doesn’t mean productivity should too.
Staying motivated as the pace slows isn’t easy. It’s easier to coast through to the ending. My motivation is to do whatever I can to make next year better. Because as crazy as the year-ending June pace can be, the year-starting September pace can be equally frenetic. And so the work I do now will help my productivity in the new school year.
It has been a long ride this year, but I’ve got to stay in the saddle and keep riding at a good pace. I’ve got the whole summer to trot and canter, right now I need too keep the gallop going. Giddy up!
Today I opened a file in the online version of Microsoft Word and this ‘Editor’ showed up on the right column of the screen:
Of the 4 suggestions, the first one was an acronym that I did not need to explain or change. The second one, conciseness, was a good suggestion. The formality was the use of don’t rather than do not, which I decided to leave in, and the vocabulary suggestion was also something I decided to leave as-is, although the mentioning of it was valid. Had this been a more formal document, I would have made the suggested change.
I find it fascinating that we can now have Artificial Intelligence edit our work as we type. We’ve had it all along with spell and grammar check putting red and blue lines in the text, but this adds a whole new element and nuance to what was previously done. It’s also interesting that ‘Inclusiveness’, and ‘Sensitive Geopolitical References’ were a couple of the refinement options.
I’ve already used Chat GPT to edit an email for me, simply rephrasing what I’d already written, but I haven’t asked it to respond to any emails for me… yet. I’m not sure I’m comfortable doing that right now. But I do like these features that make my writing look better. At some point I know I’ll be putting these blog posts into an AI editor, but for now, I like the process of writing and publishing in a limited time and being both creative and quick. If I start a long editing and proof-reading process for my daily blog, I doubt that I would maintain the daily nature of it. So, I’ll hack away, and you’ll find the occasional errors, and more than occasional run-on sentences. Because while I like these grammar and editing tools, I also like the free-flow of writing and I’m not publishing a book that can’t be edited later when an error is pointed out. For now, I’d rather spend my time thinking and writing, and leave the editing for more formal work. Still, it’s nice to see these tools get better, and I’m sure I’m make more use of them in time.
Basically, right now I’m thinking of these grammar police tools as a traffic stops, and soon I’ll see them as friendly traffic cops helping me get on my way more smoothly.
I remember teaching Grade 6/7’s about Nigerian fables. One of them was about a greedy animal during hard times. All the animals had collected food and stored it in a clearing to share, but each night some of the food went missing. To catch the culprit they put tar around the food and the thief got caught in it. The next day after an apology the other animals started trying to pull the animal out. He was extremely stuck and they yanked so hard that they stretched this animal and ripped of its legs.
The fable is about not being greedy, but the title is something like, “How snakes came to be.” I love when the moral is not explicit in the storytelling.
I got thinking about this for a totally different reason, one I’m far more explicit about in my title… the idea of getting unstuck. Sometimes we absolutely have to step out of our current experience in order to see what’s possible beyond where we currently are.
The saying, ‘No matter where you go, there you are,’ has come up a few times recently in conversation. This is only true if you let it happen, if you stay inside of the tiny box you put around yourself. There are people who travel all around the world and they look forward to seeing a Macdonald’s, Burger King, or Starbucks. They look to keep their world the same. But travel can give you so much more than that. There are people who keep friends that aren’t nice to them, who dismiss an entire genre of music, who stick to a plan and never take side adventures. None of these people might see themselves as stuck but they are.
For me personally, I’ve been stuck in pain and/or drowsiness for a couple months and while I’m slowly recovering, I am also stuck in the way my days go. I’m not following any healthy routines to consistently workout or meditate. I can still ride a stationary bicycle without causing any harm to the bulged disc in my neck. Meditation would actually be great right now and I’ve let my daily habit slip.
I’m going through slow (admittedly often dizzy) motions of the day waiting for moments of clarity, but when they come I don’t necessarily take advantage of them. I need to see beyond my current condition. I need to see what I what to accomplish in the future and I need to do things now to support that. I need first to have goals that I want to achieve beyond where I am now, then I need to move towards those goals.
Sometimes it only takes baby steps, sometimes it takes a massive leap. But you don’t get unstuck thinking ‘No matter where you go, there you are’. The issue with this is not about geography, it’s about moving who you are to who you want to be.
My dad passed away last week. Today we did the paperwork at the crematorium, and we’ll do a family gathering in the fall. He had a stroke while I was visiting over the March break and he never left the hospital after that.
While at the hospital, my youngest sister was staying with dad late one night and she was feeling hungry. She said to him, “I’m heading down to Tim Hortons, do you want anything?”
My dad responded, “No thanks, are you going to get some nuggets of happiness?”
Puzzled, my sister asked, “Do you mean Timbits?
Dad smiled and nodded ‘Yes’.
Nuggets of happiness. This is a great metaphor for coping with my father’s death. There are a lot of emotions, and a lot to deal with. There is great sadness. But then there are also those moments of fond, joyful, and humorous times that I’ll enjoy remembering. Little nuggets to love. Little nuggets that remind me he is still with me as long as I choose to remember.
I don’t think I’ll ever eat a Timbit again without remembering my dad.
And while there are many other emotions right now, I know the memories I cherish, the memories I will share with my mother, my siblings, my wife, my kids, and even grandkids in the future, will bring me joy and happiness.
I made a mistake last night. I was on Twitter and clicked on a video of a guy knocking down a surveillance camera on a street light in Australia. I then scrolled to the next video and went down a right wing rabbit hole. The first video was a voiceover of Tucker Carlson recently ‘dismissed’ from Fox News, and it was essentially trying to make humourous jokes about a transgender host taking over. Next was a Republican semi-automatic gun wearing black man praising the NRA and claiming the democrats are ‘coming for our guns’. Then came a Sean Hannity clip that I didn’t watch. Then came my first Canadian content with a clip bashing Justin Trudeau. And finally I called it quits after watching a geologist bashing climate change… in case you didn’t know, carbon dioxide is ‘plant food, not a pollutant’.
Don’t ignore opposing views, measure them. Don’t jump on the bandwagon, figure out if you want to travel the exact same route. Don’t criticize, question. Don’t SHOUT, disengage until cooler heads prevail.
Don’t pretend the algorithms aren’t already influencing you, be savvy and question why posts and videos are algorithmically chosen for you. You are either trying to be digitally literate or you are probably being manipulated and steered towards an extreme view.
My back/shoulder pain is still continuing after almost 6 weeks, and I have just started new meds that make me feel loopy. Trying to describe the pain, I thought of a play on words for the phrase ‘peace of mind’ and switching it to ‘piece of mind’.
There is no peace of mind when pain has a piece of your mind. Pain sits with you like an unwanted, unliked friend who is constantly nagging you. Sometimes the pain is in the background and while it’s only vaguely present, you can’t find peace. When it’s worse than that it sits in competition with anything else that’s happening.
I have some clarity now, but writing yesterday’s post would normally take me 20-30 minutes and it took me over an hour to write. I wasn’t doing anything else, I wasn’t distracted with other tasks, but I was feeling a lot of shoulder pain. Constant unrelenting pain. And a 30 minute task took me more than double the expected time. There is no peace of mind when pain has a piece of your mind.
I know this will pass, but it truly gives me a new respect for anyone who deals with daily pain. It’s not fun, it’s not productive, and it’s not easy to act in any normal way when pain has a piece of your mind.
It’s hard to grasp the idea that when we look at a star, we are looking at that star from an era long ago. Even when we look at our own sun, we only see it as it was 8 minutes ago, because that’s how long the light takes to get to us. The closest star to us is Proxima Centauri at 4.25 light years away. When we see the light from this star we are seeing it as it shone 4.25 years ago.
When we look at the night sky, we are looking at a history of the universe, with each distant star sharing a different part of its past with us.
We look at people who are close to us in the same way. We don’t just see them, we see our past with them. We see the last time we met. Did we get along or did we have a conflict? Did we create a fond memory or did we face a problem? Did we grow closer together or does the distance from our last meeting make us feel farther apart?
In a way, relationships can be like distant stars, fading into the past unless we make an effort to see people in a new light. Because our connection to people comes from the way we look at our previous interactions, our history together. This is all we have until we shed new light on one another. Glimpses of history that tell stories… be they stories of our universe or stories of friendship. In both cases we are looking at our past to make sense of our future.
