Tag Archives: mental health

The Resilience of Students

We had our final PAC meeting of the year last night for Inquiry Hub. At the end of the Principal’s Report I did a quick ‘Thank You’ to parents, students, and teachers. One thing I mentioned when I talked about the students was resilience. I am so impressed with how resilient students were this year.

We’ve had students deal with family hardships that no kid should have to deal with. We’ve had students who have had their own struggles that they need to face. We’ve had students who have struggled previously that have stepped up and found ways to be more successful. These students are especially resilient, and may not even realize it.

We’ve also had many students who have come to school every day and just made the most out of this year. In many respects it has been a challenging year, one where things did nothing go as expected. But students have come together and created community. They have supported each other. They have found ways to thrive.

And they’ve learned so much! I’m absolutely impressed with some of the inquiry projects that were done this year. And when I’ve watched student presentations, I’ve seen slides that are so well put together that you would think they were going to a design school. They aren’t just putting information on a page, they are conveying a coherent story. While this is usually something we consistently see with seniors, this is now something that we are seeing at every grade.

And students are committed to helping each other. They have come together and showed how much they care for one another, and supported each other. The examples I can think of are plentiful, but also a little too specific to share here without asking permission. The point being that during a global pandemic, when I’d expect to see more individual concerns for student well being, I’ve instead seen resilient kids coming together to help each other.

We don’t always give kids the credit they deserve. They are amazingly resilient and at a time when many people are dealing with hardships greater than they normally have to face, our students, our kids, have been dealt a challenging school year and have made it through this year surprisingly well.

I can’t wait to see what these kids do when we are able to provide them a full school experience next year… it’s something I really look forward to. I’m already excited about what September will bring.

Aches and pains

I do a lot to take care of myself and for the most part, I feel good about my progress. But today I feel old.

I usually take in the attitude that age is just a number. I’m as young as I believe that I am. Today my age wins.

Saturday on my 5km walk with my wife, she decided to jog for some of it. I enjoy jogging at my wife’s pace and thought nothing of it. I will run on my treadmill faster than this, and for longer than the two sections we jogged for. Sunday after my archery I did an 8 minute leg workout that I usually do, and added about 4 reps of an assisted pistol squat, because I’m very slowly trying to get myself to the point that I can do these.

But by Sunday night my knee was hurting. I don’t know why, but think it might be running on uneven terrain rather than on the treadmill, or trying the pistol squat after my 8 minute workout, when my legs are fatigued. Then I got a hip cramp that night.

After this my shoulders and back tightened up and for the first time in several months I felt shoulder pain. I only did one exercise with my arms that was slightly different than my usual routine, and I intentionally did it with light weights since it was new. Besides, it was a bicep exercise, not a shoulder one.

This ache caused me to tense up my upper back and the tension between my shoulder blades was so tight, I had to push my back into doorway jams to work the kinks out several times during the day… basically using the corners of the doorway to massage the knots out of my upper back.

Old. That’s the feeling this morning. I feel like the rust has formed on my joints, and the whole machine is seizing up. This morning I’ll ride my stationary bike for 20 leisurely minutes, do some stretching, and that will be my workout. Tomorrow I have a massage booked and it will be a painful one. A lot of deep tissue work on my upper back, and hamstring work because my tight hamstrings tend to be the root of my leg and hip issues.

Maybe after that I can remember why I work so hard to take care of myself, remember to spend more time stretching, and start to feel young again. Maybe I need reminders like this to refocus me. When I don’t exercise, my back pain becomes chronic. But I have to say that it’s not fun to ache in several places at once, and while exercise usually keeps the rust away, right now this machine feels old and rusty.

This morning my age is getting the best of me… but I’m not done feeling young. I’ll work my way back to healthy, and oil these joints back to fully operational again. The alternative to this is being lazy and letting myself fall back into a life of daily pain, and feeling even older than I do today. No, I’d rather keep active and find my way back to feeling young again.

Cycles of energy and interest

This was the first weekend all year that I didn’t shoot arrows. I could have made the time but I didn’t. I’ve also been going through the motions for my workouts, getting my cardio in, but not doing a lot more. I think I need to change things up a bit. I am also finding my daily blog a lot harder to get started each morning, the blank page feels daunting.

I tend to be an even-keeled person who doesn’t hit extreme highs and lows, and so it can be hard to know when I’m feeling low. Often it’s only after I recognize my own lethargy towards the things I enjoy doing that I realize that I’m in a bit of a funk. While there are disadvantages to not feeling the high highs, there are advantages to not feeling the low lows… I can identify where I am and make small adjustments to unstick myself.

I’m going to wake up a bit earlier so I feel less rushed. I’m going to shoot arrows after school 3 times this week. I’m going to give myself a physical challenge that reinvigorates my workouts. I’ve hit a low cycle and I’ve realized it. I’m going to act my way into a new way of thinking, because that’s easier than thinking my way into a new way of acting.

I’m lucky that I’m able to do this, I know many who struggle to do the same, some who simply can’t. They get consumed by anxiety or depression and can not (as opposed to will not) move themselves out of it easily. For those that struggle in this way, we are unhelpful when we tell them to snap out of it, or just to think of something else, or to cheer up.

For them we can be helpful by listening, not judging, by acknowledging, not instructing, and by engaging in active conversations, going for walks, being outside, and being social. We can share our energy and time. I think too often we don’t give people we care about our time.

For me, I need to give myself the time to do things I enjoy… and I need to remind myself that I enjoy these things. It’s like I need a reminder that I get joy out of the things I enjoy. I like shooting arrows, even if my score doesn’t constantly get better. I enjoy writing daily, it’s a positive outlet, not a chore. I enjoy getting my heart rate up and feeling the endorphins of a good quick workout. And I’m blessed that I can cognitively make this shift simply by thinking about it.

And so my workout beckons. I’m going to try my new headphones on my treadmill, then do a light all-around workout keeping my heart rate up the whole time, rather than pushing any one muscle group. And I’ll put my current audio books on hold and listen to some music today.

It’s time to shift into a good cycle, and I’m already on my way simply by writing about it today.

The shade of our minds

My morning meditation included this quote:

“We are sitting under the tree of our thinking minds, wondering why we’re not getting any sunshine.” ~ Ram Dass

It’s interesting to think about some of the negative loops we play in our mind:

Self doubt – I’m not good enough. I can’t do it, it’s too hard for me.

Regret – Both for the things we’ve done, and the things we wish we did.

Sadness – for things we’ve lost, for uncomfortable moments that happened in our lives, and also just in our minds.

We put up our own shade while wondering why the sun doesn’t shine on us… and we do this without ever leaving our own thoughts. But we aren’t always in control. The dark spaces can grow, the shade can seem to be daunting. Grey, stormy clouds do not allow the sun through, even if we get out from under the tree.

“Smile.”

“Snap out of it.”

“Just think happy thoughts.”

It’s so easy for someone who sees sunshine to toss out simple advice to those who are stuck in the gloomy shade. But it’s so hard to have the advice of others penetrate the shade we cast on ourselves. When we are stuck in the shade, we do not feel in control of navigating to brighter spaces in our minds. If we did… we would, if only it were so simple.

—

However it is important to remember that we are not our thoughts, our thoughts are not us. If we can recognize this, we can create some cognitive dissonance. We can separate the elements of shade we create in our heads from the shade we are experiencing. We can have doubts and still move forward, we can fake confidence and pretend we are more capable than we feel. We can act our way into a new way of thinking. We can choose to do something that reduces regrets from the things done and not done. We might not feel happy, but we can choose to see our sadness rather than live it, to observe it from a place where it does not grip us so tightly.

So easy to say, when one is not feeling down, when not depressed, when we see potential in ourselves and others… So far away from achievable when we are in the midst of shadow, gloom, and despair. We do not think our way out of bad thinking so easily, we do not break the loop from within the loop. When everything is spinning around us, it can feel like nothing stops moving even if we can stand still. We can’t un-think our own thoughts so easily.

Yet we can act differently, we can choose what to do when we can’t choose what to think. We can take a walk in nature, we can connect with a friend who makes us feel better. We can read a book that takes us to places our minds didn’t know we could go. We can dress in a way that makes us feel empowered. We can do a kind act for others and feel the endorphins that is the reward for selflessness… for not just thinking for and about ourselves.

We can exercise, not to transform our bodies but to transform our minds… not a gruelling workout to make ourselves more fit, but short spurts of activity to change our heart rate and clear some clouds. Activity vignettes that alter our physiology, and get us out of a rut.

We can pattern what we do to pattern what we think, rather than the other way around… Routines can be ruts, and routines can be grooves. We can find physical grooves that helps us out of mental ruts. We can act our way into new thinking when we can not think our way into new action… because the shade won’t think itself away, and sunshine does not fill the shadows when we choose to create our own clouds.

It’s not what we think, but what we do that makes a difference, and action is what moves us from underneath the shady trees of our minds.

Choosing or observing?

How much of our lives are passive?

We observe the world, watching through our eyes, hearing through our ears, feeling through our skin, and tasting in our mouths. Each of these senses giving us feedback about the world around us. But how much time do we spend really choosing what those senses share with us, versus passively accepting what those senses are exposed to?

It is our action or lack of action that determines what our senses observe or endure. Is there a hobby you’ve always wanted to try? A food you’ve always wanted to taste? A place you’ve always wanted to visit? (Maybe somewhere you can walk or hike to, while travel is restricted.)

How much time do we spend being observers of this world, mere victims of our circumstances, versus creators of our world, choosing our path and seeking out new experiences, new things that our senses can take in?

This is a choice. Not realizing this is also a choice.

The great outdoors

For the first time since last summer I got on my bike and headed for a ride behind a nearby lake. I forgot how rejuvenating it can be to be in the woods, to hear the rush of water, to see the distant snow covered mountains, and glimpse a waterfall in the distance. All this just a 20 minute drive and 30 minute ride from my house.

I often go for wonderful walks with my wife on the dykes, and in a wooded lot near our house, so it’s not like I don’t ever get out in nature. However today I felt like I was really absorbed into the environment. The world felt so alive.

If you need a pick-me-up, escape into an environment where you are surrounded by nature. Leave you phone in your pocket, and music off. Appreciate the natural world in all its splendour.

A whole-lot-a noth’n

I didn’t think I’d spend the last days of my March break coasting, but I have. Usually a break for me is a time to refocus on fitness and really push myself. Not this break. Yesterday and today involved long naps and very little done.

I had some fun shooting arrows, and I had a lovely walk with my wife… and I did a whole lot of nothing else. It’s a bit anti-climatic, but I also realize something interesting. Usually I need to get a lot of exercise in, and push myself on my breaks, because I’ve been a sloth during the time that I’m at work. But until last week, I’ve had at least 5 workouts a week all year. I’ve been pushing myself since January 2019, and I’m in great shape. Sure the past 2 weeks have slid me off of my new fitness goal, but so what? I’ll get right on that tomorrow, or Tuesday at the latest.

I’m going to chalk this up as a needed break. I’m going to blame covid. I’m going to write it off and start anew. But for now, I’m going to squeeze this daily post in after 11pm for the second night I’m a row. I’m going to forgive myself for missing my first meditation in about 140 days, last Thursday, and I’m going to count my 5k walk with my wife as my exercise for today.

I’m also going to shoot some more arrows tomorrow, and skip the email catchup until I get to work on Tuesday. I’m going to ride out tomorrow as my last lazy day of holidays, and hopefully hit Tuesday morning with a whole lot more energy. But tomorrow, I’m giving myself full permission to do a whole lot of not much, and feel good about this as a choice I’m making to end my break.

Silver lining vs grey cloud

I recently wrote this in a comment on LinkedIn, in response to my post, ‘Cruise ships and education‘:

“…the pandemic also has many thinking about coping and not thriving, being safe and not being creative.”

The pandemic has opened the door to look at things differently, but a year into this, my creative juices have slowed. I think about ideas and I see roadblocks. I tell students they can’t do things because of safety, rather than trying to get to ‘Yes’. I hold off on interesting projects that would add things to other’s plates. I feel my excitement wane when I get together for another online meeting, even if I like the topic of discussion.

I feel that opportunity is meeting fatigue. There is a saying that every grey cloud has a silver lining… but some grey clouds hide that silver lining. Sometimes the rain doesn’t even let you see the clouds. Right now the metaphorical rains are pouring for me. I’m getting work done, but I’m not thriving at work. I’m exercising regularly, but I’m going through the motions, in maintainance mode, rather than pushing myself. I’m writing daily, but I’m not getting lost in the creative act. I’m listening to a book, but not feeling like I’m enjoying it, and bouncing to podcasts that I’d normally love, but find my mind wondering, unfocused as I listen.

On Monday there was great news about how fast the vaccine would be coming to all Canadians that want it. It should have been exciting news, but I find myself doubting the timelines. In all honesty, I don’t know if I’m truly doubtful based on facts, or if I need to be doubtful because it would be painful to see that silver lining ahead of me and then be crushed that it does not come to fruition. I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than devastatingly disappointed.

“…the pandemic also has many thinking about coping and not thriving, being safe and not being creative.”

‘Many’ includes me. I’m seeing a lot of grey and not a lot of silver right now. I need to give myself permission to be in maintenance mode… To focus on caring for myself and those around me, and not beat myself up for coping rather than thriving.

_____

Postscript: I read this (long but well worth reading) article after writing the post above, and it struck a cord with me:

5 Pandemic Mistakes We Keep Repeating

…especially this part:

One thing that I didn’t balance with my thoughts above is that there are so many people who have handled this pandemic poorly, including those leading us, that in a way ‘coping’ is succeeding. We aren’t just fighting the pandemic, we are fighting misinformation, ignorance, and leadership choosing to follow the science only as far as political and economic agendas will allow… all clouds that hide the silver lining (and the hope for it).

My goal is to see some normalcy in early 2022. Anything before that isn’t just silver, it’s gold!

TGIF

In BC, Canada we have a Family Day holiday on Monday. It’s a long weekend. I am not someone who counts down to the weekend or to the next long holiday. I don’t begrudge workday Monday mornings. But right now I’m looking forward to having the extra day off next week.

No, I don’t have any plans. Pretty sure it’s going to be a catch-up-on-the-cleaning weekend at home. But it’s going to be nice and relaxing too. It’s going to be at least 2 days not thinking about work. It’s going to include walks, and maybe some fun shooting arrows.

Sometimes, it just feels wonderful knowing that it’s the Friday before a long weekend. I’m going to take that feeling with me to work today, and as busy at it might get… it’s going to be a great day.

TGIF!

State of Limbo

With news like, ‘January has been the worst month for Covid-19 deaths in the US’, and ‘Getting the vaccine doesn’t mean you can travel’, it is a bit of a reminder that we are not out of the woods yet. Now a year into the pandemic, (we just had the anniversary of the first covid case in Canada), it feels a bit like Groundhog Day, the Bill Murray movie where he wakes up repeatedly on the same day.

Keep wearing a mask and keeping socially distanced… Keep your bubble small, avoid unnecessary public outings and travel… Meet digitally whenever possible. These are things we are used to hearing and doing. And while a year into this pandemic we might be a bit tired of doing these things, it needs to sink in that 2021 could be a whole lot of the same.

My thoughts: If everything goes well, it could be September before we get close to vaccinating enough of the population to truly ease up on our personal restrictions. More likely, we are looking at January 2022. That’s another year away. I think things will get much better, but the path will be slower than everyone wants.

That’s tough to think about when it feels like we’ve been in limbo for such a long time already. It’s tough to keep diligent and be thoughtful about always being careful. But it’s necessary.

Set some personal wellness goals and set aside time to be outside and/or meditate. Make the year ahead one where you improve or enjoy yourself in some way. Take up a hobby or interest that doesn’t require other people. From scrapbooking, to reading fiction, to tinkering around with electronics, to buying a 3D printer, to knitting, to watching award winning movies from the 80’s and 90’s, to flying drones, to running 5 or 10km regularly, there are things you can do that promise to be rewarding or entertaining. While social opportunities are not available, we need not have our minds remain in limbo. 

That said: Be patient. Be smart. Be diligent. Be well. Stay safe.