Tag Archives: habits

Daily coffee routine

Almost 40 years ago, when I got hired as an assistant manager at Starbucks, I spent the first few weeks taste testing coffees and espresso drinks on every break. I’d end up having 5-7 coffees in a shift. Then I’d go home on weekends and by noon on Saturday I’d have a pounding headache… basically my body would be craving caffeine. It took me a while to realize what the problem was. I started taking regular breaks from coffee, and I’d sometimes go a week with no coffee. Then I’d keep to two or less cups when I did drink it.

Now I basically drink one cup a day. Occasionally I have two, but it’s quite seldom, and if I forget a day it’s not usually a big deal. Well yesterday I slept in and didn’t have coffee right away, and sure enough a headache started. It has been a long time since I’ve felt it, but I knew it was a withdrawal headache. It’s amazing how the lack of regular caffeine can have so much power over me.

This makes me think about the many small ‘addictions’ we have. The craving for sugar, for salt, for adrenaline, for exercise, for love, for belonging. When we get these things regularly, we take them for granted, but when we are missing then… in some way we develop a headache.

Our routines, both healthy and unhealthy, help us meet the needs we create.

The Value of Critical Feedback

It’s so important to have friends and colleagues who can give you critical feedback. Yesterday I did a presentation to all of our students on the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. This was not an overview but just an introduction to the book with a personal story that demonstrated how the book influenced me in a positive way. Over the next few weeks I plan on sharing around 10 two-minute videos to help students develop and integrate one positive habit at school, using the strategies in the book.

After my presentation one of my teachers said, “Really good presentation, do you want some critical feedback?” I replied positively and she shared it with me.

I was sharing a slide about my fitness journey and tracking my workouts, and in my first year of tracking I also tracked intermittent fasting. It wasn’t part of my original plan, but I ended up talking for a bit about this too, and how it really doesn’t do much for you other than reducing calorie intake, but that it did reduce my after dinner snacking and helped me lose some unwanted weight.

This was what I got feedback on. My colleague told me that this part of the presentation wasn’t needed, and that for some of our students weight and weight loss as a topic as could be very triggering.

This was a great point! As I reflected on what I said, I not only agreed with my colleague’s feedback, I recognized how a fairly fit, pretty skinny guy talking about weight loss was insensitive… and again, wasn’t even necessary to make my point. It was easy for me to acknowledge this, see the value in receiving this feedback, and be thankful for receiving it.

This feedback will help me be a little more sensitive and thoughtful in my upcoming videos and in future presentations. I really appreciate working in an environment where my colleagues feel comfortable giving me feedback like this. Critical feedback is essential for growth, and while it can be hard to hear that my presentation might have been insensitive to some, it’s far better to know this than to be ignorant of it.

We also work hard to create an environment where our students can give each other critical feedback, and I know that this is far more likely to happen if adults in the building are also open to giving and receiving it amongst each other. Our students see their peers give a lot of presentations, and they have been getting better and better at giving good feedback, but it can still be challenging for them both giving and receiving critical feedback. The important thing is to make sure the culture is to make critical feedback constructive, even if poignant. What value does the critical feedback provide? If this is kept in mind, then the feedback can be far more helpful than just positive praise and platitudes.

But the relationship is dependent on both the giver and receiver understanding the positive intent of critical feedback. In my example above, I could clearly see my error and appreciate the feedback. That doesn’t always happen with critical feedback, and so when the feedback is not as well received, or not as obvious, that’s when it’s important to have a culture of acceptance and openness to feedback. If the culture is there, then it’s just feedback. When the culture is missing, critical feedback can be demotivating, or even hurtful.

Packaged well, in the right environment, critical feedback is a fantastic way to help adults and students alike learn and grow. It turns challenges and failures into opportunities to improve… and even the process itself holds tremendous value because giving critical feedback well is a communication skill everyone can value learning.

Changing Perspectives

I’m lounging in a hammock under a couple trees:

When I look up, I see the tree that my feet point to:

Although the tree is vertical and I am horizontal, I am cocooned into the hammock and can’t see the ground, so my perspective is that I’m standing and I can just walk along the horizontal tree in front of me. This shifts the entire world 90 degrees. It looks like I can walk the tree plank over the sky. I simply raise my head to see the ground and this perspective just disappears.

In how many ways can we intentionally do this to gain new perspectives on our world?

That person at work or that student at school who you find annoying, what if you knew more about the struggles they face?

That traffic jam slowing you down, what if it was your car that was rear-ended unexpectedly and you were going to have to deal with months of physiotherapy?

That chore you hate doing, what if you found some pleasure in doing it? What if you could also use that time to listen to something interesting while you completed the task?

So many experiences can be more tolerable, interesting, engaging, or enjoyable, simply by changing perspective. The world doesn’t need to shift 90 degrees to achieve this. In fact, the change can be minor, but the experience can be significantly different… Changing our breathing, tilting our head, looking up, listening intently, smiling, seeking rather than settling, questioning rather than accepting. Everything is a matter of perspective, and perspectives are not hard to change, if change is what you seek.

Summer mode

There are still a few things I need to do before I go full into summer mode. Most I’ll get done this week, but a few items will drag into next week. But I’m already feeling distracted and like I’m slowing down. I don’t feel very efficient right now.

Part of this is the routine woes that I already spoke about. I have tried to keep my routines, but it’s 6:30am and I’m usually done writing and meditating by now. I’ve already pushed my workout later in the day twice and missed a workout this week, and it’s only Thursday.

Part of me knows it has been a long year and I’m partially checked out, which is easy to do going to a building where there are no students or teachers, and even my secretaries have been relocated for summer. Part of me feels like I’m just being lazy. No matter how I look at it, I’m less productive than I should be. Yesterday I checked two things off of my ‘To Do’ list and I added two more. Today I hope to add nothing new and just check off a few more.

One item I’m excited to do will have to wait. It’s a series of lessons I’m developing based on James Clear’s book Atomic Habits. I want to create 10 two-to-three minute lessons to run over 2 weeks, with a goal of students starting a good habit that they decide on. My whiteboard in my office has had most of the concept and plan on it all year, but I really need some uninterrupted planning time to get it from idea to reality, and my ‘to do’ list is too big of a distraction right now. Still, I’m excited to get this ready for September, and I know I’ll be coming into my office to get it done over the break.

But for right now, I need to stay in work mode and get stuff done. Summer holidays won’t feel like holidays until I can put my ‘away from office’ notification on my email. Until then, I need to push summer mode to the side.

Routine woes

It’s the last day of school for teachers, and although I will be in next week I’ve already started to alter my early morning schedule. No workout this morning and the latest I’ve written for this blog on a school day since I started writing daily in the summer of 2019.

This is a bit of a wake up call for me. My pattern for workouts and meditation start to fall apart in the summer when I break my work routine. I don’t want that to happen (again) this summer so I’m going to need to build in a regular routine that works. I used to think routines were boring, now I realize they help me get stuff done.

One routine I broke this year is archery. I haven’t shot arrows in a couple months. I haven’t been upset about it, I let it go because everything felt overwhelming and I decided writing, fitness, and meditation were more important. I hope to build archery back into my summer routine… I just need to figure out what that routine will look like.

I’ve got one more week to figure it out.

You build habits on your bad days

I touched on this in my post, Just show up:

We live in a society now where there is so much pressure to do well; to be your best; to shine. It’s not easy. But sometimes the message doesn’t have to be ‘you are awesome’, ‘you have so much potential’, or ‘push yourself’. Sometimes the message of ‘just show up’ is all we need to hear.

  • Don’t plan an hour workout, just show up at the gym.

  • Don’t worry about how much you have to do, just start.

I’d like to expand on this idea a bit. When you ‘really really don’t want to go’ to the gym or start your workout, you still need to go. You don’t need to do anything amazing, you just need to get started and know that you are doing something good.

Not going is a slippery slope to a bad habit. If you decide not to go or get started when you ‘really really don’t want to’, that makes it easier to not go when you ‘really don’t want to’. And that makes it easier not to go when you ‘kinda don’t want to’… and so it becomes easier to break the habit.

It’s easy to maintain a habit when you are having good days, it’s the bad days that are the problem. It’s the bad days that break the pattern, or that solidify your commitment. Doing the hard work on the tough days are what keep good habits going.

Some days you’ve got to play your ‘B’ game rather than your ‘A’ game. An excuse that you are not up to your ‘A’ game is not a good enough reason to not show up. On the contrary, your ‘A’ game gets better when you do the work even on your bad days

If it’s important

I love this quote, “If it’s important, you’ll find  a way.  If not,  you’ll find an excuse.”

It’s similar to this Derek Sivers quote I recently shared,

“I have a concept that says that your actions reveal your values better than your words. So no matter what you say you want to do, your actions show what your values really are.”

Eight years ago I created an image for a presentation I was doing:

Here is the blog post on my Pair-a-Dimes blog about the slide and the presentation. The concept is simple: If something is important to you, you will find your way and if it’s not important enough, you’ll find reasons not to change. The greater the challenge to change, the more important it needs to be to find your way rather than finding an excuse.

A couple days later, I added two more images and shared them in a post: Leading Change – 3 Images

I think I used these three images in every presentation I did for the next few years. I wasn’t thinking about forced changes like the pandemic created, I was thinking about changes we want to create. I was thinking about the potential we envision, and how we fight the systems and habits that make excuses easier than change.

It’s easy to be a cheerleader for change. It’s much harder to spend the time removing barriers and working with the resistors of change to make it as important to them as it is to the rest of your team.

It can’t just be important to you.

Master the art of showing up

The biggest change I’ve made to taking care of myself in the past few years is this:

“When determining the size or complexity of a new habit ask yourself, “What can I stick to—even on my worst day?”

Start there. Master the art of showing up. Then advance.” ~ James Clear

I’m not in the mood to work out today, but I’ll go get on my row machine for 10 minutes. That would be it, but I’m also going to run the weight club this morning and I’ll do a bit of weights. Then one of our students ends the session leading us through 15 minutes of yoga.

I could skip the row machine, I’ve got an excuse, I’m doing weight club. But how hard is it to do 10 minutes on the row machine listening to my audiobook? It’s faster than 20 minutes on the bicycle or treadmill. These are the minimums I allow myself. I know I can do these things even when I don’t want to. I know that I don’t have to go all out, I just have to put in the time. That’s what I can do on my worst day… I can go through the motions for 10 or 20 minutes.

Sometimes that’s all I really do… go through the motions. But more often than not, after planning to do just the minimum, I end up pushing myself just a little harder than expected. The plan is to show up, but I do more. That’s what happens when you master the art of showing up.

So just show up, and maybe you’ll do more. You just need to commit to showing up and doing the minimum, and being ok with when that’s all you do. Be happy with this low bar on your low days… and you’ll be amazed how often you achieve more.

Just do it… just show up!

Sometimes it will suck

I’m going to have to rush my morning routine because I’ve been writing ideas for my blog and each one of them will require more time than I have this morning to write them. So, I give them a title and shove them into my drafts for another day when I will be up earlier. And then I stared at the blank page, stuck.

On days like this I think of Seth Godin, who has written over 7,000 posts in his daily blog. Something that he wrote sticks with me… no matter how much you write, 50% of your work will be the worst 50%. You can’t escape this fact. So don’t worry about what you write, just write… and so today I’ll accept this post as the bottom half, but I am metaphorically putting pen to paper and I’ll hit ‘Publish’ soon. And maybe tomorrow I’ll put something in the top 50%… or at least the top 50% for now… because after another few thousand posts, who knows where it will rank?

Letting go of the worry of how good my writing is allows me to feel freer, and more open to sharing ideas. There is a time and place to think of just the right words, crafting an idea or even a sentence just the right way. And there are times to start writing and letting the words flow with little thought of how good the writing is. Sometimes suck is far better than stuck.

A messy desk

I’m not good with paper. I tend to have a desk filled with not-so-neatly piled papers. The piles accumulate and accumulate, then about 2 months after my last desk clean I look for something on my desk and I can’t find it, and that’s my cue that it’s time to clean it up again. Before that point, someone can ask me for something and I instantly find it, even if I have to go down a few layers. But when I have to start searching, not knowing where something is, that is no longer acceptable.

I also write notes on post-its and tend to have anywhere from 6-12 of them on the go at any time. It’s not efficient, and could be a lot more effective. I’ll find a first name and a phone number on a post-it note and have no memory of who the person is, and what I called them about. But, I didn’t throw the post-it away and it’s on my desk two months later.

I remember taking an organization course online that taught a filling system where everything went into a monthly folder. I failed to use this effectively for about 3 months, but the useless folders stayed on my desk for many more months after that… just a constant reminder of my inability to use them effectively.

Starting this coming week I’m going to try something new. I’m going to set two daily alarms, one in the morning and one in the late afternoon. The morning alarm will be to tidy my post-its so that I have a maximum of two post-its on my desk, with one being my ‘To-Do’ list for the day. My afternoon alarm will be to organize any paper that came my way, and get it in a folder or off my desk.

I’m setting a calendar reminder to look back at this post 2 months from now, that should be long enough to see what my desk looks like after after I do the clean-up on Monday.