Tag Archives: family

Workout whimper, not bang

We spent almost a full two days getting to Spain, having booked our trip to Paris first, then deciding to continue on to Barcelona rather than staying in France where my oldest is living. I was up at 4am on the Saturday morning and we didn’t get to our final destination until almost 8pm Sunday. I obviously didn’t get my workout routine in, then the next two days I woke up early and did pushups and leg raises to check off my daily workouts. I wrote about this in a post, The long game, and finished that post saying:

I’m not trying to run ultra marathons or have a bodybuilder physique. I’m actually going to let myself let loose and eat a bit more gluttonous while on vacation. But I’m also going to find time to exercise, I’m going to return home and be more thoughtful about my diet after my vacation. I’m going to keep playing the long game and not worry about minor fluctuations in my schedule. Because while there will be fluctuations, I’m going to keep a schedule of writing, meditation, and exercise. I’m not looking for quick gains, I’m just working on staying on a healthy path, knowing positive results are still to come… in time. Perseverance and the long game are the path I’m on.

But here is the confession, while I’ve done a lot of walking since then, I haven’t done my fitness routine at all and have only meditated a couple times. I’ve been out late with my family, and not waking up to do my routine. I’ve maintained my daily write, but mostly on the go, and when my family shops, or when we have down time between planned activities. My lack of exercise was more than a minor fluctuation, I’ve gone 10 days without a workout, which is the longest break in my streak since I started tracking in January 2019.

I’m not beating myself up about this, I’ll be back on track when I get back home. I just wanted to share because I think it’s important to share that while I’ve been on a pretty amazing fitness journey, it can have bumps and things don’t always work out as planned. After three years of dedication 2022 is ending on a whimper, not a bang, and while I’m on the worst streak of my 3 year journey, I’ll be back to my routine in the new year.

Things don’t always go as planned, and while things haven’t been great in the short term, I’m here for the long game and this blip will be over when I get home tomorrow… well maybe the next day since with time zone changes tomorrow will be longer than 24 hours and spent mostly on airplanes. The point is, I failed to keep a workout and meditation schedule while vacationing with my family, something I won’t get to do too often anymore now that my daughters are 23 and almost 21. I know I could have done more, but I didn’t. Things didn’t go as planned and that will happen. It did happen, but it won’t define any lasting pattern and I’ll be back at it in no time.

Airports and airplanes

Today we travel from Vancouver to Toronto to Paris to Barcelona. Including an early arrival to the airport, on one of the busiest travel days of the holiday, we will be traveling for 26 hours. Add another 9 hours on the clock to that for time zones and this makes for a looong day!

But we finally get to see our daughter, who turned 23 a couple days ago, for the first time since she moved to France. And our youngest daughter is with us, and this is our first family vacation in a few years.

We are going to spend a lot of time in airports and on airplanes… but I’m finally getting excited about the trip. And I’ve got a few episodes of a show downloaded on my iPad as well as 2 audio books on my phone. I have snacks, headphones, and AirPods, and a battery power bank to keep my devices charged. I’d like to just click my heels and arrive at my destination, but if I’m going to spend a whole day traveling, I might as well keep myself entertained.

Barcelona… here I come!

Anglicizing names

When my father’s father escaped the Ukraine and found his way to British Guyana he changed his last name from Trusu to Truss. When my mother was born in Barbados, her Polish last name was Birsztajn. But before her older twin sisters started school their parents, my grandparents, changed their name to Bernstein. Birsztajn was too hard to spell and pronounce. My grandmother on my dad’s side had her name changed by her parents from Ng Fong Hing to just Hing.

I grew up only knowing Truss, Bernstein and Hing. It wasn’t about trying to hide anything, it’s just what was adopted and accepted. None of these families tried to hide their heritage, they just wanted their names to fit more easily in the new countries they found themselves in.

I’m not sure that would happen as often today? Many people still change their first name to fit in, but few change their last name. It was just something that was done back then, and it speaks to the eclectic nature of my heritage that 3 of my 4 grandparents had anglicized last names.

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My 4th grandparent’s last name, my mother’s mom, was Gonsalves.

If I could turn back time

My oldest daughter leaves for France this morning. She’s going to teach English for 8 months in two very small neighbouring towns on the west coast of Bordeaux. I’m so excited for her, especially since she was supposed to spend a semester abroad in her third year of university and that was cancelled due to the pandemic. She is finally getting the trip she was hoping for 2 years after planning to go. It will be a wonderful adventure for her.

When I did my first university degree, it was in International Development and I told myself, “I’m not going to consider this degree complete until I travel to a developing nation and experience what I’m studying.” That didn’t happen. I ended up spending two years working as a lifeguard, and coaching and playing water polo 6 or 7 days a week, then I moved from Toronto to Vancouver. I didn’t end up doing any major travel until about 18 years after graduation, when I went to live in China.

I live a pretty content life with very little I regret, but if I could turn back time and do one thing differently, I would have travelled more when I was younger. If I could give advice to a younger me, that’s the big thing I’d share… (well, that and buy Apple stocks😀).

I see some high school students excited to head to university and they know exactly what they want to do. To them I think, ‘go for it, good for you!’ But I also see kids that just don’t know what they want to do. For them I think, ‘take a year off!’ Still apply for university if you want, then differ for a year. In both cases, travel and see a bit of the world before settling down in a job.

I didn’t become a teacher until I was 30. I have told both of my kids, “If you finish your degree, travel for 2 years, work for a year, do a whole other degree, and then do a year’s work at something you really wanted to try before finally starting a career… you’d still be ahead of my timeline.” When I’m done my career, I will still have had close to 30 years as an educator. I tell my kids there is time for a career after you try doing a few things you really want to do. And who knows, maybe the adventures you go on lead to a career you truly love.

I’m lucky to have a family and a career that bring me joy, and I know that if I had travelled more, I might never have met my wife and had my two wonderful kids. So I still actually don’t regret the choices I’ve made. But looking back at my younger self, I’d say ‘travel more’ would be the advice I’d give if I could whisper to myself half a lifetime ago.

24 years ago

On the 26th of August 1997 I proposed to my wife. Today we celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary. If I were to pick something as my best life decision my proposal to Ann would be it. I remember when we started dating, I was talking to my mom on the phone and told her, “I think I met the girl I’m going to mary, she just doesn’t know it yet.” And while I try to be the best husband I can be, my wife is giving and caring in a way I always aspire to be.

I am blessed, and I hope the next 24 years bring as much or more joy to me, to us, that we have had in the last quarter century. We live in an amazing country with fantastic opportunities for us and our kids. We have two amazing kids that are delightful to watch grow up, and who have grown into fantastic young women. We have great jobs that we love, and a beautiful home. And we have great friends that we both enjoy being around.

Today I don’t just celebrate my anniversary, I celebrate the wonderful lives my wife and I have built together.

Resonance

Strum a guitar near another guitar and the second guitar’s strings start to vibrate.

Jim Rohn says that ‘you are the average of the five friends you hang around with’. This resonates with me. This resonates like the guitar.

Even these words combine to resonate as you read them, some with understanding, some with agreement, some with doubt, some with disagreement… Once read, the words resonate.

What do you do when you come across someone that doesn’t resonate? Do you pluck your own strings harder, louder, so that you drown out the sound the other is creating? Do you try to hear what they resonate with? Do you try to find a way to mutually resonate? Do you leave them be?

We can strive to resonate, or we can choose dissonance. Consensus or conflict. We can create music or noise.

I know that I want to positively resonate with others, but I also find myself seeking dissonance and distance, from those that do not resonate with me. Dissonance when others resonate with hate, and harm others. Distance to showboating, antagonists, and stupidity.

Resonance, dissonance, and distance. There is a time and place for all three… but what I seek, what fills my heart is finding ways to resonate with family, friends, and those that I can assist and support. Seeking resonance fills me with harmony and gratitude, and I’m grateful for all the wonderful people that want to resonate with me.

A dad’s secret

I love this.

I saw this TikTok last night and it really warmed my heart. A dad kept a childhood secret from his kid until she was 32 and had her own kids. Her dad would take her and her siblings to the beach to go shell fishing, but would go to a souvenir shop first and buy pretty shells. Then he’d throw them in the ripples of waves to be found.

How did she finally find out all these years later? Because he started doing it for her kids, his grandkids. Here is the video.

I grew up on a tropical beach. I still remember the joy of finding a beautiful, unbroken shell. I wish I did this for my kids… and one day I hope to do this for my grandkids.

Different memories

One really interesting thing about getting together with my sisters is hearing their versions of past events. Sometimes they’d share something that I did, and I have no memory of the event. Sometimes I’d remember it but there would be differences in both circumstances and significance. For me, this is fascinating.

Most of the events we shared were minor. Small instances where we said or did something silly, or times when things didn’t necessarily go as planned. We shared a lot of laughs at who we used to be. Old photos helped us recall some of these memories.

We are shaped by the memories we have. Some of these memories are monumental in building our character, our relationships, and our identity. Some memories hold power over us and hold us back… but they are not what happened, they are what we remembered, and how we add meaning to them.

I believe that we can change our past, we can alter our thoughts on how much a memory means to us and what it means to us. We can find silver linings in memories that are dark clouds. We can allow angry moments to fade to black and white. We can tuck memories away where they feel more distant and have less of a hold on us.

The fact that every person remembers things differently tells us that memories are pliable… and so why not use that to make memories work for us? After spending time with my sisters, I like a few of their versions of shared memories more than my own… and I think I’ll keep their versions.

What’s between our ears is the last frontier

That’s a quote my dad often shares,

“What’s between our ears is the last frontier.” ~ Abraham Truss

Isn’t it amazing how much we know about the complexities of life, the universe and everything, but we don’t know where consciousness comes from? We still debate whether or not we have free will.

There is so much we still don’t know about the last frontier.

Family and food

I have been back with my parents for just over 24 hours and I’ve already over-eaten. I blame it mostly on my sister who barely weighs 100lbs and eats 6-7 meals a day, each one bigger than a normal sized meal for me. She’s always thinking about food and she’s an incredible cook. I just finished a pickled cabbage salad she made that I could eat every day for a month without getting bored of the taste.

For me, getting together with my family has two wonderful benefits. First, I spend time with them and laugh, and enjoy their company. And second, and equally as important, I get to enjoy the fusion flavours of home. With Chinese and Jewish heritage, both with roots from South America (Guyana) and the Caribbean (Barbados & Trinidad), my family meals are three things: eclectic, spicy, and delicious!

I’m glad that I’m maintaining some level of fitness while here, because in the coming days I’m going to over-eat. I can’t help myself… and I don’t want to!

There’s nothing like home cooking.