Tag Archives: community

Kindness of strangers

I have a small magnetic wallet at the back of my phone. It holds 4 cards snugly. After work finished, I took my work Mastercard and one other card out, with intentions of replacing them. But before I did, the two remaining cards fell out. I didn’t notice until the end of a busy day where I had been on a long walk and at a shopping mall as well as work and home.

The missing cards were my Visa and my Driver’s license. I quickly put my card on hold, freezing it from use, and started the hunt. I retraced my steps that day and couldn’t find them. Then I was contacted by a postal worker, who found my cards and returned them to my mailbox. He then found me and my wife on Facebook and messaged us both.

I’ve thanked him in a message, but haven’t had communication back yet to find out where they were found.**

There are always reports about scammers, theft, and violence that make the news. It’s just nice to know there are good, kind, thoughtful people out in the world.

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** Update, he found them in a mailbox near the trail I walked. So it was two good people: the first who put them in the mailbox, and the mail carrier who delivered them to my house!

Grade 9 for a day

Today a group of Grade 8 students who will be joining our school next year are spending the day with us at our school. Our Grade 9’s have planned the day for them. Our school only takes a few students from each of our middle schools so students arrive at our school in September knowing very few other students.

While students will be nervous today, this event really breaks the ice for students when they join us in September. It allows them to arrive at their new school already knowing a bit more of their community, both students in their grade, and older students who have already welcomed they to our community.

It’s a long day for me because we also run an after school barbecue for parents followed by our Parent Advisory Committee meeting in the evening. But I love days like this. I enjoy seeing our students welcome other students to our school. It’s fun to see the nervousness of the new students fade away throughout the day. And it’s great to feed our community.

Last year we only ran this event for an afternoon, and we didn’t run it at all during the two covid years before that. So it’s nice to bring back the full tradition, and to provide this community event again. It adds to the welcoming feeling to our school, gives our Grade 9’s an authentic leadership experience, and gives our future students a great sense of our school community.

Attention to what really matters

Yesterday I had a couple meetings that took me out of my school for most of the morning. I got back to my building and immediately started my lunch. It was about 20 minutes before teachers would be in the staff room and so I was there alone. A student saw me through the clear glass walls and asked to speak to me.

She was honoured with doing a speech at our district’s indigenous student graduation ceremony next week and she wanted advice. I invited her in, listened while I ate, and provided some initial feedback. She’ll work on it and come back to me.

Just as I was ending that discussion there was another student at the door. She invited me to see her Independent Directed Study final presentation the next day (today). I told her I’d love to see it and set an alarm on my phone to remind me.

What a productive lunch! Instead of sitting and eating alone, I got to spend time talking with students, and it was by far the best part of my day. I love that students feel they can come to me for help and want me to see them present. It reminds me of why I like my job, of what my job is all about.

It’s easy to get buried in the work of running a school. I can spend my entire day in my office and in meetings… doing important work that needs to be done. But if I don’t make time for students, if they only see me as a guy in my office too busy to talk to them, then I don’t know why I got into this position.

As I come off an extended leave due to a herniated disc, I’ve been absolutely swamped trying to get back up to speed. It’s easy to get lost in the work and to forget what really matters… our students. And if we can’t find time for them, they won’t look for us to help and support them. They won’t see us as part of their learning community. These relationships are key to foster, and moments like this lunch remind me that I’ve got to put the time in, or moments like this won’t happen.

In the neighbourhood

Had a buddy drop by today while on a bicycle ride. It was wonderful to get an unexpected visit. An unscheduled visit just isn’t something that happens anymore.

I grew up in a house where the front door was almost never locked. There were days that I would come home from school and a friend would be waiting in the basement for me. They’d open the door and announce that they were there to visit me. My mom wouldn’t even come down the stairs, she’d just tell them I’m not home yet and to go to the basement. A couple of them would even help themselves to milk and cookies before going down the stairs. My mom wouldn’t think twice of feeding them dinner as well. For years we thought my mom’s favourite part of the chicken was the wings, but she just always took them to make sure we had enough food for our unexpected guests. ❤️

I had an older cousin who would drop by unexpectedly and see what’s for dinner. If she didn’t like what she saw, she just left. Other times she’d call and tell my mom, “Don’t cook, I’m making dinner tonight.” That meant that we were having Kentucky Fried Chicken. We loved her visits whether she was bringing food or sitting with us to have what we were having.

I miss the days of unexpected visits, of people dropping by because ‘I was in the neighbourhood’. There was the spontaneity of hanging out and/or breaking bread when it wasn’t at all part of the day’s plan. Even today, my buddy texted before knocking on the door… back in the day there was no opportunity to call if you were in the neighbourhood unless you made an effort to find a payphone. Today, we’d know days in advance before one of our kids brought a friend over just for a visit, much less a meal. And almost nothing is planned on the same day.

Nowadays if there’s an unexpected knock on the door your mind immediately goes to either a package delivery or someone soliciting something. I miss the delight of opening our front door and having a friend there without a plan being made well in advance. Today, I was treated with that again, and it was wonderful.

Something really special

I sometimes forget how lucky I was at the start of my teaching career. I worked with some amazing leaders and educators, and we created very special learning experiences for our students. When I meet former students from those teaching years, they often share a few different comments such as:

  • Middle school was my favourite time in school.
  • You guys made school so much fun.
  • You taught us life skills I still think about.
  • We could tell you all loved teaching and loved working together.
  • It was such a special school!

Today my wife and I (we both taught at the school back then) met up with a former student visiting from Ottawa. She had invited friends and former teachers to meet at a local park. This student is pregnant with her first child and she talked about wanting to find a future school for her newborn that was as special as Como Lake Middle was to her.

She said, ‘For years I thought every middle school was as fantastic as our school’, and that it was comments on our Facebook pages about how special our experience was (from other former students) that made her realize, ‘Wait, that isn’t normal for every middle school?’ She said she thought that’s just what middle school was before talking to her husband and others that didn’t have such an amazing experience.

She brought up a specific lesson I’d shared in a leadership class, and like others she mentioned how much fun the teachers had together. She brought up an experience in PE class where the Vice Principal highlighted her effort in PE, even though she was, as she described it, ‘in the middle of the pack athletically’. And she mentioned a teacher visiting her class on the first day and teasing her teacher in such a fun way that everyone had a good laugh (including her teacher being teased).

I need to spend more time reflecting, fondly reminiscing, and appreciating those years, and the connections to students from those years. They really were something special.

Major congestion

Yesterday I shared how malls are empty and said, “... all malls won’t die just the stand-alone ones. The newest form of densification in cities is to build a mall or commercial level shopping below high rises…”

Today I’m stuck in Traffic on the 401, the busiest highway in North America, and I wonder how more densification will affect this? Will these new vertical communities encourage less commuting or will the sheer volume of people overwhelm our transportation infrastructure?

It will depend on developers. Will they develop so that the pulse of our cities is pedestrian? Or will we continue to live inside smaller and smaller condos and use our car as the majority of our outside our apartment experiences. I hope to see more outdoor spaces designed for pedestrians to travel and congregate, but real estate is money and most developers care more about profit than liveability, even though liveability is a huge selling point.

Other countries are building communities that don’t require commuting, how much longer will we be focused on cars and congestion instead of cafés and places for pedestrians to shop, eat, and congregate?

No small parts

In the last 3 nights I’ve seen my daughter in the musical Carrie, a Broadway Across Canada presentation of Pretty Woman the Musical, and my daughter again in her final performance of Carrie.

I was reminded of the Konstantin Stanislavski quote: “There are no small parts, only small actors”. A stage performance requires every actor to play their part big or small. When they all do, the performance shines.

How many people are there where we play a small role in their lives? Are we playing small but important roles? Or are we just small actors? I think we have the choice to do either… and while it may not seem like a big role to us, it can be for the others we have a role with.

No small parts.

You don’t know

One of the challenges of being an educator… Sometimes you don’t know.

You don’t know that the way you say something triggers a kid.

You don’t know that a kid missed breakfast, or that they didn’t have anything in the house they could have for breakfast.

You don’t know that after school they have to fend for themselves, and maybe a younger sibling too.

You don’t know how abusive a parent is.

You don’t know how stupid a kid feels.

You don’t know how crippling perfectionism is.

You don’t know the root cause of misbehaviour.

You don’t know the bullying was happening until it went too far.

You don’t know how important your validation is.

You don’t know how hard the learning challenges really are.

You don’t know that the distracted kids really wants to pay attention but the distractions are too loud in their heads.

Sometimes you don’t know what you needed to know about a kid to be a better teacher for them.

Ah, but then sometimes you don’t know…

How appreciated you are. How much you are looked up to. How valuable your connection is to a kid for whom you are the only caring adult that listens to them.

Sometimes you don’t know that the joke you shared in class was the only smile a kid had that day. That you make a kid feel smart. That you are the only person to give a kid a 4th chance because life isn’t baseball and no kid deserves only 3 strikes.

Sometimes you don’t know how valuable you are to the kids, the families, and the community you serve.

Back inside

While visiting Barcelona I said, “It’s fascinating to see how the city is designed for pedestrians.” I loved that streets were converted to one-way so that there could be more sidewalks, and every nook and open space between buildings would be transformed into courtyards and places to sit and be outside.

Now, after returning home I realize that I’m always indoors. Yes, I enjoy walks with a friend and with my wife, and the trails we walk on are beautiful, and I’m surrounded by trees. Living here gives us amazing access to the natural beauty of the west coast rainforest.

But other than a few walks, the last 5 weeks at home have been almost entirely inside. My outdoor time is spent going from my house to my car, and from my car to work or whatever other destination I was heading to. Other than that, I’m in a building or in my car. I have made one walking trip to our neighbourhood donut shop, in the same way I’d walk to a pastry shop in Spain, and beyond that my travels have all been by car. Even my beautiful walks I go on are destinations I drive to.

I miss the liveability of Barcelona and Madrid. The buzz of people all around. The convenience of small neighbourhood stores, pastry shops, and restaurants. I am fully aware that I was on vacation and that’s different than being here at work full time, and if I had the same job in Spain, I’d spend most of my time indoors. But there is something about living in a city made for walking that I’m drawn to. I want to be able to park my car and leave it behind when I go to pick up groceries. I want to walk to restaurants. I want to walk 10,000+ steps in a day as part of my routine and not just on designated walks 1-2 times a week.

I know it’s more challenging because I live in the suburbs. Yet some of this I can do, if I allow myself the time. Our grocery store is walking distance, as long as I’m not buying too much to carry. I can walk to work if I allot myself 40 minutes each way, and if I don’t have out of school meetings. I could sacrifice the convenience of my car, and walk a bit more, but it will take an effort and time that I’m not sure I’d be willing to give up. It’s much harder to do this in a city designed around roads rather than sidewalks… but I will make more of an effort.

Culture and kids

I was visiting the Philippines back in 2010, my kids were 8 and 10. We went to the beach and immediately they wanted to build sand castles with me. I spent about 25-30 minutes playing then told them I was going to sit with their mom for a bit. I’d had enough. They wanted me to play longer.

Then a family with a mom, dad, and 3 or 4 year old kid came and sat near us. The kid had a shovel and her dad had a spoon, and they started playing in the sand. We stayed on the beach for well over an hour, probably closer to 2 hours and that dad was on his hands and knees or squatting next to his kid playing in the sand the entire time. I think they were speaking Tagalog so I didn’t understand the conversations they weee having, but this dad was engaged with his kid the entire time. During that time, I played with my kids in the sand for another 20-25 minutes.

I remember telling my wife that this guy was making me feel like a crappy dad. I was amazed how his little girl was the center of his attention for so long. It makes me wonder about how our culture and our upbringing influences the raising of our kids?

Visiting Thailand around that same time we stayed for a few days in a resort with tree house rooms near a national forest. The first morning we went to breakfast and there was a makeshift playpen, for a kid who wasn’t quite walking age, near where we ate. When we arrived at the restaurant, the owner was sitting in the playpen with the kid. He left when another worker came to tend to the kid. Then later we saw his wife doing the same thing. We assumed it was their granddaughter. My wife asked if this was the case and we were told no. One of the cook’s mother’s was sick and couldn’t take care of her kid, and so she had to bring her baby to work… they were just all taking shifts when they could so the employee could do her job.

One of the best parts of travel is seeing how some cultures differ from our own, and appreciating that their lifestyles include little things that we can learn from. And I think you can learn a lot about people by watching how they care for their kids, and kids in their community.