Monthly Archives: May 2024

The Reality of the Job

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I just did a meditation that led to a short nap, and now I’m reflecting on my day ‘off’.

There are some jobs that you never have to take home with you. A Starbucks barista doesn’t have to think about their job when they aren’t working. Even when I was a Starbucks manager, there were many days when my shift was over and I didn’t think much about work until I returned for my next shift… although there were times I ended up working much more than an 8 hour day. However, I didn’t enjoy being a Starbucks manager nearly as much as being a teacher or principal of a school… but those are two very different jobs than the ones at Starbucks. The reality of being in education is that you take the job home with you.

I’ve been sick and away from work most of this week. And for a lot of it, I was truly off. A low-grade but persistent headache, flu symptoms and unpleasant coughing kept me from work, both physically and mentally. But it’s hiring time for next year and a couple positions I posted closed last night. And so today I spent most of the day coughing my way through interviews, catching up  on emails, and making some phone calls. I worked a 6+ hour day, despite it being a sick day. That’s the nature of work sometimes. I’m not complaining. I really rested yesterday and feel a lot better (though I sound a lot worse) today. It would have been nice to take today fully off too, but the reality is that some jobs just aren’t like that… and I chose a job that’s just not like that.

It’s pretty awesome being in a job with so many caring and thoughtful people that are dedicated to their jobs. It inspires me and makes days like this, days where I’m off, but not really off, to appreciate the dedication of others who do the same, don’t complain, and do a fantastic job. Whenever I hear someone complain about teachers having it easy, and having summers off, or any talk like that, it usually comes from one of two places: Either it’s from someone who doesn’t take their work home with them, or it’s from someone who does, but also benefits financially from doing so (working towards commission, a bonus, or getting paid overtime). Meanwhile teachers and principals work many extra unpaid hours and even when not well, despite having hundreds of sick days accumulated… And they put time in on weekends marking, and stay after school to prepare lessons, coach, and run events well into the evenings.

It’s the reality of the job, and it’s done for the love of serving others… Even when we aren’t at 100%.

The good news is that my headache has subsided, and I’m on the mend. I’m going to spend my weekend catching up on some shows I’ve neglected and getting a bit more sleep. I need to give myself the time I need to fully recover, to ensure that I stay healthy for the crazy month ahead.

 

Still down for the count

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A cough and low-grade headache are going to keep me home from work for one more day. I’ve noticed that the past few years I seem to get a headache as both a precursor to flu symptoms, and it stays with me while sick. This forces me to have less screen time, and frankly I get quite bored. Even ebooks don’t really work for me because I can’t concentrate on them and keep having to rewind parts.

So, I’m moping at home. The good news is, no matter how much my sinuses bother me, I seem to never lose my appetite and enjoy the taste of food. So, that’s my joy in the day, eating… and a hot tub.

I just hope tonight I can get more sleep because the last few nights have been really broken, and I’m wanting that to improve tonight. So away goes this screen and while I hope to be down for the night, I’m also hoping tomorrow and the weekend will rejuvenate me and get me ready for June… the busiest month of the school year!

Unnecessary conflict

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When expectations of outcomes are different, there is often unnecessary conflict.

When people are faced with unknowns that worry them, there is often unnecessary conflict.

When there is misunderstanding, there is often unnecessary conflict.

When there is disappointment, there is often unnecessary conflict.

When there is disagreement, there is often unnecessary conflict.

Things don’t go as planned, people don’t always see things from the same perspective, goals often vary from person to person. This is just part of life. Conflict is often built up unnecessarily. Conflict is created by seeing things from just one viewpoint.

Conflict is often optional. A choice. A defence mechanism. Not necessarily desired, but brought on from holding a perspective that is biased or fixed.

At times, conflict is also necessary. And in these rare cases it should not be avoided. Running away from a conflict can create a greater conflict later.

But more often than not conflict can be avoided… it is unnecessary. It results not from need but from misunderstanding, or lack of awareness. Seek to understand, not to be right. Ask questions before making statements. Listen with intent to understand, not to defend a viewpoint. And look for common ground rather than reasons to disagree.

Conflict is often optional.

Empty Cup

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The timing was perfect. I was not feeling well and took the day off. Then I saw this later in the day:

There was a bit of work that still had to be done, but I needed this day… and I took it. I think now of all the times I didn’t. I’m not sure I was my best, and it probably showed. We can’t be at our best when our own cup is empty.

Social Battery

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I’m often mistaken as an extrovert. Because I’ve been blogging for about 18 years now, and putting my thoughts and my work ‘out there’, that is often mistaken as being an extrovert. Because I can get up in front of a group of people and do a presentation, I am obviously an extrovert.

But I’m not.

Putting my work ‘out there’ is a solitary thing. I’m writing this in the silence of my house, before 6am, when everyone else here is sleeping. Presenting in front of people makes me a bit nervous, but it also is a solitary act. It’s not a group conversation. Ask me to act a scene out and a freeze. Give me 5 lines to memorize and perform, and I’m a mess.

Social gatherings of more than 6 people are a stressful situation for me. I’d rather sit and chat with one person all day than be in a party with 12 people I know very well. And in bigger groups, or with people I don’t know that well, I’d rather crawl under a rock.

For me, large groups are where my social battery runs out. I get tired, I disengage. I feel the need to isolate myself. I never feel that way when I’m on my own, or in a one-on-one conversation. I’m never bored when I’m by myself.

My battery gets drained when I have to be in large groups for long periods of time, and especially over several days. It’s an introvert’s life for me. My focus is inward, my connections are individual rather than group oriented. And my battery gets charged when I’m having a conversation with one other person, or maybe two, rather than in a group.

I’m often mistaken as an extrovert, and while that’s not a bad thing, it can be hard on my social battery. And after a while I need a bit of solitude in order to recharge. And solitude time doesn’t drain my battery at all… it’s like during that time I’m remaining plugged in, keeping myself fully charged.

Next level DJ

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I was at my niece’s wedding last night. The music was great and we had a wonderful time dancing the night away. No complaints, it was wonderful… but it wasn’t John David Akin AMAZING.

Most people know him as a Global News journalist, but I know him as the best DJ I’ve ever heard in a bar. This was back in the late 1980’s, in Guelph Ontario, and JDA was so well liked that his name would come before the event. It wasn’t the Bullring Halloween Dance, it was John David Akin’s Halloween at the Bullring. He was the draw to the event.

He had this skill of blending and teasing in the next song that was so seamless that you missed it. You’d be dancing to one song, hear a teaser of the next song, and a cheer would come from the dancers. Then you’d hear the tease again, and 10 -20 seconds later you’d be dancing to the new song with zero memory of a transition from the last song. If this happened once, it would be a cool trick, but when it happened over and over again, it felt like magic.

The other thing he did was to masterfully choose 5 songs that kept you on the dance floor. You never went on for one song and then didn’t like the next song. No, you’d hear a song you loved, get on the dance floor and then you were there for a guaranteed 4-5 songs. Then there would be a shift in musical style, a scream from people off the dance floor, and 1/3 to 1/2 of the people on the dance floor and in the seating area and isles would trade places.

This was great for business too. Dance yourself thirsty for several songs then a mass switch to get new people dancing and thirsty while drinks are being ordered by those who just got off the dance floor.

There was no denying the artistry of his work. I was reminded of this last night. The DJ tried to tease and blend, but it was clunky. The transitions were a bit rough. And I’m not even throwing shade at the DJ, I had a great time last night… It’s just when you’ve heard the absolute best, good just isn’t great, and I’m going to notice the difference.

Oh and JDA sang a mean version of Grandmaster Flash’s White Lines. The first time I heard it, I didn’t even know it was him singing until I heard the name of the bar we were in sung in the lyrics. He had many skills, but when it came to teasing and blending songs, John David Akin was the GOAT.

Generation bump

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It’s the first one in our family. My niece, my sister-in-law’s daughter, is getting married today. This is the start of a new chapter for our family. I haven’t been to a wedding in many years, but they will become more frequent in the coming years.

It’s a little surreal to realize that we are now the parent generation. We are the sandwich generation often thinking (and sometimes worrying) about both our parents and our kids. We are the adults. That sounds silly to say, but I’m probably not the only one that questions how I got to this phase of life, how I’m not the kid still trying to figure things out?

New life adventures lay ahead, new firsts in a new chapter of our lives.

Rationalize or Analyze?

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I was at a meeting yesterday morning where some critical feedback was shared by a group of students. I think the feedback was very useful, and there was a lot to gain from the information. I don’t know how it was received by others?

When you get feedback and it isn’t what you are looking for, what’s your first instinct?

Is it to rationalize why the feedback was not ideal? Was it a bad question? A misunderstanding? …An excuse of one kind or another?

Or do you analyze, reflect, and think critically about what the feedback really means?

Rationalization is really easy, but renders the information useless. Analysis can lead to uncomfortable realizations, but may lead to meaningful learning and, more importantly, changes in behaviours or systems.

I think rationalization is an emotional response, it’s a defence mechanism. It’s a way to comfort your ego… but it’s not a way to learn and grow. Honest analysis is not about finger-waving and blame, nor about making excuses. Rather it’s about informing practice and getting better. And in the end, getting better feedback in the future.

Rhyme (and) reason

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Sometimes something happens without rhyme or reason, with no logical reason for it to happen. Other times it is abundantly clear… to some people but not to others. So while an observer can see and make connections between events or experiences, the person in the situation believes there is no rhyme or reason, no connections at all. I witnessed this first hand in a conversation recently.

I was talking to someone who was very upset with the behaviors of another person. Why couldn’t this other person understand how to help themselves? Why did this other person not do what needed to be done? There was much frustration because this other person wouldn’t respond well to feedback. Then the person I was talking to shared a personal struggle, and it was abundantly clear to me that the rhyme and reason for their struggle was identical for them as it was for this other person. The situation was completely different, but the points of struggle were the same.

Isn’t that fascinating how we can see and be frustrated with the challenges we see others struggle with, and yet be blind to how we struggle in similar way? Simultaneously asking ‘Why can’t this other person see what needs to be done’, while being oblivious to the fact that we struggle in the same way in other areas of our own lives. Maybe I’m being unfair in saying they are oblivious? Maybe the frustration they see in themselves is precisely why there is frustration in the other person.

‘I hate seeing this other person struggle, because in this other person I see the thing I least like about myself.’

I saw the rhyme and reason. But that doesn’t mean I handled it well. On the contrary, and upon reflection, I could have navigated the conversation much better. I realize this only after the fact. The person I was talking to knew the other person wouldn’t respond well to feedback because they knew they wouldn’t. When I saw the connection, the parallel relationship, I should have realized the it was the wrong time for me to offer feedback. It wouldn’t be well received… it wasn’t well received. The pattern was there for me to see, but I missed it.

We don’t always see the rhyme and reason for why we do what we do. But maybe it’s easier to see this in other people… maybe we project our own insecurities and frustrations on others because we struggle ourselves. The very reason it bugs us in others is because it bugs us in us. But even knowing this, it hurts to hear it.

Don’t let the rain stop you

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I’m writing this at the edge of Allouette lake in Golden Ears Provincial Park, 8:30 PM Tuesday. I’m here with three teachers and 18 students who will be spending the night in the campground nearby. It’s pouring rain. Actually right now it’s a little on the light side, but it has been continuous and at times quite heavy since we arrived, five hours ago.

It’s starting to get dark and we will be walking back in just a few minutes, but I’ve got a little window of time to dictate this while I stand near the steepest part of the path leading to the lake. Three students didn’t want to come down this section I didn’t want to leave them behind so I’m hovering back as the other students return this way from walking along the shore.

On a miserable day like this it would’ve been easy to cancel the camping trip. The rain has been relentless, but in all honesty it hasn’t dampened spirits. When we get back to the campsite we will roast some marshmallows either on the propane fire or on the open fire pit if we can get one started there.

The message is simple, too often we cancel things because conditions aren’t perfect. We look for excuses when in actual fact it’s just laziness or thinking that because conditions aren’t perfect, the trip might be ruined. In reality, we can make many more opportunities work than we actually take. It just takes a little effort and a small shift in attitude. There were a couple cancellations made by students and/or their parents over the last couple days, and the forecast might have been one of the reasons. Those are the students that lost out. Not a single student here is losing out.

We live on the edge of a rainforest. If we think that rain is a reason to cancel something then we are really missing out on a significant part of the year when we can find joy in the simplest of things.

Camping in the rain might not be as good as camping on a warm, beautiful day, but that doesn’t take away from the opportunity we have regardless of the weather.

Kids are heading back this way now, and so I think I’ll end this right here. I need to be present and enjoy their presence… no matter what the weather looks like.