Monthly Archives: March 2024

Early morning quiet

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Silence is different at different times of day. Early morning quiet is especially unique. Before the sun rises, before most people awake, there is a stillness to the day. Before the planning begins, before the morning routine, the quiet is calm, serene. There is a chill in the air, but it’s crisp rather than cold.

Early morning quiet is not a true silence, even as I write this the furnace is blowing warm air, yet there is a stillness. A single car drives by the window, yet it was in solitude and not in traffic. I can see the empty road it drives on, feel the wait of the nearby traffic light, too long of a wait with no traffic passing the other way.

The early morning quiet is a feeling, it is a solemn emotion more than a lack of sound. It is a moment of solitude, where time seems to slow. It is the stillness of a day not yet discovered.

Habit versus motivation

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It’s so blatantly clear to me now how good habits require less motivation. On any given week day I wake up and I just start my routine: Wordle -> blog post -> mediation -> cardio -> stretch -> strength set -> shower. My habits are stacked, and I just have to start solving the daily Wordle puzzle and the rest of my routine effortlessly falls into place. No thinking, no effort, no motivation needed.

But I do things differently on weekends and here I am at 5:30pm writing my blog post, and I am needing to motivate myself to get anything else done. Motivation is hard. Stacked habits are easy.

Now, I just need to figure out how to stack these things on my weekends, because starting this routine when I should be thinking about dinner sucks.

Alarm set for a bedtime meditation, and off to the treadmill I go.

Missing the big picture

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A couple weeks back I was in a problem solving situation where I was brought in to give some perspective on how one of my programs could assist with a problem at a school. I was an add-on to a conversation that was already happening, and I found it frustrating. I kept having to speak up and give perspective on the big picture and how what seemed like a simple fix was actually something that would have unforeseen consequences. My grandfather used to say, “Don’t put lipstick on a pig,” and that seemed to be the approach. “Let’s make it look like we are addressing the issue, all the while just making an ugly situation seem like it’s not as bad.

Yesterday I was in a meeting and it was completely different. Everyone was thinking big picture. How does this affect students? Staff? Funding? Optics? When a suggestion was brought up, the team of people I was working with took each idea and put it through a big picture lens. When a suggestion was knocked down, there were no egos attached, it was just a change in frame, and the new perspective provided more useful information.

A one hour meeting took over an hour and a half, and afterwards I had another 45 minutes of hammering out one possible solution, which may not be the one we go with. However, even if the idea I suggest isn’t the one we go with, I know the final decision will be one that considers multiple perspectives, and will be a viable solution to the problem we are working on.

What a contrast it is between these two scenarios. In the first case, the focus was on a quick fix, and in the second case the focus was on a sustainable solution. The difference was being with a team of people focused on the big picture rather than just trying to make a problem go away.

It’s a matter of the frame you put around your problem… and when in fix-it mode, the bigger the frame the better.

Message in a bottle

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Write a note, put it in a bottle, cork it, and throw it into the ocean. The tides move the bottle from one shore to another and the message is picked up randomly by a stranger who isn’t expecting the message. An audience of one.

Today, the internet lets us toss our message into a cyber ocean. As I write this, I have an idea of some of the people who will see it, but I also know that it has the potential to be picked up by some random person somewhere far away, opened up and read at random, without me ever knowing where my post, my message in a bottle, landed.

And this might happen today, or even a year or 5 years from now. As long as I pay for my domain and hosting, the message lives in this cyber ocean. Most of what I write will be ‘lost at sea’, just a small message in a bottle surrounded by millions of bottles. But every now and then one of my bottles of information will be picked up. An unknown audience, in an unknown location. Not an audience of one, but rather of one more…

Simple treats

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I don’t snack a lot. When I do, it’s usually chocolate or nuts, or better yet chocolate with nuts. Chocolate almonds are my Kryptonite, a weakness I can’t overcome. If we have a bag of chocolate almonds in the cupboard, I get drawn to them and I end up making several trips to ‘visit them’ in a night. “Last handful,” I repeatedly say to myself on my second and third time to the cupboard.

That said, most days I don’t treat myself. I have dinner and that’s the last food I have for the day. No desert, no treats.

However, every now and again I like to treat myself. I like to indulge in a little snack, or buy myself an apple fritter, or dig into a cinnamon bun. I don’t view it as a reward for anything, it’s not a special occasion, it’s just a simple indulgence.

As long as it’s not chocolate almonds, it’s something I don’t overdo. I think because I don’t do it often, it makes a simple treat seem special.

How do you treat yourself?

How can I add value?

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I have a friend that always asks this question. He would come over for a BBQ, and I’m cooking. The first thing he did was ask, “How can I add value?” Then “Can I get you a beer?” Or, “Is there anything you need?”

It was sincere, it was simple: ‘I’m here, and if you need anything, just let me know. ‘

He wasn’t trying to fix anything, he wasn’t trying to draw attention to himself, he was just trying to be helpful. It’s an endearing quality that is appreciated and valued.

Be helpful. You provide value by offering value.

Movie bias

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My wife and I are watching Griselda, a miniseries on Netflix. I don’t usually watch shows like this. However I occasionally watch a series with my wife, and this is one she started a couple weekends ago… and since it’s only 6 episodes, I decided to join her. I don’t tend to like stories that glorify historical villains. To me this is a movie bias that I’m not a fan of.

If you want to create a fictional story like Breaking Bad, that’s fine. But when it’s Capone, Pablo Escobar, or any other real-life criminal, I usually stay away. I am not a fan of glamorizing and even glorifying people who took the lives of others in the quest for money and power. Griselda reminds me why I’m not a big fan of these shows.

If you want to make a fictional villain, that’s fine. But inventing dialogue for real, unpleasant people is a bit much. And there is always the urge to show an appealing perspective that makes the villian likeable before they do awful things.

Another movie bias is that in the movies you are almost always rooting for the rebellion. Dune, Star Wars, Braveheart, Les Misérables, all the way back to Spartacus, the movies are always about the underdog’s rise. This is more understandable, we all love seeing the unlikely hero with little to no chance of success prevail.

But to me glorifying real life villains goes too far. It’s not just that these characters are built up as bigger than life, it also that no matter how they are portrayed, they are always given a stature of someone who accomplished something to be admired.

I’ve openly shared that I think when someone does a heinous act, like a mass shooting, in the media they should only be recognized as ‘an idiot with a gun’. I continued on this topic and said that media coverage of these events is part of the problem. I think movies and series that highlight real-life thugs are the same. They give bad people recognition and fame that they do not deserve.

I’m happy to root for the rebellious underdog any day. I’m a lot less willing to watch shows that highlight the rise and fall of really nasty people whose only causes are greed and power, because the attention we give them are a form of power, and immortalizing their story is ultimately a win for them.

Fit for life

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I listen to a lot of podcasts about healthy living. It’s amazing how some key topics keep coming up again and again. it’s like there comes a point where collective knowledge just compounds and evidence piles up to support some key ideas. Here are a few things that I have been hearing repeatedly, which all suggest ways to live a long and healthy life. (Not in any order of priority.)

1. Eat more protein. We don’t tend to eat enough, and we tend to eat less as we grow older, but protein is important for both muscle and brain health.

2. Do cardiovascular exercise regularly. At least 5 days a week for the rest of your life. Don’t like to run? Then don’t run! Find something you like to do, spend a minimum of 20 minutes doing it. It doesn’t matter if you like intense cardio, or if you prefer low intensity, what matters is staying active and getting your heart rate up. It’s also important for burning calories, especially if you like food a bit too much.

3. At least once a week get your heart rate up to about 80% of your maximum. This can be done in bursts, like sprinting for 2-3 minutes then slowing down for 2-3 minutes and repeating a few times, or just pushing yourself with a consistently faster pace, or maybe walking on an incline on a treadmill. One thing that really matters for healthy longevity is your maximum VO2 (the max amount of oxygen your body can absorb during exercise). This is maintained and improved primarily by pushing your body past this 80% mark.

4. Do some sort of strength training 2-3 times a week. Constantly remind yourself body that it is not yet in a period of decline. Remind your body that it is a muscle builder. Do this by pushing at least one muscle group completely to fatigue.

5. Take creatine and vitamin D. I’m not a doctor, and you should seek medical advice for supplements, but these are two supplements I feel safe to recommend because they both have tremendous upside and are extensively researched with no downside unless you are an idiot and take extreme doses. Creatine really helps with muscle soreness and seems to have many other upsides too, including for menopausal women. This is not the ‘bodybuilding guy’s supplement’ people think it is, but one everyone can benefit from. Vitamin D is both a vitamin and a hormone used by your immune system. And unless you live in a tropical climate, 90+ percent of the population is low in vitamin D, or at the very most not at the highest levels recommended by health experts.

6. Reduce sugar intake. Our bodies crave sugar. An interesting thing that I heard recently is that this might be something ingrained in us from our monkey heritage. Fruit goes bad, and so when fruit ripens, it’s important to get a lot of it before the fruit rots. Therefore when our ancient ancestors had access to sugars, our bodies made sure to crave more while the supply lasted. Whether that’s true or not, we currently have convenient and continuous access to too much sugar and our cravings for it are unhealthy. I’ll leave you with a simple public service announcement: processed sugars are food for cancer.

7. Stretching and balance are important. It’s not enough to do the same exercise 5 days a week and not work on your overall flexibility and balance. Falls are more common as you get older, and stiff joints don’t help. Breaking a hip vastly shortens life expectancy. Keep nimble, and do things that challenge both flexibility and balance.

8. Self image is important. If you see yourself as someone who exercises regularly, you don’t have to work to get a workout in. To build a habit of good habits, create identity based habits. I am a person who works out regularly. I stretch as part of my routine. I make healthy eating choices. I enjoy doing things that keep me young.

9. Meditate. Find time for gratitude and awareness. Find time to focus on your breathing.

10. This one hasn’t been in on the health podcasts, but it’s a great place to end: Seek laughter. Find joy. Spend quality time with friends and family. Explore new ideas, and keep learning. If you are not finding ways to appreciate the life you have, you aren’t adding value to the life you are trying to extend.

Doctor’s visit

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I recently went to the doctor to request bloodwork. It had been a few years since my last one. The results were not great. With high cholesterol being a hereditary issue on both sides of my family histories, my results show concerning levels of LDL (bad) cholesterol. Levels weren’t great last time, and they are worse now.

I’m going to change my diet, but I’ve also booked an appointment with my doctor and I’m probably going to go on statins… A decision for my doctor to make, not me. The reality is that bad cholesterol is a silent killer because you don’t feel buildup of plaque and fatty deposits in your blood and so a medical emergency can be the first hint of how bad things are. That’s why things like blood tests are so important. That’s one of many reasons why doctor visits are important.

I work hard to stay fit and healthy. Obviously my diet could be and should be a bigger part of that equation. But that’s not enough. Another factor is involving health professionals.

My dad wore a “I haven’t seen a doctor in decades” badge of pride. It was stupid. He was not quite 80 and his body was that of an unhealthy 95 year old. About 5 years ago we went to see my uncle, dad’s younger brother, perform in a band at a local pub. When my uncle introduced dad to a friend of his, the friend asked my uncle if my dad was his dad… I’m not exaggerating about the age comparison I just made.

I’m excited about the diagnosis tools of the future. There will be many ways for us to monitor our health and even be preemptively warned of pending issues. But for now, and increasingly as you age, visit your doctor regularly.

Positive Peer Pressure

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I think part of growing up involves being peer pressured into doing something stupid. It doesn’t have to be big and life-altering. It can be as simple as being pressured by friends to ask someone you like out, but you knew all along you were going to face rejection. Or you were pressured to go first off of a giant toboggan ramp you and your friends built on an icy day. The dumbest things I was peer pressured into are not going to make it into a list of things I plan on sharing, so the above examples are going to have to do.

When you get into adulthood peer pressure doesn’t have as strong a hold on you, and so in most cases you really aren’t going to be pressured into doing something stupid, or something you really don’t want to do. But what about things you do want to do? I think here we have amazing opportunities to use peer pressure to our advantage.

A perfect example is that I never would have done 2,000 pushups in February without my buddy Dave challenging me. And we held each other accountable, checking in with progress and reminders. Another great example is a spotter in the gym. Done well, spotting isn’t just about safety, it’s also about encouragement and motivation. I know that I push myself much harder when I’ve got a workout buddy telling me to push one more rep out when I want to just give up and end the set.

We can really use positive peer pressure to our advantage. Want to build a powerful habit? Do it with a friend or have your friends hold you accountable. Want to try something for the first time? A friend or life partner’s encouragement is invaluable. Increase the pressure when things don’t go as well, or there is a slip, and praise the behavior when things are going well.

As a kid, peer pressure is usually something to avoid. But as an adult it’s something to seek out… as long as the outcome is positive.