Monthly Archives: February 2020

New beginnings sprout from the old

This morning I went for a walk with my wife through Mundy Park. There is a 5 kilometre perimeter trail that we like to walk that takes us 50-60 minutes depending on our pace. The trail is well maintained and well used, especially by dog owners. We take the same route every time and it makes for a great uninterrupted time to chat.

I don’t usually take my phone out during the walk but today I did so to take a few pictures of trees growing out of old, larger stumps.

I love the way old stumps and roots become the home to new growth in the forest. Decaying life becomes the fuel and the foundation for new life.

It reminds me that we don’t always have to begin anew. We don’t always have to throw everything out and start fresh. We can build from a foundation we already have, and we can use existing resources to help us. Sometimes when we are looking to make changes, to make things better, we forget the accomplishments that got us where we are now.

It’s still early February, and I know we have a lot of wet and cloud-covered days to go before we can say spring has arrived. But getting outside on a bright and fair-weather day like today, and paying attention to the cycle of life in nature, reminds me that I can look positively ahead to new adventures, while also embracing the the things I hope to change. I can reflect on how these old things are an important part of the journey we all go through. When we bring life to new ideas, we need to respect the foundation of old ideas that we built on.

Advice to a younger me

My youngest daughter turns 18 today. She graduates high school in June.

I’m writing this in the same living room my wife and I sat in before taking her to the hospital for my daughters delivery. The same living where that happened for my older daughter who is now 20. The furniture has changed, our cars have changed, my hairline has changed. Our kids have grown up. I feel relatively the same.

Sure my aches and pains take longer to heal. I have memories that have faded. I see lines in my face that were not there before. I seem to have lost certain memories. But I feel the same. I feel like less time has passed. I feel like two decades have raced by.

Have you ever wondered, if you could go back in time and tell yourself something, what would you say? What would you say to the younger version of you?

I’d say, “Commit both time and attention to things at the same time.”

That’s all. I wouldn’t want to say anything else other than ‘be more present’. Of course this is advice I could and should take now. After all, if the last two decades blinked by, that’s a pretty strong suggestion that the next two might go just as quick, or faster.

The voodoo of being skilled

I’ve been dealing with a pain in my left shoulder that starts in my bicep and spikes into my shoulder when I move it the wrong way. Unfortunately ‘the wrong way’ meant about 80% of anything I wanted to do. Awaiting my physiotherapy appointment has been debilitating as I’m not able to do the simplest of things without feeling like someone is poking my arm with an ice pick.

As serendipity would have it, on Wednesday I had to cancel Thursday’s appointment with my Physio due to a work appointment that I couldn’t switch, but that very morning a friend came by and recommended a Physio that he goes too, and he told me to look him up on my web browser. So, the moment I canceled my schedule-conflicted appointment, I went online and saw that this new Physio had a time slot just after my conflict time and just before my dinner meeting.

This new Physio asked me a lot of questions about my lifestyle and goals for recovery and put me through a series of mobility tests, moving my arm in different directions, sometimes with resistance. Then he told me, ‘it’s one of 3 muscles’ and started me on an exercise regimen, after three of these, he said, “It’s down to one of two muscles, but they both do the same thing, and the treatment is the same.”

He then had me squeeze my fist as tight as I could and punch above my head 10 times slowly. After that he had me move my arm in directions that minutes before would have sent a spike of pain through my arm, but now there was just mild discomfort. He then ran me through 2 specific exercises that will not just help me heal, but will also strengthen the muscle. And he told me to use the punching-the-air-above-my-head move twice a day, and again if I felt any twinge if pain,

“Think of this as pain relief exercise instead of pain relief meditation. I know it looks weird, so you might want to find somewhere private to do it.”

I told him my secretaries were used to weird, and maybe I’d even play some disco music while I punched the air above my head ten times, just to see their reaction. 🤣

The process left me feeling like I had just visited a voodoo doctor. I was expecting 2-3 weeks of progressively less pain, if I was lucky. Instead, I walked out with instant relief and an exercise rather than pill-based pain reliever. It’s amazing not just to watch, but also to experience the skill of a knowledgeable practitioner. This reminds me of a favourite story that I often share:

“There is an old story of a boilermaker who was hired to fix a huge steamship boiler system that was not working well.

After listening to the engineer’s description of the problems and asking a few questions, he went to the boiler room. He looked at the maze of twisting pipes, listened to the thump of the boiler and the hiss of the escaping steam for a few minutes, and felt some pipes with his hands. Then he hummed softly to himself, reached into his overalls and took out a small hammer, and tapped a bright red valve three times. Immediately, the entire system began working perfectly, and the boilermaker went home.

When the steamship owner received a bill for four hundred dollars, he became outraged and complained that the boilermaker had only been in the engine room for fifteen minutes and requested an itemized bill. So the boilermaker sent him a bill that reads as follows:

For tapping the valve, $.50 x 3: $1.50
For knowing where to tap: $398.50
TOTAL: $400.00”

Purposeful Contributions

Yesterday I was part of a meeting with teachers offering a new course this year. Teachers and administrators (principals or vice principals) from each high school were there, and the VP in charge had us go around the table sharing. When it was my turn, I passed it over to one of my teachers who supports this course online. Since she works closely with the Inquiry Hub teacher who teaches the course, and she knows the content of the course better than I do, I knew she would do a better job than me sharing.

The next round, the conversation was more specific about delivery in the schools. When it got to me, I realized that in the context of both the online school and Inquiry Hub, nothing I could share would benefit a school of 1,000+ students, like the other schools that were sharing. So, I passed when it was my turn.

Anyone who has been in a meeting with me knows that I am not afraid to speak up or speak out. I’m happy to share my thoughts, ask a question, or present an idea. But I don’t need to hear my own voice. There was nothing I could have added to the conversation that would have benefited others.

The meeting was excellent. I think everyone left knowing a lot more than when they came, and my online teacher is creating a shared repository for all the teachers to contribute to, and benefit from. I definitely benefited more from listening than talking, and think that I would not have added value by saying more… I would have wasted the time of the group.

Moral of the story: Make positive and purposeful contributions, or shut up and listen.

The Dalai Lama is a bit more eloquent:

When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.

The Dalai Lama

Ad Hominem Attacks on Social Media

Ad hominem (Latin for “to the person”), short for argumentum ad hominem, typically refers to a fallacious argumentative strategy whereby genuine discussion of the topic at hand is avoided by instead attacking the character, motive, or other attribute of the person making the argument, or persons associated with the argument, rather than attacking the substance of the argument itself. (Wikipedia)

It used to be that an ad hominem attack during an argument was a (weak) defensive move, but that is no longer the case… especially on social media. Don’t like someone’s ideas? Attack their character, their physical features, their business acumen, or even their choice of clothing. As for the point they are making, the very thing that was upsetting, this is not dismissed with any points of merit. No, instead it is simply assumed that the opposing view is already a lost argument with no need to fact check or provide counter evidence or opposing rationalization.

I’m not sure when this became so acceptable? It is a weak and counterproductive approach to disagreeing with someone’s ideas, and yet it is pervasive on all social media platforms. While ad hominem attacks used to be used as a poor, defensive response, now it is done as a knee jerk reaction with little thought as to how it undermines any points made in conjunction with it. While ad hominem attacks used to be used by weak people avoiding having to put forth a weak argument, now it is used as fuel to feed the rage that social media can invite. ‘Here is my point, and here is a personal attack I’ll add for good measure.’

Ultimately, here is the problem, an ad hominem attack is literally an argument that preaches only to the converted. It undermines any valuable information or argument that is shared along with the attack. Sure it scores a point with the people who agree with the person on the attack, but it does the opposite with those that disagree, those that the attacker would actually want to convince otherwise. Think that through to its logical conclusion: Ad hominem attacks are great for convincing people who are already agreeable, while angering or being fully dismissed by those that disagree. What does this accomplish?

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Addendum: Sarcasm works the same way, pandering to those who need not be convinced, while being dismissed by those that it would be desirable to influence.

Also, this brings me back to the post: Ideas on a Spectrum.

Time and Attention

We are only ever fully present when we commit both time and attention to the things we value.

However:

  • We struggle with making time for things.
  • We struggle with giving things our full attention.

On a personal note: I don’t get too excited by anticipation. For some people, the excitement of planning something is almost as enjoyable as doing the actual thing. That’s not me. I don’t know how to put a value on this? Sometimes I think I’m missing out, other times I think I enjoy experiences more because I haven’t built it up in my head. But leaving anticipation aside, I know that at times I struggle to be fully present.

Sometimes the moment I arrive somewhere, I’m checking the time to know how long I have… I’m putting the present into a time slot. It seems there’s always another event in my calendar to get to. That’s not committing full attention.

Then on the opposite end is when I have a ton of time. Often when this happens I end up squandering much of that ’empty’ time… time that I wish I had when I’m busy; when my ‘To Do’ list is huge.

My writing changes when I give it both time and attention. This is why I’ve started writing at night. At first I needed my writing to fit into a tight timeline. I’d wake up and know that I had a maximum of 45 minutes to write, then get my meditation and workout in before my workday started. But some days I’d draw a blank and need to dip into my almost-ready drafts to fit everything in.

Now I get most of my writing done in the evening and without that hard timeline, I still usually spend less than 45 minutes writing. I think the freedom of no time constraint allows me to devote my full attention to writing.

I am not sure I’m always able to do this in other areas in my life? It isn’t easy to fully commit both time and attention to whatever we do in the present moment, but when we can do that, it is a rewarding experience. Carpe diem.

How important is it?

How important is your health to you right now? It becomes more important when you feel an ailment.

How important is money to you right now? It becomes more important if you are struggling financially?

How important are your friends to you right now? They become more important when you are in need of one.

There are so many things that we don’t readily recognize as important until there is a deficit pointing out our concern. Food, shelter, affection, love… all things we value/desire/need, and all are taken for granted except for when we notice their absence.

It’s good to be thankful when we have these things. To recognize what’s important to us when we are fortunate. To remind ourselves that we are lucky, appreciating what we have rather than only paying attention when there is a shortage.

How important is it to appreciate the positive people and circumstances that surround you, when things are going in your favour?

And how important is it to be charitable to those who are less fortunate?

Out of the (sports) loop

I love playing sports, and I love going to live sporting events. I don’t follow sports on tv at all. Apparently it’s Super Bowl Sunday today. I heard both the team names but only remember San Francisco. I’m not going to look up the other team, I’ll just let you shake your head wondering how I can be so clueless? 😜

It has its advantages, being sports-fan ignorant: I have more time for other things. It also has its disadvantages: I can be out of the loop when sports conversations come up among friends and colleagues. My wife doesn’t mind, with free reign over the tv at all times.

I’m sure I’ll find out the results, and I’m also sure I’ll see replays of the best commercials, but I will miss out on the collective experience that so many people share.

I sometimes think I live too inside my own head to participate in following sports unless I’m right there in the experience, at the event. I don’t put a value on this as either good or bad, merely an observation about myself.

Is there something that you opt out of that others seem to enjoy? What are your reasons?

My new approach to learning from books

I’ve always been a slow reader, and so the transition to audio has been a refreshing way to consume more books than if I stuck to reading text. Even so the amount of books I can read is very limited, especially when you consider that a typical audio book runs somewhere between 7 and 12 hours of listening. So I was very interested when a colleague told me about Blinkist, a book summarizing service. He shared a link with alternative summarizing services and I ended up getting a competing service called 12 Minutes. The app chose me when a lifetime membership went on sale for less than 2 years on Blinkist.

I tried this out and I didn’t like it much. Although the summaries are short, I found my attention waned. Informational books devoid of the compelling stories and examples couldn’t hold my attention even for 12 minutes. I was disappointed.

But recently my desire to get through more books increased after reading a Tim Ferris blog post that said,

“We don’t have that much time left to read books. Tim Urban’s The Tail End makes this clear. Based on his calculus, he might only read another 300 books before he dies. He and I are roughly the same age, and Tim is a very fast reader.”

I’m older, and a slower reader than both of them. So I thought, let my try again with a different approach. I opened up my iPad to a sketching app, called Paper, and then opened 12 Minutes and saw the feature book was The Lean Startup by Eric Ries. This is the perfect book because I wanted to read it, it was gifted to me by a parent at my school over 3 years ago, and it sits on my shelf unread, not even on my list of books I have have time for in the near future.

Here are the notes I created while listening to The Lean Startup:

It took longer than 12 minutes. I didn’t time it but I’d guess 20-25 minutes with pausing and reminding. However this book is relatively small at only 8 hours and 38 minutes on Audible… and I likely would never have gotten to it.

With this new two-pronged strategy, I was able to stay focused and take a couple useful ideas from the book. I also have some notes I can come back to later. So unlike my audiobooks that I listen to working out and commuting, I will probably use the 12 Minute App in conjunction with a sketching app, and I’ll see if this new approach to learning from books is something I will stick to?