Tag Archives: time

Time and Attention

We are only ever fully present when we commit both time and attention to the things we value.

However:

  • We struggle with making time for things.
  • We struggle with giving things our full attention.

On a personal note: I don’t get too excited by anticipation. For some people, the excitement of planning something is almost as enjoyable as doing the actual thing. That’s not me. I don’t know how to put a value on this? Sometimes I think I’m missing out, other times I think I enjoy experiences more because I haven’t built it up in my head. But leaving anticipation aside, I know that at times I struggle to be fully present.

Sometimes the moment I arrive somewhere, I’m checking the time to know how long I have… I’m putting the present into a time slot. It seems there’s always another event in my calendar to get to. That’s not committing full attention.

Then on the opposite end is when I have a ton of time. Often when this happens I end up squandering much of that ’empty’ time… time that I wish I had when I’m busy; when my ‘To Do’ list is huge.

My writing changes when I give it both time and attention. This is why I’ve started writing at night. At first I needed my writing to fit into a tight timeline. I’d wake up and know that I had a maximum of 45 minutes to write, then get my meditation and workout in before my workday started. But some days I’d draw a blank and need to dip into my almost-ready drafts to fit everything in.

Now I get most of my writing done in the evening and without that hard timeline, I still usually spend less than 45 minutes writing. I think the freedom of no time constraint allows me to devote my full attention to writing.

I am not sure I’m always able to do this in other areas in my life? It isn’t easy to fully commit both time and attention to whatever we do in the present moment, but when we can do that, it is a rewarding experience. Carpe diem.

Connections over time

Last night we connected with friends we haven’t seen in over a decade. The conversation immediately evaporated the years between visits. Our daughters were essentially meeting for the first time with only a vague memory of having ever met before. It didn’t matter, the conversation was rich, and enjoyable. How is it that 10 years can melt away so quickly?

I’ve had similar experiences with friends whom I’ve only connected with online. Then we ‘meet’ and it feels like we are reconnecting, rather than connecting for the first time face-to-face. And after that first meeting, the online connection gets even stronger. The relationships we develop with people seem to create a lasting impression that time does not interfere with.

Friendship is the glue that holds people together across time and space. A bond that holds people together with the effort to connect when geography permits, and that geography is getting less and less restrictive… As we left the restaurant, our friend said in all seriousness, “Australia is just 15 hours away.” I think that distance might be travelled before another decade slips by.

—

I just went back and read ‘A letter to friends‘ that I wrote just over a decade ago as we headed to China, shortly after my last visit with the friends above. Seems I was thinking along the same lines, even back then.

Just one more thing

Where does the drive to continually ‘do more’ come from? I can’t help but wonder what we fail to accomplish because we choose to do so much? When we add something new to our metaphorical plates, do we take the time to ask, ‘what am I going to take off of my plate so that I can add this new thing’?

Are we cogs in a wheel?

Is it our job simply to keep up as best as we can?

https://youtu.be/8NPzLBSBzPI

When layers of bureaucracy are added, our productivity decreases. When obligations increase what happens to innovation? Where does creativity go when a calendar gets filled? When we are asked to do more and more, and we comply and fill our days, what gets lost?

What are we letting go of when we keep doing more?

—–

Here is a a fable from Joe Hyams book, Zen in the Martial Arts



TRY SOFTER

A young boy traveled across Japan to the school of a famous martial artist. When he arrived at the dojo he was given an audience by the sensei.

“What do you wish from me?” the master asked.

“I wish to be your student and become the finest karateka in the land,” the boy replied. “How long must I study?”

“Ten years at least,” the master answered.

“Ten years is a long time,” said the boy. “What if I study twice as hard as all your other students?”

“Twenty years,” replied the master.

“Twenty years! What if I practice day and night with all my effort?”

“Thirty years,” was the master’s reply.

“How is it that each time I say I will work harder, you tell me that it will take longer?” the boy asked.

“The answer is clear. When one eye is fixed upon your destination, there is only one eye left with which to find the Way.”

Related: Less is more. Teach less, learn more.

The fluid nature of time

It will only take a minute, so indulge me and give this a try. Start a stop watch, close your eyes, relax, and without counting in your head, try to stop it after one minute.

How did you do?

We count seconds between lightning and thunder to see if a storm is getting closer, but when else do we keep track of seconds?

Sports teams hold time outs and the play gets stopped. Often in the final minutes and seconds of games like American Football and basketball, these stoppages can make a few seconds take an eternity to play out.

And on the other hand, we roll our eyes and get frustrated when a web page takes 3 seconds to load… forgetting the days of dial-up when a page with a simple image would take 15-45 seconds, and a large file might fail to load after several minutes.

Our relationship to time is changing. We used to hear and even feel the sound of a clock or a watch second-hand ticking. Now a second is an unfelt moment that sweeps by on a stop watch that also measures tenths and hundredths of a second just as easily as seconds.

How does the concept of time differ for people today, when they are never alone and bored? Do kids ever feel bored the way I did, when they are entertained and/or connected to other kids through their phones? On demand friends, on demand videos, on demand games must surely alter their perception of time. Does boredom come faster or slower to someone with such a different experience growing up?

At 52, the years seem to go quicker than they did when I was 26 or 13. Is that because a year of my life now is relatively less of my total life than when I was younger? Or are there external factors influencing my perception?

I’m reminded of this poem:

If you want to know the value of one year, just ask a student who failed a course. 

If you want to know the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. 

If you want to know the value of one hour, ask the lovers waiting to meet. 

If you want to know the value of one minute, ask the person who just missed the bus. 

If you want to know the value of one second, ask the person who just escaped death in a car accident. 

And if you want to know the value of one-hundredth of a second, ask the athlete who won a silver medal in the Olympics. ~ Marc Levy

I understand that our perception of time differs due to our experience. An hour of boredom feels like it lasts considerably longer than an hour socializing with friends. But beyond that does it feel to you, like it does to me, that time moves much more quickly now?

Campfire time

Think of the changes in our world over the past 150 years. Compare that to the changes that would have happened over 150 years, if we were thinking about 1,500 years ago. In other words, think of how insignificant the changes would be then, compared to recent history, if we compared 1500 to 1650AD. Although Galileo’s Science expanded the universe beyond an earth-centric view, his views were hardly ‘universal’, and technological advancements in all the 1500’s would be shadowed in comparison to any decade of the 1900’s.

But when I look at a campfire, time and technology fade away. The flames dance around the wood exactly as it would have danced 1,500, 15,000, and even 150,000 years ago. Ancient man was as mesmerized by the flames as I am today. The desire to stare, to feed the flames, and to stand close enough to feel the heat are likely similar for millions of humans that came before me.

Campfire time is timeless; a bond of humankind through the ages… a chance to connect with our primitive ancestors and see a world that they shared with us.

The spaces in between

It had been a few years since Jerry and I met face to face. I arrived at his house, greeted him with a hug, then went in to say hello to his wife, Sandy.

I met Jerry on the first day of university over 32 years ago, and I was with him at the party where he met Sandy.

Then off Jerry and I went on a fishing trip. The years apart melted away and we had fantastic day together. It wasn’t two distant friends reconnecting, it was two great friends melting away the time in between our opportunities to meet face to face.

Jerry doesn’t ‘do’ social media, and so I don’t connect as often with him as I do with others that are geographically distant. So, it will likely be at least a couple years before we connect again. Some of the stories will be retold, others might be forgotten, but the time together will be treasured, no matter how long the space is in between our visits are.

It’s time…

I tweeted to Bill Ferriter about how time flies, and that we are getting older saying,

Age is 2 things:

1. A state of mind.

2. A state of the body part that aches the most.

I will often say silly things like, “My mind is 31, my body is 51, and my back is 71″… doing a plus/minus of 20 years (which was 10-15 years when I was in my 40’s).

Here’s the point… I’m not getting younger and more than ever, NOW is the best time to start.

I tried over a decade ago, now I’m going to do it – a short daily blog.

It’s time…