Tag Archives: thinking

Work on the brain

It has started. While I’m still not heading into work quite yet, I’ve reached the part of my summer where I am starting to think about and do work. Today I’m not spending a lot of time directly doing anything, other than a little email and some follow up on a request by the ministry for committee representation by fellow BCDLAA members, (I’m currently president and the request came to me late last week). So it’s not like I’m dedicating a huge amount of time. But that doesn’t stop my brain from thinking about work.

I’m thinking about the start up of the school year. I’m wondering if we are going to see some Covid-19 restrictions implemented, with the Delta virus expected to peak in late September or early October. I’m not sure the after-vaccine normalcy we were wanting to see is going to be anything like we expected or hoped for.

I’m thinking about how my online job could dramatically change as new ministry rules come into effect over the next year. Furthermore, like the end of last year, my teachers are going to start the year quite busy, right off the start. Enrolment will be quite high agin this year.

I’m thinking about the culture shift at Inquiry Hub when our biggest cohort of new students is coming in, and we have grade 10’s that have only seen our school in an isolated covid response, and grade 11’s that only saw our school operate normally for half of their grade 9 year. We have much more students that don’t really know our culture than we do students who truly experienced it. This problem creates an opportunity for change, but with very few student role models for that change… and we’ve also had the biggest change in staff we’ve had in years. We really need to think about how we foster our culture, and can’t expect it to be known. This is hard in a very small school.

I won’t pretend some of these things haven’t crept into my thoughts before this week, but I’m definitely thinking more about these things as regular work days approach. It also doesn’t help that I finished my book and have gone back to reading for educational purposes rather than reading a novel… my way of helping with the transition back to school.

When the whole year is ahead of us, this is a time of great potential and opportunity. And while I still have a little bit of holiday left, work is slowly taking up more of my thinking time.

Beyond space and time

Part 1 – Time travel

When people imagine time travel, they often don’t realize that they are also talking about space travel as well.

How Fast Is the Earth Rotating on Its Axis?

The Earth rotates on its axis once each day. Because the circumference of the Earth at the equator is 24,901.55 miles, a spot on the equator rotates at approximately 1,037.5646 miles per hour (1,037.5646 times 24 equals 24,901.55), or 1,669.8 km/h.

At the North Pole (90 degrees north) and South Pole (90 degrees south), the speed is effectively zero because that spot rotates once in 24 hours, at a very, very slow speed. (Source)

In addition to this rotation, the earth is hurling around the sun at 30km (19 miles) per second! And, our sun isn’t stationary in the galaxy, it travels 792,000 km (483,000 miles) per hour (and still takes 230 million years to complete a rotation).

These numbers are mind boggling. Now, going back to the idea of a time machine, if I was able to go back in time to only 5 years ago, the earth that existed back then was millions of kilometres away from where the earth is now. I’d have to travel through time and space.

Part 2 – The light of the stars

When we look at the stars, we only see their history. The closest star, our sun, is not where we see it, it is where the sun was 8 minutes ago, because that’s how long it took the light to reach us. For stars that are light years away, they could already have gone super nova, and wiped out their solar system, and generations later our ancestors will still see that star, not knowing it no longer exists. We are literally looking back in time when we look out into space.

Part 3 – the edge of the universe

A concept I can’t wrap my head around is what’s beyond the edge of the universe? And if you have an answer for me, what’s beyond that? This to me is the definition of infinite… the idea that no matter how far away something is, there has to be something still farther away.

If you had a string that was infinitely long and you cut it in half, you’d have two strings that are infinitely long. Think about that for a while… then try to forget it. 😜

Why should we believe that our universe is the only universe? Could there be multiple universes in the empty void beyond our own? Could our entire universe be an atom in a massive other universe? What secrets do the edge of our universe hold? We will never know because it takes too much time for the light way out there to reach us.

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These are 3 ideas about space and time that peak my curiosity and make me marvel at life, the universe, and everything… while we hurl through space on an insignificant rock around an insignificant sun, in an insignificant galaxy… thinking thoughts that significantly challenge my intellectual understanding.

Cloudy thinking

Yesterday at my archery practice my thoughts were my enemy. I got into a negative flow of thinking that I couldn’t break. It seemed as though every thought I had related to reasons why I would not hit the center of the target. My scores weren’t horrible, but they also weren’t anything close to what I’m capable of. It wasn’t so much the score that bothered me, it was my inability to get out of a negative loop of thinking.

I often wonder what goes through other people’s heads when they think. Are their minds as busy as mine? Do they have a constant internal dialogue that doesn’t shut up? For me, there is always a dialogue going on, and it isn’t always helpful. I sometimes wonder if I have some kind of attention deficit issue, with my mind bouncing from idea to idea.

Sometimes I feel like this is a super power, because I can make lateral connections to things others don’t see. Other times it’s more like a disability, with an inability to truly focus. And still other times (though less common) my thoughts can sink me into a zone of singular focus. This can happen when I’m writing, and I can start to put words on paper, intuitively knowing the beginning, middle, and end, before the world can get from my mind to the page. I love these moments, but they don’t come often.

What comes most often is a busy, somewhat clouded mind that is easily distracted. One that requires constant reminding to stay on task. I’ve figured out how to manage this, how to be effective, even when my mind wants to wander and wonder. But sometimes, like yesterday’s archery practice, I become my own worst enemy. I try to convince myself that I can focus and get away from the negative thoughts, but I can’t. Negative thoughts prevail. Negative internal dialogue persists.

I can get this way with meditation too. I can get so that every attempt to focus on my breath lasts only seconds before I’m fighting off distraction. And then the distractions become the only thing I can think of. These sessions don’t prove to be very meditative. They become 10 minutes of thinking that I need to be better at mediating, rather than actual meditation.

Yesterday, a clouded mind took over my archery practice. I didn’t practice archery, I practiced the art of negative thinking. The art of getting in my own way. The art of distraction. I need to learn a strategy to get my head out of these dark clouds when they come. I need to metaphorically clear the skies, and let the sun shine through… or at least pack an umbrella.

Cycles of energy and interest

This was the first weekend all year that I didn’t shoot arrows. I could have made the time but I didn’t. I’ve also been going through the motions for my workouts, getting my cardio in, but not doing a lot more. I think I need to change things up a bit. I am also finding my daily blog a lot harder to get started each morning, the blank page feels daunting.

I tend to be an even-keeled person who doesn’t hit extreme highs and lows, and so it can be hard to know when I’m feeling low. Often it’s only after I recognize my own lethargy towards the things I enjoy doing that I realize that I’m in a bit of a funk. While there are disadvantages to not feeling the high highs, there are advantages to not feeling the low lows… I can identify where I am and make small adjustments to unstick myself.

I’m going to wake up a bit earlier so I feel less rushed. I’m going to shoot arrows after school 3 times this week. I’m going to give myself a physical challenge that reinvigorates my workouts. I’ve hit a low cycle and I’ve realized it. I’m going to act my way into a new way of thinking, because that’s easier than thinking my way into a new way of acting.

I’m lucky that I’m able to do this, I know many who struggle to do the same, some who simply can’t. They get consumed by anxiety or depression and can not (as opposed to will not) move themselves out of it easily. For those that struggle in this way, we are unhelpful when we tell them to snap out of it, or just to think of something else, or to cheer up.

For them we can be helpful by listening, not judging, by acknowledging, not instructing, and by engaging in active conversations, going for walks, being outside, and being social. We can share our energy and time. I think too often we don’t give people we care about our time.

For me, I need to give myself the time to do things I enjoy… and I need to remind myself that I enjoy these things. It’s like I need a reminder that I get joy out of the things I enjoy. I like shooting arrows, even if my score doesn’t constantly get better. I enjoy writing daily, it’s a positive outlet, not a chore. I enjoy getting my heart rate up and feeling the endorphins of a good quick workout. And I’m blessed that I can cognitively make this shift simply by thinking about it.

And so my workout beckons. I’m going to try my new headphones on my treadmill, then do a light all-around workout keeping my heart rate up the whole time, rather than pushing any one muscle group. And I’ll put my current audio books on hold and listen to some music today.

It’s time to shift into a good cycle, and I’m already on my way simply by writing about it today.

Meditation and a drifting mind

I’ve struggled with my morning meditation recently. My mind drifts and wanders, and I can’t seem to keep my thoughts on my breath for more than 30 seconds. Today was the 3rd day in a row that my mind wandered so much that I could barely call it meditation.

I like the Calm App, and use the 10 minute Daily Calm meditation. It starts with focussing on your breathing and for the last couple minutes there is always a lesson or topic that Tamara Levitt shares. Today’s was on Mudita. However I can’t tell you what that means despite the fact that I’m writing this immediately after meditating. I have no idea what Tamara spoke about? My mind had drifted for the entire lesson.

I know that bringing my focus back to my breath is meditation as much as staying focused. In the past couple years I’ve gotten better at doing this without being angry at myself, and understanding that this is a natural part of meditation. I’ve also started catching myself drift and bringing my thoughts back to my breath before Tamara reminds me. But my past few sessions have all seemed to involve my mind drifting, and me completely forgetting that I’m meditating. Then I catch myself and almost immediately drift again, unaware that I’m doing this. I’m hoping that writing this, and thinking about my intentions to stay focused will help… but I’m also open to suggestions.

Post-it notes everywhere

My sister recently reminded me of how I used to write essays in school. While doing research, I’d write all my ideas down on Post-it notes. Then I’d take these notes and group them into big ideas. Then I’d take the big ideas and put them together into paragraphs.

I never wrote my introductory paragraph until I’d stitched all my Post-its into a cohesive essay body, then I’d decide what my thesis was and write my introduction. Then I’d go back and tweak the essay to fit.

The process looked chaotic, with these sticky paper squares completely surrounding me, sitting on my bedroom floor. Some of them stuck together in groups, others orphaned until I could figure out if I needed them. My dad would laugh at the sight, and make comments about my brain being filled with sticky notes.

Today, when I write on my office whiteboard, I see this come out in a different way. I don’t have Post-its stuck everywhere, but I see ideas stitched together and orphaned thoughts that I want to fit, but don’t. I have neat and tidy final drawings and ideas, and messily scratched words and thoughts that will be erased once I figure out how to expand on them and connect these ideas to the ones I’ve already decided to keep.

In a way, I’ve kept the same system, I just don’t use the post-its. I enjoy big thinking and stitching ideas together. I like making connections between unrelated things. I might have given up the process of writing with Post-it notes, but I haven’t given up on thinking the same way as when I used them. Over the next week, I’m going to pull out my post-its and see if they can’t help me advance my whiteboard thinking that has been stagnating recently.

Let’s see if this helps me… I’ll keep you posted. 😃

Sharing my posts

I had a meeting yesterday morning where we did small breakout sessions, and we discussed a topic that I’ve talked about a few times here on my Daily-Ink. I wanted to share something I wrote, but decided not to. Then we met a second time but it ended up being me and just one other colleague in the room. We continued the conversation and afterwards, I shared a link to one of the pieces I wrote via email. I got a really positive response, and I’m glad I did share it, but I’m always hesitant to do this.

It’s kind of weird, I write every day, and my post is automatically shared to Twitter, LinkedIn, and my Facebook page, so I obviously don’t mind sharing my work publicly. Yet I always feel like sharing my own writing at work is like shameless self-promotion rather than sharing my thoughts. It feels like I’m trying to show off, or that I’m bragging. Sometimes I’ll use my writing as a reference to what I say, but don’t mention the blog post or share the link.

I think that part of the challenge is that on social media people can choose to read or ignore my posts, and there is no price to pay if someone chooses to ignore the post, However, if I share it directly with someone, well then I’m kind of expecting it to be read. I’m forcing it on someone. This is me just thinking ‘out loud’ about this. I don’t think I’ll change my habits. I think I’ll continue to be overly cautious about sharing my writing in conversations with colleagues.

It’s not that I’m shy, it’s that I’m trying to be respectful. I don’t want to push my writing on people. But sometimes I articulate things better in my writing than I do trying to formulate my thoughts on the spot. I’m a slow processor, a slow thinker, and work through things better through writing than speaking.

That said, I can be quite vocal and no one has ever accused me of not participating in a discussion. Maybe that’s part of issue? I am vocal enough, and spreading or sharing my writing is just ‘over the top’. I’ve spent a few years developing my listening skills, and redirecting my thoughts to what’s being said, rather than what I want to say next. This is a skill that needs to be practiced, especially since I tend to be a lateral thinker that sees connections to things rather than seeing a single track of a conversation. So my brain wants to bounce to related things, off topic things, and maybe something I’ve previously written. But is that thing I wrote truly relevant to the conversation, or is it just relevant to me?

I don’t think I’ll share my posts at work any more than I already do after writing this. I think it’s probably a good thing that I hold back, and I’ll continue to do so.

Thinking time and space

The last few weeks have been busy. That is a statement I could probably say at any given point in the school year, but specifically I’ve been task busy recently. What I mean is that my day disappears with me doing what I need to do and not at all what I want to do. I haven’t had much thinking time.

So at the end of last week I started a drawing on my office whiteboard. It a hero’s journey metaphor for our school. I’m not ready to share the drawing yet, ideas are still being put together. But I can share a couple parts I’ve already written about:

Teacher as Compass

And,

Learning and Failure

I’ve probably only spent about an hour and a half over 4 days on this, not too much time… But this time has allowed me to think… It has given my brain permission to go beyond the tasks at hand… It has excited me about the journey ahead.

It’s easy to get caught in the hamster wheel, racing to nowhere, but getting there quickly. It takes intentional effort to step off the wheel and to pause long enough to think, to be creative. My whiteboard has become that space.

Yesterday after lunch, I was working on a section of the board where my secretary could see me making notes and she said, “You are having so much fun on that board.” For about 15-20 minutes I was! I’ve created some thinking time and space in my day. It’s not only time well spent, it’s time that charges my batteries and help me see value in all the other things I must do. It reminds my of why everything else matters, because our personal journey matters… if we make time for it.

Sorry, my brain is full

Since March there have been so many new demands on educators. The path has not been easy. And the new school year has added many more expectations compared to having 70% of the year already completed, when Covid-19 brought with it the new phrase, ‘remote learning’.

How do I do effective group work with students one or two meters apart? How do I do collaborative projects and minimize the sharing of resources? How do I facilitate student-to-student communication when some students are in class and the rest are learning from home? How do I effectively engage students working from home on web conferencing tools. These and many more questions combine to overwhelm educators who are coping with learning on the fly as they navigate a new frontier.

It really isn’t easy.

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Let’s pause here and think about our students:

How does it feel to be new to a country, not know the language, and have to learn, when everything said needs to be translated and most words are not understood?

How does it feel to be introduced to y=mx+b when you struggle with Math, and never really understood how ‘x‘ was a number, and fractions confuse you?

How does it feel to have to learn the krebs cycle when the chemistry and vocabulary is all totally new to you?

How are you supposed to interpret the meaning of a story when every 5th word is either new to you or seems out of context related to the words around it?

How are you supposed to work from home when the home environment is filled with distractions and interruptions that don’t happen at school?

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While educators struggle to learn in new environments and with new tools, let’s pause and think about how hard learning is for some of our kids, who are also learning in new environments and with new tools… and new content they have never seen before.

Monkey brain

I’ve been doing daily meditation for about a year and a half now. Just 10 minutes in the morning. I used to do it right away, but I found that if I wasn’t done my daily write, that’s what my mind would go to. So now I usually write first. Yet even with this order, I struggle to stay focused for just 10 minutes. My monkey brain can’t stay quiet.

I understand that meditation isn’t about thinking about ‘nothing’. I understand that meditation is a process of ‘returning to my breath’, meaning recognizing that my mind has drifted and recentering it on my breathing. I understand that when I notice I’ve drifted, that I should not attach anger or frustration to this, simply notice and refocus.

Yet, I can have days like yesterday where I barely spent 2 out of 10 minutes focussed on my breath and the rest of the time drifting. I’m not sure I was able to focus on my breath for more than 3 breaths before my mind was on something else. I’m realizing that I’m still just a beginner. I’m wondering what I need to do differently?

I’m aware that I need to let go of my expectations, but I’m also someone that wants and expects results. These opposing goals are not very Zen. They don’t help each other. I have so much still to learn or maybe just to understand… just not sure if my monkey brain is ready?