Tag Archives: support

Cognitive overload

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I was tempted to start this by sharing a screenshot of my miserable sleep pattern, as recorded by my new watch. However that feels like I’m somehow bragging about how bad it is, and well, that’s not only nothing to brag about, it’s also not necessary. So just know that above everything else, my sleep cycles have been ‘off’ for a couple weeks.

I’m planning on retiring, I’m trying to document the uniqueness of my job(s) for the next principal. I’m dealing with a second family loss in just over 2 years. A close family member had a scary medical issue this summer that is only now coming to a (thankfully positive) end, and a good friend just started chemotherapy.

Cognitive overload is the term that was shared with me by my counsellor. I dismissed it. That’s not my problem, I’m a high functioning individual, I’ll be fine…

What finally gave? My sleep and my health. And now my ego. Admitting that I pushed too hard has been way too hard. I need to be quicker to listen to my counsellor and to my body.

Im happy to offer advice about the importance of taking care of yourself, but the last to take the same advice myself. The easy excuse this time is that I was in cognitive overload, the honest excuse is that I’m stubborn and believe these kinds of things are what others deal with, not me.

I hope sharing this will help someone else listen to their bodies and the people that support them.

I’ll come out of this just fine, the question is, will I learn from this or just let myself get to overload again?

The hard ask

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Too many people try to go solo when they have a community of support around them. There are more people around you willing to help you than you think. You just need to ask… and that’s the problem. The help isn’t always offered.

The people who can be most helpful would be glad to help if they just knew you needed help. The trick is to make contact and be clear about what you are hoping for.

There’s a difference between: “Do you have time to…?” And, “I really need you to help me right now.”

There’s a difference between: “Hey, just calling to say hi.” And, “I really needed a friend I could talk to right now.”

Too many times in my career, and in my personal life, I only realized after the fact that I could have gotten so much more support to get over a rough patch than I actually got, more than I asked for… only because I didn’t know how to ask, or that I could ask.

Sometimes I’ve thought I’d asked, but it was a soft ask, a sort of ‘help would be nice’ kind of ask rather than an, ‘I really need help’ kind of ask.

I get it, it would be great to have people realize that the soft ask wasn’t just an ask but a need. The thing is, everyone is knee deep in their own stuff and the soft ask can easily be missed. So don’t assume your soft ask is enough.

If you need help be clear, be blunt, and ask. It’s hard to do the hard ask… just do it anyway!

Access to Accessories

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Never let access to accessories be a barrier to using technology. On a shelf in my office I have a small plastic set of drawers with every kind of adapter a teacher or student would need. I also have an extra 3ft and 15ft HDMI cable. I’ve got chargers for laptops and phones. I’ve got a few different dongles. And for my online teachers, I’ve got extra laptops pens, which make marking easier. Your mouse broke? I’ve got you covered.

In all honesty, the overall cost of these items is not exorbitant. Sure, there are a couple small items I’ve purchased that haven’t been used, but most of what I’ve purchased has needed to be replenished at some point. The difference is, that I’ve pre-ordered them and there is zero delay from the time a teacher or student needs an accessory to the time I’m able to provide a replacement, instead of there being a delay of access while I purchase the replacement.

To me this is a low bar, providing access to accessories is an easy hurdle to jump when you’ve already got the accessories waiting when they are needed.

No more manuals

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One of the things I’ve been using Chat GPT & Copilot for has been to save me time looking through device manuals for things I don’t know how to do.

Today’s request, “This is a photo of my washing machine. It has a ‘Clean washer’ option on the dial, but I don’t know the instructions for that. Could you please let me know what they are?”

It was simple enough, I just needed to add bleach, but asking the question rather than flipping through a 40+ page manual with tiny font is just so much better. Recently I’ve also used AI instructions to fine tune the settings on my hot tub. Again, this was so much easier than pulling out the manual.

It’s like having a specialist at your disposal. Soon AI will be the manual. There will be a QR code on the device and when you scan it with your phone it will send you to an intelligent, personified AI manual which will ask you how it can help. Then in conversation, text, & with created-just-in-time video, it will guide you step-by-step.

You know those annoying, ‘Getting Started’ instructions that help you set up things like a remote control? Well AI can help make those instructions both easier and interactive for when things don’t go as smoothly as expected.

We are just a few years away from never having a paper manual shipped with new devices again. Because, there will be an AI agent designed to help you with far more detail and context specific assistance than an analog booklet could ever provide.

A dignified ending

I had a wonderful chat with a family member yesterday. She has a nursing background and is taking a course to become an end-of-life doula. In her words, we spend a lot of time helping to bring someone into this world, but don’t often give enough thought to that kind of support for people leaving this world. She also said something that stuck with me… we are very thoughtful and compassionate about caring for our pets end of life, more so than we are with humans.

When we see a pet suffering, we want to end that suffering. When a family member is suffering, we want them to hang on, to stay strong, and to endure for just a little longer. It makes me wonder, is this love and kindness or selfishness? Are we holding on for their sake or our own?

It’s one thing to want to end a life unnecessarily early, when counselling, support, and opportunities and potential for better days lay ahead… and yet another for someone with a painful and terminal illness. For the latter, there can be opportunities to make the process dignified and maybe even joyful.

In thinking about diseases of the mind, like Alzheimer’s, I wouldn’t want my family having to care for me while I can’t even remember them. If I had terminal cancer and was in pain every day, I would not want to drag out my end of life simply to prolong my daily suffering.

I can see a lot of value in an end-of-life doula to put the inevitable process of dying into perspective. To help provide not just support to a dying person but also to the family they leave behind. The process is not easy, and having kind and thoughtful support at such a stressful time is probably something many people would benefit from.

Hopefully I won’t be needing one any time soon, but it’s nice to know that there are people out there willing to provide caring palliative support to people in the same loving way we would provide end of life care for the animals we love.

Team support

When things are going well, it’s easy to compliment a team. Success and smooth sailing can make a team look good. Everyone is doing the role they should, and ‘results speak for themselves’. But what happens to that team when there is a crisis? How do they react then?

When things go wrong, when challenges arise, what does team support look like then? Does the team start to point fingers and blame others? Do they rally with or against each other? Do they seek advice from their colleagues or do they spew orders, demands, and/or expectations?

If you want to know how good a team is, watch them when things are tough. See how they support one another. Pay attention to how they deal not just with the problem but with each other.

Any team can handle success well, but it takes a very special team to deal with challenging situations in a good way.

Community of Learners

Yesterday we had the incoming Grade 8 class join us for the day. Our Grade 9’s, under teacher supervision, organized the day. We welcomed our nervous, shy Grade 8’s with some icebreakers and a challenge to work in groups to do maximum 3-minute a skit that showed a challenge of working in groups. Then a 1-minute solution.

One example of a skit students came up with was a team worked hard to get a presentation ready and then the day it was due the person responsible for building the PowerPoint was away and didn’t share anything… and hadn’t actually done what they were supposed to do. The solution the students came up with was asking for a one day extension. The other things our teacher and other students suggested as a solution included:

How could they share their knowledge without a PowerPoint? Could they come up with about 5 slides in 10 minutes that would be a good backdrop to their presentation? And going further: What could they do to ensure that this student does more visible work before the presentation next time? And/or what would be a better role for that student next time?

The skits were not judged on how good they were, they were about a team facing a challenge and seeking a solution. They were dissected to learn, as a community, how to work effectively in a community. The skits were humorous, and often included things like dealing with tyrannical teachers with unrealistic actions or expectations. One skit had a teacher that threatened to beat kids up with a ruler. But even in this silly scenario, there were lessons to be learned.

Our Grade 9’s made sure everyone felt welcome. Our teachers made sure students worked together and shared what we expected from learners at our school. And the Grade 8’s moved slowly from nervous visitors to members of our community. After school a few students stuck around for an hour waiting for their parents to join us for our PAC (Parent Advisory Council) pot luck and then AGM Meeting. During that wait, the Grade 8’s mingled with the Grade 9’s that were also waiting, and it was great to see them all in cross-grade groups chatting and laughing.

We will continue the community building in September, and the beautiful thing about hosting a visit like yesterday is that there is already some momentum built. We won’t be starting from scratch, and our new students will start in September excited to reconnect. It’s so much easier to build a positive learning environment when a strong community of learners is established.

On Being Invisible

At our school, when we run a special event the students are in charge of the sound system. My line to them is that their job is to: ‘Be invisible’. The best job they can do is not to be noticed. We notice the sound crew when we hear microphone feedback, or static, or music starts too early, too late, or too loudly. Or someone speaks but the mic is off or too quiet. If none of these hiccups happen, the sound team are not ever in the limelight… and they have done an excellent job.

At a dinner meeting last night a colleague reminded me of a different kind of invisible, and that’s being invisible until it’s important to be seen. The metaphor he used was a referee. A referee should be invisible or not a factor in the game, doing his or her job, making the right calls, and not disrupting the flow of the game. However, there are also times when refs need to be the center of attention. They need to stop the game and make the big call. At this point they are crucial, and the wrong call can be devastating for a team.

They can spend most of the game being somewhat invisible, and going relatively unnoticed, and then suddenly they are front and center, making a key call that could pivot the outcome of the game significantly. A lot of jobs are more like the referee than the sound tech, as long as the person in the job is focussed on wanting to be invisible.

A good teacher or school counsellor can invisibly be doing a fantastic job, handling behavioural or social issues that never reach the office to be dealt with by a principal. These staff members may not get a lot of attention but they are quietly doing an excellent job… and when they ask for help or escalate a situation, the leader knows to step in and support them. Rather than explain the opposite, just know that sometimes situations demand more attention regardless of how good a teacher or school counsellor is, and other times the attention is required because the ‘referee’ is making less than ideal calls.

The point being, it’s ideal in many positions to be invisible, to take care of issues in the background, unseen. But there are also times to make the tough calls and to be in front of the issues and addressing them head on. The magic is in staying invisible most of the time and knowing when to reveal yourself.

How can I add value?

I have a friend that always asks this question. He would come over for a BBQ, and I’m cooking. The first thing he did was ask, “How can I add value?” Then “Can I get you a beer?” Or, “Is there anything you need?”

It was sincere, it was simple: ‘I’m here, and if you need anything, just let me know. ‘

He wasn’t trying to fix anything, he wasn’t trying to draw attention to himself, he was just trying to be helpful. It’s an endearing quality that is appreciated and valued.

Be helpful. You provide value by offering value.

Not so techie

I’ve shared before about how I’m not as tech savvy as most people think. The reality is that I’m just willing to spend a lot of time getting to the bottom of an issue, and so my savviness has more to do with patience than with prowess. That said, I’m getting very frustrated with the technology challenges that seem to be coming my way that I can’t solve. A couple days ago the WordPress App stopped working. I could no longer save anything on it and so I couldn’t write posts on my phone. I deleted and re-installed the app, I tried logging in with my back-up access account, and then I gave up and finally moved to the Jetpack App that I have been begrudgingly avoiding. I didn’t want to make the switch because it forces block editing, which I think is clunky and works against me, rather than helping me with my writing. Now that app won’t work with my blog either. Maybe that’s a good thing because I wanted to write on my laptop rather than phone, so this might be the push that I needed.

Still, this wasn’t my only technology challenge this week or today. My wife is with her parents and her dad can’t access his Shaw mail. It’s an issue on his computer because my wife can access it on her phone and I can access it on my computer, so it has to be an issue with his machine. But the account uses web-based access and I suggested updating Chrome, and then we tried Firefox and while he can log into the account, he can’t click on any of the items in his inbox to read them on either web browser. The fact that I’m trying to give support over Facetime doesn’t make it an easier. I have Teamviewer (to take over a computer remotely) on my mother-in-law’s computer, but not on my father-in-laws, and while I’ll set that up soon, I didn’t feel like doing that for what I thought was a minor issue, and with my wife there, the support itself went fast, even if we couldn’t figure out the issue.

So here is my little rant, why does it seem that there are a lot more things breaking rather than working these days? I have to manually share my blog posts on social media because the tools I try to use (and have even paid for) don’t seem to work consistently. My wife gets a new phone and I spend a week updating issues that come up that were not a problem with the old phone. I upload a new plugin (after the issue with the WordPress login – yes I thought about that being an issue already), and it takes an hour to move from the free version to the paid one. I get stuck on a technical issue and google searchers seem less helpful than they used to. I buy a new toaster oven and the extra features make it harder to use and less convenient than the old one. I can’t decide if I’m getting old and curmudgeonly, or if things are being made less convenient and harder to repair?

In any event, I’m not feeling so techie right now. I seem to be coming across issues that are too hard for me to fix, and my patience is thinning. Cue the memes about old people not understanding technology… I hope that’s not me despite my little rant.