Tag Archives: perspective

Blind spot

I saw a Neil deGrasse Tyson video where he described our galaxy as thinner than a pancake. He said it is more like a crepe. Our galaxy is more than 100 times long as it is wide. One result of this is that it limits our ability to see the universe.

We can’t look beyond our galaxy along its length. There are so many stars in our own galaxy that they prevent us from seeing anything beyond it along this thin plane. Essentially our galaxy creates a blind spot for our visible universe.

That doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot to see along this axis. We can look at our closest neighbouring solar systems and explore our own galaxy, we just can’t see beyond our galaxy nearly as well and as clearly as when we view the universe from an angle other than along the plane of our flat crepe galaxy.

It’s interesting because while this flat shape creates a bit of a blind spot for us, it also makes a lot of the universe easier to see, because our galaxy does not get in the way of a lot of the sky. If our universe was more spherical, it would be a greater impairment to the universe beyond. Our blind spot creates an advantage elsewhere.

There is a metaphor there for our own personal blind spots. Blind spots might limit what we see in some areas, but how do they allow us to see more in others? We observe our world from eye level. We can learn more about our surroundings by seeing a bird’s eye view, but it wouldn’t be an advantage for us if that was the only view we had.

We all have blind spots, I just wonder what insightful perspectives they give us compared to if we didn’t have them?

It’s about the nuances

Today I ran into a teacher that was a favourite of my two daughters. He brought up a current geopolitical issue that I won’t discuss here, because there is too much nuance and I’m not prepared to write a dissertation of my thoughts… and anything else will only cause me grief. In fact, even a dissertation would cause me grief because I’d be bound to garnish disagreement and even anger. Why? Because no matter what position I hold, no matter how nuanced or not, it will upset people.

We’ve reached an impasse in public conversation when nuance is not part of the conversation. Everything is black & white, and any shade of grey is ‘othered’ to the opposing view. This is unhealthy. Very unhealthy.

It took my conversation today, where we agreed yet were equally reserved, to realize that a more public conversation can’t happen for me. I’m not knowledgeable enough. I haven’t done the hard work to have a strong and well defended view of a sensitive issue. I ask questions that could and would piss off people on either side of the issue.

I’ve said before,

“We want to live, thrive, and love in a pluralistic society. We just need to recognize that in such a society we must be tolerant and accepting of opposing views, unaccepting of hateful and hurtful acts, and smart enough to understand the difference.”

I don’t believe that distinction is being made right now. I don’t see an openness to nuance. I don’t see a way forward where we are moving in the right direction. An upcoming election in the US coupled with AI generated fake news, and the bi-polar positions on the left and right, are going to lead to a shitstorm. It’s going to get ugly, it might get violent, and it will not get better until it gets worse.

We need to find a way to bring back nuanced debate and conversation… where different opinions are met with interest not scorn, with acceptance not ridicule. Discourse can be had without anger, and nuanced opinions will lead to solutions where now we only find conflict.

Here comes the rain

Living in the Vancouver Lower Mainland, I miss the rainy season in Barbados. When the rainy season hits on this tropical island, it meant a morning rainstorm with water droplets the size of coins soaking you in seconds, followed by the cloud cover passing you and the rain stopping almost instantly. After that there was 20-30 minutes of uncomfortable humidity as the hot sun evaporated the rainwater. Maybe this would happen again later, but often it wasn’t until the next day.

Occasionally you’d get a cloudy, cool day that lasted the whole day with intermittent rainfall, but there might only be 5-10 days like that the whole season. Maybe I’m underplaying it, after all I was 9 when I left, but I remember a rainy season I could easily handle.

Today was a reminder that BC rain is nothing like that. I spent over an hour outside in misty rain, putting our above ground pool away. It was damp, and there was a constant drizzle or mist. It was gloomy. There was hardly a time during the day that I could tell you where the sun was due to the heavy cloud cover… And the season is just starting.

The worst two months of weather here are usually November and February. But the gloominess starts now. I’ll make the most of the grey days to come, even heading to and from work in the dark. I’ll continue to take my Vitamin D, and I’ll use my sunlight desk lamp at school. But I have to admit that I’d take the rainy season in Barbados any time over the rainy season in Vancouver.

The blame game

It’s easier to point a finger outward than it is to point it inward.

It’s more comfortable to see the faults in others than to accept the faults of our own.

It’s less work to hold others accountable than to accept responsibility.

Accusations are not as scary as being vulnerable.

It’s simpler to rationalize than it is to be critically introspective.

Accepting responsibility rather than blaming is hard work. Owning your own shit is hard work. Making things right when things have gone wrong is hard work… especially since sometimes right just means better, and no matter what you do, you can’t get back to the way things used to be.

But when you play the blame game nothing gets better. In fact, things usually get worse. Most punishment and discipline is about blame. Being restorative means sharing the responsibility to make things better.

Accepting ownership of your own actions and consequences, that’s when personal growth happens. That’s when we get unstuck. That’s when we begin to create an empowered reality rather than a sense of victimization.

How do we make things better? That’s not always an easy question to ask, and it’s usually very hard to answer. But the answer is never blame.

Through what lens?

There is a saying that, ‘if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail’. We all see the world differently in different circumstances, but the same circumstances don’t always elicit the same reactions. Someone with a metaphorical hammer might see the world as nails… but another person might see the world as filled with fragile material and think the hammer is a tool of destruction. Another person with only a hammer, who sees the world as fragile, might be upset that they only have a hammer and feel helpless and limited.

In a world of hammers, while one person might see nails to be hammered in, another might see value in using the other end of the hammer to pull nails out… to remove them. Same hammer used to different ends (literally and metaphorically).

Moving from hammers to glasses. People really see the world through different coloured lenses. I think this is a good thing, but we shouldn’t be set on just one colour. We shouldn’t fixate on seeing the world in monochrome, but rather change our lenses frequently. A bad situation can be changed simply by changing our lens on the situation.

A traffic jam gives us more time to listen to an audio book. A miscommunication can lead to laughs. A mistake in an order can be a point of frustration or a moment to be gracefully corrected, or even an opportunity to try something new. What lens we choose determines our lived experience.

What saddens me is when people get stuck seeing the world through narrow, gloomy lenses. People victimize themselves, they see harm where no harm was intended. They feel the world is out to get them. They see the world through a lens of malice, hurt, and negative intent. They don’t see themselves as having a hammer, they see themselves as being nails. This isn’t a healthy way to live.

Still others get stuck seeing their past through just one lens. Trauma will do that to people. Recovery from an addiction becomes a lifelong battle, not something concurred, or replaced with new meaning. A moment in the past can define someone’s lenses in the future… limiting their future perspective.

How do we give ourselves more choice? How do we find more tools than just a hammer, and how do we see the world as not just nails? How do we change our lenses? Isn’t it interesting that we wear glasses to fix our focus, but not what we focus on… pick a good lens.

View points

The saying goes:

“There are many paths to the top of a mountain, but the view from the summit is the same.”

However in reality it’s the journey that matters. Everyone can see the same things from the peak, but what was the path there? How enjoyable was it?

How many view points did you stop at?

That’s a question from two points of view, each with a very different perspective.

I think therefore…

I think therefore I… reflect, plan, worry, and I delude myself. I think therefore… I am not. I am not existing in the moment when I’m not thinking in the moment. Instead I am creating an illusion of what was or what will be. This is not the counter argument to René Descartes’ “I think therefore I am”. It is a commentary on what we actually think about. Thinking about the past and future does not negate our existence, but thinking about anything other than the present moment is more about existing than living.

This is why there is so much appeal to exhilarating experiences. It’s hard to worry about anything more than the present moment when we are skydiving, bungee jumping, river rafting, rock climbing, dancing, playing music, having sex, or even playing a competitive sport. These moments demand our moment-to-moment presence, they give us the ‘I am’ experience of being the thinker.

But more often than not we are thinkers thinking about moments other than now, and thus not fully living. It’s a useful exercise to meditate, to take a moment to be singularly aware of the moment. To be present in the present. Here. Now. There is irony in the fact that not thinking and just being is to be more present, more in the ‘I am’ state, than when in a thinking state. I think therefore I am… distracted. Whereas when I focus on my current experience and I am in the present, then I am here, and I am now. I am truly living.

A matter of perspective

Dogs smell things that we can’t. Cats see better in the dark. Time passes more slowly for flies. Many animals have faster reaction times than us. And on top of that, our eyes lie to us, filling in blind spots and colour. And then there is our minds… Our learned habits and expectations… Our patience or lack of patience. Our demeanour, and our tolerance for errors, cleanliness, and even each other.

All these things suggest that the world we see is unique just to us. Us as a species as well as us as individuals. I look outside and I see a plant with yellow leaves, someone else sees that the leaves have some green in them too. Still another person can name the plant, and someone else is more concerned that it need watering or pruning. In every case it’s the same plant.

There are so many things I’ve been dealing with recently where perspectives are completely different. I can see this from perspective, but I’m finding it challenging helping others to do the same. Sometimes this is because I lack the skill to do so. Sometimes people aren’t willing to consider other perspectives. And sometimes it’s a combination of these two things.

I often wonder, what am I missing? What am I not seeing? How can I share what I do see meaningfully? How can I better understand the differing perspectives? How can I illuminate an issue so that differing perspectives come a bit more together?

These are not easily answered questions. Or at least that’s my perspective… which I might need to change. 😀

Now, not waiting…

I was reflecting on retirement yesterday, and then today I listened to a podcast that mentioned we only live for about 4,000 weeks. We are lucky when it’s more, and when I consider that I’ve passed 2,800 weeks, it makes me appreciate all of the time I have left. This isn’t sad, it’s factual. And the fact is that every week, every day matters.

We’ve all had those weeks that fly by feeling like we’ve done no more than what needed to be done: Eat, sleep, work, repeat… with a few distractions along the way. And we’ve all had weeks that have felt special, even when the regular routine was all that was really done. What’s the difference?

Good conversations, acts of kindness, a delicious meal, a hug, a good laugh, or even a quiet moment of contemplation can help make an ordinary week a little more special. It would have been easy to use the word extraordinary rather than special, but that would be dishonest.

The reality is that it’s hard to live a life where every week is extraordinary. That said, it can be too easy to live a life where weeks just disappear, one less week to live, then another, then another. Every week doesn’t have to be exceptional, just well lived… well lived, not poorly wasted.

It’s fun to plan ahead for the future, but the time to enjoy life is now! Because we really don’t know how many weeks we have left, and so each week we do have is precious.

Getting unstuck

I remember teaching Grade 6/7’s about Nigerian fables. One of them was about a greedy animal during hard times. All the animals had collected food and stored it in a clearing to share, but each night some of the food went missing. To catch the culprit they put tar around the food and the thief got caught in it. The next day after an apology the other animals started trying to pull the animal out. He was extremely stuck and they yanked so hard that they stretched this animal and ripped of its legs.

The fable is about not being greedy, but the title is something like, “How snakes came to be.” I love when the moral is not explicit in the storytelling.

I got thinking about this for a totally different reason, one I’m far more explicit about in my title… the idea of getting unstuck. Sometimes we absolutely have to step out of our current experience in order to see what’s possible beyond where we currently are.

The saying, ‘No matter where you go, there you are,’ has come up a few times recently in conversation. This is only true if you let it happen, if you stay inside of the tiny box you put around yourself. There are people who travel all around the world and they look forward to seeing a Macdonald’s, Burger King, or Starbucks. They look to keep their world the same. But travel can give you so much more than that. There are people who keep friends that aren’t nice to them, who dismiss an entire genre of music, who stick to a plan and never take side adventures. None of these people might see themselves as stuck but they are.

For me personally, I’ve been stuck in pain and/or drowsiness for a couple months and while I’m slowly recovering, I am also stuck in the way my days go. I’m not following any healthy routines to consistently workout or meditate. I can still ride a stationary bicycle without causing any harm to the bulged disc in my neck. Meditation would actually be great right now and I’ve let my daily habit slip.

I’m going through slow (admittedly often dizzy) motions of the day waiting for moments of clarity, but when they come I don’t necessarily take advantage of them. I need to see beyond my current condition. I need to see what I what to accomplish in the future and I need to do things now to support that. I need first to have goals that I want to achieve beyond where I am now, then I need to move towards those goals.

Sometimes it only takes baby steps, sometimes it takes a massive leap. But you don’t get unstuck thinking ‘No matter where you go, there you are’. The issue with this is not about geography, it’s about moving who you are to who you want to be.