Tag Archives: perspective

Going beyond ‘Reconnect, Reminisce, and Repeat’.

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I got away with a buddy to go fishing for a couple hours on Wednesday. It was part of a bigger day together, and we didn’t fish for long, or catch anything. But we connected and had an adventurous day. Good food, good company, and good scouting for a future fishing trip.

It’s one of the things he and I talk about, which is the idea of connecting for experiences. When you don’t see a good friend regularly, it might be easy to ‘pick back up where you left off’ and feel connected. But it can also feel like that’s all you do… Reconnect, reminisce, and repeat.

We didn’t plan a whole day of fishing, we took advantage of the resources and time available to us and made the most of it with a new experience. We didn’t just talk about the things we’ve done or hope to do, we had an excursion. Too often we think planing and organizing needs to be a drawn out part of connecting, with an event planned on some distant future date.

Last night another buddy texted to see what I was up to and just over an hour later I was sitting on his balcony. Then we walked to a delicious dinner. This was so refreshing compared to, “What are you doing next week Friday?”

Plans don’t need to be big, and novelty and newness make for great experiences. Also, last minute plans can be so much more fun than the bigger, much more planned events can be. Novelty keeps the experiences new enough that they become the things we talk about years from now.

Visually acclimatized

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I’m sitting in my basement and on the floor in front of me is a framed painting that should be on the wall. It’s one of a pair that used to side-by-side, but they need a couple Velcro strips to get them aligned. Unfortunately the strip unstuck from the one that’s currently on the floor, and I removed it because it looked way too crooked on the wall.

It’s an easy fix, but I haven’t done it yet. It’s interesting that although I’m downstairs a lot, before looking at the painting on the floor just now, I’ve barely noticed the fact that it’s on the floor and missing from next to the matching frame on the wall.

How many things are like that for us? Items sitting inconspicuously in the absolutely wrong spot but we are visually acclimatized to where they sit? We go about our day ignoring the fact that items have a new home in a location they shouldn’t have?

I wonder if that’s the same for our brains and the way we think about things?

Planning an adventure

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A friend was talking about an upcoming trip and the enthusiasm and excitement he shared was contagious. It got me thinking about how differently I think of trip planning. For him it is literally part of the adventure. For me, it often feels like work.

This was insightful. I’ve got it all backwards. For me the excitement comes when I arrive at the destination. For him the adventure begins long before that. I’m missing out, a simple shift in perspective would give me far more joy. The journey begins with planning.

A good day

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Sometimes a day just comes together. Today was one of those days. Good friends, family time, good food. And good moments of solitude.

No big exciting highs or solemn lows, just being present with the people around me, and with myself.

A good day.

Room with a view

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I am not someone who gets tired of looking at a beautiful view. If I ever move out of my current home, the view will be a priority. Ideally I would have a view of the ocean.

Large vistas and the open ocean speak to me. I feel energized by them, and yet calmed by them. I can hear the silence of the openness, I can feel the emptiness of the space.

If I can’t find an affordable a place with a view, I guess I’ll just have to prioritize this on my holidays.

A little perspective

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Sometimes things don’t go as planned. You think everything is trucking along and life surprises you. Humbles you.

It’s a good reminder to appreciate what you have. We complain about the simplest of things. We don’t take the time to say, ‘thank you’. We focus on the negative instead of all the positives.

Meanwhile there is so much to appreciate and value. And this is what we should focus on.

Work lurks

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I have gotten a lot better at leaving work at work over the last few years. I’d happily stay at work some days past 5:30 or 6pm, knowing that when I go home I can let things go until I arrive back at work the next day. That never used to be the case. I used to regularly respond to emails and continue to work well into the night.

What started to change this for me was my Vampire Rule for Email that I started for my staff, essentially never contacting them for anything work related after 6pm (unless like if I was a vampire, they invited me in… If they emailed me a question for example). After doing this for a few years, I realized I deserved the same courtesy. So, I’d stay at work a bit longer, knowing that if I was caught up enough on important matters, everything else could wait until the next day.

It’s a little different in the summer, when I’m off for so long. Today I looked at my growing unread emails, and realized there are a few things I need to deal with. Today I did a few quick ones, but I’ve got a few that need a more thoughtful or time consuming responses. Now it’s in my head and I know that if I don’t deal with them tomorrow, I’m going to spend some mental energy thinking about the fact that I need to respond.

Essentially, I either deal with it quickly, or work just lurks in my brain rent free, with niggling reminders that there is stuff I need to do. Because I don’t have an official work day coming up anytime soon, the idea that there is work on my plate stays on my plate and on my mind until I get it done. My choices are get it done tomorrow morning or think about it the whole weekend.

I’m definitely better at letting go and having mental breaks during the school year, but on holidays I still need to do these mental gymnastics to keep work from lurking in my mind when I should be enjoying my break.

We don’t need more inputs

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I heard a quote on a podcast today and I really felt it: The podcast is Jimmy Carr on Chris Willamson’s Modern Wisdom:

“The answers you’re looking for is in the silence you’re avoiding. You need fewer inputs, not more.”

How often do we seek answers externally when what we should be doing is looking inward?

Hindsight is 10/20

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When we look back at things in our past, we really don’t see things 20/20. There is no perfect memory, no perfect reflection on things long past. We don’t have 20/20 hindsight vision, it’s more like 10/20.

You remember that amazing moment that you cherish? …You probably don’t remember the struggle to get you there.

You remember that infuriating exchange with someone? …You probably don’t remember the insight you gained, or how you changed your behavior for the better afterwards.

We recall special memories, (hopefully far more good ones than bad ones)… the stories we tell and retell with nostalgia, held up as if they are 100% true. Perfect reflections of what actually happened. But each of these memories are tempered with emotions that require our memories to fit the story we want to tell.

Our we making them up? Yes and no. No we aren’t fabricating them with an intent to misconstrue what actually happened. But yes, we are making them up because we are only choosing to tell the part of the story that fits the narrative.

Hindsight is far from perfect. It’s just us highlighting the parts of our lives that give us meaning and purpose. If it was 20/20 we wouldn’t hold on to the memories the way we do. We need to cloud our vision of past events to make them worth keeping.

Time warp

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It’s hard to believe that we are at the end of the school year. As I reflect back the year seems to be a blur.

The older I get the greater time warps. Looking forward, future events can seem so far away, then looking back the same amount of time can seem like it was just yesterday. A week to wait for something can seem like forever, yet a month can fly by… even if that month included a week that felt like forever.

I often wonder if our brains get affected by our age, not just from a metabolic standpoint but from our perspective. To a 10 year old 5 years is half of a lifetime. To a 50 year old it’s just 10%. So now that I’m in my late 50’s, a year can fly by as a somewhat insignificant amount of time.

It just reminds me to appreciate each day. To find in each day a moment worth remembering, with reflecting on. Or at least a moment worth enjoying. Take away these moments and the days, weeks, and even years slip by… almost unnoticed.

We live in time warps, where the perception of time fluctuates. If we don’t want time to disappear on us, it’s up to us to spend time wisely, and meaningfully.

We need to create moments, not seize them, but rather savour them, find joy in them, and cherish them.