Tag Archives: habits

Is it just me?

How different things are now than they were just 3 months ago!

You would think by now I would have figured out some good routines but I really haven’t. I feel caught up at work, then not two days later I feel swamped. I have a morning ritual I follow, then suddenly my whole routine feels up-side-down. I eat well and take care of myself, then I binge on junk and miss a workout.

I work best when I am a creature of habit, when I follow set routines and focus on the task at hand. But right now I can’t find a rhythm. I set things up and follow the plan for 2-3 days then I’m doing something completely different. My systems are temporary. My plans are not realized. I set a goal, then I do tons of things related to that goal, but somehow avoid the work that needs to be done to meet that goal.

It’s not like I’m falling apart. It isn’t that I’m overwhelmed and struggling. On the contrary, things are going well right now in many ways… it’s just that my routines are out of sync. My habits are an effort.  Is it just me, or are others feeling like they just can’t get into a good groove?

Fit, not fit for 52

I’m not behind where I should be or need to be. I don’t have someone I should be comparing myself to, other then me yesterday and me before that.

I don’t need to feel behind, feel I’m not where I should be, feel I’ll never be fit enough.

I’m fit, not just fit for 52.

I need to feel that I’m committed to getting better. I need to feel that incremental improvements are not just good enough, they are my goal. I need to feel good about where I am now, and where I’m going.

I don’t have a marathon to run, I’m not getting on a court, a playing field, and I’m definitely not entering a ring. I am taking care of a back that aches daily, and needs me to stay limber. I am working on my recovery from a knee injury. I am becoming stronger, fitter, and I’m working on my core to help me age gracefully. I am snacking less, eating more healthy, and taking vitamin supplements that my body needs.

It’s important to have goals. It’s important to care for my future self. But it’s important not to be too hard on my current self about all the ways I could and should be in a better place than I am now.

I don’t need my age, my current abilities and deficits, or somebody else’s progress compared to me to change how I feel about myself right now.

Putting unrealistic expectations on myself doesn’t make the journey enjoyable. I’m fit today. I plan to stay fit. But if I’m realistic I also need to recognize that the fittest me at 72 won’t be as fit as I am now at 52. So while taking care of myself and making small improvements is my current goal, maintainance and healthy living is the ultimate target.

Yes, age is just a construct, but aging is inevitable. The alternative really sucks. Think about it, we aren’t on a journey to any finish line, it’s the journey itself that matters.

Look up

It’s a long weekend, and I’m thankful for the extra day. As I summarized in a Twitter reply to someone yesterday, “On the ‘blah’ scale of 1-10, I’ve been a solid 9 all weekend.“. I ended the day yesterday passed out on the couch with my workout clothes on, and no workout started.

I feel cooped up, motivation is low, and I have had no desire to work, watch TV, listen to my book, exercise, or do a host of things that I’ve put on my home ‘to do’ list.

But today is a new day. The sun is shining. I slept well, I’ve watered the new grass, I’m writing, I’m looking forward to my meditation. I know that my workout will be hard enough to remove the guilt of not working out yesterday. I’ll go for a walk, I’ll knock a couple items off of my to do list, and I have a conversation on Zoom tonight with my grads and their parents that I’m looking forward to.

Sometimes we just need to look up… in more ways than one.

Goals aren’t enough

I very rarely read or listen to a book, or watch a movie more than once. Atomic Habits is a book that I listened to twice. I also subscribe to James Clear‘s 3-2-1 weekly email, one of only 3 weekly email lists that I subscribe to. I listen to James last night on the Sam Harris podcast and stopped long enough to tweet this quote:

“A habit is not a finish line to be crossed, it’s a lifestyle to be lived.” ~ James Clear

My daily writing and meditation, my workout routine, my getting back into podcasting (trying to produce/create creative work)… these are habits I have developed or am developing. They don’t have an end goal. They don’t have a place where I can land and say, ‘Yes! I have arrived!“:

“A habit is not a finish line to be crossed, it’s a lifestyle to be lived.”

This is a time when more than ever we have an opportunity to do things for ourselves. I haven’t found my work schedule to be any less hectic at the moment. I still bring things home and fill my mind with the things I need to accomplish that don’t get done in a day. But I have more time at home to do things I felt I didn’t have time for previously.

It’s a great time to make positive lifestyle changes. It’s also a good time to reflect on what we will keep doing, or change, when things return to (some semblance of) normal.

It’s a Saturday, and after writing this, I’ll meditate. I meditate after writing because when I meditate first, I get stuck thinking about my writing and my mind is too distracted to meditate. So, I reward myself after publicly sharing my writing with 10 minutes of ‘me time’… a simple way to connect two habits and make them easier to do. I’ll work out, and at some point today and I’ll play with making my last podcast with Dave Sands into a video podcast. This is something new that I want to play with. The first video will take a while, since I need to create a reusable intro. But, since I need to interview people from a distance, and Zoom creates a video recording, it seems like a natural progression from sound recordings only… and it’s creative… and it’s fun… and it makes me use my brain in a creative way, unlike Netflix or Crave.

People set goals all the time, but as James Clear says, goals aren’t enough. Every competitive athlete at the Olympics has a goal of winning gold, only one of them will achieve this. But the habits we build into our lives, those become the lifestyle we live, they don’t lead to a finish line target, they lead to a life well lived.

Finding my sea legs

I remember a trip to the Cayman Islands with my dad. We were on the small island of Cayman Brac and we hired a boat to take us to see a shoreline that my dad wanted to explore. The boat wasn’t very big, under 25 feet long, and not designed for anything more than a day trip. The captain was a short, old man with a weathered, leathery face that made him look over 100 years old. He was letting me troll for marlin while we travelled. The waves were choppy, the boat bounced and swayed, and I had to keep my eyes on the horizon to keep from getting sea sick.

At one point I caught a barracuda and after I reeled it up to the boat, I couldn’t get it over the edge of the boat without standing up from my chair. The movement of the boat set me on my ass before I could take two steps towards the stern. The old sea captain put my dad’s hand on the steering wheel and pointed forward. He then walked to me, as sure-footed as if he were a young athlete on a flat track, picked me off the deck and helped me back into the seat. He then took my rod, walked back to the stern and got the fish into the boat. All the while, the boat bounced in the rough seas and this captain casually made tiny little shuffle-step movements with his feet, keeping himself perfectly balanced. This ancient-looking man had sea legs, he was as comfortable with the motion of the sea under his feet as we are on land.

This is my twenty second year as an educator and for the first time in years I feel like I’ve lost my ‘sea legs’. I’m struggling to find my balance. I’ve struggled with work load, and time management, and work-life balance before – I think all committed educators do – but this is different.

I recently discussed with Dave Sands that, “All screen time is not created equal,” but this is where I’m losing my balance. Beyond a daily walk, I’m spending every moment of my time in my school office or at home. During this time, I’m spending a fair bit more time online. When I’m at work, there is a constant flow of video conferences that interrupt any sense of work flow for my other tasks, and so days are very busy, but don’t always feel productive.

My online time at home flows from distraction, to entertainment, to work, to creating and writing, to news, back to work, and then back to news or distraction, with a daily workout thrown in. Recently, I’ve missed workouts, I’ve missed my daily meditation (3 times this month), I’ve spent more time writing (without writing much more than I usually do), and my focus seems scattered.

I need to rework my daily routine during this pandemic. It feels difficult because there is a constant flow of information that keeps shifting what things look like at work. There is also ever-changing news about how our social distancing expectations will change going forward. Metaphorically, the waves keep churning, and I’m struggling to keep my balance on the boat. I don’t have my sea legs. I’m going to rethink and reintroduce some of my routines that have worked for me before, and see if I can steady myself a bit.

I declare a news free day

I need a break. The fact is that I’ve never been a fan of the negativeness of the news. Before the pandemic I rarely watched news on television, now my wife watches the evening news and I join her. I hardly ever searched for daily news articles on my phone, now I check my Flipboard news 2-3 time a day, and I follow the stats of the Coronavirus.

Before this pandemic hit, I used to keep abreast of what’s going on in the world by checking out the trending hashtags on Twitter. Most of these are fun, but if a big world event happened then I could search that hashtag for a link from a reliable source and get caught up.

Today I’m doing none of that. Today I will enjoy a day knowing that the world will get along fine without my attention. Today I will permit myself to be blissfully ignorant to what’s happening beyond my work day and family time.

The news can wait… I’m taking a break.

Ps. Here’s Some Good News that I watched a few days ago… this I could get used to watching regularly, after my break today.

Nothing normal about the new normal

I’ve been camping out at my oldest daughter’s place in Victoria while my wife and other daughter are home. I’ve loved the daily walks we have gone on, and we’ve been watching Prime Video together in the evenings, enjoying ‘Hunters’ – a fictional series about a group of Nazi hunters in the late 70’s. These two activities add up to about 3 hours of my day… The rest of it has been a blur. Recovering from a broken knee and a shoulder injury has left me feeling very limited about what I can do for exercise besides go for long walks, with a cane, which just makes me feel old.

I’ve taken some more time to write than I normally do. I’ve spent way too much time following the news and stats of the Coronavirus, and I’ve more than doubled my social media time on my phone. I’ve also been thinking a lot about work and have had a number of emails and calls related to “continuity of educational opportunities” that will continue, even with our schools closed to students. Like most people, I have more questions than answers.

What this all adds up to is a very unusual schedule, where I have no idea what normal feels like? Today I slept in. I usually write this before 6am, and right now it’s after 1pm. The only thing on my agenda after this is a walk on my own, listening to my audio book, and a walk with my daughter around sunset. I don’t have the motivation to do more, and yet I’m already getting restless and know that I have to give myself some projects to work on. I’ve got a neglected newsletter and podcast that I might bring back. I might do some writing beyond this daily-ink. I might nap.

No matter how I look at things right now, there is nothing normal about what my day will look like until March break ends. Even then I don’t think I will have any kind of normalcy to my life… but the ‘normal’ of the past few days has to change soon because I’ve never really done ‘nothing much’ well as a major pastime. The new normal after the March break is still filled with unknowns and will include a drastically different schedule than before this global pandemic changed all of our lives.

What have you been doing to spend time well during this social distancing experience?

daily-ink-weekend-ideas

Be the designer of your world and not merely a consumer of it

I love this quote by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits. While I’m not big on platitudes, I think this invites more thought and conversation:

“Be the designer of your world and not merely a consumer of it.” ~ James Clear

How many times in a day are we faced with a decision where we passively acquiesce and do what is expected or what is easy rather than taking control and making a choice? The potato chips are easy to grab; The second last attempt on the last set of a workout suddenly becomes the last attempt; The rude person at work says something inappropriate, but you let it slide; The student who knows the answer but doesn’t raise their hand; The 5 minute check of social media becomes 25 minutes of scrolling; the ‘Next Episode’ counts down on Netflix and you let it start.

How many moments are there in a day that can be chosen rather than consumed ‘as usual’? We are the designers of our lives… or at least we should be.

Fix the inputs

“We think we need to change the results, but the results are not the problem.When you solve problems at the results level, you only solve them temporarily. In order to improve for good you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.

You do not rise to the level of your goals, your fall to the levels of your systems.”

~ James Clear, Atomic Habits

I’m re-listening to Atomic Habits, and this time I’m bookmarking sections and taking notes.

Relating this idea of, “Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves,” to students and schools, I think we often focus on the outputs. A simple example is homework incompletion: A student doesn’t do the homework, what do you do? Make them do the homework they missed.

On the surface this is a good idea. The best consequence for not doing the work is doing the work. But when this issue is chronic, and the teacher is constantly making the same student do the work after the fact, then that teacher is dealing with the output constantly, when the issue is the input. Why isn’t the homework getting done in the first place?

Maybe the student is overloaded with activities or a work schedule that doesn’t allow much time for homework.

Maybe the homework isn’t seen as helpful to the student.

Maybe the student doesn’t see the value in the homework, and thinks it’s not helpful.

Maybe the student prefers to do the homework after it’s due because they know they can sit with the teacher and get help, which they don’t get at home.

Maybe the student lacks the habits that makes homework achievable. Especially when they get unlimited time to play video games at home. Maybe the structure of being forced to do it later is the only structure they have in place to get the work done.

Maybe the teacher is giving that student too much homework and it takes too long to do.

Maybe there is a totally different reason. But here is the thing, if the homework is chronically late, chasing the student to do the work later isn’t solving the problem, it’s just trying to fix a problem with the results that you are getting.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals, your fall to the levels of your systems.”

On a personal note, I’m working on systems at work to stay focused on a single task rather than being distracted by trying to do too many things at once. This is challenging in an environment with constant distractions and a multitude of priorities – both my own and from others. I’ll share more on this later, but for now, the thing that I’m realizing is that it’s the inputs I need to work on. The systems I put in place set me up for good results or leave me chasing results when I don’t have those systems working for me.

Slowly by slowly

In an email correspondence, my cousin, Lee, reminded me of a post I wrote in China, Slowly by Slowly. In the post, I quoted Rob Giebitz who “first heard this phrase from our Chinese production manager“. Rob went on to say:

“Those odd sounding phrases that often amuse the native English speaker, those Chinglish phrases, may offer a key to understanding our host culture. “Slowly by slowly” may carry some meaning absent from the more familiar “little by little” or “step by step” that a native English speaker would use. “Little” indicates size or quantity, “step” implies distance; “slowly” brings our attention to the element of time.”

As I mentioned Tuesday, I broke my patella. I got in to see an orthopaedic surgeon and he gave me good news. Luckily, the break was the ‘right way’ (vertically on the bone) and I can start putting weight on my leg right away. It’s still very swollen, sore, and stiff, but it could have been a lot worse.

So now comes a 4-6 week recovery. It will go slowly by slowly. This will be tough. I’ve been doing 5 or more cardio workouts a week since the start of the year, but now I can’t run or ride for a while. I’m also still doing Physio exercises to strengthen an injured shoulder that’s recovering well. So, I have to be careful with upper body workouts too.

What will my fitness regimen look like? I’m not sure? I was too achy this morning and still want to get into work today, so icing and elevating is my workout after an unsettled sleep. But I’ll be up early tomorrow, I’ll hobble down the stairs and figure it out. Sometimes we have to accept that slowly by slowly is the best approach, and save the sprints for another time.