Tag Archives: habits

Goals aren’t enough

I very rarely read or listen to a book, or watch a movie more than once. Atomic Habits is a book that I listened to twice. I also subscribe to James Clear‘s 3-2-1 weekly email, one of only 3 weekly email lists that I subscribe to. I listen to James last night on the Sam Harris podcast and stopped long enough to tweet this quote:

“A habit is not a finish line to be crossed, it’s a lifestyle to be lived.” ~ James Clear

My daily writing and meditation, my workout routine, my getting back into podcasting (trying to produce/create creative work)… these are habits I have developed or am developing. They don’t have an end goal. They don’t have a place where I can land and say, ‘Yes! I have arrived!“:

“A habit is not a finish line to be crossed, it’s a lifestyle to be lived.”

This is a time when more than ever we have an opportunity to do things for ourselves. I haven’t found my work schedule to be any less hectic at the moment. I still bring things home and fill my mind with the things I need to accomplish that don’t get done in a day. But I have more time at home to do things I felt I didn’t have time for previously.

It’s a great time to make positive lifestyle changes. It’s also a good time to reflect on what we will keep doing, or change, when things return to (some semblance of) normal.

It’s a Saturday, and after writing this, I’ll meditate. I meditate after writing because when I meditate first, I get stuck thinking about my writing and my mind is too distracted to meditate. So, I reward myself after publicly sharing my writing with 10 minutes of ‘me time’… a simple way to connect two habits and make them easier to do. I’ll work out, and at some point today and I’ll play with making my last podcast with Dave Sands into a video podcast. This is something new that I want to play with. The first video will take a while, since I need to create a reusable intro. But, since I need to interview people from a distance, and Zoom creates a video recording, it seems like a natural progression from sound recordings only… and it’s creative… and it’s fun… and it makes me use my brain in a creative way, unlike Netflix or Crave.

People set goals all the time, but as James Clear says, goals aren’t enough. Every competitive athlete at the Olympics has a goal of winning gold, only one of them will achieve this. But the habits we build into our lives, those become the lifestyle we live, they don’t lead to a finish line target, they lead to a life well lived.

Finding my sea legs

I remember a trip to the Cayman Islands with my dad. We were on the small island of Cayman Brac and we hired a boat to take us to see a shoreline that my dad wanted to explore. The boat wasn’t very big, under 25 feet long, and not designed for anything more than a day trip. The captain was a short, old man with a weathered, leathery face that made him look over 100 years old. He was letting me troll for marlin while we travelled. The waves were choppy, the boat bounced and swayed, and I had to keep my eyes on the horizon to keep from getting sea sick.

At one point I caught a barracuda and after I reeled it up to the boat, I couldn’t get it over the edge of the boat without standing up from my chair. The movement of the boat set me on my ass before I could take two steps towards the stern. The old sea captain put my dad’s hand on the steering wheel and pointed forward. He then walked to me, as sure-footed as if he were a young athlete on a flat track, picked me off the deck and helped me back into the seat. He then took my rod, walked back to the stern and got the fish into the boat. All the while, the boat bounced in the rough seas and this captain casually made tiny little shuffle-step movements with his feet, keeping himself perfectly balanced. This ancient-looking man had sea legs, he was as comfortable with the motion of the sea under his feet as we are on land.

This is my twenty second year as an educator and for the first time in years I feel like I’ve lost my ‘sea legs’. I’m struggling to find my balance. I’ve struggled with work load, and time management, and work-life balance before – I think all committed educators do – but this is different.

I recently discussed with Dave Sands that, “All screen time is not created equal,” but this is where I’m losing my balance. Beyond a daily walk, I’m spending every moment of my time in my school office or at home. During this time, I’m spending a fair bit more time online. When I’m at work, there is a constant flow of video conferences that interrupt any sense of work flow for my other tasks, and so days are very busy, but don’t always feel productive.

My online time at home flows from distraction, to entertainment, to work, to creating and writing, to news, back to work, and then back to news or distraction, with a daily workout thrown in. Recently, I’ve missed workouts, I’ve missed my daily meditation (3 times this month), I’ve spent more time writing (without writing much more than I usually do), and my focus seems scattered.

I need to rework my daily routine during this pandemic. It feels difficult because there is a constant flow of information that keeps shifting what things look like at work. There is also ever-changing news about how our social distancing expectations will change going forward. Metaphorically, the waves keep churning, and I’m struggling to keep my balance on the boat. I don’t have my sea legs. I’m going to rethink and reintroduce some of my routines that have worked for me before, and see if I can steady myself a bit.

I declare a news free day

I need a break. The fact is that I’ve never been a fan of the negativeness of the news. Before the pandemic I rarely watched news on television, now my wife watches the evening news and I join her. I hardly ever searched for daily news articles on my phone, now I check my Flipboard news 2-3 time a day, and I follow the stats of the Coronavirus.

Before this pandemic hit, I used to keep abreast of what’s going on in the world by checking out the trending hashtags on Twitter. Most of these are fun, but if a big world event happened then I could search that hashtag for a link from a reliable source and get caught up.

Today I’m doing none of that. Today I will enjoy a day knowing that the world will get along fine without my attention. Today I will permit myself to be blissfully ignorant to what’s happening beyond my work day and family time.

The news can wait… I’m taking a break.

Ps. Here’s Some Good News that I watched a few days ago… this I could get used to watching regularly, after my break today.

Nothing normal about the new normal

I’ve been camping out at my oldest daughter’s place in Victoria while my wife and other daughter are home. I’ve loved the daily walks we have gone on, and we’ve been watching Prime Video together in the evenings, enjoying ‘Hunters’ – a fictional series about a group of Nazi hunters in the late 70’s. These two activities add up to about 3 hours of my day… The rest of it has been a blur. Recovering from a broken knee and a shoulder injury has left me feeling very limited about what I can do for exercise besides go for long walks, with a cane, which just makes me feel old.

I’ve taken some more time to write than I normally do. I’ve spent way too much time following the news and stats of the Coronavirus, and I’ve more than doubled my social media time on my phone. I’ve also been thinking a lot about work and have had a number of emails and calls related to “continuity of educational opportunities” that will continue, even with our schools closed to students. Like most people, I have more questions than answers.

What this all adds up to is a very unusual schedule, where I have no idea what normal feels like? Today I slept in. I usually write this before 6am, and right now it’s after 1pm. The only thing on my agenda after this is a walk on my own, listening to my audio book, and a walk with my daughter around sunset. I don’t have the motivation to do more, and yet I’m already getting restless and know that I have to give myself some projects to work on. I’ve got a neglected newsletter and podcast that I might bring back. I might do some writing beyond this daily-ink. I might nap.

No matter how I look at things right now, there is nothing normal about what my day will look like until March break ends. Even then I don’t think I will have any kind of normalcy to my life… but the ‘normal’ of the past few days has to change soon because I’ve never really done ‘nothing much’ well as a major pastime. The new normal after the March break is still filled with unknowns and will include a drastically different schedule than before this global pandemic changed all of our lives.

What have you been doing to spend time well during this social distancing experience?

daily-ink-weekend-ideas

Be the designer of your world and not merely a consumer of it

I love this quote by James Clear in his book Atomic Habits. While I’m not big on platitudes, I think this invites more thought and conversation:

“Be the designer of your world and not merely a consumer of it.” ~ James Clear

How many times in a day are we faced with a decision where we passively acquiesce and do what is expected or what is easy rather than taking control and making a choice? The potato chips are easy to grab; The second last attempt on the last set of a workout suddenly becomes the last attempt; The rude person at work says something inappropriate, but you let it slide; The student who knows the answer but doesn’t raise their hand; The 5 minute check of social media becomes 25 minutes of scrolling; the ‘Next Episode’ counts down on Netflix and you let it start.

How many moments are there in a day that can be chosen rather than consumed ‘as usual’? We are the designers of our lives… or at least we should be.

Fix the inputs

“We think we need to change the results, but the results are not the problem.When you solve problems at the results level, you only solve them temporarily. In order to improve for good you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.

You do not rise to the level of your goals, your fall to the levels of your systems.”

~ James Clear, Atomic Habits

I’m re-listening to Atomic Habits, and this time I’m bookmarking sections and taking notes.

Relating this idea of, “Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves,” to students and schools, I think we often focus on the outputs. A simple example is homework incompletion: A student doesn’t do the homework, what do you do? Make them do the homework they missed.

On the surface this is a good idea. The best consequence for not doing the work is doing the work. But when this issue is chronic, and the teacher is constantly making the same student do the work after the fact, then that teacher is dealing with the output constantly, when the issue is the input. Why isn’t the homework getting done in the first place?

Maybe the student is overloaded with activities or a work schedule that doesn’t allow much time for homework.

Maybe the homework isn’t seen as helpful to the student.

Maybe the student doesn’t see the value in the homework, and thinks it’s not helpful.

Maybe the student prefers to do the homework after it’s due because they know they can sit with the teacher and get help, which they don’t get at home.

Maybe the student lacks the habits that makes homework achievable. Especially when they get unlimited time to play video games at home. Maybe the structure of being forced to do it later is the only structure they have in place to get the work done.

Maybe the teacher is giving that student too much homework and it takes too long to do.

Maybe there is a totally different reason. But here is the thing, if the homework is chronically late, chasing the student to do the work later isn’t solving the problem, it’s just trying to fix a problem with the results that you are getting.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals, your fall to the levels of your systems.”

On a personal note, I’m working on systems at work to stay focused on a single task rather than being distracted by trying to do too many things at once. This is challenging in an environment with constant distractions and a multitude of priorities – both my own and from others. I’ll share more on this later, but for now, the thing that I’m realizing is that it’s the inputs I need to work on. The systems I put in place set me up for good results or leave me chasing results when I don’t have those systems working for me.

Slowly by slowly

In an email correspondence, my cousin, Lee, reminded me of a post I wrote in China, Slowly by Slowly. In the post, I quoted Rob Giebitz who “first heard this phrase from our Chinese production manager“. Rob went on to say:

“Those odd sounding phrases that often amuse the native English speaker, those Chinglish phrases, may offer a key to understanding our host culture. “Slowly by slowly” may carry some meaning absent from the more familiar “little by little” or “step by step” that a native English speaker would use. “Little” indicates size or quantity, “step” implies distance; “slowly” brings our attention to the element of time.”

As I mentioned Tuesday, I broke my patella. I got in to see an orthopaedic surgeon and he gave me good news. Luckily, the break was the ‘right way’ (vertically on the bone) and I can start putting weight on my leg right away. It’s still very swollen, sore, and stiff, but it could have been a lot worse.

So now comes a 4-6 week recovery. It will go slowly by slowly. This will be tough. I’ve been doing 5 or more cardio workouts a week since the start of the year, but now I can’t run or ride for a while. I’m also still doing Physio exercises to strengthen an injured shoulder that’s recovering well. So, I have to be careful with upper body workouts too.

What will my fitness regimen look like? I’m not sure? I was too achy this morning and still want to get into work today, so icing and elevating is my workout after an unsettled sleep. But I’ll be up early tomorrow, I’ll hobble down the stairs and figure it out. Sometimes we have to accept that slowly by slowly is the best approach, and save the sprints for another time.

Adapt, Adjust, and Amplify

“Lose 25 pounds in a month.”

“Earn $1,000 a day.”

“Look 10 years younger.”

“Discover your potential.”

“Live the life of your dreams.”

“Anything is possible…”

…But none of it is attainable for the vast majority of people. The plans are made to look simple, but the goals are lofty, and the path to success is anything but easy. How many of us are excessively rich, looking and feeling healthier and younger than we are, and living our ideal dream life? We aren’t going to get all these things from some motivational speaker or some club membership or program. As Derek Sivers says,

“If [more] information was the answer, then we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs.”

It’s amazing how easy it can sound, but real, incremental, and meaningful change often takes two things:

  • Consistent effort.
  • More time than you think.

I’ve written about my healthy living goals, and the shoulder injury that I’m recovering from. In the past, an ice-pick-like stabbing pain in my shoulder would have been enough to derail my entire workout schedule. I would have stopped everything and gone into lazy mode.

Instead, my treadmill run, which bounced my shoulder too much, became a stationary bike ride; my weights set became a core strength set. My other routines remained as well. I think this happened because I am not on some crazy, unrealistic path to health goals I’ll never achieve. I’m on a slow, attainable path, that I want to maintain.

Here is the path that worked for me:

Adapt, Adjust, and Amplify.

It wasn’t easy at first, and it was not going to happen overnight. There wasn’t a romantic appeal, it wasn’t sexy or overly inspiring. It took patience. And unlike the fads and crazes, it lead to significant change over time.

1. Adapt – The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If at first you don’t succeed, try something different. I made changes that were realistic and sustainable. Twenty minutes of cardio – totally doable to fit into my schedule. Before, I’d incrementally move that up to close to an hour. Now, I can put in over an hour on the basketball court, running hard, even though I haven’t done more than a 25 min. hard cardio workout in over a year. I won’t win any marathons, but I’m not dumb enough to ask my body to try. I adapted a workout schedule that optimizes my fitness in a minimal amount of time.

2. Adjust – My schedule had to adjust when I started writing this daily blog before my morning workouts. I kept running out of time. Now I’m writing this at 10pm, in bed on Sunday, rather than early tomorrow morning. I write longer posts on weekends, when inspired, and keep them short, with limited writing time on weekdays. I’ve adjusted a few things along the way, each time I do so, it’s to reduce friction and to make maintaining my wellness regimen easier. A great example of an adaptation is that when I felt I was stagnating a bit on my runs, I started doing some interval training. I increased my speed for minute or minute-and-a-half intervals, and I watched my top speed increase. When I got to a good speed, one that I used to run when I was in my 30’s, I made that my new maximum for my hard days… I adjusted again, rather than pushing myself to some unreasonable goals.

3. Amplify – When things are working, I highlight them. I’m public with them on my blog, and with family and friends. This isn’t bragging, it’s holding myself accountable. When I see results from interval training, I push myself to do this more often. When I got injured, I focussed on my daily calendar, and the things I could do, rather than the things I couldn’t. By amplifying the small successes, and the commitment I made to myself, I’ve created a positive feedback loop that inspires me to keep going.

As catchy as Adapt, Adjust, and Amplify may sound, it’s the other two tips that really make this work:

  • Consistent effort.
  • More time than you think.

Keep going, knowing that long term goals are more sustainable than flashy weight loss or instant muscles. Low motivation or injuries will happen, they don’t need to break the pattern of consistency, they will just slow down the intensity, and the timelines to the goals that were created.

There are times to aspire to be great, and to put everything you have into success and achievement. And, there are times to focus on self care… Times to realize that mentally and physically, we need to be consistent, show up, and maintain as well as tweak, the patterns and behaviours that make us incrementally better over time. It’s not fast, it’s not glamorous, it is achievable and rewarding, as long as you are dedicated and show patience.

Speed bumps are not road block

For over a week now, I’ve been dealing with a minor shoulder injury. I’m not sure how I got it, but I think shovelling snow and wide grip chin-ups were a bad combination, and I’ve pinched a nerve. Mentally it has been tough because I can’t help but think that this would have been an injury that would have lingered for 3 days if I were in my 20’s, but it has bugged me now for over a week. This “I’m no spring chicken anymore” attitude isn’t great, but I can’t help but think it when even trying to put my coat on makes me feel old.

However, in previous years, this injury would have brought my workouts to a standstill. I would have taken a break from my routine. Instead, I’m sticking to my Healthy Living Goals. In this 2019 year-end post, is a tip that I shared which I’m sticking to. This tip is to ‘reduce friction’, and a key point is:

Don’t exercise at your maximum every day. Some days I push really hard, and some days I go at 75%. A day when you are feeling low, give yourself an effort break, but don’t give yourself a break from actually doing exercise.

I haven’t been able to get on the treadmill because the bouncing causes my shoulder to ache, so I’m getting on the exercise bike. While I love mountain biking, I’ve never loved riding on a stationary bike, and so this isn’t my favourite thing to do. Still, today will be my 8th time on the bike in 9 days. I’m not winning any speed records, I am getting my heart rate up, and getting my minimum 20 minute cardio workout in.

I’ve also stopped weights and chin-ups, but I still stretch and work on my core. My workouts are a bit shorter, but they haven’t stopped.

The simple fact is that an injury like this used to become a major roadblock to my regular routine. It used to break the pattern and I’d stop working out. Instead, I’ve looked at this as a minor speed bump. Yes, it has slowed me down. No, I’m not improving my strength and conditioning. I am maintaining my healthy living routines and my streaks (another important tip from my year-end post).

I’m also trying to stay positive and stop myself from experiencing the “I’m getting old” self-pity party, but it’s easier for me to go through the positive physical motions than the mental ones… And on that note, it’s almost 5:30am, time to meditate and then get in that exercise bike. Remember, we are going to hit speed bumps on our healthy living journey, and while we need to listen to our body and slow down, we don’t need to stop.

Undermining Self-Sabotage

It’s amazing how much people undermine themselves:

  • The dieter with tons of food they shouldn’t eat in the house.
  • The person with a deadline watching one, or two, or three more tv show before getting to work.
  • The victim of bullying seeking negative attention that makes them an easier target.
  • The emotionally struggling person finding friends that needs rescuing and more support than they can healthily give.
  • A perfectionist placing such high demands on themselves that they can do nothing well.
  • The stressed who relate everything they do to stress, so stress is always on their minds.

Here are two quotes from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits:

You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.

And;

You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.

The things we do, and the plans and systems we put in place, and the habits we develop here and now are what determine the outcomes we are heading towards. Part of self-sabotage is looking forward and not believing we can achieve our goals, so why make the effort? The targets are too big, or too far away.

It’s the small thing that you can do today that move you to a bigger goal. Small, repeatable things that become habits. These small things undermine self-sabotage. When you surround yourself with small positive, incremental changes, your trajectory changes, and the people around you notice. Maybe it’s possible that you can help change the trajectory of others around you as well? Undermine self-sabotage by making small positive changes can be contagious.