I’m glad to see you go! 4 months of pain from a herniated disc and dealing with my father’s death at the same time is not something I enjoyed. I also didn’t do my yearly healthy living calendar this year and basically stopped meditating.
So I’ll buy a new calendar today, I’ll refocus my healthy living goals… and I’ll look forward to 2024.
2023 can kiss my derrière:)
I’m thinking positive thoughts and planning to have a healthy, productive year ahead. May 2024 be a great year for you too!
Last night we went out for a wonderful dinner. I’m the restaurant we had a booth next to a round table which had a mother and 3 daughters. I’d guess the kid’s ages to be about 7, 12, and 14. My youngest daughter was sitting next to me and whispered, “They are all on devices.”
When I looked, the 7 year old had an Anime video playing on her laptop, which was about 8-10 inches (20-25cm) from her face. The 12 year old had over-ear headphones on and was endlessly scrolling on social media. The 14 year old was opposite me and all I could see was that she had one earbud in, on the far side of her mom, and she was bouncing between drawing (she definitely had some art skills) and scrolling on her phone.
The whole table sat in what was mostly silence, eating slowly. This continued from the time they sat down until we left the restaurant.
My daughter then pointed out the table behind us where a boy, about 5, had his face over a tablet, his face lit up from the light off of it, since he was so close to it.
It’s the era of digital babysitting, digital distractions, but creating distraction from what? Mealtime, family time, conversation, social engagement? …All of the above.
I think this form of distraction is fundamentally changing the way we socialize and this will affect our sense of family, community, and culture.
What happens when our screens become more important than the people around us?
I grew up in a small Jewish community in Barbados. It seems like an odd place for Ashkenazi Jews to be located, but there is a Jewish cemetery on the island dating back to the 1400’s.
However we weren’t Jewish, we were Jew-ish. I shared this previously,
And as for being a Jew, I think most Jews would say that I am not Jewish. You see, Judiasim is a matriarchal religion and my Grandmother, my Mother’s Mother, is to this day a Catholic. She was happily married, a role model marriage like few I’ve seen, to my Jewish Grandfather until he died.
So my mom grew up with a Christmas tree and told my dad that having a Christmas tree was something she and her kids had to have. My dad, esoteric rather than religious, was fully on board. In my childhood there were a lot of jokes about our Hanukkah bush (Christmas tree), and my dad’s favourite joke, telling the more Jewish members of the family that they could eat the Christmas ham because the pig was circumcised.
No matter how I look at it, Christmas, Hanukkah, Pass-over, and Easter were no more religious than Thanksgiving. They were opportunities for family to gather and to celebrate each other’s company.
So no matter what your faith, or what holiday you celebrate this time of the year, have a wonderful time with family and friends.
Cheers to you!
Today was a good food prep day. We are hosting my mom as well as my sister and brother-in-law and their kids for dinner tomorrow, and the making of the feast started today. I haven’t cooked a turkey since some time before we moved to China back in 2009, and with the guidance of one of my secretaries, I decided to try a brine.
That’s what I started my day with, then went on to make two family recipes I’ve never done before. First was our baked stuffing, and then my mom’s baked peas & rice. Working side-by-side with my mom, we spent most of the day in the kitchen.
The stuffing is ready for the fridge until tomorrow, and the rice is coming out of the oven before I finish writing this.
There is something special about traditional family recipes that make them a treasure to eat. I remember the first time I had Christmas at a girlfriend and her parent’s house, and being totally disappointed that I didn’t have ‘our’ stuffing, ‘our’ corn pie, and ‘our’ rice (there wasn’t even rice, just mashed potatoes). I was so disappointed!
Since then I’ve lived provinces away from my family for 30 years, and I’ve gotten used to new foods and new traditions. But tomorrow… Tomorrow I get to feast on some family favourites, and maybe even start a new tradition with brined turkey.
Happy holidays and happy feasting! I hope everyone gathering over the holidays will get a little taste of home. 💜
My wife is a pretty awesome human being. I have so many reasons to feel lucky that she said ‘Yes’ when I proposed to her on a beach in Ucluelet many years ago.
One thing that I often marvel at is how generous she is in showing appreciation to others. She labours and worries about giving just the right gift. And she writes more thank you notes than anyone I’ve ever met.
Me? Not so much. But I’m learning. The hard part is that sometimes I’m a slow learner. I get stuck in between the knowing/doing gap. I know that there is a big difference between being appreciative and showing appreciation, and yet I don’t always show my appreciation and gratitude.
And with that I thank you, dear reader. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you. Thank you for giving me a tiny part of your day. Thank you for the comments and likes on my Daily-Ink social media posts as well as on my blog. And thank you for the in-person comments about reading my blog.
Those small interactions are part of my own personal growth and recognition that these moments of appreciation we share enrich our lives.
Thank you!
Two more days until the winter break. Tonight I’ll be at school until 9:30pm or so, because we have a school dance I’ll be supervising. Tomorrow will be a lot shorter, then we have a 2-week holiday. I’ve never been one to countdown, but this has already been a long week and I am really looking forward to the break.
The next countdown is Christmas Day, and I’m cooking a turkey for the first time in years. Then there is the countdown to a trip to Whistler for a couple nights, to new years’s eve, and then to a trip to Victoria for a couple nights.
I’m excited for the two trips because my mom is coming with us and she has never been to Whistler or Victoria. It will be great showing her around, and I’m glad my daughters will have done time with her too.
But first I’ve got to get to the break. Two more school days, one sleep, and the countdown is over. I hope everyone has a wonderful break.
Yesterday I went to two different social gatherings, a breakfast and an after work event. The day before I was at a big Christmas dinner. It’s that time of year when we get together to celebrate, socialize, and fill our bellies with food. This past weekend I wrapped presents and stockings. Although my daughters are in their 20’s, they still get stockings to open on Christmas Day.
It’s wonderful to gather and spend time with family and friends. It makes me feel blessed to work in an environment where I feel helpful, useful, and productive. I feel blessed to be in a loving family that actually likes spending time together. And I enjoy the festivities that we hold this time of year.
Gathering with people you care about and enjoy being with is special, and it reminds me how important it is to find the time to connect and to be social. It makes me wonder why I don’t make more of an effort to do so when it’s not for a special occasion. There are good reasons to connect all year, we don’t need to wait until a holiday, or year’s end to feel festive and to gather with friends… we can be festive any time of year.
I was having a conversation with my daughter yesterday and I mentioned a podcast I was listening to with Dr. Daniel Amen. The point I shared with her was how Dr. Amen talks about killing ANTs… Automatic Negative Thoughts. My daughter liked that idea and added something she has been working on, which is, “Don’t let a positive thought go unsaid.”
I really like this idea and think I’m going to work on the same.
How often do we complain about bad customer service, but we just appreciate good customer service, yet leave those thoughts unsaid?
How often do we get frustrated with a loved one or a coworker who doesn’t do what we expect them to do, but don’t really value them when they do a little extra?
How often do we focus on ANTs, but leave our positive thoughts unsaid?
I am in a tiny hotel gym near the Toronto airport, dictating this while on an elliptical. It’s 9:30 PM and we head home to Vancouver tomorrow morning just after 6 AM. It has been a whirlwind week for us. Leaving our home 2:30 in the morning last week Friday to come here for a memorial celebration of the passing of my dad.
We spent a wonderful few days up at BlueMountain, near Collingwood, with my mom, her four kids, and seven of eight grandkids. Unfortunately, the eighth grandkid was hit with Covid and didn’t recover in time to join us. Still, it was so wonderful to have our family together for the first time in over a decade with all 4 kids and that many grandkids m being present. My dad would have loved it.
My wife, kids, and mom spent the last couple nights in downtown Toronto, went shoe shopping for my mom, visited the Aquarium, and saw a musical, ‘In Dreams’. The play features Roy Orbison music and my mom loved it. We all did. I was worried when it started with a side story of a woman losing her husband, but that wasn’t the focus of the show and didn’t ruin the mood despite the recency of my fathers passing.
Today we went back to my mom’s place, hung out and ordered Caribbean style Doubles from a roti shop. I really wish I could find some good West Indian takeout in Coquitlam, and since I can’t, I always make sure I get some when in Toronto.
I probably should be getting to bed right now with a 3:30 AM wake up call, but I hadn’t had any exercise other than walking at my moms pace for three days now, and I’m not sure what I’ll feel like doing tomorrow after a long day of travel. So, I am using speech to text and panting slightly, unsure of how much editing I will need to do when I get off this machine.
I remember hearing that by the time you’re 18 you have spent roughly 95% of the total time you’ll ever spend with your parents. Losing my dad has really made me put this statistic into perspective. I think about my daughters at 21 and 23, and I’m actually grateful that one still lives with us, and I already see how hard it is to plan to get together with the older one who lives an hours drive and an hour and a half ferry ride away from us.
I’m actually thankful for covid in that it was the reason my siblings and mom started a group chat and that has increased my communication with my mom and sisters. Seeing my sisters’ now grown up kids has been wonderful too, and I really question where the time has gone. It occurred to me that my oldest nephew is older than I was when I had my first kid. That seems so hard to grasp. I am now the generation that I think my parents should be. Looking at old photographs, I find pictures of my parents as adults when they were younger than I am now, and yet in my mind I’m still just a kid… Their kid.
Cardio is done, I’ve edited my voice-to-text writing above and it’s time to put on Enya and do my stretches. I’ll keep thinking and reflecting on my time with family, and then I’ll crank the music and get a little bit of strength exercise in. I like doing a variety of exercises at hotels, using machines I don’t get to use in my simple home gym.
Tomorrow, I travel home then start to worry about catching up at work. It’s going to be a bit painful, but I’m glad to have had this time, and it know how much it meant to my mom… and to me!
We had our Thanksgiving dinner last night. 15 of us enjoyed a wonderful sushi feast.
When my family lived in Dalian, China we didn’t have an oven. Both Christmas days that we were there we had Pizza Hut for our Christmas dinner.
Most families have traditional meals like turkey, roasted ham, or other holiday foods that they want year after year. Our family went out for Harvey’s hamburgers today for our American family that miss this fast food burger joint, living south of the border.
Earlier this week my sister made a Caribbean peas and rice dish, a family favourite, for us. Also, I made an Asian stir fry rice dish, and we also went for Beaver Tails, because my mom was craving them.
Our family are not big on traditional foods, but we really enjoy large meals with more food than we need. I think that’s why I love leftovers so much. We don’t need turkey, and we don’t need fine dining. Just give us sushi and pizza, and a holiday or family event as an excuse to get together.
