Tag Archives: family

Generation bump

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It’s the first one in our family. My niece, my sister-in-law’s daughter, is getting married today. This is the start of a new chapter for our family. I haven’t been to a wedding in many years, but they will become more frequent in the coming years.

It’s a little surreal to realize that we are now the parent generation. We are the sandwich generation often thinking (and sometimes worrying) about both our parents and our kids. We are the adults. That sounds silly to say, but I’m probably not the only one that questions how I got to this phase of life, how I’m not the kid still trying to figure things out?

New life adventures lay ahead, new firsts in a new chapter of our lives.

Time in cars and with friends

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Yesterday I drove 40 minutes each way to spend just over an hour and a half with friends. They were visiting from Ontario and I saw them Saturday, but it was a short visit and so I wanted to connect again.

I ended up chatting with a cousin the whole drive there, and I listened to a book on the way back. Time well spent in the car.

But more importantly, I got to chat with my friends. We had a coffee, went for a walk, bought some pastries… and we talked. We spent time some wonderful, albeit short together. I spent about 15 more minutes with them than I did in the car. It couldn’t be longer because they had to pack up, check out of the Airbnb and catch a plane. But it was long enough. It was a wonderful reconnection.

Later, my wife and I went to wish her sister a happy birthday. That was about 45 minutes in the car for an hour and a half visit. Again, well worth the drive.

Ive got a full tank, when are we meeting next? 😜

In living and loving memory

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My dad died a year ago today. In all honesty I haven’t thought that much about it today other than seeing a chat in WhatsApp from my sisters this morning and then I just got off the phone with my mom.

The thing is, I don’t want this to be a day that I hold as special in my memory. I was in agonizing pain with a herniated disk, and I didn’t get back in time to say good bye when he took a turn for the worse. February 26th is his birthday, and that’s a living, loving day to remember my dad. The day of his death had no other significance before his death, and frankly I will only track it to ensure I chat with my mom.

It’s holidays, family dinners, and adventures together that I want to remember. I want the moments I hold dear to be ones that keep his memory alive, and the anniversary of his death doesn’t make that cut. In the coming years I’ll write more about my dad, but this is probably the last time that I mention him here on this day. I’ll choose more meaningful days and/or more meaningful memories.

Family pack

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My mom and sister flew in a couple days ago. Today my nephew joined us and 7 of us went out for sushi… a small group but it brought back memories. I forget sometimes how crazy my childhood was. We’d go over to my grandparents house for a typical dinner and there would be 25+ family members there. A family picnic was a convoy. A surprise birthday party would be 60+ people.

I wish my kids spent more of their childhood surrounded by cousins and in the chaos of always being around them and their aunts and uncles, like me and my sisters had. It was such an amazing way to be brought up. I was blessed to have such an amazing extended family experience growing up!

Surprise gathering

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I’m on a ferry heading to Nanaimo to surprise my father-in-law for his 91st birthday. My wife is already there but he has no idea that his two other children and 7 more family members are also joining him today.

Moments like this are golden. We can get lost in the bustle of day to day things and opportunities to come together can be rare. Today my father-in-law is going to be delighted, and so will the rest of us.

Call someone you love and don’t see often today, and maybe plan the next get-together… or better yet, pay them a surprise visit! 💜

Seizing Moments

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Yesterday I had the opportunity to have lunch with my admin team. Now when I say that I’m talking about 3 ‘teammates’ that do not work in the same building as me. So when we can get together and enjoy a meal it’s a special moment. The moment was made that much more special because two of the three people I met are moving on… one to a new position, and the other one retiring. Then, after work, I connected with some other administrators for a wellness gathering. It was wonderful to spend that time connecting with colleagues that I don’t always see during my typical work week. And when I came home, my wife and I had a wonderful evening together. We both seem to have a little more energy than we usually do on a Friday night. It was a fun night of laughter and conversation.

This morning I did the Coquitlam crunch with my buddy, and while it was cold and early, and we were the only ones in the parking lot, it was a ‘seize the moment kind’ of opportunity. This was our 120th Crunch since we started 3 years ago in January 2020. My buddy suggested that the title of this post should be “Just Do It”, and that was the initial plan, but my thoughts go a little beyond that this afternoon.

After our walk and coffee shop social, I went home and said bye to my wife and helped her pack the car to head over to the island to visit her parents. Then my daughter called and asked for a ride because she spent an anniversary night out with her boyfriend and they were heading home from downtown. After dropping her boyfriend at his house, my daughter and I decided to go and enjoy a sushi lunch at a wonderful restaurant. I can’t express how wonderful it is to have grown-up kids who still look forward to a meal with their father (and yes, especially when he’s paying).

Now I am sitting in my hot tub, penning my ideas using voice to text, and even enjoying a little visit for my cat.

Visits with colleagues, chats with my wife, walks with friends, meals with family, and hot tubs on a cold winter day, these are all small little moments individually… But weave them together, and they make for an absolutely wonderful life.

We sometimes go headlong into work, and bury ourselves in busyness, not realizing that we don’t have to put everything on hold until our next vacation, or gathering with family or friends. Tiny moments, planned, and unplanned, are the moments we need to seek and enjoy.

Goodbye 2023

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I’m glad to see you go! 4 months of pain from a herniated disc and dealing with my father’s death at the same time is not something I enjoyed. I also didn’t do my yearly healthy living calendar this year and basically stopped meditating.

So I’ll buy a new calendar today, I’ll refocus my healthy living goals… and I’ll look forward to 2024.

2023 can kiss my derrière:)

I’m thinking positive thoughts and planning to have a healthy, productive year ahead. May 2024 be a great year for you too!

Digital distraction

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Last night we went out for a wonderful dinner. I’m the restaurant we had a booth next to a round table which had a mother and 3 daughters. I’d guess the kid’s ages to be about 7, 12, and 14. My youngest daughter was sitting next to me and whispered, “They are all on devices.”

When I looked, the 7 year old had an Anime video playing on her laptop, which was about 8-10 inches (20-25cm) from her face. The 12 year old had over-ear headphones on and was endlessly scrolling on social media. The 14 year old was opposite me and all I could see was that she had one earbud in, on the far side of her mom, and she was bouncing between drawing (she definitely had some art skills) and scrolling on her phone.

The whole table sat in what was mostly silence, eating slowly. This continued from the time they sat down until we left the restaurant.

My daughter then pointed out the table behind us where a boy, about 5, had his face over a tablet, his face lit up from the light off of it, since he was so close to it.

It’s the era of digital babysitting, digital distractions, but creating distraction from what? Mealtime, family time, conversation, social engagement? …All of the above.

I think this form of distraction is fundamentally changing the way we socialize and this will affect our sense of family, community, and culture.

What happens when our screens become more important than the people around us?

Merry Christmas

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I grew up in a small Jewish community in Barbados. It seems like an odd place for Ashkenazi Jews to be located, but there is a Jewish cemetery on the island dating back to the 1400’s.

However we weren’t Jewish, we were Jew-ish. I shared this previously,

And as for being a Jew, I think most Jews would say that I am not Jewish. You see, Judiasim is a matriarchal religion and my Grandmother, my Mother’s Mother, is to this day a Catholic. She was happily married, a role model marriage like few I’ve seen, to my Jewish Grandfather until he died.

So my mom grew up with a Christmas tree and told my dad that having a Christmas tree was something she and her kids had to have. My dad, esoteric rather than religious, was fully on board. In my childhood there were a lot of jokes about our Hanukkah bush (Christmas tree), and my dad’s favourite joke, telling the more Jewish members of the family that they could eat the Christmas ham because the pig was circumcised.

No matter how I look at it, Christmas, Hanukkah, Pass-over, and Easter were no more religious than Thanksgiving. They were opportunities for family to gather and to celebrate each other’s company.

So no matter what your faith, or what holiday you celebrate this time of the year, have a wonderful time with family and friends.

Cheers to you!

Family recipes

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Today was a good food prep day. We are hosting my mom as well as my sister and brother-in-law and their kids for dinner tomorrow, and the making of the feast started today. I haven’t cooked a turkey since some time before we moved to China back in 2009, and with the guidance of one of my secretaries, I decided to try a brine.

That’s what I started my day with, then went on to make two family recipes I’ve never done before. First was our baked stuffing, and then my mom’s baked peas & rice. Working side-by-side with my mom, we spent most of the day in the kitchen.

The stuffing is ready for the fridge until tomorrow, and the rice is coming out of the oven before I finish writing this.

There is something special about traditional family recipes that make them a treasure to eat. I remember the first time I had Christmas at a girlfriend and her parent’s house, and being totally disappointed that I didn’t have ‘our’ stuffing, ‘our’ corn pie, and ‘our’ rice (there wasn’t even rice, just mashed potatoes). I was so disappointed!

Since then I’ve lived provinces away from my family for 30 years, and I’ve gotten used to new foods and new traditions. But tomorrow… Tomorrow I get to feast on some family favourites, and maybe even start a new tradition with brined turkey.

Happy holidays and happy feasting! I hope everyone gathering over the holidays will get a little taste of home. 💜