Tag Archives: drive

Mental motivation around maintenance

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Good day or bad day, I work out an average 6 days a week. One day is usually just the 5km loop up the Coquitlam Crunch with a buddy, and the other 5 (or 6) days usually involve weights. I start with 20-30 minutes cardio, 1 day a week doing the Norwegian Protocol. Then I stretch for a few minutes, then I try to work one muscle group to fatigue.

That might look like 3 minutes of leg raises and crunches. A double set of fly and bench press. A tricep or bicep set, pull-ups, or weighted step-ups. But only one of these. So my full workout from cardio to stretching to weights usually takes about 50 minutes if I do 30 of cardio.

It’s not a hard routine, and while I’m working one set of muscles to fatigue, I don’t usually feel all that sore afterwards and it’s easy to work a different set of muscles the next day.

All this to say that I have a good routine, that I mostly enjoy (other than the Norwegian Protocol which kinda sucks every time). I get up, write, meditate, and start my workout. If I write for too long, I listen to a guided meditation while doing my cardio. I almost never miss a work day workout, my gaps tend to be on weekends or holidays.

So the habit is engrained, and I don’t need motivation to do my routine. I wake up and just start my routine, and don’t stop until it’s done. Easy.

What I do struggle with sometimes is how hard I push myself. For the last few days my ‘work one muscle group to fatigue’ sets have not been a push to fatigue. Mentally, I just can’t get myself to that place. Every set I do, I quit when my muscles should be pushed further.

For example, yesterday I was doing bicep curls with a slightly lighter weight than I usually use, and yet I wasn’t able to get many reps in. I would think, ‘I’ve got at least two more reps in me’, I’d do one and just decide that I would stop. Physically I could have done more. And even if I couldn’t, the half rep more trying would have meant that I took the muscle to fatigue. But I quit. I didn’t truly complete the set. I couldn’t mentally get myself to push hard enough.

And of course I beat myself up about it. Especially since I’ve felt like this for a few days. The reality is that it’s damn hard to push to fatigue every day. Especially when I’m not doing this to be a bodybuilder. I’m not on a mission to bulk up. I don’t have a race or a sport I’m training for. I’m just trying to be a bit fitter than I was yesterday.

So I’m at a point now where I’m in maintenance mode. I’m not taking a break, I’m not slacking in my routine, but I’m cruising a bit on my overall effort. And yet, despite recognizing all this, I’m still hard on myself when I can’t push to 100% for just a few minutes in the day.

I believe it would be healthier for me to think of this as a regular cycle of maintenance rather than a failure to push myself. I understand this intellectually. Yet I struggle. I feel like I’m letting myself down. I feel like I’m getting old and forgetting how to push as hard as I could before.

It’s an internal battle that I think I should have figured out by now. Sharing it ‘out loud’ feels a little embarrassing, because it feels like I’m seeking empathy or condolences or a pep talk, but I don’t want or need that. What I need is to be easier on myself as I cycle through this, knowing that the ability to push myself hard will come back.

The challenge is that I fear being easy on myself. I fear that this easing up can become more frequent… That maintainance mode can easily become my default mode. And deep down I want to keep this fear. Because that fear will reduce the amount of time that I spend in maintenance mode, and the fear reminds me that I know how to push myself. I’d rather be upset at myself and strive for improvement, than be more self-forgiving and also more likely to accept mediocrity and maintenance as my default.

It’s time to put on my weighted vest and get on my treadmill, and listen to a guided meditation. I have a routine I have to keep.

The past and the push

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When you hear great athletes talk about practice, they know what it means to push themselves. When they miss a shot, lose an easy opportunity, they don’t give up, they don’t negative self-talk, they double down and give more than they thought they could. When they are in a game and everything is on the line… there’s one more offensive rush, one more play to decide the game, they are 100% present with a singular focus.

I’m not a natural athlete, and like I said before, “…sometimes I could get in the zone. Sometimes the game slowed down for me and I could see more action around me. Sometimes I could see the play forming and feel the rhythm of the game. I didn’t have a switch I could turn on, I didn’t know what I could do to put myself in the zone. I didn’t have control of it.”

I wasn’t an athlete that could choose to get into that zone, it found me. And it might not have found me enough, but I have strong memories of those moments, I remember them and how powerful they were. But they are all in the past… and I find that hard. I want those moments again.

Perhaps I need to start archery again? Maybe I just need a regular workout buddy? I don’t know what will get me back to that, being someone who no longer does organized sports? What I do know is that I miss it. This isn’t about regret, it’s like nostalgia, yet different. It’s a yearning to feel the push, to feel the relentless drive, to be a reliable force in the pursuit of excellence.

It’s about feeling the push in the present.

Winning is Everything

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We live in an era of participation awards and consolation prizes. Everyone is a winner… except that’s not true. It takes a special kind of attitude, one that requires you to believe that winning is everything, to get you to the headspace of a winner that actually wins more often.

Great athletes are not satisfied with second place, second place is the first loser. Dedicated athletes are pissed off when they are a fraction slower than their personal best time… Next time… I’m going to hit it next time. I’ve got to give more. The thrill of competing isn’t the the only thrill, it’s the path to the greater thrill of winning, of hitting a personal best… of giving everything you’ve got and being rewarded with success.

Sportsmanship is important, but winning is more important. My opponent is pissed off at me? Good. Let them be angry while I am focussed. Let them worry more about hurting me than on scoring. Let them fear what I’m willing to do that they are not. Anger is weakness and all weaknesses are to be exploited. Celebrate in their faces after scoring. Exude confidence. Boast. Win at all costs. Defeat them morally as well as on the scoreboard. Make them loath the thought of going up against you next time.

Some will vilify and hate you. Some will call you arrogant. Some will declare you a cheat, call you a dirty player, and claim you are overrated, overhyped. This will be your fuel, not a reward, winning is your reward, but the naysayers light a fire under you. Proving them wrong is part of what makes victory so sweet.

There is no consolation prize, no celebration for mere participation. No. There is simply the drive to win next time. Hours of practice lie ahead. More than any other competitor is willing to do… because that is what winners do.

Nike “Am I a bad person?”commercial: https://youtu.be/pwLergHG81c

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Update: See my post, Good pushback , for follow up to this post.

What are you showing up for?

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I wrote this back in April 2022:

We live in a society now where there is so much pressure to do well; to be your best; to shine. It’s not easy. But sometimes the message doesn’t have to be ‘you are awesome’, ‘you have so much potential’, or ‘push yourself’. Sometimes the message of ‘just show up’ is all we need to hear.

  • Don’t plan an hour workout, just show up at the gym.
  • Don’t worry about how much you have to do, just start.
  • Don’t create a huge ‘to do’ list, pick 2-3 things you know you can get done and check those off… even if showing up is one of those things!

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than thinking your way into a new way of acting. ~Richard Pascale

Just show up!

In a coffee shop with a friend today we were discussing the value of ‘Just showing up‘, and he asked the very rich question, “What are you showing up for?”

Two things come to mind and they are related:

  • For the habit; and
  • For the accomplishment.

When your attitude is ‘just show up’ you often end up doing more than you expect. A perfect example is exercise. “I don’t feel like working out today” is not showing up! But “I don’t feel like working out today so I’ll just walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes…” This is ‘just showing up’! And if you only do 10 minutes, that’s great! You weren’t feeling up to doing anything and you accomplished a short workout. Fantastic!

But what also might happen is you could finish that 10 minutes and add another 10 minutes because now you’re feeling pretty good about it. You could decide you’re just going to do a walk and then you end up doing a run. You could finish the 10 minutes and then do 15 or 20 minutes of stretching that you wouldn’t have done had you not got on the treadmill in the first place.

So instead of not showing up and skipping the workout you have both maintained the habit and you’ve also accomplished something to feel good about.

What are you showing up for? Consistency: Habit reinforced; Accomplishment achieved.

The push

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I’ve been in a workout slump recently. I haven’t stopped working out, it’s just my effort has waned. I’m finding it hard to push myself and get the most out of my workouts. I know it’s just a phase and I’ll get through it, but it’s lasting a bit longer than I hoped.

I mention it because it builds a little fear in me. The lack of drive, of push, scares me a bit. It whispers in my ear, ‘you are getting old’, it says to me, ‘you aren’t an athlete anymore’.

It hits me when I’m doing a short sprint on the treadmill and there is 30 seconds left and I want to shorten the sprint time… Not push through, not muscle it, just end it early. It hits me when I’m on my 3rd set with weights, and I start the set thinking I can get 8 reps, then at 4 reps I’ve already decided I can only do 6… and then I do 5. Or when I know I have more gas in my tank and still I leave a few reps undone, because while I wasn’t at full fatigue, my mind said ‘that’s good enough’, and I can’t push myself anymore.

Part of it might be that I’ve been working out on my own too much and I need some external motivation. It might also just be a slump. But it eats away at my confidence. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that makes the next push experience harder.

I’m confident that I’ll find my focus again, and I know that the fact that I’m still showing up and not letting this discourage my commitment is a real positive. But I have to say that this slump has been mentally challenging for me. I want to feel I’ve left nothing in reserves after I finish a set or a sprint. I want to really feel ‘the push’ again.

To decide or to deny

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I love this Seth Godin quote:

“You don’t need more time, you just need to decide.”

I have goals that I set, and that I hit. I have other goals, call them lofty, call them challenging, or call them unrealistic, that I don’t tend to hit. Two examples of lofty goals include doing pistol squats, and doing 30 consecutive pull-ups. These are really difficult goals to achieve, they involve considerable effort, and diligent practice… and the practice is hard, it hurts. And yes, they take time.

But time isn’t the issue. I can find the time. I can do less of some activities and put more dedicated effort into these goals. So why don’t I? I haven’t decided that these goals are important enough. I haven’t decided that the pain and effort necessary to accomplish these goals is worth doing.

These aren’t real goals (yet?), they are wishes. I will be denied success because I haven’t decided that I’m ready to put in the time and effort required. I haven’t decided, and so I will not achieve.

I did a set of 15 pull-ups yesterday, followed by two sets of ten. Every set ended with my will power quitting before my body. I am not ready to put my body through the pain required to reach 30. I’m not mentally ready for the pain. Ultimately I’m not ready to push to 18, then 20, then 22, and so on. I simply haven’t yet decided. Of course even if I decided, 30 might be unrealistic, but I won’t know until I decide to try… first I just need to decide.

Sometimes a push is needed

I’m not a fan of the cold. I share this fact openly. I’ve also shared that I do a weekly walk with my buddy Dave called the Coquitlam Crunch. Well here is my text conversation with Dave last night:

I’m going to be totally honest, I was fishing for the opportunity to skip the Crunch. But here’s the thing… it was fine! I dressed warmly, we had ‘clamp-ons’ to put over our shoes to grip the snow, and I’m really glad that we did it. That was crunch number 92 since we started back in January 2021.

It’s good to have friends that don’t let us have the easy out. So often our anticipation and avoidance is actually worse than doing the thing we need to do. And when we don’t want to do it, friends can either help us step up, or they can keep us in the ‘easy zone’. Easy to do and good for us are seldom the same path.

The right friend knows when to push… and that friend is far better than the one letting you off the hook, or worse yet, talking you out of the better path.

Just show up

I shared this in an email home to parents recently:

While I know this has been a challenging year for many students and families, I think it’s important this time of year, as we head into a report card next week, to remind families of how important attendance is at our school. Students with significant absences tend to fall into a very unhealthy loop that includes:
Falling behind in work; Telling parents they work better at home, but missing key instructions to help them at home; Not getting the support they need; Not feeling good about being behind and finding reasons to avoid school.

Ultimately, we can’t help students that aren’t here at school, and the best ‘medicine’ for a student with too many absences is a dedication to getting to school as long as health conditions don’t prevent it. This isn’t a problem we can find a solution for without parent support. Please contact us if you’d like to discuss attendance further. I, or one of our team, will be contacting some of you after report cards go out.

—-

Report cards have now gone out and I will be calling a few parents to talk about concerns we have around poor attendance.

We live in a society now where there is so much pressure to do well; to be your best; to shine. It’s not easy. But sometimes the message doesn’t have to be ‘you are awesome’, ‘you have so much potential’, or ‘push yourself’. Sometimes the message of ‘just show up’ is all we need to hear.

  • Don’t plan an hour workout, just show up at the gym.
  • Don’t worry about how much you have to do, just start.
  • Don’t create a huge ‘to do’ list, pick 2-3 things you know you can get done and check those off… even if showing up is one of those things!

It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than thinking your way into a new way of acting. ~Richard Pascale

Just show up!

Putting the work into a workout

Sometimes it’s ok to just go through the motions of a workout. Put your time in and get it done.

Maintenance.

But other times need to be dedicated and focused. Maintenance doesn’t move you forward. Status quo doesn’t invite growth.

Sometimes what needs to be consistent is effort. Sometimes dedication means putting in extra time, extra energy, extra focus.

I guess that I’m not just talking about working out.