Category Archives: Daily-Ink

Mind-body connection

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Sometimes I spend too much time in my head. To anyone that knows me, this is not a surprise. It started young. I could spend hours with my imagination and not get bored. In some ways it’s a superpower and in others my Kryptonite.

One of the positive byproducts is that in high stress situations I can keep my calm. I can sit ‘in my head’ and assess things without really raising my anxiety. This has been something that has proven quite useful.

One of the negative byproducts is that sometimes I miss things, I lack awareness or even emotion. I can be distant and unaware. Sometimes that unawareness extends to my own body. I don’t feel a mind-body connection. This can be challenging in a couple ways. Emotionally it can mean that I feel my emotions in my head, more like a thought than a feeling. Physically it can mean that I don’t know how to focus my strength in a workout, and I don’t necessarily feel the muscle I’m trying to work on.

I think these are things I can improve, and I do, but change is slow, and I don’t always want to put the effort in. I more often than not just prefer to live in my head. This can make it challenging for me in new social environments. It’s also what helps me not worry about what others think and allows me to be myself.

Still, if there are a couple places that I could definitely improve, they would be a better connection to my body, and to others… basically better engagement beyond my head.

Hindsight is 10/20

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When we look back at things in our past, we really don’t see things 20/20. There is no perfect memory, no perfect reflection on things long past. We don’t have 20/20 hindsight vision, it’s more like 10/20.

You remember that amazing moment that you cherish? …You probably don’t remember the struggle to get you there.

You remember that infuriating exchange with someone? …You probably don’t remember the insight you gained, or how you changed your behavior for the better afterwards.

We recall special memories, (hopefully far more good ones than bad ones)… the stories we tell and retell with nostalgia, held up as if they are 100% true. Perfect reflections of what actually happened. But each of these memories are tempered with emotions that require our memories to fit the story we want to tell.

Our we making them up? Yes and no. No we aren’t fabricating them with an intent to misconstrue what actually happened. But yes, we are making them up because we are only choosing to tell the part of the story that fits the narrative.

Hindsight is far from perfect. It’s just us highlighting the parts of our lives that give us meaning and purpose. If it was 20/20 we wouldn’t hold on to the memories the way we do. We need to cloud our vision of past events to make them worth keeping.

Time warp

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It’s hard to believe that we are at the end of the school year. As I reflect back the year seems to be a blur.

The older I get the greater time warps. Looking forward, future events can seem so far away, then looking back the same amount of time can seem like it was just yesterday. A week to wait for something can seem like forever, yet a month can fly by… even if that month included a week that felt like forever.

I often wonder if our brains get affected by our age, not just from a metabolic standpoint but from our perspective. To a 10 year old 5 years is half of a lifetime. To a 50 year old it’s just 10%. So now that I’m in my late 50’s, a year can fly by as a somewhat insignificant amount of time.

It just reminds me to appreciate each day. To find in each day a moment worth remembering, with reflecting on. Or at least a moment worth enjoying. Take away these moments and the days, weeks, and even years slip by… almost unnoticed.

We live in time warps, where the perception of time fluctuates. If we don’t want time to disappear on us, it’s up to us to spend time wisely, and meaningfully.

We need to create moments, not seize them, but rather savour them, find joy in them, and cherish them.

Sharing voice in a democracy

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I have a bit of renewed faith in humanity. I’ve always had it, but it shines a bit brighter today. I feared the worst, although I did not want to see it. And happily it did not come. Yesterday millions of people matched in the ‘No Kings’ and they were peaceful.

Peaceful protest is essential in a democracy. Violence begets violence. We need systems in place to allow voices to be heard and not harmed. We need avenues to share anger and upset that do not involve fists or weapons.

Yesterday proved that it’s possible. In the coming days we will determine if the peace remains and if the voices were heard. And I for one would like to remain optimistic.

The real alignment problem

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‘The alignment problem in artificial intelligence refers to the challenge of ensuring that AI systems act in accordance with human values and intentions. It involves making sure that these systems pursue the goals we set for them without unintended consequences or harmful behaviors.’

~ Auto-generated on DuckDuckGo

The real alignment problem is what human values are being aligned?

Do you want AI aligned with strict religious beliefs? Nihilism? Capitalism?

The point is, we can’t agree on what human values we want so how does AI align pluralistically? And furthermore, when AI achieves super intelligence, why would it bother to align with us?

The real alignment problem comes in two parts:

  • The what? Align with what human values.
  • The why? Why would a super intelligent AI want to align with our values?

The first part is something we will have to figure out. The second might just be decided for us, and not necessarily in our favour.

I saw it coming…

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On March 1st, I ended my blog post, ‘In Rome’s Shadow’, with this:

“The protests will start. The unrest will be violent. The response will escalate the violence. 

The worse part of this will be the lack of civility. Peaceful protest is part of democracy. Violent unrest and insurrection are weapons of tyranny. We aren’t going to see democracy and western principles prevail through force and violence. Instead we will just see a once vibrant nation that promised its people a dream and left it in the shadows of ruin.”

In that post I also said,

“I actually want to see the US survive and even thrive, because I think that democracy and world peace are likely both casualties of a fallen US ‘empire’.”

So as we head into the weekend with a cold war styled showboating military parade and a countrywide series of ‘No Kings’ protests, I’m hoping to see peaceful protests and an uneventful parade with no violence and no sensationalized reporting. But I fear the worst.

I fear that this might be the start of civil unrest like none ever seen south of our border before. As a Canadian, I want to see America thriving. I want the metaphorical tide to help lift up all ships. But I truly fear a titanic level sinking. I wonder though, is this democracy drowning, or is this a submerged democracy fighting to the surface?

We’ll see in the upcoming days.

Planned ‘No Kings’ protests

Fees and services

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Have you noticed how customer convenience is no longer a priority? We are consumers to be targeted for maximum profit. It’s not a world where the customer is always right, but rather the customer is always ripe… for squeezing out a few dollars more.

Example 1: I went to book a flight for my summer visit to see my mom in Toronto. In the airline website the lowest price didn’t even include a carry-on bag, just a personal item. When I looked at the next price option up, with the only added feature being a carryon bag, the cost was over $140 more. That’s before paying even more to pre-select a seat.

Example 2: We used to pay for premium channels on TV, they still had commercials but they also had movies and shows regular cable didn’t have. Along came streaming. Anytime watching and no commercials. You pay a premium and you avoid those annoying interruptions. Now commercials are back unless you pay a premium on top of your premium.

Everything is tiered not to provide you with better service, but to make the tiers such that you never want the cheap deals. No, you are enticed into paying more to get what you used to get for less. You are priced out of the deal that got you to consider the purchase, and put into flashy named premium, executive, and luxury levels that cost more to add features that you used to expect as the basic minimum.

“Bundle and Save!”

This sounds great, if the bundle didn’t actually just give you things you actually needed. If the bundle really added luxury rather than essentials. Who travels from Vancouver to Toronto with just a purse or a small backpack that can fit under the seat in front of you? Is that really an option? 

‘Customer’ used to mean more than a ‘mark’ to be deceived and taken advantage of with added fees for basic necessities. Good service used to be a value added, not an added service charge. It used to be that fees and services added real value, but now they are simple a means to expect the customer to pay more… for less.

Lost in sensationalism

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We’ve lost our plot as a species. We’ve lost our way. I haven’t been a fan of the news for a while now, but I still see enough of it to be disappointed and underwhelmed.

“If it bleeds, it leads.”

Give us the dirt, highlight the disaster, sensationalize everything. If it’s not a big enough story, find a more controversial angle. And sadly, if that’s not enough, exaggerate. Or worse yet, perpetuate a blatant lie… which is somehow ok by news standards because then they are still reporting (fact-checking can come later). This is awful because when you highlight a lie over and over it becomes more believable. It becomes the story. The apology or correction won’t get the same attention.

And we eat it up. We share before we fact check. We trust one-sided narratives, especially when they sensationalize in our favour. Meanwhile we are equally quick to discredit the ‘other side’ as fake news.

We are lost in sensationalism. And we can’t seem to find our way out. Polarizing points are thrown at us. Anger, hate, disgust, and disasterare worth our attention. Nothing else matters, nothing else makes the headlines, gets retweeted, or reshared, or discussed on podcasts and news stations.

And now AI is producing such realistic video content that it’s almost impossible to know if what you are watching is real. This is like putting sensationalism on steroids. Pump up the fake news, create doubt and division. Promote anger and disgust. Get those clicks, those likes, those reposts, and you will be financially rewarded. So what if you also leave everyone upset, confused, and lost.

Not listening

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It was an accumulation of being busy and getting poor sleep, but last night I hit a wall. I could tell my body was heading to a crash because of the tell-tale sign for me… feeling constantly dehydrated. That’s my cue to slow things down. But I couldn’t, I didn’t slow down, and so my body gave me the metaphorical middle finger and said, enough.

Is it too cliche to say that we need to listen to our bodies? I’ve been better in some aspects. I’ve been taking more consistent rest days in my workout schedule. I’ve done a few lunchtime 4-5 minute walks through our ravine trail next to my school. I’ve been more thoughtful than usual about my diet.

I need to also listen to my body, take the cues, and then focus on my physical as well as mental wellbeing. And if need be, take a sick day. I’ve pushed through too many times and the results are always a longer recovery, all the while being less resourceful than usual. I’m a slow learner, but I’m learning to listen to my body.

New student day

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Today our Grade 9 students will lead us as we welcome next year’s new students to spend the day with us. Being a school that doesn’t have a catchment, we get only 1-3 students from each middle school, and a few from a neighbouring homeschool program. So come September students don’t really know anyone.

This day relieves the anxiety of the first day of September. It introduces new students to our small community and shows them how welcoming our student body is.

They will learn about us and our routines, and equally as important, they will meet their classmates. I love seeing students excited in September to reconnect with students they met today. Excitement rises, anxiety lowers, and it helps us get the year started right.

It’s a very busy day with a PAC pot luck and meeting to end the day, but it is worth it to help pull our community together.