Tag Archives: retirement

Giving myself a break

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I haven’t worked out in a week. Yes, I’m on holidays. Yes, I give myself some slack on holidays and don’t expect to work out as often as I usually do… but I haven’t missed 3 days in a row in years and years, and so this is very unusual for me.

That said, I’m not going to beat myself up about taking this break. I’ll get a couple workouts in over the next week, and I’ll be back on track next week when I’m home. I think a lot about habits, I like maintaining streaks, and I am usually really hard on myself when I miss two days, much less a full seven.

So what’s different now? I think it’s knowing that this break won’t change what I do going forward. I have the confidence that not only will I get back to my routine, I also won’t make this a habit on holidays either. This has been an anomaly, not a new pattern. Knowing this allows me to be kinder to myself than I normally am. I’d say that has to be one of the first real benefits of retirement that I’ve noticed. Feels good.

On the move

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I’m on a plane headed to Toronto. It’s about to land. I’m going for a vacation to visit family and friends for a few weeks. The last time I did a holiday in October, I was living in China working at a school that had a week off in the month. It still feels weird taking a trip like this during the school year. I’m feeling like I’ve just had an extended summer, which will come to an end after this trip. It’s not.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be visiting at least 6 different cities/towns and will likely drive well over 1,500 km. The longest I’ll stay in any one place is 4 days, so I’ll be living out of a suitcase. Maybe this trip will be the thing that changes the gear in my head that feels like work is returning soon. Or maybe it’ll happen when I’m back home and into a routine?

Last Tuesday was the first time I went back into a school this school year. I visited a principal friend at a high school. Then on Thursday I visited my old school and spent some time with the new principal along with former staff and students. I had no pangs, I didn’t feel like I was missing out. The visits were great and then it felt good to leave.

Ultimately, I’m thrilled with my decision to retire. Zero regrets. I’m just not used to the fact that I’m this free to do what I want to do at this time of year. Thinking about it now, it’s nice to know that I don’t have to worry about a staff meeting on Monday. I just need to know if I’m sleeping on a couch or in a guest room? I like that question more than any that ever came out of a staff meeting.

Weighing on me

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It has been almost 6 weeks since I did the Everest the Crunch challenge. I was about 3-4 pounds lighter than my regular weight when I started it and I lost almost 7 pounds over the 2 days. I also lost my appetite during that time. Other than overall fatigue, getting food into me at the top of the crunch was the hardest part of the event. And I haven’t regained my appetite since.

Then I went on an 8 day hike of the West Coast Trail, and I can tell that the past 6 weeks have taken a bit of a toll on my body. I’m the lightest weight I’ve been in over 4 years. I recently took a body scan at my gym and my body fat percentage was 11%. I’ll note that this was after a workout, which tends to lower the result, but quite frankly that’s too low.

If I was a high performance athlete training for an event, that would be great, but walking around day-to-day at under 15% isn’t really ideal in my eyes… and being about 10 pounds lighter than my usual weight is not where I want to be. But I’m also not walking around hungry or feeling exhausted, so while this isn’t ideal, I also don’t think this is detrimental.

That said, my goal starting retirement was to bulk and add 10 pounds and instead I went completely the other way. I’m not going to lie, that’s weighing on me. It tells me that if I’m not in the gym 5-6 days a week, my body wants to drop weight. And now I’m heading out on a 3+ week holiday where I’m not going to have access to a gym for most of it, and I’m going to be eating out a lot. I want to add weight, but not burger and fries kinda weight.

My goal over this holiday is to not miss a meal, make healthy choices, and not think about stepping on a scale until I return. I’ll reevaluate my goals in November when I’ll finally have time to establish a retirement routine. Until then I just need to let go of where I am and where I want to be with regard to my weight.

*Note: I feel like a bit of an ass talking about accidentally losing 10 pounds when I know many people struggle to lose weight, but I’ve been there too. I was 20 pounds heavier than I am now and it took me 2.5 years to get to my current weight and another 4.5 to add 10 (desired) pounds. My experience has been that adding muscle is as hard or harder to do than losing fat, and watching myself lose 4.5 years of hard work is very discouraging. We are all on our own health journeys, I hope sharing mine doesn’t create unnecessary compressions in anyone else’s mind.

The life you want…

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I’m a fan of the comedian Jimmy Carr. I wasn’t really a fan until I heard him interviewed on the Diary of a CEO podcast and realized how insightful he is. He often shares his insights when he’s doing crowd work.

Tonight I saw a clip from his act and he said something quite profound. I don’t think it’s his original quote, I’ve heard variations of it before, but I like his version of the quote:

“The life you want is on the other side of the work you are avoiding.”

I spent a lot of years being a master procrastinator. I thrive on deadlines. I’ll meet them, I’ll do a good job. But I’ll stress the crap out of you if you are new to my last minute style. That’s not bragging, that’s not a superpower, that’s a coping strategy.

It’s also not the life I want. The problem is that my procrastination time is not always productive. My work avoidance leading up to an impending deadline is seldom time well spent.

Parkinson’s Law states that work will expand so as to fill the time available for its completion. Give me more time, I’ll fill it, but you won’t necessarily get a better result.

That said, time and again I’d get praise for the work I’ve done. But this quote is kind of a gut punch. It reminds me of all the things I’ve wanted to do, but avoided because I didn’t create the deadline and pressure to get things done.

To remedy this, I often share my goals publicly. This is how I hold myself accountable, how I stop avoiding the work I need to do. I announce my plans, share them widely, then I stop avoiding the work because I feel pressured to keep my word… and when I do this, I’m very effective.

I’ve been exercising regularly for years after putting it out into the world. I’ve written on this blog almost every day, minus a couple social media blackouts, since July 2019. I can commit to the life I want. I know I can. But that doesn’t mean that this quote doesn’t still hit me.

I know there are things I still avoid that I shouldn’t. I know there are times in my day and week that are very poorly used. As I head into retirement, I’m keenly aware that I’m going to have more time on my hands than I have had in the past. Am I going to fill that time unproductively, doing not much more than normal, with more procrastination time?

I’d like to think not.

I’m heading on holidays for a bit, but when I return, expect me to share some new goals… with deadlines.

Travel Day & Blog Delay

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We left the Tofino campground at 8:30 this morning and drove to, the northern tip of the West Coast Trail at Pachena Bay. After a quick lunch of heated up leftovers in the parking lot, we finalized our WCT backpack packing. Then we hoped on a bus to Port Renfrew/Gordon River, where we will start the trail after a night on the trailhead (followed by the mandatory, check-in and orientation).

But I’m still on the bus now, at 4:35pm with about 45 minutes to an hour to go and no cell service. The good news is the bumpiest 2+ hours are over. I’m so thankful that we are taking the bus today and not at the end of our trip. This would be a really hard ride to do after a 7-day camping trip.

Tomorrow we head out on the trail and I’ve heard cell service is spotty. I’m not going to try to post every day. I will still write every day, and I’ll eventually share my daily inklings, but I don’t know yet if they’ll show up as individual posts, or one post, or ???

So a heads up that my Daily-Inks are taking a hike, and will be not-so-daily until the 23rd or 24th.

Elk near Cowichan Lake,
taken from the bus.

Seizing, Not Squeezing

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Most of today was spent on the beach, listening to an audiobook. It was an absolutely beautiful sunny day in Tofino, and Dave and I took full advantage of the weather. This is our 3rd and final night van camping before our West Coast Trail adventure begins.

I am finding real value in having down time that doesn’t feel like it’s rushed. I’m not squeezing in down time, I’m making space for it… seizing, not squeezing.

It’s the most delightful part of retirement so far: Prioritizing myself rather than my calendar, (a calendar always filled with other people’s priorities).

Long Beach Wisdom

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Dave and I stopped at Long Beach on the way to Tofino just past noon today. Kristen and Paul from Boulder Colorado stopped to let us know that there was a black bear a little further down the beach.

We chatted for a bit then Dave mentioned that we just retired. Kristen said, “I’ll give you my Retirement speech: Retirement allows you to be in the moment for as long as the moment lasts.”

No reason not to extend the conversation. No reason not to have a serendipitous interaction. No rush.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get back to watching and listening to the waves come in.

First day hike

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Dave and I wanted to do something special on the first day of school as new retirees. I suggested hiking the Sea to Sky and taking the gondola down. We took the challenging route up. It was more technical than we expected, but totally doable. It took us a little over 2.5 hours.

What a great way to start the new school year. We might make something like this a new tradition.

Plans, not planning

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It feels a bit weird. Good, but weird. Tomorrow is the first day back to school for teachers and students. Usually this evening is one of feeling the real crunch of ‘back to school’. Normally about now I’d be thinking about my staff meetings, and making sure enough food is ordered. I’d also be thinking of my year goals and feeling the excitement that comes with all the potential for a great school year ahead. But instead of a whirlwind of planning circulating in my brain, I’ve got a few set plans… Starting tomorrow with going on a hike with a buddy who also just retired.

I didn’t expect to feel this mentally free. I thought the new school year pangs would still haunt me. They aren’t. I think one of the things that made this transition so easy is that I got to work closely with my replacement for half a year and I know my schools have been left in excellent, competent hands. There is a catharsis that comes with knowing the schools I loved for 13 and 14 years are going to continue to thrive.

So, no planning to do other than to pack a lunch, drinks, snacks, and an extra layer of clothing. No slideshow presentations, no greeting nervous new students. No big yearly school goals. No staff meetings, no district directives to regurgitate. No obligations to share videos for health and safety or harassment or violence in the workplace… And no onslaught of emails!

I honestly wasn’t sure how ready I was to leave it all behind until now. But I’ve got plans. First, a plan to go for a hike. Then a plan to do the West Coast Trail in a week and a half. And then a plan to spend 3 weeks in Ontario visiting family and friends. And finally a plan to figure out what the rest of retirement looks like… some time in November.

~

I wish everyone retuning to the new school year a great year ahead!

It finally feels official

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My last full day at work was in the first week of July. My last official day was July 31st. But the first real hint that I’ve retired was felt this past Wednesday, when all my Principal and Vice Principal colleagues headed to our board office for a full day of meetings… and I didn’t have to go. It was positively anticlimactic, because I treated it like any other day in my summer holidays.

I did receive an early morning text from a friend and she said, “First day back today. Going to miss trying to find my buddy in the crowd. Enjoy your day!!!!” So I had a frame to set up my thinking about the day and how different it was going to be. Still, I felt no pangs, nor did I feel any celebratory inklings. It just felt lucky to keep going with my summer.

The next big moment will be the first day of school. My Everest the Crunch buddy, Dave, and I are planning a hike on that day. Then just over a week later we are headed to Tofino, and then to do the West Coast Trail (WCT). Just over a week after we return from that, I’m headed to Ontario for 3 weeks in October.

I’ve said for weeks now, when people ask how I like retired life, “Ask me in November, when I’m home and my wife is going to work. Until then, I’m just having a nice extended summer.” That has been my assumed threshold where I figured the experience of retired life would really hit me. But I now feel it has come a little early.

Today I went for a long walk with Dave in my new hiking boots to get ready for the WCT. We walked from his place to the Crunch, did our first crunch since Everesting it (37 times up in less than 2 days, to reach the hight of Mt. Everest), then walked to Starbucks.

The one person in front of me in the line was old, wheelchair bound, and extremely slow. Twenty seconds or so after his transaction, while putting his wallet away, he got confused and pulled it out to pay again, until the cashier politely told him he already paid. Then I waited while he re-put-away his wallet and finally wheeled off. In all honesty, despite my thoughtfulness about his age and challenges, a process like this will often send negative thoughts through my head. I’d think things like, ‘Of course I only have one person in front of me and he takes more time than 3 people.’ Or something else unkind, not because I don’t understand or empathize, but because I’d take in a Murphy’s Law kind of belief system where I’d think I’m always the sucker that has to wait in the slowest lineup.

Today I realized I wasn’t in a rush. I didn’t have to run off to work or a meeting. I wasn’t pressed for time, on the clock, with places to go and people to meet. I could take the time to notice things like the barista asking this elderly man by name if he was eating in or outside so that she could bring him his drink and food when it was ready. And I could see the patience and kindness of the teller when she told this man he already paid. This wonderful man was a regular and this was his community coffee shop.

And I’m not in a rush. My head isn’t overflowing with plans, and my calendar isn’t filled with consecutive appointments. I am not on anyone else’s schedule. I can pause and appreciate a senior in our community being taken care of in a coffee shop by caring service workers who look out for him… And right then I really felt it. I’m retired. I didn’t have to wait until November.