Tag Archives: retirement

Settled, not settling

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When I moved to Vancouver, I lived a couple blocks from a corner market store that I went to regularly. I got to know the owner, and he treated me to day-old newspapers for free. Unsold papers were not paid for by him, he simply had to cut out the name and date on the front page to return and then recycle the rest of the paper… but he’d save one for me rather than recycle it. For a few months I was a regular reader of the paper news, something I’ve seldom done before or after that time.

In a box in my garage, I know I have a file with clippings I kept from that time. It has been 20+ years since I’ve even seen this file, much less read any of the articles in it. However, there is one article I clipped because at the time it seemed unsettling to me. It was an autobiographical article about an ambitious journalist who got married, had a kid, and completely shifted his priorities. He no longer had the desire to be a travelling journalist seeking news and adventures in foreign lands. Instead, he found joy and desire to be home, spending time with family, and walking his kid to school each morning.

The article was very well written, and convincing… And it bothered me. I remember putting the paper into the recycling bin, and a day or two later before taking it out on trash day, I decided to clip the article out. I was a single, 26-year-old and I decided to keep it as a sort of cautionary tale, a reminder to keep my goals at the forefront, and not ‘settle down’… Not let my aspirations go just because of family.

So why am I thinking of this now? A couple reasons. First, I was young and foolish and didn’t understand the joy of raising kids. But the real reason this came to mind is that now as I head towards the first September in 30 years that I’m not thinking about what I’ll be doing at school, I realize how much my priorities will change.

I recognize that so much of what I defined myself by was about being a teacher and a leader. And that’s gone now. Work defined a large part of my day, and that in turn structured how I identified myself. Without that, what am I? I can see this question getting existential for some retirees… but I’m seeing it in a really good light.

Family and friends, projects I’ve always wanted to get done, more time to write, and even time to cook. These are some of the things I’m going to settle into.

I thought I was keeping that article as a cautionary tale, but I kept it to understand the writer’s perspective, just not as soon as him. He wasn’t settling for less, he was getting settled with priorities that matter.

I’ve got the time

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Yesterday evening my cousin texted me that his brother is in town. So today I changed my plans and am heading to visit them this afternoon. I know that seeing my visiting cousin will include beverages… and no way to drive home safely, so I’ve packed a bag and will plan to stay the night.

I also know that with my ‘Everest the Crunch’ event starting on Friday, I can’t have a late night like this later in the week. So I just changed my plans and made the visit tonight instead of on the coming days.

I love having the flexibility to make last minute decisions like this. I think that’s going to be one of the best parts of retirement. Sure I love my routines, and maintaining good habits, but I also enjoy letting loose on short notice. Knowing that I have the time to do this, not just in the summer but beyond, is a real gift I’m looking forward to!

Everest The Crunch in a week!

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Dave Sands and I will be Everesting the Crunch starting a week from today. Our training has tapered, and we just need to stay injury free. This morning after a shoulder workout at the gym, we hopped onto the Crunch to do just one, and we created this video inviting people to join us next week.

I mentioned ‘Do hard things’ briefly in the video, this is something that has been on my mind a lot recently as I head into retirement. I’m not just going to the gym, I’m trying to make gains. I’m not just trying to go up the crunch again, I’m trying to walk up it 37 times in less than 48 hours, which involves walking up hill the distance of 2 marathons. I’m not just continuing my daily blog, I’m planning to write a book starting in November.

Hard things.

I think we find more meaning out of life when we try to do hard things. That said, I’m not trying to do it alone. We need to also make connections and maintain meaningful relationships. It means so much that I’m doing this with Dave, and it means so much to us that our family and friends will be there to support us.

So how are you going to fill your time?

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Since announcing my retirement I’ve heard different versions of the question, “So, what are you going to fill your time with?” at least a couple dozen times.

I guess that might be an issue for some, but not for me. I will fill my time. I will enjoy longer workouts. I will get more use out of my hot tub. I’ll write, and write, and write. I’ll edit videos. I’ll cook meals that take time to prepare. I’ll find more time to be outdoors.

I’ll be one of those people that complains about being more busy retired than when I worked.

My time will be filled.

My first phone

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It’s hard to believe that I’ve never owned my own phone. I’ve been an administrator since the mid 2000’s, and the job came with a phone. Before that my wife and I shared a phone… Why would we have needed our own phones?

With the end of the month retirement deadline looming, and a holiday to the interior on our agenda, it was time for me to head to the store and buy a phone in my own name. It’s seems rather odd to be saying that for the first time in 2026. Just think of all the changes that have occurred since I shared a flip phone with my wife.

How different are our lives? How much more focused on our phones are we? How much more do we rely on them for information, banking, entertainment, direction, and of course, communication?

I couldn’t imagine sharing a phone today… I’m having a hard time remembering how I did it 20 years ago!?!

On the move

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I feel like my last month has been nothing but packing up and moving:

  1. Retirement and leaving a building that was my work home for 13 years.
  2. Moving everything out of my bedroom and two upstairs bathrooms for a renovation/upgrade.
  3. Hopping on a ferry (this morning) and packing up my daughter. She’s heading back to the mainland next month to do her Masters.

Putting life’s ‘stuff’ in boxes, weeding out the unwanted, and still holding on to more than we should.

Moves are healthy. They are the times we actually do reminisce and recall the memories we cherish. They are also the times we let go of things that we should have long ago. That said, the unpacking is not nearly as much fun. It’s one of those things you’ve got to slog through, but it sure feels good when it’s all done!

Quantifying the day

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Summer days can be tricky. The routine of work is gone and schedules are made up on the fly. Today I had a great workout then spent the next 2 hours in the kitchen doing meal prep. Then I had a doctor’s appointment and decided to drop some food off at a friend’s house.

I had forgotten that there was a World Cup semifinal game and was lucky enough to join my friend for the second half, where all 3 goals were scored. As exciting as that was, I didn’t have a lot of sleep last night and was practically falling asleep on the couch. I came home and had a 20 minute nap before a massage therapy appointment this afternoon.

Now I’m home and heading out in a bit for dinner at a restaurant with my wife and our niece. Yesterday at noon, the only thing scheduled for today was my workout and the massage, everything else sort of came up after that. Looking back on the day now, it has been quite busy, which sounds ridiculous to say when a nap was part of the day.

I guess this is good preparation for retirement. What will constitute a busy day will be so much different than what the work day usually entails. I think I’ve had practice with summers off, but I do believe it’s going to feel quite weird when I see my wife heading off to work in September and my summer mode will continue.

I know my mindset, and I think I will need to figure out how I will quantify my days when retired. I have no desire to just make myself busy, but I also know that I can completely waste a day away if I’m not careful. I don’t yet know what my measurements or scales will be, but I will find a way to ensure that I feel good about how I spend my days.

I spent my day very well today.

My last paper book?

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I took a break from reading (listening to) books for a while. I finished a fantasy fiction back in December and then got on a streak of only listening to podcasts. Usually I find a good non-fiction or two between school breaks, then go back to a good fiction on holidays. But this March break I didn’t end up listening to anything and the school year-end (career-end) was too busy to start anything new.

It’s weird, but I do not remember what year was the last time I read a physical book? It might even have been pre-Covid… I honestly don’t remember! In fact, I haven’t read a digital book either for just as long. I’ve read countless articles, but a paper book is just not something I do anymore. There are books I’ve received as presents, of which I’ve liked the recommendation, and so I’ve purchased the audiobook version. There are two books at my bedside that I want to read, they are in a sort of ‘up soon’ category for me… but not until the audio version is available.

As I write this it kind of baffles me how much I’ve converted to audio. I mean, I don’t know if I’ll ever read a physical book again? I’m sure I will at some point, but I am realizing now that the act of reading another physical book will be an anomaly rather than the norm. This bothers me a little, but not enough to change my habits.

I still love a good book, but it seems like I’m really done with paper.

Unmasking

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We play different roles in the lives of different people: A child, a parent; an employee, an employer; a host, a guest; a friend, a foe. People get different views of you depending on both your relationship and the role you play in their lives. And we act differently in each of these roles. It’s like we have no one defined identity. We wear metaphorical masks that reveal only limited aspects of who we are, depending on the roles we are playing.

Having just retired from a 27 year career, I’m leaving behind a mask that I no longer need to wear. I’m not going to ‘play that role’ anymore. I’ve unmasked from that identity. I thought maybe I would feel a loss, but I feel more like I’ve removed an unneeded layer. It’s reassuring to feel this way, I made the right decision.

On Wednesday my wife organized a wonderful group of family and friends to celebrate my retirement, then I spent a few more days with my sister, my cousin, and his family. It was really special to have this time, around people I love, feeling fully unmasked and completely comfortable.

Today I popped by to visit my predecessors, something we planned last week. I saw someone in his element, ready to thrive. This is even more cathartic. As a leader, I did what I could to leave things as best as I could. The factor I had no control over was succession… that was up to my bosses, not me. To see that the right choice was made and that the conditions for things to improve are in the hands of someone capable, with the right philosophy, and the skills to be awesome, makes it even easier to let go.

I don’t know what new masks I will put on in the future, but it feels fantastic taking this one off. I feel like I wore this mask for just the right amount of time, and deep down I know it is time to remove and ‘retire’ it. I can’t describe how good it feels to know this.

Habit revamp

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Summer is here and I’m don’t have a morning routine anymore. I’m currently between sets at a gym I don’t usually go to, because last night I stayed with a cousin in a nearby city. I’m here 3 hours later than usual, which is perfectly ok, I really don’t need to be out of the house at 5:45 anymore… or anytime in the foreseeable future.

I don’t care about the actual time I work out, or write my daily blog post, or meditate, or take my vitamins, but I do care that I actually do these things very regularly. A perfect example is that today I went directly from cardio to weights and only now realize that I skipped my stretching routine… a key ingredient to keeping my back healthy and ready to do weights.

Basically I had a habitual routine that was rock soiled while I had a work schedule to plan my routine around, and now that’s gone. I’m not going to figure this out today, and new habits take a while to form, but I want to figure out a kind of flexible routine in terms of times of day, location, and summer plans. I don’t actually know how to do this, so it may be messy for a while. Even so, I know me, and if I don’t have systems in place I miss getting things done.

There is a saying that if you want something done, give it to a busy person. That was me for a long time, now that I have more time I really need to create systems that will ensure all the healthy habits I developed are part of my new patter and pace of life.