Author Archives: David Truss

In the shadows

I had a conversation yesterday with someone who carries very strong negative memories with them from something that happened many years ago. It wasn’t violent, and didn’t cause any trauma to their body, but it did to their mind. It was essentially an emotional bullying issue, one that especially hurt because it came from someone believed to be a friend. It hurt more because it wasn’t just a one-time thing, it was repeated.

As I listened, I was taken back by the hurt that was still carried. They say ‘time heals all wounds’, but I think sometimes ‘time wounds all heals’. Sometimes the passage of time does not separate us from emotional pain, rather time bathes us in it.

I think that’s why people end up self medicating. It’s easier to numb the pain than it is to face the pain that lurks in our memories, haunting us. The memory, the upset, the anger, or the pain, can seem as present and as relevant as things happening to us daily.

I’m not a psychologist, and I don’t play one on tv or the internet, but I asked this person a question.

I asked, when recalling the incidents, if they saw the experience through their own eyes or if they saw themselves in the memory as if they were watching a movie? The answer was ‘it’s like a movie’.

Aren’t our minds amazing things, that we can recall a memory and see ourselves in that memory! How does that work? We aren’t really reliving it if we can see it happening to us. It’s more like we are watching our own history. This gives us more power than we might think we have:

  • We don’t have to review our memories up close.
  • We don’t have to recall our memories in full colour or at full speed.
  • We can create new endings. Rewind and replay it.
  • We can literally put the memory into a television screen.
  • We can recall memories as still, black & white, blurry photos in old frames.

We can move memories into the shadows of our minds rather than have them fill our brains in full technicolor and splendour. We don’t have to get rid of them, (I’m not sure we can), but we can reduce their power over us. We can relegate the memories to less significance.

It’s similar to controlling anger. When something upsets us and makes us mad, how long do we hold on to that anger?

Let’s say you are driving to work one morning and someone cuts you off. I mean really cuts you off, you have to break hard and swerve into the curb lane to stop from hitting them and getting in an accident. You slam on the breaks and your horn simultaneously, but the other car drives off, seemingly oblivious to what they just put you through. How long do you hold on to that anger?

Is 5 minutes appropriate?

What about for the rest of your commute?

What about until everyone at work has heard your story?

How about until you’ve told your spouse when you got home.

How about the following week?

How about you recall the incident every time you pass that spot on the road on the way to work?

How long is it acceptable to hold on to that anger, to build up that moment in your mind? How long do you let that that angry moment in the past control your emotions in the present?

We have many memories that belong in the shadows of our mind, rather than in full colour and right in front of us.

If we can learn to not let the anger of a jerk that cut us off minutes, hours, days, or weeks ago control our present state or well being, couldn’t we do the same for something years in the past.

Maybe we can let time heal our wounds .

It may take practice, but if we’ve already changed the memory into a movie, seeing it from a perspective that we didn’t experience, then haven’t we already made changes that have removed us from the original experience? And if our minds can do that on their own, maybe we can choose to ‘see’ those memories in more distant and less angry ways. Maybe we can alter our past so that it interferes less with our present.

Missing the target

Today was to be the day. The last day of my 30 Day challenge to do a 30 second unsupported handstand. But I’m not there yet. I’ve already written about the challenge of making Incremental Improvements:

“We are often enamoured by the quick fix, the easy answer, fast and obvious results. But these quick rewards are not always available. Sometimes it’s the slow incremental changes that make us better, stronger, and more resilient. Sometimes we need to work through things slowly and properly in order to see the results we really want.”

The fact is that I’m getting stronger and closer to my goal. However I also have to be honest and say that I haven’t given it 100% of my effort. If I’m even more honest, this is something I tried and failed to do a year ago. A few days ago my Facebook memory from last year was a video of me doing a handstand against the wall and sharing that I wanted to do a one-minute handstand by the end of June ’19. I obviously failed or I wouldn’t have been doing a similar challenge again.

I’m on a good path and I’ll get there. I’ll set another goal. I’ll – share – my – progress, and I’ve got my buddy, Kelly, working – alongside me. I’ve missed my target, but my goal is within sight, and I’ll get there. I will continue to work on my strength, but I haven’t focussed enough on my balance. Working on strength has more tangible and rewarding results, so I’m not surprised that I put my focus there. Now it’s time to focus on the less glamorous aspects, where falling again and again are part of the learning.

The next time I share my road to a handstand here, it will be to show that I’ve achieved my goal… and I’m putting a note on my calendar that I want to reach that goal 30 days from today.

https://twitter.com/datruss/status/1252973978118844427?s=21

A world of meetings

Today is the first day in a while that I don’t have an 8:30am neeting, but I have one at 9, a long one at 10, then 12, 12:30. And 1pm. For almost four and a half hours I’ll be sitting at my desk staring at my computer screen in meetings. That’s less than what I had yesterday. And yesterday, I ended up on 3 one-on-one conversations with teachers, and a phone call with a student as well. I barely got out of my chair.

I know things will settle down. I value much of the work being done in many of these meetings, but right now I feel like these meetings are equally a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I still get to connect with colleagues and video helps me feel far more connected than voice alone. Cursed because many meetings could just be informational meetings take 1/10th of the time.

Spending 4-6 hours a day in meetings is not efficient or effective, and some days even small ‘to do’ lists are taken home, or added to tomorrow’s list.

What’s really making this tough is that when I normally have days like this, I can take a break by walking down the hall and checking in on kids. I can peek in on teachers teaching a class. I can sit in a busy staff room and join a conversation. My daily 12:30 meeting is a staff check-in organized by the teachers and still feels like this, but for the most part I miss the opportunities to connect with students and teachers in a busy school… and I’m getting a bit tired of non-stop meetings.

The tightrope balance of parenting

Yesterday I recorded a podcast with Dave Sands and we discussed 7 PARENTING TIPS to help navigate the challenges of students LEARNING AT HOME during the Covid-19 pandemic. This got me thinking about how different kids are, and how hard it is to be the perfect parent for a kid.

Parents hold an imbalance of power over kids, who are in a constant state of growth. With growing up comes both more responsibility and more expectation of freedom. These things do not develop at the same speed, and our expectations will often be mismatched with our kids expectations. When it comes to how much choice and freedom kids are given versus how much of that choice and freedom they feel they deserve, parents will often think of the child they were dealing with a few months ago, while kids feel like they’ve grown up since then.

Some parents navigate this well, but many struggle. Some hold on to power over their kids to keep them safe. In doing so, they can create resentment because they are being too strict. Some parents give too much power to kids too soon, and kids tend to take advantage of that power and make poor decisions. Some parents get it right with respect to some expectations, and totally wrong with others. This can relate to chores, use of money, curfews and bedtimes, use of technology, eating habits, manners, homework, and all sorts of household rules and expectations.

The thing is, that some kids need more structure and more guidelines, and some kids need more freedom and choice, an it’s a tightrope balancing act not just to figure this out for a kid, but also to recognize that what works for one kid might not work for another… even in the same household with the same parents! To give a concrete example, one kid might need parameters around getting homework done, because without that support they won’t get it done, while an older or younger sibling might be able to do homework completely independently, without any parent supervision or support. Having different rules for these kids can create tension and so can having the same rules and not providing the freedom and responsibility that the more responsible kid deserves (especially if the one that deserves more freedom is the younger of the two).

So parenting tips are something that will always be tricky to give. What works for some, doesn’t work for all. That said, I really think Dave Sands and go over some ideas that are not prescriptive, but rather they are things to think about when trying to deal with kids learning at home… no matter how you currently parent or how good or challenging your kids might be. Here are the tips:

1. Manage Expectations
2. Make a Schedule
3. Minimize Distractions
4. Learning occurs everywhere
5. Set daily and weekly goals
6. All screen time is not created equal
7. Model learning.

I think there is something of value here for every parent. Please check the podcast out, and let me know what you think.

What will it look like?

A few days ago I wrote a post This is not the ‘new normal’, and I said,

“This is not the ‘New Normal’, this is a pandemic that will come to an end. This is temporary.”

This morning I ‘met’ Dave Sands on Zoom and we recorded a podcast. We spent about an hour online together and it was great to ‘see’ him. The fact that this was not face-to-face didn’t matter that much. In fact, I’ve ‘seen’ Dave much more in the last few weeks than I have in months. The reason for this is that we’ve connected almost daily on Microsoft Teams for work, since the March break ended 3 weeks ago. But I would have loved to have Dave over to do the recording. To sit and have coffee and enjoy his company along with the conversation.

This afternoon my wife and I joined another couple in their back yard. We sat apart, respecting ‘social distancing’ norms. We brought our own cups and drinks, and left after only touching the chairs we sat on. No handshakes, no hugs, no communal snacks or drinks. This was our first social gathering like this in about 2 months. It was wonderful to connect.

This is not the new normal, but I wonder what the new normal will look like? Will we be less likely to greet people with hugs and handshakes? Yesterday I saw a girl and her dad at a crosswalk. The young girl looked like she was about 4 years old. She got off her bike and ran to press the crosswalk button… with her elbow. Will we ever look at things like elevator buttons, public handrails, and door handles the same way?

Part of me thinks that things will eventually return to a normal that resembled what it looked like in 2019, but part of me wonders about social norms and practices, and how these will change? Will we bow to greet someone rather than shake their hands, hug, or fist bump? Will restaurant workers preparing our food all wear masks? Will we carry hand sanitizer everywhere we go and use it constantly?

We are months and months away from any kind of normal, but when that normal arrives, how many norms and social practices will have changed as a result of Covid-19 pandemic.

4 Tips for Microsoft Teams Video Meetings

Here is a quick video that I created with 4 tips for running video meetings in Microsoft Teams.

Here is a shortened slide show:

 

And here is a PDF Version: PDF-4-Quick-Tips-for-Microsoft-Teams-Video-Meetings-by-David-Truss. This includes a link to my post: Having Back Channel Support in an Online Video Class.

The first 3 tips are very basic, but I think thoughtful implementation of a good ‘backchanneller’ is something even seasoned presenters can benefit from.

I enjoy creating and sharing videos. My last one, though instructional, was a bit more creative. This one was focused on getting the information out while being both fast and informative. As always, feedback appreciated.

I declare a news free day

I need a break. The fact is that I’ve never been a fan of the negativeness of the news. Before the pandemic I rarely watched news on television, now my wife watches the evening news and I join her. I hardly ever searched for daily news articles on my phone, now I check my Flipboard news 2-3 time a day, and I follow the stats of the Coronavirus.

Before this pandemic hit, I used to keep abreast of what’s going on in the world by checking out the trending hashtags on Twitter. Most of these are fun, but if a big world event happened then I could search that hashtag for a link from a reliable source and get caught up.

Today I’m doing none of that. Today I will enjoy a day knowing that the world will get along fine without my attention. Today I will permit myself to be blissfully ignorant to what’s happening beyond my work day and family time.

The news can wait… I’m taking a break.

Ps. Here’s Some Good News that I watched a few days ago… this I could get used to watching regularly, after my break today.

Just for the fun of it

I came across this video and it made me smile.

With people spending more time at home, I think creative little challenges like this aren’t only fun, they also bring us together. It reminds me of a motto from a comedy channel on TV that was, “Time well wasted.”

Challenge accepted!

This is not the ‘new normal’

Note to educators:

This is not the ‘New Normal’, this is a pandemic that will come to an end. This is temporary.

We need to be positive. Communicating that this is ‘normal’ is not encouraging to students or parents. 1/3

* This is an opportunity to try new things.

* We are learning at a distance only until we can work together again.

* What a pleasure it is that we can still see each other online.

* Aren’t we lucky to be living at a time when we still get to share experiences digitally! 2/3

Let’s face it, the term ‘New Normal’ is going to be tossed around a lot outside of education, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t construct positive vocabulary and language around these unusual times, in our digital classrooms, and in our communication home. 3/3

That is a thread of 3 tweets that I shared yesterday, and I want to add a little perspective:

Imagine being a grade 12 graduating this year and it was your last high school play that got cancelled, or your final season of Track and Field, or your graduation dinner-dance.

Imagine that you come from a single parent home, your parent works 10 or 12 hour shifts, you have siblings that you don’t get along with, and your daily escape to school is gone.

Imagine that you are 6 years old, and you can’t have a play date, can’t use the playground, and can’t spend time with your grandparents, who usually visit you every weekend.

Imagine any one of thousands of scenarios where your routines, your friendships, your family structures, your family financial well being, and all of your extra-curricular activities are disrupted.

Now let’s just call this the ‘New Normal’… No.

COVID-19, schools closing, and ‘social distancing’ have taken so much away from our kids, let’s not take ‘normal’ away from them too.

Podcasting-Pairadimes-by-David-Truss

Conversations worth having

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had some wonderful conversations that I’ve had on Zoom and recorded for my podcast.

I’ve known Kelly Christopherson since I started blogging in 2006. We’ve never met face-to-face, yet I’ve spent years learning with and from him. His philosophy that ‘Every day is a professional development day’ is something I enjoy following on Twitter daily.

I met Jonathan Sclater in late 2011 or early 2012, and was fascinated by his Imaginative Learning classroom. I didn’t realize until this talk that I helped to push Jonathan into blogging and sharing his practice digitally.

Joe Truss and I connected on Twitter last year. We had a quick conversation about our last names, trying to see if we had any connections. That conversation led me to learn more first about his school’s meditation practices, and then about his inspiring work promoting culturally responsive leadership.

One thing that all four of us have in common is that we have taken to physically taking care of ourselves, and that has led us all into more resilient spaces where we have more to offer than we did before. Working in education can seem all-consuming at times and that often leads to poor habits around physical fitness and taking care of ourselves. The idea that a healthy body promotes a healthy mind is one that we have all been working on, and that comes through in all three podcasts.

I love having these conversations, and I think it’s wonderful that I get to share them. I also like that they are conversations that are as long as they need to be… they aren’t 3-5 minute sound bites, but rather full conversations. This is something I’ve enjoyed about listening to podcasts myself and I’m glad that these wonderful educators were willing to share their time with me… And you…
I’ve shared the podcast descriptions below along with links (names and images) for you to get to the podcast page to listen to them. Enjoy!

Kelly Christopherson: “Every Day is a PD Day!” Kelly and I have been connected online for 14 years, starting on a blogging platform called ELGG, which included a number of different educator communities and social networking apps that predated Facebook and Twitter. Although we have never met face-to-face, we have been connected members of each other’s personal and professional learning networks.

Jonathan Sclater is an Elementary School Principal in Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada. He completed a Master of Education curriculum studies degree in Imaginative Education from Simon Fraser University in 2011, and he was awarded The Prime Minister’s Award for Teaching Excellence in 2012. Jonathan is passionate about using imaginative thinking in his role now as a lead learner. We discuss Imaginative Learning and the importance of taking care of ourselves in order to be able to give more of ourselves as leaders.

Joe Truss and I start the conversation off talking about taking care of ourselves so that we can be better leaders. Then we move on to meditation in schools, and then on to what it means to be a culturally responsible leader. The focus is on hearing the voices of the disadvantaged, and power differences for those that are disadvantaged, including students in relation to teachers and adults. “Moving from more equitable to equal.”