Monthly Archives: February 2023

Online rather than cancelled

It started to snow massive snowflakes just before 3pm. I looked at the forecast and after a lull at 5pm there was a good chance of the snow continuing to fall for a few hours. Our school is at the lowest end of the city, not far from the Fraser River, and so when it’s snowing here, it’s a lot worse elsewhere… including at my house only 3.5 kilometres away.

We had a Parent Advisory Council (PAC) meeting scheduled for 7pm. I called my PAC Chair and she and I decided to move the meeting online, rather than hybrid as we’ve offered the rest of this year.

I sent a quick email out and we made the switch. Turnout was similar to when we have the meeting blended… and no one had to drive in our hilly city where snow ploughing doesn’t always happen in a timely manner. As it turned out, the snow wasn’t as bad as it could have been, and we probably could have held the meeting at the school. However, it could easily have been bad enough to cause issues for parents coming to and leaving the meeting.

Five years ago we would have either kept the meeting as planned with a poor turnout, or postponed the meeting. The idea of hosting the meeting online would not have been something we would have considered. But last night it was ‘business as usual’ with a full agenda and everyone meeting from the comfort or their homes.

A few weeks back I was in a meeting that someone was stuck in traffic for, and he listened in from his car. Before that, I was home with a bad cough, and was still able to join in remotely for a meeting that I really wanted to attend. It’s interesting how practices can change in a relatively short time. This can also have negative consequences, like expecting someone to join a meeting remotely even when sick or on vacation (not just by expectation, but also from a sense of obligation). But it can also be extremely convenient, saving hours of transportation time. I’m running a meeting on Friday and while 12 principals from across the province will be meeting at my school, most will come from nearby, and another 8 will join us online, saving themselves from ferry and plane trips, or from very long drives.

There is real value in meeting face-to-face and online meetings can be void of that connection you have in a physical meeting… but the convenience of meeting online is pretty amazing, and when it comes to things like inclement weather, a switch to remote instead of cancelling is a pretty good option!

Time and attention

This is going to be one extremely busy week. I don’t usually get stressed out about about my schedule but I’ve got so much going on, pulling me in so many directions, that I get tired just thinking about it. Just cancelled a meeting I want to do, but know that it’s optional. This week is about focus and clearing my schedule for the big items.

Sometimes I can get a bit lost in doing the little things and in following the most recent issue in front of me. This week I need to keep my attention on the ‘must do’s’ and stay focused. Distractions need to be at a minimum. What I have control over is my attention. What I pay attention to gets my time. It’s a simple formula, but not always easy to follow… especially as a school administrator.

Sometimes emergent issues rule the day. Many times the priorities of others become my issues. But there are days when I need to look to others for support. Times when I need to ask others for help. And this week, I need to focus my attention on the things that need to get done right away. What I pay attention to gets my time… and this week time is precious.

Monochromatic cars

In a world of flashy outfits and accessories how has the car remained a single colour for so long? I understand that for some people resale value is important, but there are a lot of old cars out there just waiting to become someone’s work of art. We live in a world where so many people do things to stick out, but car paint has stayed monochrome. One colour per car.

I think this is going to change a lot in the next few years. We are going to see some crazy looking cars, and people will use them to express their identity, their uniqueness. Maybe not just artwork, maybe different colours for different parts of the car. Shades of a colour accented with darker hues on fenders and over wheels. A complementary colour on the hood.

It’s coming. Flashy cars for flashy personalities. And crazy artwork for people wanting to express their love for creativity. It’s just a matter of time.

The 4 ‘D’s leading to office discipline

It was early on in my first job as a vice principal. The position was in a middle school just a few kilometres away from the middle school I taught at for 9 years to start my career. Our secretary came to tell me that a student had been sent down to the office. I sat down with him in my office and he told me why he was sent there.

“Really, that’s all you did?” (I was sure he was leaving something out, I’d never send a kid down to the office for this.)

“Yes!” He said defensively.

We worked out an apology, and rehearsed it, and I sent him back down to his class. Minutes later he was back up at the office. I looked at him quizzically and he quickly responded to my unspoken question, “Mr. Truss, I did exactly what you told me to!”

After a bit of back-and-forth I took him back down to the class and waited for a an appropriate moment to talk to him and the teacher together. It became very evident that she had no interest in letting him back in the room. This surprised me for two reasons:

First, as mentioned, this minor altercation was nothing me or my peers at my previous middle school would ever have sent a kid to the office for. In my eyes, sending a kid to the office was essentially telling the kid, “I cant manage you,” which takes away any leverage I may have the next time this student has any challenging behaviour.

Secondly, why not take him back? I verified with the teacher that the students wasn’t downplaying the behaviour, he was apologizing, and he wanted to come back to class. But the teacher was not interested. I offered to come in with him and that got us passed the impasse.

When I started writing this, my intention was going to be on empathy and growth in understanding that not every student, teacher, or principal is just like me, and how important it is to understand this. But as I was sharing the story above I remembered my 4 D’s that led to the rare occasions I’d send a kid to the office. I wrote about this back in 2008, and I’ll share them here:

________

In 9 years as a teacher I have made very few classroom issues into office issues. I have 4 D’s that I think are issues that should be dealt with at an office level. The first two D’s are cut-and-dry/immediate office issues. These are ‘no-brainers’, you break these rules and you go to the office!

1. Drugs- Alcohol is included in this category;

2. Dangerous- Not just weapons, but physical violence too. The best policy is a zero-tolerance policy… We don’t solve problems this way.

The next 2 D’s have some grey area between being an issue for the office and being an issue that I handle myself. They are:

3. Defiance- an absolute refusal to participate and/or co-operate. If you don’t come to class prepared to learn, or if you aren’t willing to participate with the class… If you can’t offer me 5% of what I am offering you, then that probably hinders my ability to give everyone else the time and attention they deserve. I obviously can’t help you, so there is no reason for you to be here. I’ve only ever had one student absolutely refuse to engage in learning to this point. I honestly felt that it was a disservice to keep him in the class and made this the reason to send him to the office. (I have used this as ‘leverage’ with other students in the past- not an ideal strategy, but sometimes a student needs to know that you have limits);

and the final ‘D’,

4. Disrespect- If you are going to treat me, or others in a way that is hurtful, if you are going to ‘injure’ others emotionally/socially… then we have a problem. Hitting someone, or physically hurting someone puts you in the ‘Dangerous’ category and becomes an immediate office referral. Disrespect on the other hand is a little different. If you emotionally or socially injure someone then you are defying one or two of our school beliefs : Respect and/or Inclusion.

________

In ‘administering’ these rules, #3 and #4 had to be pretty extreme to get sent to the office. Otherwise, I handled them myself. But that’s me. Some teachers would be faster to send students away to be dealt with out of class. I just always felt that the most important relationship was between me and the kid. So, while #1 and #2 were likely immediate grounds for an office visit, #3 and #4 only resulted if the relationship was broken such that the defiance and/or disrespect didn’t allow me to be the teacher anymore. At that point the student is clearly a disruption to the class and I’m unable to manage it.

I think in my time as a teacher, I could count on one hand how many kids I ended up sending to the office, but looking back now, I probably should have asked for help a few more times. It’s good to try to hold on to the relationship with a kid, but sometimes a little help and support could go a long way. And I think having clear lines of what constitutes needing that help is a good place to start.

Chilly outside

I really don’t like the cold. I am the Caribbean kid who used to get out of the ocean when it started raining because the sun was covered by a cloud and the ocean was too chilly for me. I need to warm tap water up to rinse my mouth out after brushing my teeth. I sleep with a toque on because my head gets chilled.

There is a cold streak here and I just want to spend the day under the covers. I won’t have to spend much time outside, basically just getting to and from the car and that’s already feeling like too much. Yes, I’m whining. No, it’s not that bad. But sometimes I wish I’d never left Barbados. Or that I came to Canada much younger so that I wouldn’t know anything different.

I’ll bundle up. I’ll brave the cold. I’ll remind myself that it really doesn’t get too cold here compared to other parts of the country… but I’ll also whine a bit. ‘Baby it’s cold outside’. And I don’t like it.

You don’t know

One of the challenges of being an educator… Sometimes you don’t know.

You don’t know that the way you say something triggers a kid.

You don’t know that a kid missed breakfast, or that they didn’t have anything in the house they could have for breakfast.

You don’t know that after school they have to fend for themselves, and maybe a younger sibling too.

You don’t know how abusive a parent is.

You don’t know how stupid a kid feels.

You don’t know how crippling perfectionism is.

You don’t know the root cause of misbehaviour.

You don’t know the bullying was happening until it went too far.

You don’t know how important your validation is.

You don’t know how hard the learning challenges really are.

You don’t know that the distracted kids really wants to pay attention but the distractions are too loud in their heads.

Sometimes you don’t know what you needed to know about a kid to be a better teacher for them.

Ah, but then sometimes you don’t know…

How appreciated you are. How much you are looked up to. How valuable your connection is to a kid for whom you are the only caring adult that listens to them.

Sometimes you don’t know that the joke you shared in class was the only smile a kid had that day. That you make a kid feel smart. That you are the only person to give a kid a 4th chance because life isn’t baseball and no kid deserves only 3 strikes.

Sometimes you don’t know how valuable you are to the kids, the families, and the community you serve.

Uniting the divide

Yesterday I wrote ‘the great divide‘ about religions and their divisiveness. Then my friend, (and former university prof whose class I first sat in about 35 years ago), Al Lauzon commented:

I think we need to diffrentiate religion as faith and religion as an institution. I think it is religion as an institution that propagates violence and misrepresents religion. Aldous Huxley wrote a book called the Perennial Philosophy where he argues that religions can be traced to their mystical origins, and in those mystical findings there is a unified message. The difficulty is the institution then distorts the essence of its founding over time. We see a renewed interest in spirituality over religion and spirituality is about developing a personal relationship with the transcendent. It is about taking one’s own personal authority about one’s relationship with the transcendent rather than the authority of a religious institution. We can be religious without being spiritual, we can be spiritual without being religious or we can be religious and spiritual. Remember, it is taking responsibilty and authority for our own “religious beliefs” that matters. There are mysteries that we will never understand and it is these mysteries that are the beginning of faith.

And then I noted the ‘related posts’ that show up on my blog, and there were two that referenced this proverb:

There are many ways to the top of a mountain, but the view from the summit is the same.

In March 2021 I wrote:

There are many faiths that set people on virtuous paths. There are many secular people who choose to be virtuous without faith or organized religion. If each of these different people live a good life, are they not heading to the same or similar summits? Do they not deserve the same view?

And in March 2022 I wrote:

…good people are good people. If they are on a good and kind path, it doesn’t matter what their faith, background, or ideology is. If they are on a path to being the best they can be, if they are doing their part to make this a better world for themselves, their friends, and their community, well then they are on a good path. It doesn’t have to be the same path as me.

While religions can be divisive, spirituality can unite us. Whether it’s being spiritual from within an organized religion, with one’s own beliefs, or even as a non-religious person, we have the ability to be kind, loving, and feel connected to others and the universe around us. It is in transcending religious institutions, and rigid beliefs that segregate us from common spiritual aspirations, that we will find we have a lot in common with our neighbours… be they across the street or across the globe. Transcending religion, and yet seeking to be spiritual. That’s a path worth taking, worth sharing, and worthy of striving towards.

The great divide

I have been thinking a fair bit about religion recently and the power of belief. People devote their entire lives to the words from a book. Be it the Bible, the Qur’an, the Torah, the Bhagavad Gita, or another text, their book is the path to first a good life, and then to heaven, or a better next life… something beyond this current existence. It’s a compelling desire, to think that this life is not all there is to live, and to put faith in an everlasting existence.

I think that many people find happiness in being faithful, in following their faith. I think the solace it can provide is wonderful for people facing grief, or struggles that they find hard to face. Religions have fostered community and caring for others in very charitable ways. Faith has given people strength they did not know they had.

But faith has also instigated wars, tyranny, and hate. It divides populations of people and creates factions, sometimes even within a single faith as much as with other faiths. Faith has been the corruptor of weak people who have used faith to gain advantages over others, or to excuse their behavior, or even to kill non-believers… all in the name of God.

And this divisiveness is what I’m thinking about recently. It permeates or cultures and our politics. Not the grace of God, not kindness to fellow human beings, but division and differences between and among people. What people say and do in the name of their religion makes me uneasy. And the concern is not they they believe in their faith, I think that’s their right. It’s that they want to impose their beliefs on others that makes me uncomfortable.

It can be as simple as knocking on my door trying to convert and ‘save’ me, or as complex as lobbying for policies that will change laws to force everyone to abide by religious doctrine, or even genocide in some parts of the world. In the full scope of inflicting a religion or beliefs on others I can’t decide if it is misguided people or a misguided God? Each person believes that they are following the ‘right’ God or they would change faiths. Why would the ‘right’ God allow His faith to be so misinterpreted? Why would His focus be on devotion to Him, and not kindness to others?

Again, I hold the view that everyone has the right to believe what they choose. But just as they have choice, so should others. It pains me to think of the harms done to people ‘in the name of’ religion… and I doubt those things would be appreciated by a loving God.

Back to archery

Yesterday I shot my compound bow for the first time in 10 months. I never intended to take such a long break. I write daily, I try to meditate daily, and I workout about 5 days a week on average. I also used to shoot arrows fairly regularly in 2021 and up to February of last year, then I let it drop off, and in April stopped altogether. The time commitment seemed too much with everything else I was doing plus work.

Going back and shooting again was fun. I had a blast and shot fairly well considering the gap. Here was my scorecard yesterday:

And here was my last score card back in April:

I also shot a 284 that morning as well. Looking at yesterday’s score, I would have been on par had I not shot my worst end to finish off the round.

Some of my shots were rushed. Most felt ‘punchy’ with my technique being more trigger pull than back tension, but I had a few good shots. Where I really struggled was keeping my focus, but that’s a lifelong challenge for me, as my continued struggles with meditation prove.

Overall it was enough fun that I now want to figure out how to add this back into my schedule? Habits are easier to break than to form and this habit involves a big time commitment. My short term goal is to not worry about scoring and putting in full rounds. I’ll try to refine set up and tear down time so that I can get 50-60 shots in and be in-and-out in an hour or so. First step is to get myself shooting a couple times a week and then I’ll worry about getting my arrow count up.

I remember why I took this sport up, and I want to find myself some time to enjoy it.

The Ego and the Way

There is a saying that we are our own worst enemy, and this is especially true when our egos get the best of us. I know that I’m not at my best when I get my back up. I know that making my point a second time in an argument doesn’t help even if… especially if… I’m right. And yet sometimes in the moment of an argument I’ll still poke my point in, like a finger into a wound. Being right becomes more important than coming to an agreement.

Ego clouds the way. Hammering out past transgressions becomes more important than finding a good path forward. Being right trumps being kind, considerate, humble, compromising, or forgiving. Ego destroys apologies, by inserting justifications and explanations. “I’m sorry but…” is not an apology. “What I meant to say…” only adds to the harm. “The reason why…” is a way to justify not a way to heal.

It’s especially hard when the other person doesn’t make it easy. It takes an inner strength to take the good path when being met with frustration or even anger. That’s when the ego wakes and stands it’s ground; When the tone and tenor switches from coming to a settlement to winning an argument; When the ego becomes the way. But when you succumb to ego, you surrender a good outcome. When you meet another’s ego with ego the way forward is lost.

Do you or your ego rise up to a challenge? What is the desired outcome, to be right or to move forward? When the ego clouds the way pack your umbrella because the destination is not bright. Tuck the ego away and a clearer horizon is possible… and you just might arrive somewhere you want to be.