Monthly Archives: July 2020

It’s seeping in

Last night I had a dream and while I don’t remember all of it, I do remember that social distancing played a part in what was happening. Having to keep my distance from others was hindering the task I was trying to do. This is the first time that I can recall the pandemic seeping into my dreams.

I wonder how this is affecting our psyche? What impact is it having on people who already felt isolated? How is it adding stress to our family dynamics and our jobs?

I don’t know why, but a short (pretty insignificant) scene that I witnessed weeks ago keeps replaying in my mind as sort of a ‘statement of impact’ of the pandemic. I was in my car at the closest traffic light intersection to my home, and I was the first car stopped at the light. On the far left curb a dad and his young daughter on bicycles rode up on the sidewalk to the intersection. The 3 or 4 year old girl got off her bike to press the crosswalk button. She put her bike down, went to the button and raised her elbow to press it.

That’s the whole scene which keeps replaying in my mind. That simple motion of a little kid pressing a button with her elbow rather than her finger. It somehow defines the pandemic response for me. Things have changed. We will do things differently in response to Covid-19 for years to come. Young kids won’t know how this has impacted them because they will just grow up doing things that are culturally ‘normal’, even if the behaviours were not normal just 6 months ago.

I lived in China for a couple years just after H1N1. It wasn’t pervasive, but some people would wear masks in public. It became something that was just part of the public landscape. We will see that here, for a long time coming.

Automatic doors are going to be everywhere. Voice operated elevators will ask us what floor we are going to. Hand sanitizer will greet us in shop and restaurant entrances. Lineups will be spaced out, and social distancing social etiquette will be ingrained into our behaviour.

For many of us this is an adjustment. But for young kids, dreams involving social distancing will always have been there, and pressing buttons with elbows is just what has always been done. For us we see these things seeping into our dreams and habits. For young kids it is already the norm.

The beautiful slug

It was the summer of 1997 and my wife and I were here on the 70km West Coast Trail with her parents and a couple that are family friends, who are few years younger than her parents. It had rained horribly the weeks before we left and just a week earlier some people had to be helicoptered out after two rivers flooded too much to pass through. So, we were prepared for the worst, but arrived to sunshine and heat that made each day less and less muddy.

We planned 6 nights, some people do the trip in 4, so we took our time and enjoyed an extra night at the prettiest of the stops, at a beautiful falls. My wife loves to keep a fast pace and with a pack on, she struggles to go slow. She’s also someone who speeds up going up hill, or when she sees the finish line… she can really move when there is a goal in front of her.

It was day 3, we were heading to the falls and we were pushing ourselves with our longest distance to travel when something happened… Four of us were well ahead of Ann’s parents and her mom fell. She didn’t hurt herself, but with the pack on she fell in a way where she was pinned down and struggling to get up. Ann’s dad is a bit hard of hearing and didn’t hear her calling for help, and when we looked back she was just getting up after struggling out of her pack.

That’s when we realized how heavy her pack was. She was fit and trained well for the trip (which she had done already) and decided to take the burden of more weight than she should have. Two new decisions were made at this point. First, I would take some of her weight – though my pack was heaviest, I had much of the food so it was already lighter then when we started. Second, we decided that my wife’s parents should not be at the back of the group.

The next day my wife was going crazy going slowly at the back with me. As I mentioned, it was still very muddy from the rains the weeks before and her parents were overly cautious as they traversed the muck. Where I would just slosh through, ankle deep with my gators on (think rain coats for your ankles and shins), her parents would carefully and thoughtfully choose the route with the least amount of mud. Makes perfect sense when you’ve got a heavy pack on and going through the mud is a bit of a balancing act.

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About two hours into our walk my wife said, “I can’t do this, I’ve got to go ahead,” and I told her to go on ahead, I’ll stay at the back. About 3 hours in, I was feeling like my wife did. I’d slosh through the mud then lead against a tree and watch my wife’s parents gingerly traipse around the mud, calculating each step. While I understood their need to be careful, watching them go so slowly when I was standing with a heavy pack waiting for them started to feel like work I. Just. Wanted. Them. To. Speed. Up! Every muddy section became a long slow chore of waiting and I was getting frustrated.

Then we reached a slow muddy section and after getting to the other side of it I saw a branch the perfect hight to rest my pack on while it was still on my back. This took all the pressure off my shoulders without me having to remove the pack. It felt great and as I took a deep breath I looked down at my feed and saw the most unusual slug. It was mostly yellow, but it had a bluish purple section as well. If it wasn’t moving I would have been sure it was fake. How did this ugly little animal have such beautiful contrasting colours on it?

After seeing the slug, I started to look around and really see the trail that until then was just a path to our next destination. Suddenly I was noticing birds, leaves, plants, colours and sounds, that before this point were just things in the background. Suddenly they were in the foreground. I no longer felt any need to rush. I was no longer waiting for my wife’s parents, I was traveling with them. I was enjoying the journey.

It was a big shift thanks to a small, beautiful slug.

When bad ideas go viral

A decade ago viral videos went viral organically. People shared videos, these went into other people’s timelines, and they shared it too. This can still happen on Twitter, to a small extent, but not on Facebook. Facebook viral videos only happen through advertising dollars. Even that cute cat video doesn’t spread unless it is pushed through. The next time you see a viral video with million of views on Facebook, take the time to notice three things:

First, notice that he video was uploaded to Facebook. It’s not a YouTube or Vimeo embedded video, it’s actually a video that was saved on Facebook. This is so that they can fully track, and have advertisers pay for, engagement.

Second, notice that the video will have some branding on it: A website logo or emblem of some kind. It is being promoted by a company or organization.

Third, notice if it is from someone that you regularly see in your timeline. Your timeline used to be every post from every person you follow, now your timeline is curated and you see some people more than others… but when a friend that’s seldom seen in your curated list shares a paid-for/promoted video, suddenly you see their post in your timeline again.

This becomes dangerous when the information shared is false. Here are two specific examples where this is scary right now:

1. Anti-vaccination propaganda: vaccines have made our world a significantly safer place. Hopefully there will be a vaccine for Covid-19 soon, but the reality is that millions of people will likely opt out of taking it and the virus could linger for years, mutating and making the very vaccine useless. Measles have had a resurgence because less people around the world or vaccinating their kids.

2. False claims about Covid-19 cures and anti-mask groups are undermining the science behind fighting this virus. The most recent viral video, taken down by Facebook, has a doctor espousing how she has cured over 300 Covid-19 patients with Hydroxychloroquine. I wrote about this drug as a treatment for covid-19 here: Trying to find the Truth

It’s one thing to say a drug is useful in helping treat an ailment and yet another to claim it is a cure or somehow preventative (like a vaccination).

I’ve had an argument with some very smart people that think Facebook should not take down videos like this because ‘people should be able to watch them and make their own decisions’. Maybe I’d have agreed with them a decade ago, because the video would have to spread organically and people could share their concerns along with the video. But today, that video will get millions of viewers targeted through advertising dollars to promote bad ideas. And advertisers with their own agendas will feed the video to people most likely to agree and share it with support.

This isn’t an organic process. It’s marketplace advertising being used to market and sell bad ideas, entice anger, and polarize opinions and perspectives. Even the taking down of the video has become polarized with the ‘Leftist social media sites only taking down videos they don’t agree with.’ …suddenly this is about politics and not about the spreading of dangerous ideas.

There are a lot of bad ideas being intentionally spread right now. The scary part of this is that these bad ideas are going viral through advertising dollars spent with an agenda to create anger, divisiveness, and the polarization of people.

And while I’ve focused on anti-vaccines and Covid-19 cures, media outlets have used fake (or carefully edited) protest videos to entice anger and gain clicks and advertising revenue, and used language to specifically pander to specific audiences. The desire to share messages virally has made it so that almost any (newsworthy) viral video you see will likely be one that has an agenda, and that agenda is seldom to give you the truth.

Ask yourself who is behind the next viral video you see, then ask yourself what their agenda is?

A break and a lapse

Well I ended up taking just over a week off of my Daily Ink, with plans to do some writing outside of this space. I didn’t. I did have a wonderful break, including from social media, and I’ve been very slow to return. I also listened to a couple books for pleasure and truly enjoyed the break.

That said, I really didn’t write anything at all, and I’ve let my email completely pile up. I don’t feel bad about this, it has felt good to let go of things. Even today I slept in, had a really slow start and am sitting with my laptop in my back yard enjoying the sun and sipping coffee as I type. So while I’m going to make some observations about how I’ve wasted some of my time, I’m not doing so with any guilt, I’m just making observations around my expectations versus reality.

Writing: In about 9 days of not writing daily here, I ended up making 3 notes in my phone regarding the other writing I wanted to do. I can’t say that it wasn’t on my mind but without a routine and setting time to intentionally sit and write, it just never happened. I planned to do what I’m doing now, enjoying the sun outside while writing, but I never actually dedicated specific time to do so. My rest and relaxation never seemed to include taking time to write.

Meditation and exercise: I missed 2 days of meditation and 2 days of exercise (one of them being the same day) thanks to not having a regular routine. I had a long streak on my Calm app broken, but I started a new one yesterday. Last nights workout was minimal and it took me way too long to do so little. Again the lack of a routine hurt me. Still with respect to exercise, 5 days of workouts in a week is pretty good and I usually take at least one day off anyway.

Diet: I’m not on a diet, but I try to eat well and for the start of the year I was regularly doing intermittent fasting (14 hours minimum) 5 days a week. Covid ended that and I’ve never really recovered, but the amount of junk I’ve eaten the last week is horrible. I forget to eat then gorge on junk and my upset stomach has been telling me that I need to get my eating under control.

Social Media: I didn’t miss it. Not even Twitter. I thought I was going to take a break from news as well, but I didn’t although I should have. I’m disheartened by social media right now. It is polarized to the point the facts and reality no longer matter. Call-out culture, angry Karen videos, quick fixes, miss-information, anger, hate, pandemic fear… it seeps into my timelines and make me want to close my accounts.

The week+ of being off is over, and “I’m back”. While I enjoyed the break, I look forward to building a more consistent routine of fitness, meditation, and writing again, with a hesitation to spend much time on social media for a while yet. It’s funny, I thought I would need to stop writing here to get into the mood to write elsewhere, but in reality I need to keep writing and just choose to write more, (and actually make it part of my routine). I’ve enjoyed myself during this break, but I also lapsed a bit in the routines that I’ve built over the past year and a half, and I’m ready to build these positive routines back into my summer schedule.

Going dark next week

Starting tomorrow I’m shutting down for a week. No Daily-Ink, no Twitter, no LinkedIn, no Facebook, no Snapchat, no Tik Tok, no social media or news.

I’m taking a full break, and plan on leaving my phone in a drawer when I’m home. I’m hoping to do some daily writing (though not sharing it online) and I think next Sunday I’ll report out on how much I did… public accountability works well as a motivating factor for me.

In some ways I’m very good at moderation, and in other ways I’m not. Locking my attention into news or an app can be something that undermines my attention for too long, and now that I’m off work for the holidays I’m allowing this to happen a bit too much.

So let’s see what a cold turkey experience does to these habits. Starting midnight tonight (Sunday morning) and ending midnight next week Saturday, I’m going dark.

Catch you on the flip side.

It’s a little surreal

If you looked ahead at where you would be for 2020, any time in 2019, you were probably wrong. The word pandemic meant nothing to you outside of a dystopian science fiction movie. Yet here we are and I have to say that I slip into these bizarrely off-centre moments that seem quite surreal.

I’m walking on a sidewalk and decide to step onto the road to let someone coming towards me pass. I’m lined up to get into a grocery store as if I’m waiting to see a bank teller. I’m nodding to greet someone I’m meeting for the first time, avoiding a handshake. I’m leaving the room because I feel the urge to sneeze. I’m putting candles on my sister’s cake and wondering if this will be something we do in the future? I pass a children’s indoor playground facility and wonder if it will ever open up again? I push elevator and crosswalk buttons with my elbow, and wonder how long it will be before all public places have verbally operated buttons, and automatic doors?

These are small moments but they remind me of how much things have (and will change since covid-19 has snuck into the fabric of our society around the world… and sometimes it just feels surreal.

Derek Sivers on Goals

I’m a fan of Derek Sivers. I loved his first interview with Tim Ferris. I knew him before that from ‘The first follower‘, and I think this little video about ‘Obvious to you. Amazing to others.‘ is brilliant.

I recently purchased and listened to his book, ‘Hell Yeah or No’ and this chapter really resonated with me: ‘Goals Shape the Present, not the Future‘.

From the chapter:

If it was a great goal, you would have jumped into action already. You wouldn’t wait. Nothing would stop you.
The purpose of goals is not to improve the future.The future doesn’t exist. It’s only in our imagination. All that exists is the present moment and what you do in it.
Judge a goal by how well it changes your actions in the present moment.

I think this is what I’ve always struggled with when teaching or talking about goals with students… they all focus on the plan ahead, the future, and not on the habits and attitudes needed right now. We don’t teach the ‘Hell Yeah’ part of creating goals that kids really want to do.

We don’t teach them about goals, we teach them about wishful thinking.

Present habits and actions lead us to future outcomes, and these need to be emphasized when we teach goal setting.

Our online persona

No one shares all of who they are online. We share snippets, frozen moments, and smiling images. Some share to learn, others to reflect, others to seek attention. What’s clear is that we are not our public or online persona.

Writing and sharing daily, I’m keenly aware that I share a lot more than others do. How is this perceived by others? I’ve had some surprising feedback, some of it good, some of it disappointingly bad. I’ve even had it questioned if this was somehow taking away from my work day. That would have made me laugh if it wasn’t, at the time, so upsetting. I wrote a scathing retort that will probably never leave my drafts. It was cathartic enough just to write it.

And that’s what I’m reflecting on now, what do we chose to share and what do we keep to ourselves?

What do I keep to myself? What do I blog about? What do I expose? What do I hide?

A few years ago I went through 6 months of chronic fatigue. My family and coworkers knew, they had to know because I wasn’t running at full capacity no matter how hard I tried… but I didn’t really share any of this online until I found out it was from an extreme Vitamin D deficiency, and I was on the road to recovery.

I can remember going to a conference once and meeting a blogger whom I read regularly and admired. I was so excited to meet this person who ended up just being an ordinary guy who really didn’t want to talk about anything I was interested in talking about. It was a huge let down. This is especially true because before meeting him, I’d connected with so many amazing people at conferences who felt like instant friends, and whom I loved meeting face to face. I had met so many people that I felt I knew, and who exceeded my expectations as wonderful human beings. This guy just let me down.

But did he? Did he let me down or did I expect too much? Had I built him up to be something he wasn’t? Did I imagine him to be more than he was? Did I imagine my online interactions meant more to him than I should have?

On the flip side, who have I let down, disappointed, and even unintentionally ignored? Who has met me and thought, ‘Oh, that’s not the guy I thought he would be… that’s not the online Dave that I know.’

Whether we want to admit it or not, we don’t put our whole selves online. We refine our online persona by intentionally editing things out. We may not see ourselves the same as the Instagram teen deleting images that don’t get enough likes, but in some way we are one and the same. We choose to put some things ‘out there’ and we choose to leave some things out.

I have a friend who shares the most incredible photos of themselves having a wonderful time on Facebook, who I know is unhappy and struggles with depression.

I have another friend who in the past over-shared a tremendous amount of information about themselves. I was concerned and mentioned this to them. The response: “I’ve had people thank me for being so honest, and sharing things they are afraid to.” They were over-sharing in my eyes, not in theirs. It was beyond my comfort zone, not theirs. It was an uncomfortable level of sharing for me, not for them.

I can see that we are not our online personas. They are different than us. Even though this persona can say a lot about us… they don’t always say what we think they say.

How intentionally different to you is your online persona?

A forgotten dream

Last week I visited my uncle and he reminded me of a dream that I shared with him, 27 years ago, before my move from Toronto to Vancouver.

There is a saying: “To the fish water is invisible.” And that is what my dream was about. I grew up in a pre-Google era, but I had something better… I had my dad. It seemed that no matter what question I may ask, my dad had, and still has, a comprehensive answer. My only hesitation to ask him a question was that I needed to be sure I was interested enough to get his extensive and detailed answer.

The dream was that I was in my bedroom next to my dad’s office and everything was under water. It wasn’t scary, I could breathe. I knew the water was there but I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see what was right in front of me.

What was right in front of me was all of dad’s books that I had never read. 1,000’s of books. My dad has read and given away more books than any 50 people would normally read in their lifetime. From my earliest memories I can remember our house containing numerous bookshelves with books double stacked, one in front of the other, with whole sections having books stacked horizontally, so that 6 or 8 horizontal books could take the place of 4 or 5 vertical books.

And I read almost none of them.

The dream was a dream of lost opportunity. Of being blind to the ocean of information that sat before me metaphorically unseen, and literally unread.

I didn’t enjoy reading until I was in my 30’s. I slowed down again after that, getting too busy, until recently in my 50’s when I discovered that I could listen to audio books while exercising, and walking, and waiting in lineups, and commuting in my car.

We often don’t see the opportunities right in front of us. We often take things, and people, for granted because they are right there.

About 8 or 9 years after I moved to B.C., my librarian at the school I was teaching at did an exchange with a teacher from Australia. That teacher and her retired husband went away almost every weekend during the exchange. In a single year they had visited more of B.C. than I had in almost a decade. In fact, more than I have in over a quarter century of living here now.

We are fish, blind to the water we swim in. Sometimes it’s worth stopping and paying attention to what is right in front of us.

We do not know

In a number of different places I’ve already said that COVID-19 has humbled me in that my thoughts and predictions have been way off. I’m not the only one.

Here is an interesting but worrisome article from Vox: My patient caught Covid-19 twice. So long to herd immunity hopes?

“We do not know how much immunity to expect once someone is infected with the virus, we do not know how long that immunity may last, and we do not know how many antibodies are needed to mount an effective response.”

There is still so much we need to learn about this virus that has changed the social and economic habits of humankind on a massive scale. So much we don’t know.

Here’s one thing I believe, (while admittedly not truly knowing):

We are going to be dealing with COVID-19 social restrictions and economic repercussions well into 2022.

I want to be wrong. I hope I’m wrong. I doubt that I’m wrong.

I tend to be optimistic, and this doesn’t sound very optimistic. Not at all. But I think accepting that from now and right through 2021, we will be navigating a defensive response to COVID-19 will help us stay positive. We can plan the best possible path forward facing a very challenging scenario, and be pleasantly surprised if I’m wrong. This is better than hoping for the best and continually being disappointed.

If we prepare for a long response, adhering to the required social distancing and social norms recommended to us, we will make things better, faster.

The path forward won’t be easy, but maybe we’ll learn some valuable lessons along the way. On the path, we need to be patient with each other. Tolerant. Forgiving. Kind.

We aren’t designed to live our lives in a constant state of anxiety or stress, and it’s hard to constantly adapt to change. But the rules for social interaction are going to be fluid for a while, sometimes loosening restrictions and opening public and social spaces, sometimes closing them down again. We need to be fluid too. Responsive. Adaptable.

We may not know what the future holds, but we will be more prepared for that future if we prepare for a prolonged and bumpy ride. Let’s work together and make it as smooth as possible.