Tag Archives: work

Weekend blues

Sometimes, at the start of the school year, weekends are tough. They are too short, there is work on your mind, and routines are too hard to follow.

This was one of those weekends. It’s not over, and I’m looking forward to my evening plans, but school is on my brain.

It’s moments like these that I feel like a split personality. Part of me longs for a job I don’t bring home. Part of me is so excited about the year to come, filled with potential… and I can’t imagine doing anything else.

I think a 4 day week would be the perfect balance. I’d have a lot less weekend blues. I think my mind would clear more easily, and I’d head back to work fully energized. But that’s not the reality, and I’ll be in bed by 9:30 tonight. And I’ll be ready to start my weekday routine long before the sun rises tomorrow.

Mind occupied

Yes, it’s the long weekend before school starts, and I should be resting up for what promises to be a challenging year… but I’m not able to let my thoughts of the days to come out of my mind. I’ll be going into work today, and making sure that everything I need to do the first couple days goes seamlessly. I know there will be distractions. I know there will be a lot of conversations and connections that will take time. I know that there are new members to the team that I’ll need to support, and that need to know how easy it is to get support. And ultimately, I know that no amount of planning will make the coming days go exactly as planned.

That’s why I’m going in today. I want the students first visit to the school this year to be something that makes them feel welcome. I want my first staff meeting to demonstrate that I was prepared and ready to support my staff. I want to be ready in such a way that when unexpected interruptions to my plans happen, things can still go smoothly.

I could sit at home and think about work all day today and tomorrow, or I can go to work, fell like I’ve fully prepared myself, then take tomorrow completely off. If my mind is going to be occupied with work, I might as well use my time effectively.

Work on the brain

It has started. While I’m still not heading into work quite yet, I’ve reached the part of my summer where I am starting to think about and do work. Today I’m not spending a lot of time directly doing anything, other than a little email and some follow up on a request by the ministry for committee representation by fellow BCDLAA members, (I’m currently president and the request came to me late last week). So it’s not like I’m dedicating a huge amount of time. But that doesn’t stop my brain from thinking about work.

I’m thinking about the start up of the school year. I’m wondering if we are going to see some Covid-19 restrictions implemented, with the Delta virus expected to peak in late September or early October. I’m not sure the after-vaccine normalcy we were wanting to see is going to be anything like we expected or hoped for.

I’m thinking about how my online job could dramatically change as new ministry rules come into effect over the next year. Furthermore, like the end of last year, my teachers are going to start the year quite busy, right off the start. Enrolment will be quite high agin this year.

I’m thinking about the culture shift at Inquiry Hub when our biggest cohort of new students is coming in, and we have grade 10’s that have only seen our school in an isolated covid response, and grade 11’s that only saw our school operate normally for half of their grade 9 year. We have much more students that don’t really know our culture than we do students who truly experienced it. This problem creates an opportunity for change, but with very few student role models for that change… and we’ve also had the biggest change in staff we’ve had in years. We really need to think about how we foster our culture, and can’t expect it to be known. This is hard in a very small school.

I won’t pretend some of these things haven’t crept into my thoughts before this week, but I’m definitely thinking more about these things as regular work days approach. It also doesn’t help that I finished my book and have gone back to reading for educational purposes rather than reading a novel… my way of helping with the transition back to school.

When the whole year is ahead of us, this is a time of great potential and opportunity. And while I still have a little bit of holiday left, work is slowly taking up more of my thinking time.

Hard to not think about it

I visited my parents for almost 2 weeks and during that time I responded to a few emails. Most of these started with some sort of, “Sorry to bother you, but…”

I responded to those because they were timely things that needed a response to move forward. But there are 70+ emails that I looked at and needed more time for me to respond and/or didn’t require immediate response. I plan on getting through these later today or tomorrow (edited, I wrote this part before I started cleaning out my garage).

It’s hard to balance truly having a holiday that feels like a holiday and also doing the work that doesn’t stop because you are on holiday. Yes, I have my ‘I’m away from the office’ auto reply on. Yes, it gives a phone number to contact for assistance. Still, I feel obligated to catch up and clear out my inbox ever since I’ve kind of let it go a bit while visiting my parents.

What’s a little unusual is how long I’ve left this over the past couple weeks. Part of it is the need to have a real holiday after the year that was. But I juggle this with wanting to deal with it before it becomes a huge task. And I’m also wanting to enjoy the holiday time ahead. That said, despite letting my email correspondence slip while away, I know the email is there. I’ve read the subject headings, and I’ve felt the pressure to get to it. It’s hard not to think about it and so it’s better to just get it done rather than let it fester in my head as something needing my attention.

Times like this, while on holiday, I sometimes wish for a 9-5 job that doesn’t require any work coming home. I’d probably have less holiday time, but that holiday time would be completely work and work email free. Then I remember the satisfaction I get at work helping students and teachers, and I know that I’d probably hate leaving this job for a 9-5’er.

By tomorrow afternoon I’ll have my un-dealt-with email count down, and I will think less about it for a while. But I don’t know how to turn it completely off, and I don’t know how to see it there and not let it bug me in some small but significant way. I think that I need to take at least a week this summer where I don’t look at email at all… but somehow although I did a couple weeks with no social media that went well, I don’t think it will be as stress free to do with email.

Fast days

Yesterday went by ridiculously fast. I said to my secretaries at 10:20am, “I need a time machine to go back an hour and get all the things done that I thought I’d get done by now.” One of them said, “I think there’s a song about that, 🎵’If I could turn back time’🎶”.

Some days are like that, they zip by and even when you are working diligently, time escape you. After lunch was the same, except more interrupted. The interruptions and the follow up on them are expected in a job like mine. Other people’s priorities can become mine… I’m there to support my staff and students. But some days, like yesterday, happen so quickly that they seem to race by as if someone pressed and held the fast forward button.

I came home and after dinner I did a couple things I had planned to do in the morning. One job was about 5 minutes, the other about 30. Neither were very hard. Neither could get done during the day. The scary thing is that every June gets like this… but it’s not June yet and I’m already feeling the year-end crunch.

I might not be able to turn back time, but I wouldn’t mind if it slowing down just a bit!

The hill

I have my car in the shop so I rode my bike to work yesterday. It’s a really easy ride to work, with about 5% uphill, 15% flat, and 80% down hill. It takes about 10-12 minutes and I couldn’t break a sweat if I tried. Coming home is a different story.

When I leave work to go home, I cross the street corner the school is on and BOOM… there’s the nastiest of hills I have to ride on my whole trip. It starts easy, then turns and gets harder, then a steep bend that stays steep afterwards, then a slight bend and steeper yet. But then you can see a 4-way stop and what looks like the end of the hill, but no. On the other side of the intersection is still an uphill climb. It’s not as bad as before, but having just got on my bike and started to sweat within 3 minutes, it’s still feels tough.

From there, a turn onto a flat, main thoroughfare street for half a block, and a turn at the lights onto my street almost 2 km from home… and with the exception of one small dip and a flat last 100 meters, it’s all a gradual uphill ride.

I remember now why, despite living so close, I have chosen not to ride to work often. That said, none of this ride is that bad. It’s more mental than physical. It’s the issue of starting right on the toughest hill, and that hill progressively getting tougher. And since I’m a lot fitter now than in past years, it didn’t wipe me out. So maybe I’ll ride more often now.

One nice thing that is no longer an issue that used to deter me was having to lug my laptop back and forth, but now with everything I need stored in OneDrive and OneNote, I really don’t need to carry anything home. I have to ride this morning, car is still in the shop. Maybe tomorrow too. After 3 days, I’m pretty sure I’ll decide if this hill keeps me from riding regularly, or if it gets smaller in my mind and riding to/from work becomes a regular thing.

Not on all cylinders

Woke up with a pounding headache this morning and not feeling 100%. Isn’t it odd that any other time but covid, I’d take a couple pain relievers (which I just did), then head off to work. I’d muscle through the day and even stay late to get things done. Pre-covid I’d also go to school with a cold and runny nose, or other flu symptoms. I wonder how any times in the past I spread my sickness, somehow thinking I was doing something good by avoiding a sick day.

No flu symptoms today, but definitely best if I stay home today… and also best if I stop looking at this screen right now. Back to sleep if my thumping brain will let me.

In a rut

My mind is a flutter. I seem to be hopping from idea to idea. At work my secretaries and I joke about me having a squirrel brain when I get like this. I start a task, get interrupted, and then don’t remember the task until much later. A student comes to ask me a question, and I can’t remember what I was doing after they leave.

Today I had to redo my meditation because I fell asleep. Then the second time the 10 minute session ended I realized I completely failed to listen to the last few minutes or focus on my breathing, and had to go back to it again.

I don’t like when I get like this, because it’s like I’ve had too much coffee, and am overstimulated. But rather than fight it, for today’s post I’ll try to embrace it and I’ll throw ‘this and that’ out in a stream of verbal diarrhea, here goes:

I got my personal best score in archery, beating my old record by one… then repeated that score. I should be thrilled. My accuracy is way up. Yet I’m mad at myself because I started both record-breaking scores with two of three shots being 8’s. And in my second round, I ended with an 8, or I would have beaten my new record rather than tied it. Oh, and I’m also mad at myself because rather than celebrating my personal best, I’m upset about these things and can’t seem to let myself celebrate the success.

Workouts are still floundering, even now I’m writing this later than usual and will have to rush my morning routine. So much for getting back into it like I’ve shared here recently. I tell myself I’ll push harder, but I really don’t. I think I need to try something really different to break this cycle. I’m usually someone that can self-motivate, but right now I feel like I need someone else to light a fire under my ass.

I finally finished a 28.5 hour audio book. It was a wonderful story but it still took me almost three months to listen to, despite enjoying it. I listened to so many books the last couple years, and this year I’m listening at a snail’s pace. I’m also behind on podcasts. I just don’t squeeze the time out of the day like I used to.

I’ve been ‘working on’ a visual that puts together some of the things we do in order to share the Heroes Journey of a student at Inquiry Hub… except I’ve been too busy at work and am actually not working on it. It’s more of a decoration on the whiteboard behind me in my office than it is a work in progress. I look at it, I haven’t really added much to it recently.

My eating habits haven’t been great. My sleeping habits haven’t been great. I’m clueless as to what’s going on in the world because not only do I not watch TV, but I’ve tuned out of social media too.

I sound like a basket case reading this over, but I’ve caught up on my email backlog, and have been tackling my ‘to do’ list at work diligently, even if sometimes lacking focus. I’m functioning pretty well, yet focused on the things I’m not doing rather than the things I’m doing well. I haven’t laughed enough recently. I haven’t felt a sense of real accomplishment. I haven’t even enjoyed my distractions.

Yet, in the grand scheme of things I’m being productive, I’m staying healthy, my family is healthy, I’m listening to good books, I’m meditating, I’m improving my archery skills. There should be a lot to celebrate, or at least appreciate. Cognitively I understand this. But I don’t know how to give myself a break and appreciate all these things?

Well, I better get my butt to my home gym and go through the motions of working out. I’ll listen to a podcast while I do, and maybe some motivational music. I’ll get out of this rut soon, but for now I’ll just go through the motions, which is better than letting myself slip.

Work on the brain

Got an email from the district to send to parents about the new Covid-19 rules in effect when we return to school on Tuesday.

The big changes for our school bolded:

o All students Grades 4-12 are required to wear a mask inside schools both within and outside their learning group.

o All staff K-12 are required to wear a mask inside schools both within and outside their learning group.

Essentially, students and staff will be wearing masks all day, as opposed to having the option of removing them when at their own desks. This is important information, and as instructed, I’ll send it off to parents (and students and staff) tomorrow.

Since reading that email, my brain has been on work, and on the pandemic. Things to do, and things to be concerned about. Sometimes I can’t let things go. I can’t relax. Today feels like it was a work day, even though I didn’t go to work. It’s going to take a bit to get back into holiday mode. I want a few more days of holiday brain before work brain fully takes over.

TGIF

In BC, Canada we have a Family Day holiday on Monday. It’s a long weekend. I am not someone who counts down to the weekend or to the next long holiday. I don’t begrudge workday Monday mornings. But right now I’m looking forward to having the extra day off next week.

No, I don’t have any plans. Pretty sure it’s going to be a catch-up-on-the-cleaning weekend at home. But it’s going to be nice and relaxing too. It’s going to be at least 2 days not thinking about work. It’s going to include walks, and maybe some fun shooting arrows.

Sometimes, it just feels wonderful knowing that it’s the Friday before a long weekend. I’m going to take that feeling with me to work today, and as busy at it might get… it’s going to be a great day.

TGIF!