Tag Archives: motivation

Priorities Versus Motivation

“Get your priorities straight.”

That’s a term you’ve probably heard at some point in your life. But more than likely it means, ‘your priorities don’t match mine.’ The thing is, it’s hard for people to all have the same priorities at the same time. Sure sports team members all want to win a game, but a player in a defensive position moving too far forward trying to score could jeopardize giving up a goal.

Even when the goal is the same people in different roles need to have different priorities. It’s easy to project your priorities on other people, much harder to recognize other’s priorities when they don’t match yours. Even when the motivations are the same priorities can be different. At this point, what’s more important, the priorities or the motivation? I think more often than not people look at what they think others prioritize and lose track of what the motivation is for their actions, and that creates unnecessary conflict.

Going through the motions

My workouts have been minimalist recently. I’m going through the motions but not pushing myself. And I’ve come to realize that this is ok. 5 years ago, I would have just stopped my routine. I’d have made excuses that I was too busy. And, I probably would have stopped for over a month.

Instead, I’ve kept the routine up, and am committing to still getting up early, writing, then working out. In the last week I’ve taken a couple days off exercise, but I am still good with 5 days a week… after I started this regimen in January of 2019 in my first year I averaged only 4 days a week, and now it’s unusual for me not to do 6. I have slowly improved my habit such that only working out 5 days a week is less than normal, while I was actually proud of averaging 4 days a week when I started.

My point is that I need to give myself some slack. I’m not quitting, I’m not breaking my pattern, I’m just coasting a bit while still putting in the time, even if I’m not giving 100%. I can’t give 100% for 100% of the time, and right now I’m just not up to ‘giving it my all’.

Will I meditate? Yes. Will I do a short stretch? Yes. Will I get my heart rate up for a 20 minute cardio? Yes. Will I do at least one strength exercise? Yes.

Done. Mission accomplished. Pat on the back and move on. There will be time to give it my all when I’m ready, but for now going through the motions isn’t just good enough, it’s exactly what I need to do in order to maintain the healthy lifestyle I want to keep, even when I don’t feel up to it.

Push

If I’ve learned one thing about myself, when it comes to physical effort, I’m very externally motivated. Working out in my basement alone, I have to go through all kinds of mental gymnastics to get myself to put out a good effort. Working out with a buddy, I can really push myself. It’s not about competition. Many of my workout buddies have been significantly bigger and stronger than me, and I don’t have the body or muscles to match what they do. But having them there with me is the push I need to give my all.

The same is true in sports. I have to be in just the right frame of mind to give my all in a solo sport. However in a team sport I will do all I need to do to, and more, so that I don’t let the team down. It’s not a part of my personality most people see in my current position, but I literally would do whatever it took to win.

But I’m not on a team sport now. My hobby is archery. I don’t have that push in my day to day. So, my challenge now is to find a way to create that push internally. I worked out in a gym this morning, and there were a couple other people in there. They were doing their own thing and not even in positions where they could see me for most of my workout, and yet I gave far more effort than my workouts alone recently. This isn’t the time for me to join a gym, and my best workout time is before I leave for work each morning, so I’m going to be working out solo 95% of the time or more. I need to figure out ways to push myself. I’m open to suggestions. Music helps, but what strategies do you use to pump up your effort when working out alone?

Before the sun rises

Today was the first day in a very long time that my alarm went off before sunrise. Part of this is getting back into a routine before work, part of it is that the days are a little shorter as we head into fall. It took me a while to actually get started this morning. I literally could have woken up 45 minutes later, because none of my usual routine got started until then. It’s amazing how slow I can be, how easily distracted, when I’m off of a routine. Put me on a routine and I get stuff done. Remove the routine and I lose focus.

This makes me think about a typical day at work. How much of it is me focusing on the next issue or concern that arises versus getting what I need done? Some days the answer to that is quite surprising. I had a vice principal tell me years ago, “You know, being a VP is really just a 3-4 hour a day job. The problem is that you usually can’t get most of that done between 8am and 4pm. That was a vice principal in a school that also had a principal. When you are the lone principal in a building this can be even more challenging with more duties and less time.

That’s why I get up so early. I write for this blog (usually by 6:00 even though I publish it a bit later). I meditate for 10 minutes. I do 20 minutes of cardio followed by 10-15 minutes of stretching and/or weights. I get stuff done for me, before the distractions of the day start… and as the days get shorter, before the sun rises.

It’s a wonderful feeling of accomplishment to do these things for myself before my work day begins; before the unexpected distractions of my typical day; before I get home exhausted and full of excuses as to why I should skip one of these activities. After a very routine-less holiday, it’s going to take me a while to get used to this. But eventually I’ll fall back into the routine of waking up in the dark and getting my mental and physical well-being taken care of before the sun comes up.

External motivation

I usually use an app by Under Armour called Map My Ride to track hikes, walks, and rides, but a few days ago I went on a ride with my brother-in-law and forgot to start the app, and he shared the ride with me on the Strava app. Since my oldest daughter uses this as well, and goes in some awesome hikes, I thought I’d make the switch.

When I looked at the app afterwards I noticed that I had an Achievement given to me for the trip.

Looking further, I was 7th overall on this portion of the hike.

I love the competitive sharing aspect of apps like this. I’m totally motivated to improve my standing. While I’m pretty sure Kelsey is safe at the top, I’m gunning for a spot above Shane, Dave, and Lisa.

I’ll share my progress below over the next few days.

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Ok, so for the run above, I crushed this segment time! However, in full transparency, yesterday I did the whole trail in 23:23 and got 6th, then did the trail later with my wife and kid and figured out where this segment is. Then today I walked the 149 steps and steep incline before the segment and even with this fast pace, my total route was done in 26:01… in other words, I ‘saved myself’ just for this one section. Now that I’ve done this, the motivation to do better is gone. I’ll end my updates here and try to beat my full route time of 23:23 next time.

Procrastinating workouts

It took me hours to get myself working out today. Everything was an excuse, or a delay. Now that I’ve done it, I feel great (physically).

This is why I like morning workouts before work, there is a deadline I have to meet, and so I meet it. On holidays, it suddenly becomes something to put off until later. The problem now is that I’m heading back into a smokey location, and won’t have the convenience of my home gym. I also won’t have my bike. So I’ll need to figure out a routine that doesn’t involve me breathing heavily in smokey air. I might have to resort to hikes, walks, and a regimen of sit-ups and push-ups… and schedule these so that I actually do them.

I feel so unproductive, even after getting my workout done, when I spend half the day thinking about and delaying my workout, even if I get other things done in the process. So, this is my ‘out loud’ commitment to do better. And to be specific, doing better means setting a time for my workout, then sticking to it!

The shade of our minds

My morning meditation included this quote:

“We are sitting under the tree of our thinking minds, wondering why we’re not getting any sunshine.” ~ Ram Dass

It’s interesting to think about some of the negative loops we play in our mind:

Self doubt – I’m not good enough. I can’t do it, it’s too hard for me.

Regret – Both for the things we’ve done, and the things we wish we did.

Sadness – for things we’ve lost, for uncomfortable moments that happened in our lives, and also just in our minds.

We put up our own shade while wondering why the sun doesn’t shine on us… and we do this without ever leaving our own thoughts. But we aren’t always in control. The dark spaces can grow, the shade can seem to be daunting. Grey, stormy clouds do not allow the sun through, even if we get out from under the tree.

“Smile.”

“Snap out of it.”

“Just think happy thoughts.”

It’s so easy for someone who sees sunshine to toss out simple advice to those who are stuck in the gloomy shade. But it’s so hard to have the advice of others penetrate the shade we cast on ourselves. When we are stuck in the shade, we do not feel in control of navigating to brighter spaces in our minds. If we did… we would, if only it were so simple.

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However it is important to remember that we are not our thoughts, our thoughts are not us. If we can recognize this, we can create some cognitive dissonance. We can separate the elements of shade we create in our heads from the shade we are experiencing. We can have doubts and still move forward, we can fake confidence and pretend we are more capable than we feel. We can act our way into a new way of thinking. We can choose to do something that reduces regrets from the things done and not done. We might not feel happy, but we can choose to see our sadness rather than live it, to observe it from a place where it does not grip us so tightly.

So easy to say, when one is not feeling down, when not depressed, when we see potential in ourselves and others… So far away from achievable when we are in the midst of shadow, gloom, and despair. We do not think our way out of bad thinking so easily, we do not break the loop from within the loop. When everything is spinning around us, it can feel like nothing stops moving even if we can stand still. We can’t un-think our own thoughts so easily.

Yet we can act differently, we can choose what to do when we can’t choose what to think. We can take a walk in nature, we can connect with a friend who makes us feel better. We can read a book that takes us to places our minds didn’t know we could go. We can dress in a way that makes us feel empowered. We can do a kind act for others and feel the endorphins that is the reward for selflessness… for not just thinking for and about ourselves.

We can exercise, not to transform our bodies but to transform our minds… not a gruelling workout to make ourselves more fit, but short spurts of activity to change our heart rate and clear some clouds. Activity vignettes that alter our physiology, and get us out of a rut.

We can pattern what we do to pattern what we think, rather than the other way around… Routines can be ruts, and routines can be grooves. We can find physical grooves that helps us out of mental ruts. We can act our way into new thinking when we can not think our way into new action… because the shade won’t think itself away, and sunshine does not fill the shadows when we choose to create our own clouds.

It’s not what we think, but what we do that makes a difference, and action is what moves us from underneath the shady trees of our minds.

In a rut

My mind is a flutter. I seem to be hopping from idea to idea. At work my secretaries and I joke about me having a squirrel brain when I get like this. I start a task, get interrupted, and then don’t remember the task until much later. A student comes to ask me a question, and I can’t remember what I was doing after they leave.

Today I had to redo my meditation because I fell asleep. Then the second time the 10 minute session ended I realized I completely failed to listen to the last few minutes or focus on my breathing, and had to go back to it again.

I don’t like when I get like this, because it’s like I’ve had too much coffee, and am overstimulated. But rather than fight it, for today’s post I’ll try to embrace it and I’ll throw ‘this and that’ out in a stream of verbal diarrhea, here goes:

I got my personal best score in archery, beating my old record by one… then repeated that score. I should be thrilled. My accuracy is way up. Yet I’m mad at myself because I started both record-breaking scores with two of three shots being 8’s. And in my second round, I ended with an 8, or I would have beaten my new record rather than tied it. Oh, and I’m also mad at myself because rather than celebrating my personal best, I’m upset about these things and can’t seem to let myself celebrate the success.

Workouts are still floundering, even now I’m writing this later than usual and will have to rush my morning routine. So much for getting back into it like I’ve shared here recently. I tell myself I’ll push harder, but I really don’t. I think I need to try something really different to break this cycle. I’m usually someone that can self-motivate, but right now I feel like I need someone else to light a fire under my ass.

I finally finished a 28.5 hour audio book. It was a wonderful story but it still took me almost three months to listen to, despite enjoying it. I listened to so many books the last couple years, and this year I’m listening at a snail’s pace. I’m also behind on podcasts. I just don’t squeeze the time out of the day like I used to.

I’ve been ‘working on’ a visual that puts together some of the things we do in order to share the Heroes Journey of a student at Inquiry Hub… except I’ve been too busy at work and am actually not working on it. It’s more of a decoration on the whiteboard behind me in my office than it is a work in progress. I look at it, I haven’t really added much to it recently.

My eating habits haven’t been great. My sleeping habits haven’t been great. I’m clueless as to what’s going on in the world because not only do I not watch TV, but I’ve tuned out of social media too.

I sound like a basket case reading this over, but I’ve caught up on my email backlog, and have been tackling my ‘to do’ list at work diligently, even if sometimes lacking focus. I’m functioning pretty well, yet focused on the things I’m not doing rather than the things I’m doing well. I haven’t laughed enough recently. I haven’t felt a sense of real accomplishment. I haven’t even enjoyed my distractions.

Yet, in the grand scheme of things I’m being productive, I’m staying healthy, my family is healthy, I’m listening to good books, I’m meditating, I’m improving my archery skills. There should be a lot to celebrate, or at least appreciate. Cognitively I understand this. But I don’t know how to give myself a break and appreciate all these things?

Well, I better get my butt to my home gym and go through the motions of working out. I’ll listen to a podcast while I do, and maybe some motivational music. I’ll get out of this rut soon, but for now I’ll just go through the motions, which is better than letting myself slip.

fitness slump

I recently gave myself a big fitness goal, and then the March Break hit. Week one I stuck with things, week two I took a lazy dive. I’ve been on that lazy dive for a second week and today was supposed to be the day I broke it and started again. It wasn’t.

My motivation seems to be at an all-time low right now. But I know what I need to do. I need to ‘let go’ of the goal, and just get my butt into my gym. I need to allow myself to go through the motions and feel low… but still get in the gym and do something. I didn’t get back to things today. I will get myself back on the treadmill and lifting weights, or doing chin ups, tomorrow morning. Sometimes it’s ok just to go through the motions, but it’s not good to let myself avoid workouts. When I do this, it becomes an unhealthy loop.

So tomorrow morning, I won’t push myself on the treadmill. I’ll do some low weight with high repetition exercises. I’ll add a sticker to my chart, and at least 4 more in the weeks to come, so that I’m back to 5 workouts a week. Hopefully some time this week or next, I’ll feel more motivated and get back to my goal… but for now the goal is to just show up.

That BS kid

I was one of those kids. You know the type, every report card my marks were somewhere between average and good, with comments about me not meeting my potential… The ‘BS’ grade of ‘B’ but only a ‘S’atisfactory for effort, rather than ‘G’ood. With a few exceptions the marks could have been ‘A’s. It got worse in university where my marks became further divergent, with me getting ‘A’s in the courses I liked and ‘C’s in the ones I didn’t.

It took my Teacher Ed degree at 29 years old before my marks started to actually represent my abilities, and even then it was partially because I surrounded myself with people who pushed me. I can still hear Anna-Christana’s voice, “Dave, look at our calendar, we have 3 big things due, one on Thursday, two on Friday next week, so you need to start at least one of them this weekend, ok?”

It took me almost two decades of schooling to figure it out on my own before starting my Masters. And now, despite knowing these kind of students, despite being one of these students, I still don’t know a magic formula to move a ‘BS’ to a ‘BG’ or an ‘AG’. As a side note, it’s not as much about the ‘A’ mark as the ‘G’ for effort, that I’m really interested in seeing… change the effort, grades will eventually follow.

In high school, favourite teachers of mine could get me to put more effort into things, but they didn’t decide to be a favourite teacher, I decided. That speaks a lot to the importance of relationships in teaching, but kids don’t always meet you there. Yes, we can excite these students about a project that are in their areas of interest. Yes, we can give them more choice in assignments and ways to demonstrate learning, but at some point they need to step up too.

I wish there was a secret I could reveal. I wish I could look back in time and say, ‘If only I had done this‘, or i’If only someone had provided me with that‘, well then things would have been different. Maybe there is something, but for me it was my age and my willingness to put the effort in. Until then, learning on someone else’s agenda was pretty much BS to me.